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danor98
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 75,209
March 2003
Posts: 2,606
Layouts: 18
Loc: Huntsville, Alabama
 |  Posted: 12/6/2012 8:46:04 AM
I am proofing something for my husband.
The first line is as follows:
In today's ever changing environment, we value your dedication in helping...........
What do you see wrong here, if anything? I have my thought, just need some support.
Thanks!  |
 
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Quote from my son..." So, scrapbooking is
just a more creative way of taking notes on your life!" | |
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peamac
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 340,335
October 2007
Posts: 5,633
Layouts: 1
Loc: Colorado
 |  Posted: 12/6/2012 8:56:55 AM
I tink it should be ever-changing, but it's early here so I may not be thinking straight. |
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nanluza
BucketHead
PeaNut 132,090
February 2004
Posts: 721
Layouts: 123
Loc: deep in the heart of
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 8:59:29 AM
I would put a hyphen...
ever-changing
The "in helping" sounds odd, but without reading the rest of the sentence, I can't offer another suggestion. | |
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danor98
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 75,209
March 2003
Posts: 2,606
Layouts: 18
Loc: Huntsville, Alabama
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danor98
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 75,209
March 2003
Posts: 2,606
Layouts: 18
Loc: Huntsville, Alabama
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pahina722
Peasfully Grading
PeaNut 167,524
September 2004
Posts: 5,949
Layouts: 1
Loc: Northwest Florida
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 9:30:28 AM
Yes, "today's" should have the apostrophe. It's showing ownership of environment.
I'd write the sentence as . . .
With today's ever-changing environment, we value your aid in getting our titles and titles of our partners. (I don't understand how one "gets" a title, but I assume you do.) |
~~~~~~Paige~~~~~~
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alisatj
PeaFixture
PeaNut 129,041
February 2004
Posts: 3,679
Layouts: 62
Loc: MD
| Posted: 12/6/2012 9:32:10 AM
Yes, it needs the apostrophe.
I would change it to "dedication to" rather than "in". | |
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Nightowl scrapper
Intl Assoc of Epic Length Posters - USA Chapter
PeaNut 103,889
August 2003
Posts: 24,976
Layouts: 0
Loc: Colorado
| Posted: 12/6/2012 9:36:51 AM
Not crazy about ever-changing, but yes, it needs a hyphen. And yes, today's needs the apostrophe, as it is possessive.
I would write it as "In today's dynamic environment, we value your dedication to helping us get our titles and the titles of our partners" |
"Until you put a thought into words, clearly and precisely, it is not a thought at all. It is a kind of fog rolling around inside the skull."
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peamac
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 340,335
October 2007
Posts: 5,633
Layouts: 1
Loc: Colorado
| Posted: 12/6/2012 9:37:12 AM
Today's
yes on the apostrophe- showing possession. |
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Georgiapea
Mom to the Wild Things.
PeaNut 96,783
July 2003
Posts: 26,500
Layouts: 0
Loc: Poss-a-Dillo Hill, Ozark, AL
| Posted: 12/6/2012 9:43:34 AM
Forget the grammar, I want to know about the titles! | |
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danor98
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 75,209
March 2003
Posts: 2,606
Layouts: 18
Loc: Huntsville, Alabama
| Posted: 12/6/2012 9:45:06 AM
Thank you all. I personally would re-write the whole thing, but my husband is only asking for my proofing. I will give him the suggestion you all have given me.
I knew I could count on you all! 
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Quote from my son..." So, scrapbooking is
just a more creative way of taking notes on your life!" | |
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danor98
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 75,209
March 2003
Posts: 2,606
Layouts: 18
Loc: Huntsville, Alabama
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RST
uniquer than you
PeaNut 101,300
August 2003
Posts: 5,904
Layouts: 65
Loc: Seattle, WA
| Posted: 12/6/2012 11:57:19 AM
Get / getting is not good. I'd push for stronger word choice than "help in getting" -- blech. Passive, wordy, meaningless.
But since your role is proofreader: yes, apostrophe and yes, hyphen.
RST |
| Everyone's unique, but some of us are more unique than average. | |
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~Lindy~
Catty smart aleck
PeaNut 89,450
June 2003
Posts: 17,509
Layouts: 40
Loc: Gone to Chemo with BethAnne.
| Posted: 12/6/2012 12:58:14 PM
Proofing also means identifying syntax errors.
Does this mean that when the environment wasn't ever changing, his company didn't appreciate the staff's dedication? To me, this is a mis-matched participle and should be changed.
I agree that "getting" is weak. Securing? Adding? |
-Lindy
"It's not how you look but how you see." | |
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