Grammar help please.....

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Posted 12/6/2012 by danor98 in NSBR Board
 

danor98
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 75,209
March 2003
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Posted: 12/6/2012 8:46:04 AM
I am proofing something for my husband.

The first line is as follows:
In today's ever changing environment, we value your dedication in helping...........


What do you see wrong here, if anything? I have my thought, just need some support.
Thanks!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote from my son..." So, scrapbooking is
just a more creative way of taking notes on your life!"

peamac
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 12/6/2012 8:56:55 AM
I tink it should be ever-changing, but it's early here so I may not be thinking straight.


PeaMac


nanluza
BucketHead

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Posted: 12/6/2012 8:59:29 AM
I would put a hyphen...

ever-changing

The "in helping" sounds odd, but without reading the rest of the sentence, I can't offer another suggestion.

danor98
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 12/6/2012 8:59:56 AM
Thank you, I hadn't thought of that.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote from my son..." So, scrapbooking is
just a more creative way of taking notes on your life!"

danor98
StuckOnPeas

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March 2003
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Posted: 12/6/2012 9:23:36 AM
the "in helping" continues like this.......

in helping us get our titles and the titles of our partners............

I think that is ok.

Should "today's" have an apostrophe? That is what was confusing me.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote from my son..." So, scrapbooking is
just a more creative way of taking notes on your life!"

pahina722
Peasfully Grading

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September 2004
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Posted: 12/6/2012 9:30:28 AM
Yes, "today's" should have the apostrophe. It's showing ownership of environment.

I'd write the sentence as . . .

With today's ever-changing environment, we value your aid in getting our titles and titles of our partners. (I don't understand how one "gets" a title, but I assume you do.)


~~~~~~Paige~~~~~~

alisatj
PeaFixture

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February 2004
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Posted: 12/6/2012 9:32:10 AM
Yes, it needs the apostrophe.

I would change it to "dedication to" rather than "in".

peamac
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 340,335
October 2007
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Loc: Colorado

Posted: 12/6/2012 9:37:12 AM
Today's

yes on the apostrophe- showing possession.


PeaMac


Georgiapea
Mom to the Wild Things.

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Posted: 12/6/2012 9:43:34 AM
Forget the grammar, I want to know about the titles!

danor98
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 12/6/2012 9:45:06 AM
Thank you all. I personally would re-write the whole thing, but my husband is only asking for my proofing. I will give him the suggestion you all have given me.

I knew I could count on you all!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote from my son..." So, scrapbooking is
just a more creative way of taking notes on your life!"

danor98
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 75,209
March 2003
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Loc: Huntsville, Alabama

Posted: 12/6/2012 9:58:25 AM
Georgiapea, that made me laugh. My husband is in the home entertainment industry. He works for 20th Century Fox. "Titles" refers to movie titles for Fox and other studios.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote from my son..." So, scrapbooking is
just a more creative way of taking notes on your life!"

RST
uniquer than you

PeaNut 101,300
August 2003
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Loc: Seattle, WA

Posted: 12/6/2012 11:57:19 AM
Get / getting is not good. I'd push for stronger word choice than "help in getting" -- blech. Passive, wordy, meaningless.

But since your role is proofreader: yes, apostrophe and yes, hyphen.

RST


Everyone's unique, but some of us are more unique than average.

~Lindy~
Catty smart aleck

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Posted: 12/6/2012 12:58:14 PM
Proofing also means identifying syntax errors.

Does this mean that when the environment wasn't ever changing, his company didn't appreciate the staff's dedication? To me, this is a mis-matched participle and should be changed.

I agree that "getting" is weak. Securing? Adding?


-Lindy

"It's not how you look but how you see."
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