|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:08:24 AM|
The holidays seems so stressful trying to get to everyone's house on the appropriate days and times. As families grow, do you find it important to have holidays on the EXACT day the calendar shows? How does your family avoid conflicts?
* Happy Camper *
Loc: Heffalump Hollow
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:14:29 AM|
All different dates. We (DH & I) have divorced parents and extended family that does stuff too (UGH!!). So, one is going to do it very early in the month, one mid month and one right near the holiday. Then we have the actual holiday with some folks at our house. The extended family holiday party we are always invited to but typically have to miss as we are balancing on of our other family/parent events. It all kind of sucks having so many layers to it - while the events are nice, we love to visit and celebrate, it does take a big portion of our season to fit them all in.
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:17:11 AM|
I think it's unreasonable for anyone to expect to celebrate with everyone on the exact holiday.
Our family starts talking about Christmas fairly early so we can figure out which days work out the best for everyone. My dh is a police officer and rarely gets holidays off, so we're usually the family that is making sacrifices in our schedule to accomodate everyone else. Poor dh usually sacrifices his sleep since he mainly works nights.
The Banana Under the Couch Pea
Loc: Somewhere over the rainbow...
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:17:25 AM|
Due to my work schedule and a big move for my parents, we are celebrating Christmas with my family in February 2013! We've never been sticklers about having to celebrate on THE day.
Loc: Sweet Home Chicago
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:19:06 AM|
We do NOT travel out of state for Christmas. EVER. This was big news to my SIL a few years ago when we moved out of state and she realized that we weren't coming into town during the Christmas season.
We really don't see my husband's family much during the CHrismtas season now. We lived near them for 8 years. We spent Christmas with them every year. If we can make it in, we do, but we don't stress about it. This is on m husband, of course. He decides what he'd like to do and he doesn't care if he goes or not so I don't push it.
We have Christmas with my Dad and siblings two weeks before Christmas. Prior to our move, we'd have Thanksgiving with them and celebrate Christmas then. We invite our local family over for Christmas dinner. Anyone who wants to come, may.
happily married to my very own Geek
Mom to the Divine Miss Em, sweet Cadiebug and baby Annie (6/09)
Mrs Smarty Pants
PEAing Like R. Kelly
Loc: Brooklyn, NY/Now Newark NJ
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:19:53 AM|
In MY family the large celebration is on xmas eve. We're Cuban and Noche Buena is a larger deal that xmas day.
DH's family does their own thing. All of his siblings (there are 5 of them) live in different states, so there's no "celebration".
WE do xmas day with just the 3 of us (sometimes my dad will come over, too).
likes shiny things
Loc: Ontario, Canada
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:24:52 AM|
Christmas doesn't seem like Christmas if it isn't held on the proper day. I like getting together with other people during the season "for Christmas" but our real celebration has to happen on the 24th-26th.
Loc: Humble, TX
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:27:56 AM|
We do things all month and when there's a conflict we talk it over and decide on one unless we can make it to both by not staying the entire time.
Here's my month so far but I know I have at least one more work party for DH and my Dad's side gets together but if something has to be missed, it's that one. I'm not very close to them and its 1.5 hous away from all our other obligations.
12th - my work party
14th - retirement party
23rd - dh's family at our house
24th - Mom's family (1.5 hours away) from 5-10 (I work half day)
25th - Dad's house (early AM), dh's grandmothers house, my bio mom's house, and back to my Dad's to hopefully see the family that's been there while we're driving to see everyone else.
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:30:39 AM|My birthday is on Christmas so I want everyone to come on Christmas. I'm selfish like that.
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:44:42 AM|
Everyone has a different days. That is the only way it will work for us.
MIL gets Thanksgiving at my Home.we celebrate Christmas with her then .MIL and Step FIL winter in TX.
FIL and Step MIL Christmas Eve..out to dinner and our home so the kids can play with their stuff. Just sit and chat. Maybe church if FIL is up to it.
My mom and step Dad..Saturday before Christmas..all siblings,cousins etc. All day..brunch to night.... at who ever is hosting...usually me. I like Christmas so this is a fun day.
Christmas Day.Home with our little family.. relax and do whatever. Grandparents are welcome to come over. They mostly like being home too now.
My Dad and Step Mom..Day after Christmas..dinner at my house. They come to our home since they live far away.
It gets a little tiring but it all works.
La Pea Boheme
Loc: Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:47:07 AM|
We live in the same city as my brother and my parents visit from out of province for the entire month of December. DH's family are all on the other side of the country. It certainly takes the angst out of the whole thing.
For me, December looks like this:
Dec 21st - Solstice celebration with DB an BIL
Dec 24th - dinner at brother's house with parents, friends and extended family
Dec 25th (morning) - gifts opened at home with DH and kids
Dec 25th (late morning) - pop over to DB's to watch everyone their open their gifts
Dec 25th (evening) - dinner at DB's
Dec 26th - party at cousin's house
Dec 27th - pierogie feast at my house
Visiting with his family during Christmas is not an annual thing and if it's done, whoever visits adopts the traditions of the house they are visiting.
Gotta kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight. - Bruce Cockburn
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams
|Posted: 11/27/2012 9:54:42 AM|We used to do Christmas Eve at my DH's uncle's house, who even had Santa drop in for a visit, but he's ill and doesn't do that anymore. Instead, we spend a quiet evening at home. We've been invited to SIL's house and church that evening, but since we do so much traveling on Christmas, we like to stay home.
Christmas Day, the kids open their gifts, and then we have breakfast. Around 10:30 we go to my DH's parents' house which is 1 1/1 miles away. We do the family Christmas there and a big lunch. Around 2, we leave for my mom's house which is 2 hours away. There we do Christmas gifts, and my mom has food in roasters so we eat when we want buffet-style. Usually we stay overnight and do my DS's birthday the next day (his birthday is the 28th). I'm not sure what we'll do this year as my DH has to work the next day. We may end up having to come back late Christmas night.
The only year we didn't go to my mom and dad's (he passed away 3 years ago) was when I was pregnant with DS and he was overdue.
Busy day! We've had some rumblings over the last few years of changing it, but nothing has come of it.
Loc: Canada's Capital
|Posted: 11/27/2012 10:21:32 AM|
Unfortunately our family is now so small that there is not a lot of juggling needed. Ds's sister lives on the other side of the country so we never do Christmas with them.
My brother lives with my mom and they are totally flexible so the only thing we have to worry about is when my brother has his kids. He and his ex share custody. She is pretty flexible and I give her lots of warning when we are coming so she will usually let my brother have extra time. He does the same if asked.
We haven't clebrated Christmas together on Christmas day in about 5 years but we do always get together for 4 or 5 days during that time. This year it is the week after New years. I am very lucky my mom doesn't care about the date just thast she gets to see us.
Please ignore the typos..I do know how to spell, I DON"T know how to type
Old Dogs are Best!
Loc: With my dogs
|Posted: 11/27/2012 10:36:49 AM|
Growing up, Mom is from Cleveland, Dad is from Detroit.
Advent Season are the FOUR weeks preceding, aka "Christmas Shopping Season" but not Christmas. you prepare... clean house, make special foods and drinks, baking... etc.
Dad's family did the tree on Christmas Eve (Franco-German)
Mom's family did the tree a few days prior (Eastern European)
The time from after Midnight Mass to The Feast of the Epiphany (Jan 6th)
was THE CHRISTMAS SEASON. Presents on Dad's side - New Years not Christmas Day. Between Dec 20 to Jan 4 was when school was out and we would have Christmas either at home, or at my Dad's mother's. But pretty much there would be several family gatherings in either Cleveland or Detroit, with a tree and presents, going to Mass "en familie" and a big festive dinner!
So not all gifts were on Dec 25th!
Once I was in the military and stationed overseas ... I would be 'lucky' to have all my presents arrive before New Years! Seldom home for the holidays all those years too.
Some for DH (over several days), except his family is of English and Scots decent and have long and deep roots in West Virginia. But still, his Dad was in the Navy at sea and his mom was "home" in West VA. His grandparents, one set lived in town, the other were a couple ridges away.
So we don't seem to have that "stress" that others have. If I don't do baking till Dec 28th, so what???
I do stress over clean up before bring the "holidays out" because I don't want to searching high and low come January for something.
What I liked about living a decade in Germany was that many "Christmas concerts and stuff" were AFTER Christmas Day, not before. I also liked that stores (except for a few gas stations) were all REALLY CLOSED for a couple days in a row. Maybe the local grocer would be opened for a couple hours a day or so after Christmas so you can buy some dairy stuff. It was not just in Germany. Many places had to prepare a bit, but it was so much nicer too!
No, Christmas does not start after the pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving Day, and it does not end at 5 pm on December 25th.
Every MOM is a working mom!
"Retired" after 22 years of an Air Force Career
REMEMBER this Veterans Day
To quote Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take."
|Posted: 11/27/2012 11:05:34 AM|My DD's are gone this year.
Normally I tell them to stop by when I get everyone's presents wrapped, and I give them those to put at their house under their tree, we talk have coffee and I get to see the DGC all excited about putting Granny's presents under the tree.
I don't go to their house, they don't come to mine. Well that sounds sucky doesn't it? I do it because both have MIL's that are anal about any holiday, my poor girls were running around like crazy trying to see everyone and have their own time too so I just quit having holiday anything, unless the MIL's left it open then I would have a big dinner if the girls wanted too (and they normally did).
They have had holidays where the In-laws have gone out of town or something like that and they always ask me to do something and it feels really special since I told them they don't have to come. Last year I hosted T-giving for the 1st time in 5 years or so and my DGC had the best time. I made penguins out of olives for appetizers and we played scene it. They said their other Granma's dinner were boring LOL!!
So I don't host anything unless the girls ask me too , it makes the time we have together special. This year one of my DD's is in RI and my other is *away* for a while. I'll just be sending presents through the mail.
|Even with the snark, trolls and spelling police you are a great group of ladies!|
|Posted: 11/27/2012 11:12:57 AM|
I don't mind spreading things out- I am definitely not the type that has to celebrate holidays on the specific day. But as it is everyone still has a celebration on Christmas day and they want us to be there, so we try to make it work. Thankfully the majority of our family is local. My one set of grandparents are an hour away and we do their house on Christmas Eve.
We start the day at 5am (we feed breakfast to the homeless at our church) and after about 100 stops and visits it ends at 9 or 10pm when we crash back at home. It is nuts! DH and I have started doing our gifts and stockings Christmas Eve morning because it's the only chance we get to actually enjoy the time together. So we have two Christmas mornings, which is pretty fun actually!
Loc: Central New York
|Posted: 11/27/2012 11:29:26 AM|
When I was little:
24th - At home (Mom/step-Dad's) with Father/Step-mother
25th - open gifts, step-Dad's family comes over for brunch, head to Grandma's for dinner
When my brother could drive:
24th - brother & I go to father/step-mom's
25th - open gifts, step-Dad's family comes over for brunch, head to Grandma's for dinner
When my brother got married:
24th - brother/SIL go to her family's. step-dad's family and me/hubby at Mom's
25th - brunch at Mom's and dinner at Grandma's.
Time with Father/step-mom scheduled whenever we can all get together.
When I moved away:
the first year we came "home" and spent 4 nights in a hotel with a toddler while we visited various family members. After that we decided we'd spend Christmas day at our house and celebrate with all my family the weekend after.
Now, this is the first year that I'm back home but my brother lives across the country and we won't see him. I honestly don't know what we'll be doing.
Doxie Pea Mom
|Posted: 11/27/2012 12:23:26 PM|We start celebrating about a week before and don't stop until after New Years. We typically hit 3 different states when all is said and done. Insane, probably, I'm sure some would say most definitely. But for US the holidays are about family. I still remember my daughter's first Christmas - where we managed to not only hit all the grandparents but the great-grandparents as well. It was total and complete insanity, even I can admit it. A 5 state spree over three weeks. But, you know what - 2 of the 3 living great-grandparents passed away that year. I don't regret the craziness a bit - it meant so, so much to them to see their great-grandchild. The reality is, as time goes on the juggling gets easier - and for some pretty sad reasons. I wish we were still trying to squeeze in a visit to my grandmother. I've seen many talk about making time to travel later, when the kids are older. Don't forget - it's not just the kids getting older, don't overestimate how much time those grandparents have to spend with their grandchildren.
Loc: At the intersection of Hooterville and Stars Hollow
|Posted: 11/27/2012 4:24:51 PM|We have Christmas Eve with inlaws, Christmas Day with some of my family and get together with extended family throughout the season for fun activities and hanging out. It stretches the fun and the season
Loc: Washington State
|Posted: 11/27/2012 4:40:53 PM|We all still laugh about my grandma having Christmas in July, for real
dh's family is all in New York so it's all phone calls. My parents are divorced and my dad is very understanding. We spend Christmas Eve at my mom's house with everyone and then stop by his house on the way home Christmas Day.
We get together with my mom's siblings on New Years day.
~ Dori ~
I'm just a pea:)
Loc: *Sunny Southern California*
|Posted: 11/27/2012 5:13:30 PM|We spend Christmas in our own home. Just us.
It's what we like. The holiday is stress free and relaxing.
We usually visit the rest of the family a week or two before Christmas.
This year my kids and DGD are traveling to Montana to spend time with my sister and her family for a week the day after Christmas.
The only stress this year will be trying to get the kids to las Vegas to catch their flight by 11 am on the 26th.
Then pick them up there on the 3rd.
I think it's a 5 hour drive