Vent: It's my fault and now I feel like an idiot...

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Posted 11/17/2012 by Cynthia V in NSBR Board
 

Cynthia V
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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:09:50 PM
We are going to Las Vegas to visit my dad and his wife for Thanksgiving and about a month ago I bought 2 tickets for Cirque Du Soleil. At the time when I bought the tickets there weren't many options available. Either the prices were too much or we already had family plans on the other available days. So, the only show that seemed ok is for the night before Thanksgiving. So, I bought the tickets and figured my dad could watch my 2 yr old. Right after I bought the tickets I started thinking maybe I should've asked my dad first and see if it was ok. So I called him, and he told me his flight doesn't get there till midnight. (My dad lives in Oakland but has a house with his wife in LV) but that his wife would be there and it should be ok. Sadly it never crossed my mind to call her and ask her. My mistake, I know...

Today she called me and asked what time we are getting there, I told her Wednesday morning and she seemed a little overwhelmed by it. I don't know what time would have been more appropriate. Then she begins to tell me all the things she has to do, and how much work she has. I offered to help once I got there and she said oh no, there's not much for me to do there. Then I realized, that she didn't know I was leaving my 2 yr with her on Wednesday night. So I didn't want to bring it up, but somehow she could tell I had something in my mind. So, I told her how I bought the tickets for the show and what not. She asked me why I did that, and I just said that it was the only time we could actually go, and that I unfortunately didn't know my dad wasn't going to be there until later. She said she was sorry but she can't watch my son that he doesn't know her well and might cry the whole time. I asked her what if I left him in bed and sleeping. She said no what if he wakes up. I tried to tell her that he does fine without me there and that if she turn on the tv and plays some of his cartoons we won't even bother her. But she doesn't want to take the risk, and doesn't want to get behind on all the things she has to do. I can't blame her. While I completely understand I can't help to feel so stupid. I know I should've asked before I bought the tickets. Now, I can't get a refund for the tickets or exchange for another date.

I just don't know what to do, I'm stressed about it. My husband is somewhat upset that I just wasted $180 for nothing. I was really excited to do something fun with him but now I'm just sad. We never do much for fun here. He works a lot, we don't have much family here, is just his mom and sister and I feel uncomfortable leaving my son with strangers therefor we never go or do anything fun just the two of us.

I'm sorry this was too long, I just wanted to get it out of my chest...



melanieposell
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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:14:26 PM
Oh no! That is so maddening. I hate when I mess up stuff like that. We all do it. Too bad yours cost so much $$! Maybe something will work out.
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TravelAgent
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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:14:53 PM
Do they know of a teen-age kid in the area you could pay to babysit your son in either your parents' home or the teen's? If it's a personal friend of the family, I'd personally feel safe leaving him.

I would NOT eat the $180 cost of those tickets. You need a night out, and this can be resolved.

Julie



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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:15:52 PM
I guess you have no other family in the area that would be willing to hang out at MIL's house to watch your son while he is in bed?

You can sell the tickets for face value. Then you aren't out the money.

It is disappointing to not be able to make it to the show! Maybe you can recoup the money and do something else in the future.







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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:17:08 PM
Do you have any other family that will be in Las Vegas at that time? Siblings, cousins, etc?


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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:17:48 PM
Is it possible your stepmother may know a teenager in the neighborhood who could come over to babysit? That way she wouldn't be directly responsible for caring for a toddler when she's stressed out, but there would still be a family member in the house so you wouldn't need to feel you were leaving your child with a stranger.

Alternatively, maybe you could sell the tickets on Craigslist or eBay. Sell them for less, to be sure they'll sell, and then you won't have lost nearly so much money.

And next time make sure to line up your sitter first!


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smilesnpeacesigns
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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:17:49 PM
What a bummer . I'm not going to get on you for not thinking to ask before hand. We all make those kind of mistakes. Can you call around Vegas is used to people wanting to go out with out kids maybe a place around there has a sitting service.

Now I bet you will be sure to ask next time, you live and learn.


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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:19:05 PM
I would look into a sitter too. Last time we went to LV we hired one for an evening so we could have some adult time. Ours was a friend of a friend and she came to the hotel and watched the kids.


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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:21:25 PM
I was going to suggest what others said above. Ask your dad's wife if she knows of someone in the neighborhood who you could hirer for the night. Offer to pay well, less costly then losing $180!

Darkangel090260
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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:22:50 PM
If your staying in a hotel then they should have a sitter services or nanny services that they use.


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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:23:05 PM
Try sittercity.com and see if that works for you.




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Cynthia V
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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:34:22 PM
We don't have any other family there and I doubt she has any friends that could watch my son. Although it wouldn't hurt to ask.

I mentioned to my husband about getting a babysitter and he said absolutely no *sigh*

I already posted the tickets on Craigslist for way cheaper, I hope they sell.
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nighthawk
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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:38:13 PM
Post on Craiglist, you might be able to sell the tickets. Even if you have to sell at a loss you aren't losing all the money on them.


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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:44:42 PM

I mentioned to my husband about getting a babysitter and he said absolutely no *sigh*


Well he gets to pick one or the other. He can either be mad about the money, or accept it because he won't let anyone else babysit. But he doesn't get to choose both.

I am not unsympathetic to this plight, it really sucks that your father's wife won't help out, but if you guys are unwilling to let anyone other than family babysit, this is kind of the choice you have made for yourselves, no?

You should try stubhub.com


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scrappychick13
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Posted: 11/17/2012 9:53:54 PM
You could try selling the tickets on Stub Hub! You can probably get back all of your money that way.

Bunnyfofi
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Posted: 11/17/2012 10:28:33 PM
Are you members of a church? I wonder if you could contact one of the churches in the area and find out if they have any young adults that would be interested in babysitting? Possibly the local LDS church? The young women usually have babysitting skills and are young woman of integrity!!!
You two deserve the night out...


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Posted: 11/17/2012 11:23:13 PM
Awwww I'm in Vegas and I'd watch the Lil guy! Or is that creepy? Hahah


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Posted: 11/18/2012 2:25:36 AM
What a shame - and totally the sort of thing I would do! I don't know what the venue is like but would there be any chance that he could go with you and sit on your lap? Better than losing the money.

Really Red
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Posted: 11/18/2012 5:33:53 AM
I'm sorry. I once made the assumption that my MIL wouldn't mind watching my kids. We were staying with her and they would be asleep and she could sleep, too. She said no way. What if they woke up!! And because she didn't speak English she was worried they wouldn't understand her. No matter they speak French and they understood her during the day!

I ended up staying and letting my husband go. Maybe if you can't sell the tickets you can do that? It totally stinks, but there are a lot of people who just cannot handle kids. So sorry!


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Cynthia V
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Posted: 11/18/2012 10:08:41 AM

Well he gets to pick one or the other. He can either be mad about the money, or accept it because he won't let anyone else babysit. But he doesn't get to choose both.

I am not unsympathetic to this plight, it really sucks that your father's wife won't help out, but if you guys are unwilling to let anyone other than family babysit, this is kind of the choice you have made for yourselves, no?


I talked to him this morning and he says he doesn't mind if a baby sitter comes to the house and watch our boy there. He just doesn't want our boy going to someone's house. Someone that we don't know, I guess.


You could try selling the tickets on Stub Hub! You can probably get back all of your money that way.


I'll try that thanks




Awwww I'm in Vegas and I'd watch the Lil guy! Or is that creepy? Hahah


Not creepy at all! Very sweet of you in fact


I'm sorry. I once made the assumption that my MIL wouldn't mind watching my kids. We were staying with her and they would be asleep and she could sleep, too. She said no way. What if they woke up!! And because she didn't speak English she was worried they wouldn't understand her. No matter they speak French and they understood her during the day!

I ended up staying and letting my husband go. Maybe if you can't sell the tickets you can do that? It totally stinks, but there are a lot of people who just cannot handle kids. So sorry!



This is too what I thought at first, that they would just love to watch him, since she is always saying how much she's missing out and what not. Oh well... I will try to find a sitter, but first I need to ask T (dad's wife) if that's ok. She might not want strangers in her house.

molove
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Posted: 11/18/2012 11:46:37 AM
Good that you posted to sell. You never know, that might work and all will be fine.

If not, it's an expensive $180 lesson and I bet you never do that again!!! Yes, it's a lot of $$$, but oh well. It's not worth all the strife and now you know how she feels about stuff like this.

Epeanymous
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Posted: 11/18/2012 11:53:07 AM
Ugh. I am really sorry. My inlaws have never been willing to watch our kids if we are in town, but they are perfectly happy to have us hire a sitter to watch the kids in their home, so maybe that will work out for you.

sharonmnc
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Posted: 11/18/2012 1:10:13 PM
I'm sorry you're not going to get to see the show. At least you own it instead of acting like your stepmother is some kind of monster. She could be more accommodating but I'd be p*ssed if I were hosting people for a Thanksgiving dinner and they showed up expecting me to babysit their 2 year old while I was trying to get everything done. My in-laws always acted like we'd asked them for a kidney if we wanted them to babysit even if they weren't doing anything.

I hope everything works out for you.


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Posted: 11/18/2012 1:49:50 PM
Can you get a hotel room for that night and have a sitter service come to the hotel room? Then it wouldn't be some random stranger, but someone hired by an agency with a full background check.

Good luck. I have parents who don't babysit, either. It gets difficult to work around at times.


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Posted: 11/18/2012 2:09:43 PM
My sister is a nanny in Vegas-I guess I don't really know the details of her work though (whether it's through a service or what). Maybe there is a nanny service you can check with? I know that at one time, she was watching people's kids in hotel rooms while they gambled and saw shows and whatnot.


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Cynthia V
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Posted: 11/18/2012 7:12:41 PM

If not, it's an expensive $180 lesson and I bet you never do that again!!! Yes, it's a lot of $$$, but oh well. It's not worth all the strife and now you know how she feels about stuff like this.



You're right, a lesson to learn. Honestly, I didn't think much of it because the rest of my family doesn't feel that way. My mom would have been thrilled to watch him. When we are in Peru visiting she's literally begging me to watch him, same thing with my grandma. And when we are in SF visiting my dad's side of the family they are the same way. All my aunts just want to spend time with our boy. And as far as this being a different situation since she has so much to do for the following day, she really doesn't have to follow him around. My son is a pretty independent child, he plays by himself and if you turn on the tv and play some of his cartoons he will just sit there the whole time until it's over. So yes lesson learned.


Ugh. I am really sorry. My inlaws have never been willing to watch our kids if we are in town, but they are perfectly happy to have us hire a sitter to watch the kids in their home, so maybe that will work out for you.


I called my dad a while ago to see how he and T would feel if I hired a sitter, I wanted his input before I called T to ask. He seemed upset that T said no, mostly because she has babysat for her grandchildren in the past under the same circumstances. So he doesn't get why she said no. I told him not worry about it, that I would hire a sitter and he pretty much said that T was not going to like that at all. (I kinda figured that) .

But I think I have it all figured out now. I will just drop my kid off at a drop off child care center. I already called some places to get an idea of how much it will cost and so far that seems to be the best option.

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Posted: 11/18/2012 8:04:53 PM

But I think I have it all figured out now. I will just drop my kid off at a drop off child care center. I already called some places to get an idea of how much it will cost and so far that seems to be the best option.
Am I the only one who doesn't think this is a good idea. I mean you think it is ok to leave your 2 year old with total strangers in a city that you don't live in? I would never do this. I think selling the tickets is the only option you have at this point if your dad's wife won't watch him.


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Posted: 11/18/2012 8:10:41 PM
It sounds like a public place designed for exactly how the OP is using it. I wouldn't be upset with that decision.

Julie



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Posted: 11/18/2012 8:24:50 PM
I used a nanny service when we stayed in Vegas for my very young daughter. It worked out fine.



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Posted: 11/18/2012 8:32:09 PM
Which Cirqueshow?





Cynthia V
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Posted: 11/18/2012 8:35:43 PM

Am I the only one who doesn't think this is a good idea. I mean you think it is ok to leave your 2 year old with total strangers in a city that you don't live in? I would never do this. I think selling the tickets is the only option you have at this point if your dad's wife won't watch him.


I am NOT leaving my son in some estrangers house. It's basically a day care that it's open 24/7 . There are many places like this in LV, and are used for the same purpose as I am. Here's the link to http://kidsrusvegas.com/

Before today, I had no idea places like this existed but they do and I plan to use it for 3 hours.

Cynthia V
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Posted: 11/18/2012 8:37:26 PM

Which Cirqueshow?


Mystere

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Posted: 11/18/2012 9:23:17 PM
I'm not sure of the policy regarding a ticket for 2 yr. olds. But if he can sit on your lap, I would take him! Mystere is very kid friendly! In fact, they sell popcorn,etc. and there were quite a few kids the last time we went.

We've seen every Cirque show in Vegas. Most I would say no way to taking kids! But Mystere would be fun for all of you!





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Posted: 11/18/2012 9:56:22 PM
I just got back from Vegas - friends are planting a church there and I know a whole contingent of sweet,smart, godly college-degreed young people who surely would watch your child. No kidding. Pea mail me if you are at all interested, although I think the drop-in place would be fine! Good luck! It is not impossible to make this work - you can do it, even with all these obstacles!

Cynthia V
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Posted: 11/18/2012 10:06:16 PM

I'm not sure of the policy regarding a ticket for 2 yr. olds. But if he can sit on your lap, I would take him! Mystere is very kid friendly! In fact, they sell popcorn,etc. and there were quite a few kids the last time we went.

We've seen every Cirque show in Vegas. Most I would say no way to taking kids! But Mystere would be fun for all of you!


I thought about this too, but we only bought 2 tickets and I can't find anywhere on their website if I can bring my 2 yr old and if he needs a ticket or not. Another thing is, I'm not sure the people around us would appreciate a toddler there, idk. It's a 2 hr show, and while I think he will do fine, he might get scared or not enjoy the show.



I just got back from Vegas - friends are planting a church there and I know a whole contingent of sweet,smart, godly college-degreed young people who surely would watch your child. No kidding. Pea mail me if you are at all interested, although I think the drop-in place would be fine! Good luck! It is not impossible to make this work - you can do it, even with all these obstacles!



Yeah, I think the 24/7 day care will work fine.

Thanks everyone for your helpful ideas

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Posted: 11/19/2012 6:16:04 AM

. Another thing is, I'm not sure the people around us would appreciate a toddler there, idk.
I'm pretty sure people who paid $90 a ticket don't want to sit next to a 2 year old. I loved taking my kids to children's theater but they got bored or talked sometimes. At least it was someplace that nobody minded. Vegas, not so much.


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Posted: 11/19/2012 8:28:50 AM

Am I the only one who doesn't think this is a good idea. I mean you think it is ok to leave your 2 year old with total strangers in a city that you don't live in? I would never do this. I think selling the tickets is the only option you have at this point if your dad's wife won't watch him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I am NOT leaving my son in some estrangers house. It's basically a day care that it's open 24/7 . There are many places like this in LV, and are used for the same purpose as I am. Here's the link to http://kidsrusvegas.com/

Before today, I had no idea places like this existed but they do and I plan to use it for 3 hours.
I think it is a brilliant idea and a win-win!



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reneelcla
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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:17:07 AM
I agree with the poster who said Mystere is very kid friendly. My family won a Budget Travel Magazine Contest & saw Mystere.

My kids were 8 & 10. There were some very subtle adult situations but my kids had no clue.
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Annabella
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Posted: 11/19/2012 9:24:12 AM
Honestly I'd be so pissed I wouldn't go. Why spend Thanksgiving with a woman who can't be bothered to watch her step-grandchild? That to me is the bigger issue than finding a sitter or how to sell the tickets.




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Posted: 11/19/2012 10:48:59 AM
FWIW, my parents used to get professional sitters for me and my siblings when in Vegas (and other places too), and we always had a good time in a safe place. I'm the oldest, so I can actually remember it, kwim? Vegas is set up for this sort of thing and I'm not sure why anyone would suggest you sell your tickets for that reason.

I also would not be pissed at MIL for not wanting to sit. She was stressed regarding the visit before you even added that little detail, you know? And how many Peas post about this sort of thing and how they cannot stand to be presumed upon??
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