Tell me it's okay to not have a guest room.

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Posted 1/13/2013 by Jen in NCal in NSBR Board
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Jen in NCal
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:27:28 PM
DH and I live in a four-bedroom house with no kids. Not now, not ever. We currently share an office, have an exercise room, and a guest bedroom. The guest bedroom is used maybe once a year, more like once every other year. The only people who have stayed in it in the last 5 years are my parents.

I want to get rid of the guest bed and make it a craft room. We could still get a pull-out couch, but I don't think there is room to actually pull it out.

Am I a horrible person for repurposing the room? My parents would then have to stay at a hotel on the rare, rare visits when they usually only stay one or two nights.


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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:28:44 PM
You do not need a guest room!


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OKtrae
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:30:09 PM
DH and I didn't have a guest room before DD. we each had an office and an exercise room too. DD got the exercise room. We each still have "offices" though they're mainly used for video games and sewing/crafting.


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BergdorfBlonde
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:31:55 PM
What about a GOOD pull-out couch in the livingroom?? We have a guest room here that we love! Actually, we sleep in there occasionally when I'm too lazy to finish changing the sheets in our master bedroom. I feel like we're away on vacation when we're sleeping in the guest room. We rarely have guests in there and I guess it is a waste of space, but it's such a cozy room (I call it the "ocean room" because I decorated it in a beach theme) and DH has his whole jewelry making set-up in there too (desk and all). It all fits.









Captain K
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:32:10 PM
It is okay to get rid of the guest bedroom, but I think it is kind of... odd... that in a four bedroom house with just a married couple you wouldn't be able to make room for your parents to stay. I don't think it's great to ask them to stay in a hotel when you have that big of a house.

I would definitely re-purpose the room but would find a way to have a Murphy bed, a nice fold out, or a very high-quality air mattress. Even if it had to go in the living room or meant moving around a bit of furniture in the craft room or a different room when they come to visit.

I just can't imagine having a four bedroom house, only you and your DH living there, and asking a guest to get a hotel.

dynalady
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:32:10 PM
Its perfectly okay to not have a guest room. I would guess most people don't.







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nighthawk
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:36:32 PM
Make yourself a craft room, you could always get a murphy bed for your excercise room or a pull out couch. You could even use your craft room as a guest room when they stay.

My parents live out of state, I really do want them to stay here when they are here but I don't have a dedicated guest room. I move stuff around my craft room and get out an air matress.

We will have a better set up when we finish our basement but right now the bathroom in there isn't usable.


Deena714
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:37:50 PM
I think it's totally fine not to have one. Your house should fit your needs.

I do think it would be nice to have some sort of guest area though. It is so nice to give people their own area when they visit.

My dh and I live in a three bedroom house. We have only occasional guests, but the guest room is very nice for me when his snoring is out of control!


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WinoGirl
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:39:52 PM
It's okay! Turn it into a craft room.

I'd rather pay for my parent's hotel stay than have an entire room of my home sitting unused but for maybe once a year, if that. That's a waste of good space when you have an idea to put it to better use.

meshelley
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:39:53 PM
You don't need a quest room if you don't use it! No need to maintain a room you arn't using. Think about it this way - a certain amount of your mortgage each month goes to pay for that room, and if it's allocated to a purpose that you arn't using, that is wasted money.

DH and I are in a similar situation - just the 2 of us, no kids ever. We have a 2 bedroom condo. Plenty of room for the 2 of us. We use the second bedroom as an office. When we do have guests we have one of the nice, tall, inflatable mattresses and with a little work there is enough room in the office for it (we move a big chair that is usually in there to the living room which actually helps with additional seating). We just add noce linens and pillows and it works great. When we arn't using it the mattresses folds up nicely into a big and is stored in the office closet.

We have thought many times over about having a real guest room, even considered moving to a larger condo for a dedicated guest room. But, in the end it dosn't make sense. We probably have over night guest 15 - 20 nights a year. Why dedicate a room to something that will serve no purpose 350 days a year?

styxgirl
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:42:07 PM
I would combine the exercise room and the guest room. Then your husband can have his own office and you can have your own office/ craft room.

In the exercise room you could have a pull out sofa that way when you don't have guests you can use it as a functional room that is only a guest room when you need it to be.


Nicole

mdoc
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:48:04 PM
It's OK to not have a guest room, especially if you rarely have guests. We don't technically have a guest room, but we can scare up a place to put guests so they don't need to stay in a hotel. If guests are willing to sleep on a sofa bed or an air mattress, we can certainly accommodate them even without a dedicated guest room.

benem
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:49:39 PM
I've never had a guest room. I think it's ok.


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lucyg819
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:50:14 PM

I would combine the exercise room and the guest room. Then your husband can have his own office and you can have your own office/ craft room.

In the exercise room you could have a pull out sofa that way when you don't have guests you can use it as a functional room that is only a guest room when you need it to be.

This was going to be my suggestion.

It's hard for me to say this but I agree with Captain K. It seems very, very unwelcoming to have two people living in a four-bedroom house and still not be able to make space for the occasional houseguest.


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SMayer
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:53:01 PM
You do not need a guest room. In my experience as a guest, I would rather stay at a hotel and travel to your house for visiting and/or meals.

DH and I have a three bedroom house, no kids. We have our room, an exercise room, and a scrappy room. The scrappy room has a oversize chair that pulls out into a twin sized bed. Only two people have ever stayed with us, and they were here for a scrappy weekend I hosted. One slept in the scrappy room and the other slept on a aerobed in the exercise room.

meridon
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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:55:13 PM
No guest room here either, but we have 3 kids in a 4 BR house, so there's no room. When we have guests, they either sleep on the couch or sleep on an air mattress in the playroom. We have people stay 3-4 times a year but never more than two nights at a time. I'd think if it doesn't get used, then why pay for it? I'm thinking you can find space elsewhere if you absolutely need to accomodate guests.
I also have my own craft space in what's supposed to be the dining room because we never entertain formally.


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Posted: 1/13/2013 8:57:06 PM
I gotta agree with capatin K..I mean...you have 4 bedroms? but sorry Mom and dad..we got rid of your room, and you now have to stay in a hotel? WTF? Talk about rude! Plus as people get older, they can't afford hotel rooms. I think you can somehow repurpose it so that the ex room can also become a craft room, or split it up somehow with the office. I mean..it's just odd that a single couple with no kids..has 4 bedrooms, and no room for company.






AKathy
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:04:25 PM
We had a three bedroom house with two kids for most of our married lives. It worked fine. We rarely had overnight guests. I have a guest room now but I have overnight guests quite often and my grandsons use it a lot too. I think it's perfectly fine not to have one, especially if you rarely need one.


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Simply_Lovely
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:04:35 PM
Nobody needs an entire guest room. Just put a futon in one of the extra rooms you have and voila! I mean everyone has space for a futon, no?




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angievp
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:09:13 PM
The sky is falling...I'm agreeing with Captain K on this one. In this case, I think it's well....incredibly unwelcoming of you NOT to have space for your guests...especially so if they are your parents.

A futon..well, I wouldn't put an elder in a futon. I'd rather give them my bed first.

Maryland
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:09:19 PM
It's your house so you and your husband get to do whatever you want with the room. It's a waste to have a room that you never use. You could always use and air mattress when you have guests. If your parents are older, you could always let them have your bed the one or two nights they are there and you and husband could always use an air mattress, sleeping bags or sleep on the sofa.

Enjoy your craft room!


Crack-a-lackin
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:19:24 PM
I'm surprised so many people think you should have a guest room/area that will only be used a couple of nights a year if that. Seems a waste to me. However, a murphy bed would be nice if you can swing it.


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Captain K
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:22:30 PM

I'm surprised so many people think you should have a guest room/area that will only be used a couple of nights a year if that. Seems a waste to me. However, a murphy bed would be nice if you can swing it.


I don't think most people are saying they should have a dedicated guest room. I think most people are saying that in a 4 bedroom house with only a married couple there, they should be able to find some space to accommodate their parents as guests. It doesn't have to be a dedicated room, but some sort of arrangement should certainly be possible in a 4 bedroom home so that when guests do come, a few things could be pushed out of the way and a bed folded out/down.

The OP jumped straight from guest room to putting them in a hotel. There is a happy medium where they can host their parents but also use the room for a different purpose most of the year.

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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:23:36 PM
It is OK not to have a guest room. I never did. BUT, that said, I had a very comfortable couch in the living room that pulled out into a very comfortable bed. I know because I did sleep on it a few times and it was imperative to me that it was comfortable after some of the horrible ones I slept on!

The middle bedroom was my craft room and the smallest bedroom was my DHs office with a little couch that made a comfortable double bed. I had a double mattress rolled up in a closet for kids to sleep on the floor. In both our families, you didn't let family go stay in a motel. My in-laws could well afford a motel but they would have been insulted to be expected to spend the night elsewhere. My mother is a cheapskate and would have been even MORE insulted.

I've always thought a day bed with another bed underneath that rose up to make one bed would be a very good alternative.

Unless you have a ton of exercise equipment, could that be the room that has a couch or bed for guests?


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Oliquig
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:28:13 PM
I don't think you need to keep your guest room, but I would invest in a top quality double height air mattress instead of insisting on a hotel. Things can be moved in the craft room or exercise room since it's only once a year or so.


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caz hancock
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:29:14 PM
We built this house 3 years ago with a guestroom/bathroom etc and have had the inlaws stay once LOL that said all our family is in the UK and we are in NZ

I have thought about doing away with it, but i also like having that room for if i am sick, or if the husband is snoring, or it is too hot at night.

We have just build an extension for a new scraproom/family room as we want the room i am currently in for my gym equipment that is currently in the garage unused.

I say do what you want, but i would also feel bad making them stay in a hotel also i love late night chats when family stay etc, it will just be so formal at a hotel. I would say get a good airbed where you and the husband could sleep in one of the offices etc when they are here and give them your bed? We did this before in a previous house.


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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:29:31 PM
My husband and I have lived in houses where we did not have a guest room and we offered or master bedroom to my Mom and Dad, doubled up the children in a room and took one of their rooms.

When we had our DD and new husband visit, we had a bed in DH's office, so we took the office and set our master bedroom up for them.

For me it would be a win-win to accommodate my parents when they visit and use a pull out for DH and myself once every year or two.


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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:29:42 PM
Do you have a place to store a bed frame,
mattress and box spring? You can put up the bed in your craft room whenever your parents come to visit. This way you have a craft room and spare bed for your guests. You get the best of both worlds.


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crimsoncat05
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:33:42 PM
we don't have a guest room, either!

We hardly ever have guests (all our family lives on the other side of the country), and we have the pet-sitter stay over, maybe, once or twice a year. I have a craft room, my BF has a music room, and we have an office where the desktop computer lives. When the pet-sitter stays over, she sleeps on the pull-out couch (which is NOT in my craft room, by the way).

I see no need to waste space for a bona-fide guest room if you don't need it-- I say, utilize the space in a way that makes the most sense for you.

ETA: those full-height air mattress beds are pretty comfortable, actually. I would think one of those would be fine for the odd occasion when you do have guests.



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megmc
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:34:57 PM
Do what you want, unless your guests are paying part of your mortgage.


People have 4 bedroom homes because they are easier to sell or they live in a neighborhood that it is a requirement to have so much square footage.


melanell
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Posted: 1/13/2013 9:49:05 PM
Is the guest room the largest of the 3 extra bedrooms?

If not, could things be moved around so that the largest room can serve double duty as a guest room and one other thing? And let the "one other thing" be the thing that either takes up the least room or is something you could both live without during the rare times a guest is over?


If at all possible, that is what I would try to do.


I would try to keep a comfortable guest space but still use the room primarily for what I would use regularly.


Do the bedrooms all have closets? I've seen gorgeous things done with closets to make them into office or crafting spaces. I'm not saying you should use only the closet, but that by using the closet and a small amount of the room, you may be able to leave an actual bed in a room somewhere.



h*pea*ing
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Posted: 1/13/2013 10:13:44 PM
Your house and you can do what you want with it. I personally would never not have somewhere for guests to stay. All my family lives out of state and visits probably every other month or so for 3 or so days.



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peapermint
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Posted: 1/13/2013 10:16:37 PM
You don't need a guest room! Have fun in your new craft room.

Our house is two bedrooms, 912sf, with the three of us and we've had as many as five guests at a time. We're all over the floor, couch, etc. It's kind of like college -- just a different perspective.

We travel to visit family a lot and we're lucky if we get an air mattress in the living room. Usually it's the couch or (ouch; I'm getting old!) a sleeping bag on the floor.

mamashosh
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Posted: 1/13/2013 10:21:44 PM
We kept a guest room as long as we had elderly moms alive who visited, even occasionally. Now that both our moms are gone, that guest room is going to become my craft room.

We have a blow up mattress that our friends could use in the study or the craft room if anyone came to visit--which is extremely infrequent now, maybe once every two years (we used to have more friends come too). The plan is to eventually replace ds's bed with a double, so as our friends age and become more uncomfortable on the blow up, we can put him on the blow up and give the guests his room.

Yeah, no need to keep a dedicated guest room but it seems like you ought to be able to fit a pull out couch into a four bedroom house with two people living there. Seems pretty cold to send them to a hotel.



IleneTell
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Posted: 1/13/2013 10:23:47 PM
I would use the room as my craft room, and add a pull out sofa. That way I can also sit and relax there, and read or look though magazines, etc. And when guests come, just pull out the sofa and it becomes a guest room. No need for hotels, and no need to waste the space.



papersilly
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Posted: 1/13/2013 10:27:42 PM
Dh and I have a 3 bedroom, no kids and no guest room....on purpose. It's nice.



lovetodigi
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Posted: 1/13/2013 10:43:30 PM
When we still had kids at home, and did not have a guest room, we would offer our master bedroom to the guest and we slept on the sofa bed. It had a queen size interspersing mattress, so it was not to bad. Whenever we do have guest, we try to make them feel at home and would never expect our parents to go to a hotel or sleep on an uncomfortable bed. I figured that we could sacrifice for a few days every now and then. Now it is not an issue. We have two guest rooms on the main floor, plus an office,an exercise room and a craft room upstairs. If we have a lot of guest we can still make space for everyone. Maybe you could offer your master bedroom to your parents and you and DH could get a futon, or nice air mattress that you can sleep on, during the rare times that your parents visit.




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doesitmatter?
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Posted: 1/13/2013 10:52:50 PM
it's ok.


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Jen in NCal
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Posted: 1/13/2013 10:56:21 PM
Thanks for all the feedback.

It's hard for me to say this but I agree with Captain K. It seems very, very unwelcoming to have two people living in a four-bedroom house and still not be able to make space for the occasional houseguest.
It's hard for me to agree, but this is where I'm struggling. And why it hasn't happened yet. And why I brought the question here. If it was an easy decision, it would be done by now.


I mean...you have 4 bedroms? but sorry Mom and dad..we got rid of your room, and you now have to stay in a hotel? WTF? Talk about rude! Plus as people get older, they can't afford hotel rooms. [/quote} And you want to talk about rude!! Believe me, one thing my parents will never have to worry about is money. They much prefer to stay in places much, much nicer than my home. But it's not convenient. We don't live near any nice ones. Usually when they come they spend a few nights in San Francisco and then come out our way for a few nights.

The OP jumped straight from guest room to putting them in a hotel. There is a happy medium where they can host their parents but also use the room for a different purpose most of the year.
The OP has a name. It's even in my Pea Name. I don't hide behind an alias. Sorry, but that is one of my buttons on this board.

Anyway, it may have appeared that I jumped from one to the other, this is something I have been pondering over for about 6 months. I know it seems like in a four-bedroom house there must be somewhere, but the rooms are really awkward. It's kind of surprising. The guest room used to house the elliptical, but it was way too crowded. We moved the elliptical into the larger of the other rooms. There still isn't room for a bed in there. The guest bedroom currently has a queen bed in it. There is barely room to walk around it. At one time the larger room was my craft room, and even then, there wouldn't have been room for a bed.

My parents have made numerous comments about how much they dislike staying in queen size beds. That is the age issue for them. My dad needs more space for his bad shoulders and knees. And the eleventy billion pillows he likes to have.

Others have suggested a fold-out in the living room. That would never fly as both my parents sleep in the nude. Ick, not a slide I want in my projector.

We've already moved the elliptical once, but it is worth looking into switching the two rooms again. That room is longer and might be better suited to serve two functions, especially with a couch. I suggested knocking out the wall between the study and the exercise room, but that still leaves a room that isn't used. The only wall in the exercise room that could house a fold-out is under the tv and that doesn't work in earthquake territory. I had a picture fall into my crib and shatter when I was 6 weeks old and my mom has had understandable issues with things above the bed ever since.

Thanks again for all the suggestions. I'll keep checking back.


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avillarreal140
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Posted: 1/13/2013 10:57:50 PM
We dont have a guest room!
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IleneTell
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Posted: 1/13/2013 11:00:59 PM

My parents have made numerous comments about how much they dislike staying in queen size beds.


Maybe they would then prefer and be perfectly happy to stay in a hotel?



starr1968
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Posted: 1/13/2013 11:04:01 PM
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starr1968
Just one more post!

PeaNut 530,232
November 2011
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Posted: 1/13/2013 11:04:06 PM
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MikeWozowski
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 174,400
October 2004
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Posted: 1/13/2013 11:14:26 PM
it is your house. use it how you see fit.

i can't imagine your parents would expect you to keep a guest room for them to visit a day or two every year or two.

they can either stay in a motel, or you can make space for them somewhere if they come.

no way you should dedicate 10% (or whatever of your house and mortgage to wasted space.

*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)

PeaNut 163,613
August 2004
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Loc: *Sunny Southern California*

Posted: 1/13/2013 11:16:19 PM
Oh, it is so totally okay to not have a guest room.
I'm beyond happy that we don't have one anymore since it's DGDs room now

I don't like house guests and I don't like to be a house guest.
I'm all for entertaining. Just not staying.


Bethie
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voltagain
OklaPhoma

PeaNut 18,334
July 2001
Posts: 38,143
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Loc: State of cultural confusion. Yeehaw and Aloha have collided!

Posted: 1/13/2013 11:44:09 PM
That is the age issue for them. My dad needs more space for his bad shoulders and knees
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Given they only visit once a year or less... how many more visits do you think are realistic in their life times? My parents are in their 70s. This year has been a turning point health wise for them. I can foresee that their ability to travel and visit me is coming to a fairly swift end; 5 years max and 3 years more likely. Either I will be doing all the traveling to see them or they will be living with me full time.

With your dad's bad shoulders and knees they are likely to also be traveling even less in the future and you aren't able to accommodate them in a manner that is comfortable to them now, even with a dedicated guest room. It sounds like a guest room in your house is already to the point of not being serviceable for their comfort.

I'd take that as the cue to do with the space as I want to use it, or do a major remodel (knock down walls and rearrange the space) if it is in the budget and the rooms are next to each other so it can be done.


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PeaNut 393,905
October 2008
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Loc: Illinois

Posted: 1/14/2013 1:12:56 AM
I don't think you're wrong at all in doing away with the guest room. As others have said, it isn't being used most of the time.

I'll go a step further and say that I wouldn't feel bad having guests stay at a hotel, either.

When we lived out of state my parents would visit several times each year. They started staying with us and then went to staying with us for a few nights and a hotel a few nights and then to a hotel for the entire stay.

My BFF lives in a different state now and we went to staying hotels when we visit them as well. When we did stay at their house her kids got on my nerves and the bickering between her and her dh got on my nerves.
When they come here to visit they always stay in a hotel, but they also have several people the visit here it isn't just us.

I have another friend who lives several hours away and we've only gone once for an overnight visit and stayed at their house. We had a great visit but we are on totally different schedules! They stay up till 1 or 2 am and sleep until noon. My kids are ready for by 9 at the latest and are up around 7.
The next time we go there we will stay in a hotel.

I don't like people being in "my space" and Im uncomfortable being in other peoples' space, so a hotel is great in my book!



writermom1
Thrift Whisperer

PeaNut 114,407
November 2003
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Loc: At the intersection of Hooterville and Stars Hollow

Posted: 1/14/2013 1:46:14 AM
I have never lived in a home with a guest room.



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lucyg819
pearl-clutching nitpicker

PeaNut 201,774
April 2005
Posts: 16,721
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Loc: gone to chemo with BethAnne

Posted: 1/14/2013 2:17:26 AM
Obviously, if it appears your parents would prefer to stay in a hotel rather than at your home, then there really isn't any need to have a place for them to stay with you.

I still think it's a little strange not to have SOME place in your home for a guest to crash, if need be. It doesn't have to be a dedicated guest room. But if there were a family emergency and someone needed to stay with you, or your college roommate was in town for a couple of days, or a dinner guest had too much to drink and needed to stay the night ... nothing?? really?


LUCYG
northern california

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."
--Bertrand Russell



omarakbt
AncestralPea

PeaNut 302,707
March 2007
Posts: 4,922
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Loc: california

Posted: 1/14/2013 2:47:23 AM
What I did in my guest room/mulitpurpose room was put in a wall bed. I arranged the rooms so that with a minimum of shifting I can bring down the queen sized bed. Works well for us


Diane
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