| |
Cupcake
BucketHead
PeaNut 16,338
June 2001
Posts: 780
Layouts: 21
Loc: Red Sox Nation
 |  Posted: 12/6/2012 9:19:35 PM
The background: I just sent out an invite, on Facebook, for a family party at our home on Christmas Eve. This is the 2nd year we are hosting; for the previous 40+ years, it was at my aunt and uncle's home. My uncle, who has a birthday on Christmas Day, is now in a nursing facility with advanced dementia. It is horribly sad, and this year's holiday has the potential to be a downer.
Here's my goof: I accidentally included a neighbor on the list, and she immediately responded with a yes! (Stupid iPad,and stupid me for not triple checking before I finished creating the event!) I like this neighbor, we have become friendly since they moved in about a year and a half ago. Her and her husband have 3 kids under age 5. My brain is spinning over this good for a few reasons: (1) since the neighbor responded so quickly, I can't believe they don't have family to spend the evening with, and (2) I am not sure if having non family here would be a good distraction or a bad one. The only kids that are going to be here are between 9-13, so maybe some new little ones would add some fun energy to the evening. But I also don't want my family to feel as if there is an "intruder", since they will be complete strangers each other.
What say the Peas? DH wants to know! TIA!
UPDATE: I think we may have a Pea thread for the books: the consensus is unanimous! Thanks Peas, my DH was worried at first, but now we plan to invite a few more that may also be "orphaned" that night. I think it will be just what the party needs, new energy, more little ones again. It's time to start a new tradition. <3. When I figured out what I did,my gut reaction was, "oh well! The more the merrier!" Guess my gut was right for once.  . Thanks again!
Lisa B. |
Wife, Mother, Librarian, LSS Instructor, Superwoman, and all-around good doobie 
thecupcakemonologues.blogspot.com | |
|
|
Katybee
PeaFixture
PeaNut 379,678
June 2008
Posts: 3,318
Layouts: 11
Loc: Enjoying the summer sun!
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 9:23:51 PM
I think maybe it happened for a reason.  |
|
|
I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!
PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
Posts: 19,551
Layouts: 0
Loc: California, NY & Orlando
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 9:25:06 PM
Sounds like she was thrilled to be invited, and I can't think of a believable, polite, reason to uninvite her. I'd tell your family, in advance of the event 'Oh, BTW, I have invited the next door neighbor and her family to join us. They didn't have family to visit with on Christmas Eve so we wanted them to join us...you'll just love them, they have 3 delightful kids for <insert names of family kids> to play with'
I wouldn't burden them with the fact you accidentally invited them for fear some fool would say something and the neighbor would feel horrible.
Now that it's a done deal, focus on the positive and you'll all have a good time. | |
|
yungmom
Just Me
PeaNut 15,437
May 2001
Posts: 28,629
Layouts: 111
Loc: Salt Lake
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 9:27:04 PM
I agree with I-95. |
|
|
VexedAngel
Cold Pea on a Cracked Plate
PeaNut 156,343
July 2004
Posts: 5,092
Layouts: 46
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 9:27:15 PM
Well, it's done now. I say roll with it. |
|
|
lovetodigi
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 257,022
April 2006
Posts: 7,673
Layouts: 5
Loc: Metro Atlanta
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 9:28:02 PM
Now that it is water over the bridge and you can't put it back, just go with it and enjoy your get together. Christmas only comes once a year. |
Visit my Pinterest
Sony a77
Sony 18-70mm F3.5/5.6, Sony 75-300mm f/4.5-5.6,
Sony 50mm 1.8, Sony DT 35mm f/1.8 SAM
Tamron SP 90mm f/2.8 Di 1:1 AF Macro AF
Tamron 18-270mm F/3.5-6.3 AF Zoom with Macro
MacBook Pro 15" (Mid 2012)
Photoshop CS6 & PSE 11
Lightroom 4 | |
|
|
Luvspaper
PeaFixture
PeaNut 24,564
November 2001
Posts: 3,294
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/6/2012 9:30:56 PM
I've been that neighbor.....except my kids were older.. it will mean more to her than u can imagine...so I would roll with it.... | |
|
scrapsuzy
ScraPEA Suzy the Purr-ple Pea
PeaNut 67,643
February 2003
Posts: 16,148
Layouts: 77
Loc: Peachtree City, GA
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 9:37:51 PM
I also like what I-95 said. Plus, since her kids are little and it is Christmas Eve, they may not stay very long due to bedtimes. |
*******
Suzanne
| |
|
|
~Manda~
PeaAddict
PeaNut 257,561
April 2006
Posts: 1,287
Layouts: 0
Loc: la la land
| Posted: 12/6/2012 9:43:54 PM
I've been a holiday orphan as long as I can remember, spending it with many different friends' families over the years.
You did a good thing.  | |
|
Really Red
Pea-ceful and Hap-pea
PeaNut 24,951
November 2001
Posts: 8,175
Layouts: 1
| Posted: 12/6/2012 9:59:22 PM
Sounds like she was thrilled to be invited, and I can't think of a believable, polite, reason to uninvite her. I'd tell your family, in advance of the event 'Oh, BTW, I have invited the next door neighbor and her family to join us. They didn't have family to visit with on Christmas Eve so we wanted them to join us...you'll just love them, they have 3 delightful kids for <insert names of family kids> to play with'
Love this.
Three young kids? They won't be there very long and they will feel special you included them with your family. Really. |
Andrea
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller | |
|
|
TravelAgent
Resident Smart Ass
PeaNut 294,429
January 2007
Posts: 12,671
Layouts: 7
Loc: Indiana
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 10:04:32 PM
In our house, I've always made it clear that if you walk through the front door, that makes you family in my eyes. My mother always had a party for relatives on December 24, and all kinds of friends were included. When I was a teen, they moved the date up to the weekend before, when I'd already planned to go caroling with the youth group at our church. After we'd visited the last house, I just told every one to come to my place, and dumped 15 more "non-family" guests on my mom without warning.
She made more hot chocolate, and scooted out more chairs.
So with that background, I'd say if any of your family thinks the neighbors are intruders, it only shows how much they need to get their hearts in the right place. That's on them, not you.
Julie |
| www.indianapolisonthecheap.com | |
|
|
Belia
PeaAddict
PeaNut 503,375
March 2011
Posts: 1,033
Layouts: 3
 | Posted: 12/6/2012 11:11:47 PM
I want to go to one of your parties, Julie! Your post made me  | |
|
LovMelrose
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 66,686
February 2003
Posts: 5,975
Layouts: 0
Loc: Nebraska
| Posted: 12/6/2012 11:18:40 PM
I too agree with I-95 |
|
|
nicolequinn
Sick of Snow
PeaNut 41,352
June 2002
Posts: 5,846
Layouts: 0
Loc: Alaska
| Posted: 12/6/2012 11:20:07 PM
Things like this happen for a reason. |
|
|
AussieMeg
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 51,689
October 2002
Posts: 6,641
Layouts: 16
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
| Posted: 12/7/2012 4:40:59 AM
I agree with the very wise I-95, and would like to emphasize the point that you should NOT mention to your family that you invited the neighbor accidently, just in case someone mentions it to her. | |
|
BuckeyeSandy
Old Dogs are Best!
PeaNut 92,987
June 2003
Posts: 22,367
Layouts: 364
Loc: With my dogs
| Posted: 12/7/2012 6:51:19 AM
Another, it was for a reason. Enjoy their company, beyond your DH, don't say a word! |
Sandy
Every MOM is a working mom!
"Retired" after 22 years of an Air Force Career
REMEMBER this Veterans Day
To quote Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take."
Aesculus | |
|
|
S_cR_aP_Booker
PeaAddict
PeaNut 400,592
November 2008
Posts: 1,307
Layouts: 0
Loc: Mississippi
| Posted: 12/7/2012 6:58:16 AM
I agree with everyone else. I think it is a wonderful idea to include your neighbor. What better time than at Christmas to share fun and festivities? | |
|
Maryland
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 87,597
May 2003
Posts: 8,804
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/7/2012 6:59:01 AM
We always did things with neighbors and their families growning up. My friend across the street called my granny "granny" and my aunt peggy "aunt peggy". Friends and neighbors can be like family I say! Including her is wonderful! If I had family in the area, I would always have parties with friends, families and neighbors.
My good friend always includes both sides of the family and friends to her parties. We all have fun together.
Sounds like you did a good thing!
| |
|
scraps_of_time
AncestralPea
PeaNut 196,615
March 2005
Posts: 4,073
Layouts: 2
Loc: in front of my computer - where else would I be?
| Posted: 12/7/2012 7:04:18 AM
I think it's a good thing. We have included people who have nowhere else to go or no family in our celebrations for years. Mom started it and we have continued it. It's always a great time and our family welcomes everyone with open arms. |
|
|
Sue_Pea
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 36,163
April 2002
Posts: 9,863
Layouts: 5
Loc: here, there and everywhere
| Posted: 12/7/2012 7:06:47 AM
I agree with the very wise I-95, and would like to emphasize the point that you should NOT mention to your family that you invited the neighbor accidently, just in case someone mentions it to her.
This. You did a good thing, OP. | |
|
recap.pea
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 288,074
December 2006
Posts: 2,988
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/7/2012 7:16:35 AM
Since you invited them (accident or not), I would just let it stand . . . I am sure it will work out just fine by including them |
|
|
Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!
PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 23,525
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here
| Posted: 12/7/2012 7:51:04 AM
I think it will end up being a great evening and with little ones, they may wrap it up early anyway. |
Dog people are a special breed! | |
|
|
Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!
PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 23,525
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here
| Posted: 12/7/2012 8:06:29 AM
In our house, I've always made it clear that if you walk through the front door, that makes you family in my eyes. My mother always had a party for relatives on December 24, and all kinds of friends were included. When I was a teen, they moved the date up to the weekend before, when I'd already planned to go caroling with the youth group at our church. After we'd visited the last house, I just told every one to come to my place, and dumped 15 more "non-family" guests on my mom without warning.
She made more hot chocolate, and scooted out more chairs.
So with that background, I'd say if any of your family thinks the neighbors are intruders, it only shows how much they need to get their hearts in the right place. That's on them, not you.
OMG! I Julie! |
Dog people are a special breed! | |
|
|
*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)
PeaNut 163,613
August 2004
Posts: 68,304
Layouts: 236
Loc: *Sunny Southern California*
| Posted: 12/7/2012 8:21:27 AM
You'll end up happy you invited them. Maybe you could add a few more good friends.
Maybe it's time for a change.
While growing up we always went to a Christmas eve party at a friends home. It was wonderful. Everyone had a great time, friends and family alike.
|
|
|
gritzi
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 275,594
September 2006
Posts: 2,980
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/7/2012 8:32:28 AM
We're holiday orphans and are always so thankful when a friend invites and includes us for their Thanksgiving Day family gathering. The extended family treats us as family as well.
Our Christmas would be orphaned as well if my mother-in-law worked on Christmas Eve. I have no relatives nearby and MIL is the only one on my husband's side. On Christmas Day it's only the 4 of us.
| |
|
*Fresca*
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 204,709
May 2005
Posts: 2,717
Layouts: 0
Loc: Northern Illinois
| Posted: 12/7/2012 8:34:30 AM
Love the update! |
*Debbie*
*****Today I will be happy as a bird with a frenchfry***** | |
|
|
Pridemom
Pride of the Peas
PeaNut 25,575
December 2001
Posts: 19,083
Layouts: 45
Loc: Stuck in the Middle With You
| Posted: 12/7/2012 9:02:45 AM
One of the best updates ever! Good for you and I wish your family a wonderful Christmas. |
Proud Wife and Mom to four big goons!
I cannot be old enough to have three teens and a tween.
God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially formed you to
go through it, not without pain but without stain.
-- C. S. Lewis
| |
|
|
writermom1
Thrift Whisperer
PeaNut 114,407
November 2003
Posts: 22,312
Layouts: 66
Loc: At the intersection of Hooterville and Stars Hollow
| Posted: 12/7/2012 9:08:05 AM
Update.
I like your style! |
|
|
revirdsuba
Wise~old Pea
PeaNut 17,460
June 2001
Posts: 22,118
Layouts: 94
Loc: Central NJ
| Posted: 12/7/2012 9:30:36 AM
Great update! There really are many holiday 'orphans' around. Over the years our society has become so spread out from family. | |
|
SueSume
AncestralPea
PeaNut 262,757
May 2006
Posts: 4,596
Layouts: 5
Loc: Big Bottom Valley
| Posted: 12/7/2012 9:37:18 AM
I love your spirit!
May you have the best party EVER. |
Sue Who? SueASume, SueSume, who cares?
Reality is made up of words.-Ferdinando Buscema
Words are hard.-Hannah Kelly
NSBR: "We're like a big damn disfunctional family. We'll beat the crap out of each other, and it's ok, but dammit, if an outsider turns on one of ours, we circle the wagons." -Free~Bird
Used with permission & with 9% royality fee paid annually. Starting next year. Honest | |
|
|
TravelAgent
Resident Smart Ass
PeaNut 294,429
January 2007
Posts: 12,671
Layouts: 7
Loc: Indiana
| Posted: 12/7/2012 11:55:46 AM
You have the foundation for a wonderful Christmas party. Enjoy the moments!
Julie |
| www.indianapolisonthecheap.com | |
|
|
alisatj
PeaFixture
PeaNut 129,041
February 2004
Posts: 3,653
Layouts: 62
Loc: MD
| Posted: 12/7/2012 12:47:51 PM
Is there a gift exchange done that night? That's the only issue I could possibly see...
If there is, it would be nice if you could ask some of your closer family members to also bring something small for the neighbor's kids. I'm assuming you'd already supply gifts for them yourself . | |
|
BuckeyeSandy
Old Dogs are Best!
PeaNut 92,987
June 2003
Posts: 22,367
Layouts: 364
Loc: With my dogs
| Posted: 12/9/2012 11:26:46 AM
I think we may have a Pea thread for the books: the consensus is unanimous!
It happens, very glad that we all could help you out |
Sandy
Every MOM is a working mom!
"Retired" after 22 years of an Air Force Career
REMEMBER this Veterans Day
To quote Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take."
Aesculus | |
|
|
