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Oh I love your LO and the journaling was so touching. I feel the same way.. It is definetly a mom thing. Just the thought of missing one day of my dd life is a torturous thought.. Your dd's will truly cherish this
What a beautiful layout. Someday, many years from now your daughters will read this and cry their eyes out because they will understand how much you love them.
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If it helps you any, the fear lessens a little bit as you and they grow older, however it never goes away. You are very normal. You are suffering from what they call "being a mom". <img border='0' src='/images/icons/wink.gif'>
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Project - HOF - My Biggest Fear by momto2dd posted 03/19/06 at 09:50 PM Galleries: Scrapbooking Journaling: My Biggest Fear is that something will happen to me and you girls will grow up without a mother. My Biggest Fear is not being there to see you graduate from high school and college. My Biggest Fear is that I won't be there to see you walk down the isle. My Biggest Fear is that I won't be able to see you become mommies and that I won't get to see the joy in your faces the first time you hold your newborn child. My Biggest Fear is that I won't get over these thoughts and they will haunt me every day for the rest of my life. Why do I obsess over death? I feel as if I live my life in fear. I am not sick (or at least I hope not). I am only thrity-one years old and feel as if I'm in the prime of my life. So why is it that on a daily basis I struggle with thoughts of something happening to your dad or I? I know if I died life would go on and you both would be well taken care of but there is this burning greed inside of me that doesn't want to miss one beat of your life. I'm not an obsessed mother, I let you live life and be children. I just want to forever be a part of your lives. I want to continue on with our family traditions and rituals. I want to make sure that you have things just perfect for the Holidays. If something would happen to me, who would make Baby Jesus his birthday cake, who would put a line of Hershey Kisses outside of your bedroom doors for Valentine's, who would make sure that your birthday cake came from Lincoln Bakery? Why do I worry about all these little details? I guess because I want you to have it all and I want to be there to share in your experiences. I am so proud of you girls and my love for you makes my heart ache. I think that is why I scrapbook, to leave behind samll treasures and reminders of me and our traditions. I even went as far as making a Thanksgiving Scrapbook on the details of our day right down to the munu. I hope that My Biggest Fear never becomes reality. I love you both immensely. |
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