I'm scared & I've got my pouty pants on
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 1/21/2013 by justusscrapper in NSBR Board
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PeaNut 192,894
February 2005
Posts: 1,853
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Loc: Minnesota

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:26:34 PM
2 weeks ago we thought everything was finally moving ahead with my stem cell transplant (I have leukemia) but on the final day of testing, the doctor told me my cancer was back AGAIN. It was at 0.2% in November when we stopped the transplant and did re-induction chemo over Thanksgiving. It took me until New Years to recover enough to go through testing and now we find out I'm at 10% cancer cells. Either the cancer is very agressive, or the chemo never worked.

The doctors didn't know what to do with me, do more chemo which doesn't seem to work or move ahead with the transplant. They have decided to do another bone marrow biopsy to check the status of my cancer - see how much it's increased in the last two weeks. The dr said if we do nothing, I've got less than two months to live.

I'm having a pity party today. I'm all alone at home and not feeling well. I've been getting more and more tired, out of breath and lightheaded. When I don't feel good, I'm so crabby and my poor family is catching the most of it. I can't even walk my 3 yr old to bed upstairs right now. My awesome friends did this amazing benefit for me this past weekend, and I didn't even feel well enough to walk around to see everyone. I'm basically feeling very helpless.

If you have a spare prayer, please say one for my bone marrow biopsy to go well tomorrow. We will meet with the drs on Wed to get the results and decide on the next step.


PeaNut 224,660
September 2005
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Loc: Utah

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:29:38 PM
I'm so sorry that you're going through this! I will keep you in my prayers for sure! ((hugs))


Nikon D90


PeaNut 5,085
June 2000
Posts: 925
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:30:13 PM
I am so sorry and pray you find an effective treatment soon.

The Banana Under the Couch Pea

PeaNut 295,941
February 2007
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Loc: Somewhere over the rainbow...

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:30:15 PM
Pity part and pouty pants are absolutely allowed in your situation. I am so, so sorry for what you are going through.

I hope tomorrow is a little brighter and that your doctors come up with a successful method of treatment for you.

My thoughts are with you.

Loving Life

PeaNut 142,378
April 2004
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Loc: Why do you want to know?

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:31:03 PM
you are definitely in my thoughts. I've been wondering how things were going for you. I'm sorry that you are receiving such distressing news. hugs.


**Live your dreams, not your fears**

Why, YES!, I am a princess.

PeaNut 417,049
March 2009
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:33:04 PM
Have you spoke with your medical team about clinical trials?

I hope you get positive news soon.

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 289,166
December 2006
Posts: 19,329
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Loc: Southern California

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:37:53 PM
Wow, I'm so sorry to read your update. I hope they can find something to help you. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. You are definitely entitled to your feelings.

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 75,215
March 2003
Posts: 7,413
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Loc: massachusetts

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:38:03 PM
Oh my gosh. If anyone deserves a bit of a pout...

I'm thinking healing thoughts for you. I hope they can come up with an effective treatment for you. And I hope you can feel comfortable while they're doing it.

Many prayers and hugs for you.

black eyed pea with soul!

PeaNut 15,878
May 2001
Posts: 25,898
Layouts: 71
Loc: LI, NY

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:40:12 PM
I stopped and said a prayer. I pray that everything works out positively for you.

original pea number #3450
This Black Butterfly


PeaNut 112,841
October 2003
Posts: 512
Layouts: 32
Loc: Canada

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:40:26 PM
I am so sorry You enjoy the comfort of those pouty pants today and know that the power of the peas are on your side


PeaNut 544,018
February 2012
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:40:29 PM
Prayers for you!

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

*Stop the glorification of busy*

Seems a pity to miss such a good pudding.

PeaNut 247,139
February 2006
Posts: 18,872
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Loc: Spokane, WA

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:43:09 PM
Positive thoughts and prayers for a good result on your biopsy. Hugs for you, I can't imagine going through what you are and having small children. I would be terrified and my pouty pants would be very roomy


Wise~old Pea

PeaNut 17,460
June 2001
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Loc: Central NJ

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:43:35 PM
You've been through a lot. It is ok to have a pity party and a pouty day. Tomorrow is a new day and time for you to kick some butt!



PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
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Loc: England UK

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:44:49 PM
I don't blame you one bit for feeling pouty! I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time and I really hope you get a breakthrough soon. I send you my very best wishes.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

Stephen Roberts


PeaNut 409,118
January 2009
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Loc: NC

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:45:55 PM
Prayers lifted

Wise~old Pea

PeaNut 17,460
June 2001
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Loc: Central NJ

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:46:33 PM
You've been through a lot. It is ok to have a pity party and a pouty day. Tomorrow is a new day and time for you to kick some butt!


Nicole in TX
The Peas did what we do and went insane over it

PeaNut 16,696
June 2001
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Loc: Not so obvious

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:46:42 PM
I stopped and said a prayer for you, too. Chemo is exhausting when it goes well. I am so sorry. Big hugs and best wishes that you doctors find the best treatment plan for you.


PeaNut 489,418
November 2010
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:46:50 PM
Prayers coming your way .

Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy

PeaNut 178,445
November 2004
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Loc: Northern California

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:46:54 PM
Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.


"I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me!"


PeaNut 244,947
January 2006
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:47:38 PM
I'm praying that you have good results from your bone marrow and the doctors find an effective treatment course for you.


Shih Tzu Mommy
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PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:52:16 PM
I hope you get good news very soon! This must be exhausting and scary for you!

Dog people are a special breed!

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 260,865
May 2006
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Loc: Northeast

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:54:43 PM
I am definitely sending good thoughts your way! I think you have every right to wear your pouty pants. I really, really hope you get good news!


Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

It's all just nonsense anyway!

PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
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Loc: California, NY & Orlando

Posted: 1/21/2013 3:56:35 PM
I'd be doing more than pouting! I can't even imagine how frustrating and depressing this news must have been. I will fill the Universe with positive healing thoughts and hope the next round of tests has more positive news. I'm so sorry.

Nothing could be finer than to live in Carolina!

PeaNut 113,629
October 2003
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:57:15 PM
Sending my prayers,hugs and good thoughts.

My Pearl

~ I hope to live in North Carolina someday to be near my family. ~


PeaNut 370,270
April 2008
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Posted: 1/21/2013 3:59:16 PM
You are allowed to have your pouty pants on! I'm sending you positive thoughts and good vibes.

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 181,836
December 2004
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Loc: YouSeeDavis

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:00:59 PM
I am so sorry. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. I know I'd probably be doing more than pouting. I will keep you in my thoughts.


PeaNut 397,621
October 2008
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:02:23 PM
Prayers and positive thoughts in abundance!

Sooner Babe!

PeaNut 271,223
August 2006
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Loc: Anywhere my Sooner boys are!

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:02:37 PM
I just stopped and said a prayer for you also....prayers for wisdom for the doctors and healing for you....


Pea Who Should Be Cleaning!

PeaNut 145,006
May 2004
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Loc: at home in front of the computer

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:04:33 PM
Sending you positive thoughts and my best wishes... ((hugs))

Will trade mosquitoes for cookies.

PeaNut 416,788
March 2009
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:04:46 PM
There are no words to tell you how sorry I am you are going through this. {{{hugs}}}

If PC is the way to get to Heaven, I'm going straight to Hell.


PeaNut 84,074
April 2003
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Loc: Ponca City, OK

Count: 1
Posted: 1/21/2013 4:07:07 PM
I'm so so sorry! Thinking about you and praying that all goes well. ((((HUGS)))

Blog: http://jensodowsky.typepad.com
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PeaNut 12,664
March 2001
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Loc: Central Kentucky

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:08:11 PM
Praying for you!!

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PeaNut 219,082
August 2005
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Loc: Wild Wonderful WV

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:10:08 PM
I'm sorry. Prayers being said.


pynk E

PeaNut 48,314
September 2002
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:14:03 PM
Prayers lifted (((hugs)))

Sick of Snow

PeaNut 41,352
June 2002
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Layouts: 0
Loc: Canada

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:14:23 PM
You have been so amazing and strong through this awful hand you've been dealt.
I will pray for you and the team of doctors so they can find a cure.

I can not imagine the thoughts that take over your mind when you are alone.
Having small children to mother and wanting to be there for them... but knowing your body is fighting something so awful.

I am so, so sorry.
May blessings of healing be just around the corner for you.

Dancing to the end of love.

PeaNut 8,446
December 2000
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Loc: Newport News, VA

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:16:37 PM
That is just so much to carry on your shoulders. I hope it helps a little to come here and let it all out. I pray with all my heart that your doctors will be given wisdom and that you will be given healing.

My aunt was diagnosed last year with Stage 4 breast cancer that had spread to her bones. Last week she was told that her cancer is in remission and they can't find any cancer in her bones. Miracles DO happen, and doctors don't know everything! God bless you and your family, sweetie. Wish I could give you a real life hug!


Thread Killer Extraordinaire

PeaNut 29,166
February 2002
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:20:48 PM
Continued prayers. Pout away! We are here to listen.



PeaNut 197,450
March 2005
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Loc: Epicenter of Awesome

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:22:34 PM
I am so sorry you are going through this. You are more than allowed to have your pouty pants on. Sending positive thoughts that you get good news from your biopsy.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain
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PeaNut 428,374
June 2009
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Loc: Greater London

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:26:24 PM
I will pray for you.i am sure that your doctors will be conferencing with other specialist to find the very best treatment for you- I am sure that your situation is far from unique and a regime can be found to knock this on the head. God bless you. Have your down day today, tomorrow wake up and come back fighting!

It's not the passage of time that heals. It's what you do with that time.

Getting blonder every day

PeaNut 162,956
August 2004
Posts: 10,688
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Loc: LI girl, livin' in the gulf

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:27:10 PM
Prayers to you. You deserve to pout all you want!! Don't feel badly about letting friends/family help you out right now. I'm sure that as soon as you have strength, you'd be doing everything yourself. Everyone knows that. Let them help.

Praying that your medical team comes up with a quick plan of action so that you could begin healing. I'm so sorry you're going through this.


PeaNut 97,528
July 2003
Posts: 1,086
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Loc: Oregon

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:27:12 PM
Prayers - I'm so sorry.

Bad Wolf

PeaNut 191,892
February 2005
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Loc: Wheaton

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:28:58 PM
I'm so sorry, good thoughts coming your way!

Ms. Liz
Practically Perfect in Every Way

PeaNut 199,404
April 2005
Posts: 7,268
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Loc: deep in the hundred acre woods

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:31:15 PM

...and more prayers

I eat my peas with honey. I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny, But it keeps them on the knife.

Early Morning Pea-er

PeaNut 16,129
June 2001
Posts: 8,297
Layouts: 26
Loc: Northern Wisconsin

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:31:28 PM
I'm so so sorry you're suffering like this. I will say a prayer for you and hope for the miracle of healing! I hope you always feel you can come here and vent and share.


PeaNut 269,155
July 2006
Posts: 905
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:31:50 PM
I am sorry to hear your lastest news! Praying for healing, comfort and direction in your treatment! (((Hugs)))


PeaNut 142,661
April 2004
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:32:54 PM
Hugs and prayers for you.


PeaNut 134,862
March 2004
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Posted: 1/21/2013 4:33:36 PM
Prayers being sent for good results.

mum to 2 hockey crazy kids

froggy one

PeaNut 479,242
August 2010
Posts: 2,330
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Loc: In my own mind

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:35:39 PM
You have my thoughts and prayers. Sending hugs too. You have every right to be scared and pouty. I will be thinking of you.



PeaNut 11,212
February 2001
Posts: 3,483
Layouts: 94

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:36:08 PM
Oh no!!! You have been so incredibly brave through this, you have the right to be anything you feel like being. You have my prayers, as well as prayers for your doctors, caregivers and family. God Bless you in this stressful time.


Granny's Score: Boys 5 ~ Girls 2

And yes, with my background, my opinion is worth more than that of a middle school teacher who can't get her facts straight.~ Batya

Is this an instrument of torture or communication?

PeaNut 1,583
October 1999
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Loc: Long Island

Posted: 1/21/2013 4:38:18 PM
sending you lots of prayers and healing thoughts.

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