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pinkabella
PeaAddict
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October 2010
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Loc: SF Bay Area, CA
 |  Posted: 12/5/2012 6:34:07 PM
I hesitated to post this question here, but I figured I'd give it a go. I'm truly interested in what others' experience around this is.
I'm facing a dilemma: DH and I have a conference to attend out of state tomorrow. We have a 10-month-old breastfed DD who I've never left overnight. Even though we'll just be gone one night (two days), I don't have enough milk pumped to last while I'm gone. So I have 3 options: take her with me, leave her here with formula, or leave her here with borrowed breast milk from a very healthy dear friend.
I worry that if I take her with me, I won't be able to concentrate on the workshops and work that I have to do while at the conference. She's mobile and quite active.
I'm worried that if I leave her here with formula, she won't take it. She's never had it before and can be picky when it comes to food otherwise. That could make the time horrendous for the sitter.
So...I'm pondering the borrowed breast milk idea. My good friend of 10+ years has a baby boy of similar age of my DD. She's very healthy...has a nutrition background, well-balanced diet, no alcohol, smoking, etc.
What I'm curious about is...do any of you have experience with using borrowed breast milk? Am I overreacting...i.e. is it more normal than it sounds to me? | |
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Peabay
Happy now?
PeaNut 156,993
July 2004
Posts: 44,813
Layouts: 13
Loc: Connecticut
 |  Posted: 12/5/2012 6:36:37 PM
I would totally do the borrowed breast milk. Babies had "nurse maids" for centuries - women hired to just nurse the babies. It may not be as common now, but I would have no issues with it.
And there's a whole business of women selling their breast milk to be used by babies whose mothers can't nurse for whatever reason. |
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vspindler
Scrappin C-Pea-A
PeaNut 36,141
April 2002
Posts: 9,619
Layouts: 183
Loc: Pea-town, WI
 | Posted: 12/5/2012 6:37:04 PM
I myself would do the borrowed milk, but then my dd had some of her aunt's milk and I was a donor.. |
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pinkabella
PeaAddict
PeaNut 486,481
October 2010
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Loc: SF Bay Area, CA
| Posted: 12/5/2012 6:42:50 PM
And there's a whole business of women selling their breast milk to be used by babies whose mothers can't nurse for whatever reason.
That was what DH said when I first even brought up the idea with him. | |
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PierKiss
What if everything is an illusion & nothing exists
PeaNut 82,319
April 2003
Posts: 14,490
Layouts: 39
 | Posted: 12/5/2012 6:44:56 PM
No I wouldn't do borrowed breastmilk. Mostly because I think it's icky. But I realize that is completely ridiculous. I would use formula. |
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biochemipea
likes shiny things
PeaNut 114,614
November 2003
Posts: 19,606
Layouts: 450
Loc: Ontario, Canada
 | Posted: 12/5/2012 6:51:36 PM
I would prefer my baby to have breastmilk from another woman rather than forumla, if I had a choice.
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VexedAngel
Cold Pea on a Cracked Plate
PeaNut 156,343
July 2004
Posts: 5,125
Layouts: 46
| Posted: 12/5/2012 6:52:02 PM
I took my 10 month old, BF, very active & mobile baby to an out of state conference... BUT my DH was only there to be with baby, he didn't have to attend, too. I presented at the conference and with all that it was difficult to be organized and focused on workshops I attended and that at the same time.
I personally wouldn't have had enough pumped, either. But I had to supplement sometimes with formula, and so DS was used to it. I personally wouldn't be comfortable with someone else's breast milk. I know it's ok and better, etc., but I personally and perhaps irrationally wouldn't be comfortable with it. So I would leave formula. But my situation was different.
Also, wouldn't someone else's
breast milk taste different anyway? |
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peaname
StuckOnPeas
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Loc: The Land of Steady Habits
| Posted: 12/5/2012 6:52:45 PM
Unless you've met the cow that made the formula you're better off with the friend's milk. You can home pasteurize if you're not 100%
Holder method | |
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domoo
OMG....Did I really say that out loud?
PeaNut 262,693
May 2006
Posts: 5,775
Layouts: 7
Loc: Louisville, K
 | Posted: 12/5/2012 6:56:54 PM
Absolutely the borrowed breastmilk, especially considering you know the source is healthy and practices healthy habits. No big deal at all.
I was a donor 30 years ago. Chances are that she won't take formula if you've never used it. |
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scrapprincess2002
lil lost okie
PeaNut 91,898
June 2003
Posts: 5,721
Layouts: 102
Loc: PA
| Posted: 12/5/2012 7:08:27 PM
I would go with the friends milk over powdered any day
powdered causes so many things tummy wise... |
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Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!
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September 2005
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| Posted: 12/5/2012 7:09:46 PM
I would blend your breastmilk with hers, but otherwise, yes, I would use it.
And my OB gave me great advice: If you plan to 100% breastfeed, have 14 days on hand at all times, just in case! |
Dog people are a special breed! | |
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Pridemom
Pride of the Peas
PeaNut 25,575
December 2001
Posts: 19,134
Layouts: 45
Loc: Stuck in the Middle With You
| Posted: 12/5/2012 7:13:55 PM
I would accept and use milk from a friend as you described. I had a friend who also had babies the ages of my first two. She babysat our oldest and we agreed that she could nurse him if ever needed. When she needed someone to babysit her son who never took a bottle in an emergency, I nursed him. No big deal. |
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Scrapperfriend
BucketHead
PeaNut 168,158
September 2004
Posts: 976
Layouts: 4
Loc: Washington State
| Posted: 12/5/2012 7:13:56 PM
Breastmilk for sure, but be aware that breast milk is formulated differently for babies of different ages. The milk for a toddler is different than the milk for a 1 month old.
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EricaLynn
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 34,917
April 2002
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Loc: Owasso, OK
| Posted: 12/5/2012 7:30:38 PM
In your shoes I'd borrow the breast milk. My kids both had blended diets of formula and breast milk, so I wouldn't have worried, but if I were in your shoes I'd go borrowed. And for two or three days I definitely wouldn't worry about the "type" of breast milk being off for a period of time. Be sure to pump regularly to keep your supply up! | |
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2peafaithful
People not perfection
PeaNut 35,457
April 2002
Posts: 28,032
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right where I should be
| Posted: 12/5/2012 7:32:42 PM
I would give my baby a friends breastmilk if there was a need. I have a friend right now in desperate need of donor milk and she has been posting online for it and signing up with some milk banks to try and meet the needs of her daughter. | |
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luvmythree
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 223,222
September 2005
Posts: 2,731
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Loc: Kansas
| Posted: 12/5/2012 7:38:11 PM
I would use the borrowed. |
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bgpa
BucketHead
PeaNut 53,649
October 2002
Posts: 930
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Loc: NorthCentral PA
| Posted: 12/5/2012 7:39:47 PM
No I wouldn't do borrowed breastmilk. Mostly because I think it's icky. But I realize that is completely ridiculous. I would use formula.
How is formula- made from milk squeezed from a cow less "icky" than breast milk?
Anywho, if you decide against the borrowed milk, could you take a sitter with you to care for the baby while you are at the conference? When I was a teen, I traveled with a family to care for the children while they attended an event. |
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paigepea
I'm PEAchy Keen!
PeaNut 74,479
March 2003
Posts: 17,036
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| Posted: 12/5/2012 7:53:16 PM
I wouldn't have a problem using donor milk In an emergency (let's not call it borrowed because you're not giving it back). But in your situation I'd take baby with me or not go. Then again, I'm used to 12 month maternity leaves so maybe my perpesctive is skewed.
Paige. |
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melanell
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 26,836
January 2002
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| Posted: 12/5/2012 7:56:30 PM
In the situation you are describing, I'd definitely go with the borrowed breast milk.  | |
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PierKiss
What if everything is an illusion & nothing exists
PeaNut 82,319
April 2003
Posts: 14,490
Layouts: 39
| Posted: 12/5/2012 8:01:46 PM
No I wouldn't do borrowed breastmilk. Mostly because I think it's icky. But I realize that is completely ridiculous. I would use formula.
How is formula- made from milk squeezed from a cow less "icky" than breast milk?
Anywho, if you decide against the borrowed milk, could you take a sitter with you to care for the baby while you are at the conference? When I was a teen, I traveled with a family to care for the children while they attended an event.
I dunno. It just is (to me). |
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myshelly
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 471,001
June 2010
Posts: 7,498
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 | Posted: 12/5/2012 8:12:59 PM
I would do borrowed breastmilk.
Formula would be my absolute last resort and I would do a lot to avoid it.
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tksmom
PeaAddict
PeaNut 47,423
August 2002
Posts: 1,721
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Loc: North Texas
| Posted: 12/5/2012 8:46:18 PM
Millions and millions of babies survive on formula. It's not poison. I breastfed, pumped, worked, traveled with baby, all of the above. Babies are pretty resilient. |
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aimee_lynn
PEAdestrian
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January 2005
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| Posted: 12/5/2012 8:46:29 PM
I think I would try to bring a babysitter to this conference (like a previous poster, my thoughts are probably coloured by the fact that I'm used to 12-month maternity leaves, and I've never had to leave my baby overnight), but if that wasn't possible, I would definitely use my friend's milk. Sounds like a good fit--babies around the same age, healthy, etc.
I've tried to bring a baby of similar age to a workshop before (DH and I went to the same workshop, so kind of similar situation), and I wouldn't recommend it! That's why, if you bring her, I would say to bring a babysitter to stay in your hotel room while you're at the conference.
Has your DD ever taken a bottle? When DD was 13 months old, DH and I had another workshop to go to (just 1/2 hour away) and I'd never been away from DD for that long--I work around the corner from our house and come home to nurse her at lunch time. I left pumped milk with the babysitter (normally she'd be with her just 3.5-4 hours, so we didn't bother sending her with any) and DD refused to drink it because she wasn't used to a bottle. That might be something to consider too. |
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alittleintrepid
PeaAddict
PeaNut 345,847
November 2007
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 | Posted: 12/5/2012 8:56:55 PM
What do milk banks do to monitor the quality of donor milk? I assume it's pasturized? What else? Maybe I'm paranoid but the idea that she's "healthy" wouldn't be enough for me. I'm not against it but I'd want to know that I wasn't unknowingly passing something through the milk that she wasn't aware of. | |
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Heather Marie
PeaNut
PeaNut 300,303
February 2007
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Loc: Defiance, OH
 | Posted: 12/5/2012 9:00:50 PM
I would choose donor breast milk as well. | |
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Pretty In PeaNK
AncestralPea
PeaNut 417,489
March 2009
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 | Posted: 12/5/2012 9:03:13 PM
What do milk banks do to monitor the quality of donor milk? I assume it's pasturized? What else? Maybe I'm paranoid but the idea that she's "healthy" wouldn't be enough for me. I'm not against it but I'd want to know that I wasn't unknowingly passing something through the milk that she wasn't aware of.
Blood screenings, like Hep A, B, C, HIV, and questionnaires. |
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theshyone
I'm Alive!
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June 2006
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Loc: Alberta
| Posted: 12/5/2012 9:06:36 PM
She may not like the borrowed milk either. All milk tastes different |
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Pretty In PeaNK
AncestralPea
PeaNut 417,489
March 2009
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| Posted: 12/5/2012 9:21:06 PM
She may not like the borrowed milk either. All milk tastes different
Oh man, could you imagine? Flying out of state, she runs out of pumped milk, refuses formula, and the donor milk? You could have to leave early. I know eventually she'd eat something, but oh man, I would be a wreck knowing she was hungry and homesick. |
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pinkabella
PeaAddict
PeaNut 486,481
October 2010
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| Posted: 12/6/2012 12:33:51 AM
I sure appreciate all the responses! I've decided to leave DD home and give her my friend's breast milk.
There is just no way I'll be able to travel with her for this trip. It's a 2-day intensive and we've got lots of meetings/team sessions even outside of the workshops. It's like I may as well not go if I have to go and be in and out on mommy duty. And it's too late for a sitter.
Soo...friend just dropped off 4 z of milk for me
that was extra that she had. I'm hopeful that DD will accept that milk. She also does some baby food and crackers and such, so I earnestly hope that the milk provides just what she needs in the way of comfort and fullness.
You all got me with these cautions about testing and such, but I'm confident that my friend is clean and clear. Yes it's a thought that might give pause but this girl's like a sister to me. Our kids are 2 weeks apart, so we've both been tested recently. I'm just prayin DD will accept the milk now. | |
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peapermint
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 9,321
January 2001
Posts: 8,651
Layouts: 0
Loc: all up in your business
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 2:13:10 AM
Maybe you could mix your friend's milk half-and-half with yours so it won't taste that much different from what she's used to. And/or try her out on some of the friend milk ahead of time. | |
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SuzastampinCTMH
PeaFixture
PeaNut 157,667
July 2004
Posts: 3,864
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Loc: Upstate NY
| Posted: 12/6/2012 5:59:48 AM
When using someone else's milk, is there ever a worry that the donor mom may have eaten something that your child may be allergic to? I'm just wondering as we've had horses be allergic to their own mother's milk, so that got me thinking about allergies in babies and other's milk. |
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Princess Pea
AncestralPea
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December 2002
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| Posted: 12/6/2012 6:25:05 AM
I'm facing a dilemma: DH and I have a conference to attend out of state tomorrow. We have a 10-month-old breastfed DD who I've never left overnight.
Wow, and you are just now working out your baby's dietary needs? Hmm...
Go with the borrowed breastmilk or take the baby with you. I don't think you have another choice at this point. |
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jjjulee
BucketHead
PeaNut 522,402
October 2011
Posts: 708
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 | Posted: 12/6/2012 9:18:29 AM
I am a pumper for a girl who was my midwife's client, so I obviously have no issues with someone else's breastmilk. I'd never met her before, but right before I gave birth, my midwife told me that she had a client who was one of the 2% (or whatever the number is) of women who literally does not make milk, and she was pregnant, so she asked if I had any oversupply, to freeze it until she gave birth. She can get out about 2 ounces a day, on a good day, and tries so hard. My heart breaks for her.
Several of us started pumping for her and now her baby is almost 4 months old and has still never had a drop of formula. There's only a couple of us left still pumping, but I think it's just the coolest thing, so I have kept going. It's a little bit of a hassle on my end, but I can't even imagine not being able to produce milk.
The milk she's gotten from all of her donors has varied in terms of babies' ages (I have an 11 month old and am still pumping for her 4 month old. Another pumper's premature baby just got released from the NICU, so there's a wide range), the pumper's diet (I'm the only vegan pumper), etc. Yes, it's formulated a little bit differently, but if you are committed to giving your baby breastmilk, it's still better than formula.
So, for a one or two day trip, in my opinion, a little donor milk, even from someone with an older or younger baby, is perfectly fine. | |
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ScrapnMom2Four
BucketHead
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November 2008
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Loc: Northeast Pennsylvania
| Posted: 12/6/2012 3:59:46 PM
I would do the borrowed. |
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scrapApea
PeaAddict
PeaNut 23,080
October 2001
Posts: 1,918
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Loc: where seasons change
| Posted: 12/7/2012 5:34:07 PM
Unless you've met the cow that made the formula you're better off with the friend's milk
LOL Cow? Wouldn't that be Larry Darrell and Darrell down at the plant making the formula? | |
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