Funeral question

Two Peas is Closing
Click here to visit our final product sale. Click here to visit our FAQ page regarding the closing of Two Peas.

Posted 10/7/2012 by emmasmom1016 in NSBR Board
 

emmasmom1016
PeaNut

PeaNut 436,631
August 2009
Posts: 255
Layouts: 1
Loc: New York State of Mind

Posted: 10/7/2012 3:41:09 PM
I have been asked to be the "master of ceremonies" so to speak at my dear aunt's burial tomorrow. The family is respecting my aunt's wishes for no religious ceremony just a gathering of immediate family at the cemetery. I will be speaking to start off what I hope is people sharing a memory. My question is how do you speak about someone who was so special without getting super emotional. I have 2 poems that I will read but when I share my story I can't get through it. What tips do the peas have


Uploaded with iPhone client

BEF2008
AncestralPea

PeaNut 183,504
January 2005
Posts: 4,477
Layouts: 0

Posted: 10/7/2012 3:43:44 PM
Honestly, I don't think you should worry if you get emotional. It's a funeral and everyone will feel emotional and expect you to be also. Just go with your feelings in honor of your aunt. My condolences.

MrsScrapDiva
PeaFixture

PeaNut 101,638
August 2003
Posts: 3,932
Layouts: 2
Loc: New Hampshire

Posted: 10/7/2012 3:44:45 PM
I'm very sorry for your loss.

When I did a reading at a very large funeral for my Uncle, I had a relative standing with me. Even though he wasn't speaking at that time, it was nice to have him by my side.

KittenOnTheKeys
PeaFixture

PeaNut 498,237
February 2011
Posts: 3,407
Layouts: 0
Loc: SW

Posted: 10/7/2012 3:46:44 PM
We were taught to sing the alphabet song in our head (or any unemotional type song). Start with some funny things. The pastor who led my Mom's was actually one of the kids they taught and he had some funny stuff. Then add in some serious stuff. When you feel the mood sinking, add in more funny stuff.

Creativegirl
PeaFixture

PeaNut 180,283
December 2004
Posts: 3,159
Layouts: 18
Loc: California

Posted: 10/7/2012 3:50:17 PM
It's ok to be emotional. It can help to take your time and focus on taking a good deep breath at every period and comma. Focus on someone in the crowd with a supportive smile that's not as emotional.


Anna




KelleeL
Eye pea ;)

PeaNut 29,130
February 2002
Posts: 6,111
Layouts: 67
Loc: 01826

Posted: 10/7/2012 4:34:37 PM
I spoke at my Mom's memorial service in April. It was the hardest thing I'd done in a very long time. You can do it and will be happy that you honored your aunt by speaking of her. (((hugs)))





scrapaholicmt
I reject your reality & substitute my own

PeaNut 183,518
January 2005
Posts: 12,344
Layouts: 64
Loc: Big Sky Country

Posted: 10/7/2012 4:36:05 PM
there is nothing wrong with getting emotional while speaking. Just go with it and if you need to take a breath or two to regroup go ahead. Everyone will understand and will be feeling the same way. Good luck.


Jennie
You call me Pollyanna like that's a bad thing.




Flat Alex's World Tour

scrappychick13
PeaFixture

PeaNut 194,901
March 2005
Posts: 3,739
Layouts: 1
Loc: on the brink of insanity

Posted: 10/7/2012 5:17:10 PM
If you know what you're going to say, write it down. If you get too emotional to continue, hopefully someone will step in to finish for you. I've done this for a couple people, and have had it done for me.

emmasmom1016
PeaNut

PeaNut 436,631
August 2009
Posts: 255
Layouts: 1
Loc: New York State of Mind

Posted: 10/7/2012 5:52:25 PM
Thank you, I have been reading and re-reading my words while looking at a picture of my aunt. Hoping to keep the emotion low key because I'm one of those people that starts crying when someone else does.


Uploaded with iPhone client

*christine*
Putting Lanus off with her blinding beauty

PeaNut 139,174
March 2004
Posts: 17,837
Layouts: 0

Posted: 10/7/2012 6:07:49 PM
I'm sorry for your loss.

The key is not looking directly at anyone who might be crying while you're speaking. My MIL asked me to do readings at the funerals of both of her parents. When the mother died, I made the mistake of looking at DHs sisters who were hysterical and I started to lose it and had to stop. When their grandfather died, I looked at the priest and the guys from the funeral home instead of any of the family.

I cry when I see other people cry too.

I'm sure you'll do fine.


~Christine~

If we weren't all crazy we would go insane!!!

Really Red
Pea-ceful and Hap-pea

PeaNut 24,951
November 2001
Posts: 9,024
Layouts: 1

Posted: 10/7/2012 6:26:20 PM
I just did this at my aunt's funeral this past week. I actually thought of a funnyish story to tell right after.

I will tell you everyone was crying. Don't worry about it.

I'm sorry about your loss.


Andrea

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller

enjoytotheend
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 359,333
January 2008
Posts: 5,185
Layouts: 0

Posted: 10/7/2012 10:09:43 PM
I spoke at my mom's funeral and I had some of it printed out and a friend on back up duty if I couldn't make it through it. I did just fine. But it didn't hurt having someone that could step in if I couldn't make it through. I did pretty good with the talk but singing was a bit harder.

Katlaw
Send in the Monkeys!

PeaNut 86,755
May 2003
Posts: 7,240
Layouts: 20
Loc: Canada

Posted: 10/7/2012 11:10:14 PM
I find by practicing what I have to say out loud with a close family member I will cry when I need to with them. Then when I have to say it at the service I am more in control. It is okay to pause and gather yourself if you feel yourself getting too emotional. People will expect that. Add some funny stories or memories into what you are saying.


Kathy




Show/Hide Icons . Show/Hide Signatures
Hide
{{ title }}
{{ icon }}
{{ body }}
{{ footer }}