| |
ashazamm
BucketHead
PeaNut 217,769
August 2005
Posts: 571
Layouts: 18
Loc: NY
 |  Posted: 2/5/2013 5:25:56 PM
I have hope, I really do but sometimes I feel such anxiety about it.
My kids were never good eaters, even as babies. Texture threw my son off. Something about textures made it hard to get past pureed food into chunkier food and it went downhill from there. Everything had to be dry, crunchy or smooth. He's eight now and he's very limited to what he'll eat. The only raw food he'll eat is apple. But reluctantly.
My nephew (he's 12) is the exact same way.
My daughter just never ate much. I tried and tried with her but she wouldn't eat until she was 12 months! She wasn't thrown by textures like my son, she was a little more adventurous. As she got older (she's six), she became pickier and limited to what she'll eat. The only raw food she'll eat is carrots. She gets bored with them when they are in her lunch daily so eventually stops eating them. I stop for a while then start up again.
I don't make a big deal about it because I think they'll resist all the more. I'm a food sneaker, I use the Sneaky Chef's cookbook and some recipes will work but sometimes they catch on and reject the food. For example, I made chocolate chip cookies and added small, chopped up walnuts and my son noticed and wouldn't finish the cookie.
I'm seriously jealous of the moms that tell me their kids would eat anything they put in front of them (that was me as a kid) and I literally die inside. They are not spoiled kids, they are really good kids. I tell them no all the time. I've tried the "this is the only thing we have to eat" trick and they'd rather starve. I could so relate to the author of The Sneaky Chef. She tells the stories and struggles that I've had.
I'm not really looking for advice, I've tried every trick in the book. My only hope is that they will eventually grow out of it. At least that's what a lot of moms have told me. Anyone have a similar situation and their kid(s) grew out of it and will finally eat GOOD food? | |
|
KristinL16
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 142,870
April 2004
Posts: 12,258
Layouts: 102
Loc: MN
 | Posted: 2/5/2013 5:46:52 PM
I didn't like many fruits or veggies when I was a kid and now love most of them, so there is hope.  I have one that is particularly picky with fruits and veggies but the others are pretty good. They have their moments, though.
That being said, does your son have any other sensory issues? It may be worth mentioning to the doctor to see if there might be something else going on. |
|
|
NativeNewYorker
black eyed pea with soul!
PeaNut 15,878
May 2001
Posts: 24,960
Layouts: 70
Loc: LI, NY
 | Posted: 2/5/2013 5:51:29 PM
The only vegetable I liked as a child was string beans. The only fruit I really liked were bananas. Now, I like a wide variety of both (except brussel sprouts) My son was the same. He's 18 now and likes a wider variety of foods. |
|
|
scraphop
PeaNut
PeaNut 430,489
July 2009
Posts: 437
Layouts: 1
Loc: Arkansas
 | Posted: 2/5/2013 5:56:00 PM
We just had the battle at my house to eat one bite of chicken and one bite of mashed potatoes. He's 9 and I know he has texture issues. Before age 5, he would eat almost anything. Now, almost nothing. It's so discouraging.... |
|
|
ginacivey
prey-sniffing bully
PeaNut 32,477
March 2002
Posts: 24,558
Layouts: 32
Loc: Out in the boondocks
| Posted: 2/5/2013 5:56:28 PM
i think most people become more adventurous eaters as they grown up
tastebuds change and mature
as do people!
but again, i see some straight up picky ass eaters here
and my own DIL is a boring eater....
my son wouldn't eat ANYTHING tomato based until this year...he'll now eat pizza - he's 15!
here's hoping!
gina | |
|
606slz
AncestralPea
PeaNut 59,460
December 2002
Posts: 4,807
Layouts: 35
Loc: Central WI
 | Posted: 2/5/2013 5:57:27 PM
I was a very picky eater and I still am. My oldest dh is also and as an adult I can see how much I must have frustrated my parents when I was younger.
I try to be understanding to ds, it can be hard though.
Good luck. I am so jealous of people who will eat (and enjoy) anything. | |
|
*Shannah*
Haven't you heard about the word?
PeaNut 242,768
January 2006
Posts: 6,008
Layouts: 2
Loc: Looking at the purple mountain majesties
| Posted: 2/5/2013 6:07:55 PM
my child is the same. she also has sensory processing disorder. we've put her in eating therapy a couple of times and we're going to be putting her back in this year. she'll do great for a bit, then stop eating all the new foods. so we try again. | |
|
Darkangel090260
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 308,882
April 2007
Posts: 2,793
Layouts: 15
 | Posted: 2/5/2013 6:52:20 PM
Since our where small they got served a meal. The eat there meal or they did with out. Trust they will not die, when they get ready they will eat. The middle one has gone 3 days with out food because she refused to eat what was on the table. I am not a short order cook and will not spend my life cooking 15 different meal for the family. If someone has a food allergy then they get something they can eat.
I get sick of have to cook 3 different meal a day for mil since she can ate 99% of the food we eat. So each day i home cook 6 different meal unless MIL cook something for her. |
| I have quite a few learing disabilitys that effect my spelling a grammer. I do know my grammer and spelling suck. I have been working on this problem all my adult life. | |
|
|
Michelle Rae
PeaAddict
PeaNut 11,947
March 2001
Posts: 1,694
Layouts: 23
 | Posted: 2/5/2013 6:58:23 PM
Ds was the pickiest. Would only eat chicken noodle soup, spaghetti with butter and oddly pickles if he could have. He still won't eat tomatoes but eats salsa, sauce, pizza etc from things made with tomatoes. Won't touch cucumbers but eats a jar of pickles every 6 weeks. Lol
He is 15. Eats almost everything else now.
I was as picky. Would have lived on bread and buns if allowed. My least favorite food chili is my favorite now.
There is hope! I never force fed him anything or purposely made an entire meal of foods he hated and said eat it or eat nothing. My parents did that to me (they were awesome otherwise) but I honestly believe the binge eating I did as a teenager and adult stems from me hiding foods when I didn't eat dinner because I had to eat things they knew I didn't like or nothing. I'd hide bread in my room or junk and eat under the covers at night. 
I promised I'd never do that to my child. |
|
|
moveablefeast
do justice, love mercy
PeaNut 265,707
June 2006
Posts: 11,116
Layouts: 0
Loc: Northern Virginia
| Posted: 2/5/2013 7:28:35 PM
I have a gradually reforming picky eater. She was really on a path to severely picky and I wasn't enthused about that, because how do you have playdates that include dinner if you will eat exactly four foods and all of them involve ketchup?
So I am grateful to have some expanding horizons in my house.
But i admit it - I bribe. I fix a plate for my daughter, always containing something she likes and usually containing something new, and usually not containing something that is genuinely distasteful to her. If she eats some of the known food and a bite of the new food, she can have a Hershey's Kiss for dessert. Works every time and now she asks to try new things.
Tonight she ate apricot chicken, vege pot stickers, green beans , and sauteed garlic spinach. And baby carrots. The pot stickers were new. The green beans she didn't like but the spinach she asked for seconds of. Win.
IMO most picky eaters grow out of it, but I gave mine a little nudge.  | |
|
Darkangel090260
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 308,882
April 2007
Posts: 2,793
Layouts: 15
| Posted: 2/5/2013 8:22:50 PM
no she had was offered all 3 meals and refused to eat them. each meal was different. Including salad and lunch and dinner. unless it was what she ask for . Each day one person picks dinner and it was not her turn. On Sunday we each pick a card with a day of the week on it. Then they get to pick a meal from the weeks menu the help make the meal. |
| I have quite a few learing disabilitys that effect my spelling a grammer. I do know my grammer and spelling suck. I have been working on this problem all my adult life. | |
|
|
Momof1sweet-lil-lad
& the Velcro dog
PeaNut 133,429
February 2004
Posts: 9,092
Layouts: 0
Loc: With my Shadow
| Posted: 2/5/2013 8:29:01 PM
I have lots of food issues. Always have. I've been able to expand my food choices tremendously. Didn't happen until I began cooking.
One of my siblings was much more of a challenge. She would be limited to 4 to 6 foods at a time. Never the same foods all the time, they changed. One day she would like a food, the next day it was gross.
She has expanded her foods, but not by much. We went out to dinner the other night and I noticed her salad contained carrots and some cheese, compared to the iceberg lettuce & pepper that she used to call salad. Still no dressing.
The other sibling ate/tried anything but seafood/fish. |
The difference between genius and stupidity is genius has its limits. ~Albert Einstein | |
|
|
TXDancermom
PeaFixture
PeaNut 146,748
May 2004
Posts: 3,655
Layouts: 1
| Posted: 2/5/2013 8:30:28 PM
my dd was a picky eater - she would not try new things
Until - she got on her own, had to cook her own meals, and is now eating things like brussel sprouts, kale, and other vegetables that she would never dream of touching as a child | |
|
tamhugh
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 12,875
March 2001
Posts: 7,883
Layouts: 11
| Posted: 2/5/2013 8:35:02 PM
My oldest was always a great eater and still is.
My youngest was another story. He has always been picky and I think he always will be. He eats almost any fish or seafood and loves sushi. He won't eat any vegetables except an occasional salad or raw carrots. He is away at college, and a few nights ago, he called to say he had ordered Chinese and they included an egg roll. He asked what is in them. I told him I wasn't sure, just that it was some kind of vegetables and to just bite into it and try it. His response? "Do people actually do that?" He looked it up online and decided he wouldn't try it. Drives me crazy, since I will try almost anything. | |
|
scrappychick13
PeaFixture
PeaNut 194,901
March 2005
Posts: 3,596
Layouts: 1
Loc: on the brink of insanity
 | Posted: 2/5/2013 8:42:35 PM
In our house, you're allowed to be picky eater until age 5. After that, you start on the adventure eating track. We only introduce "new" foods at dinner to reduce stress. The first time you try it, you only have to eat one bite. Then we talk about what they liked or didn't like about it. Our motto is, "You don't have to love it, you just have to eat it." We talk about what kinds of foods we might like to try, and we do it. I let them help me prepare it- they take pride in cooking things themselves. Even my 3 year old can stir things. I gave them a list of veggies that we can grow this year, and they are excited to eat things that they grow. My 6 year old has had texture issues since he was a baby, but has really blossomed this year under our new plan. He has added dozens of new foods to his repitoire. | |
|
Miss Lerins Momma
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 151,660
June 2004
Posts: 13,082
Layouts: 38
Loc: KY
| |
mama nay
PeaAddict
PeaNut 191,474
February 2005
Posts: 1,873
Layouts: 0
Loc: in the sunshine
| Posted: 2/5/2013 9:00:45 PM
Still working on my picky eaters. But I refuse to be a short order cook. I cook one dinner and you either eat it or not. There is always soup, cereal or pb if needed. With that said I do try to accommodate, as in I will leave some pasta etc w/o sauce, etc. But I will not make a separate dinner. To bad, so sad.
I am however convinced my kids would not be picky eaters if my dh didn't side with them and undermine my efforts. The man eats no veggies! Very few fruits and even acts like my kids if I put them on his plate.  |
|
|
finally~a~mama
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 438,682
September 2009
Posts: 2,592
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/5/2013 9:24:25 PM
I was a picky eater growing up. I outgrew it. Going to college & eating crappy cafeteria food made me much more open to eating new or different home cooked meals.
DH is rather picky, but has gotten a little better. His family tends to have the same things so I don't think he was exposed to as many different foods.
Our DD is picky, but I have hopes that she will outgrow it. She had texture issues as a baby & wouldn't eat table food until just after a year old. She doesn't like anything that is mixed together -- soups, casseroles, tacos, etc. I offer them along with fruits & veggies that she will eat. My theory is that she will eventually decide they are okay. Hopefully. |
|
|
huskergal
Shameless Husker Fan
PeaNut 49,249
September 2002
Posts: 49,214
Layouts: 123
Loc: Husker Nation
| Posted: 2/5/2013 9:34:02 PM
My very picky oldest son has started trying more and more foods. He has expanded his vegetable selections; however, I am not holding out hope for my 11 year old. He will be picky forever. |
Susan
 | |
|
|
mlana
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 226,155
October 2005
Posts: 2,679
Layouts: 1
| Posted: 2/6/2013 12:46:24 AM
My MIL did me no favors when it came to DH and food. If she prepared a meal and he decided after it was done that he didn't want it, she cleaned up from the first meal and prepared him whatever he wanted. When we married, the only veggies he ate were whole kernel corn, tiny green peas, and potatoes. He loved casseroles, but would not eat them if they contained onions, celery, or any leafy seasoning.
When we married, I had an 8 month old son from a previous marriage. My son was. Always an adventurous eater, until DH started making faces at the food DS was eating. When he was 3, my son adored asparagus, and would ask for it very often. DH started making fake gagging noises ever time I served asparagus, so DS stopped eating it and began copying DH. When I realized what was going on, I took DH aside and reminded him that we wanted DS to be a good eater and to eat foods that were good for him. Both of us have weight problems and we don't want that for either of our kids. To his credit, DH stopped immediately, and began encouraging DS to eat healthily again.
I have always offered DH a bite of whatever I make for dinner, even if I know it isn't to his taste; to me, that is just good manners. At one meal, DD was about 2, and she offered him a steamed green bean from her plate. As you know, only an asshat would refuse a toddler's offering, so he took a bite. He couldn't believe he liked it. He actually ate a big plateful of beans that night, while I watched in total disbelief. I was quite sure that the Pod People had arrived and taken over DH.
We realized after talking that DH had not tried a lot of vegetables in years, as in 30, and he didn't actually remember how they tasted, just that he didn't like them. He started trying veggies cooked various ways and now he eats more things than he hates. He even eats asparagus, though my DS still doesn't.
So, there is hope. Eventually.
Marcy |
|
|
jods
PeaAddict
PeaNut 103,884
August 2003
Posts: 1,724
Layouts: 4
| Posted: 2/6/2013 1:58:16 AM
They will! Just be consistent. Offer a variety of foods, make it no stress, and don't short order cook or they will know they can complain and get something else.
Ellyn Satter is a fantastic resource--you might want to check out some of her books. There is also a blog I really like that is written by a mom who is also a registered dietitian. www.raisehealthyeaters.com
This post has some great points: http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/2010/07/10-pitfalls-to-feeding-picky-eaters/
Good luck. I know firsthand that it can be tough--but it will get better! | |
|
AussieMeg
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 51,689
October 2002
Posts: 6,634
Layouts: 16
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
| Posted: 2/6/2013 2:09:56 AM
Stay hopeful! My kids were both picky eaters. 8yo DS still is picky. 15yo DD has improved out of sight over the last 3 years. She eats a lot of different things now, even the hot curries that we like. And she will give everything a go now, at least once. A couple of things she still won't eat are eggs and pumpkin, but I'm working on it!
| |
|
ashazamm
BucketHead
PeaNut 217,769
August 2005
Posts: 571
Layouts: 18
Loc: NY
| Posted: 2/6/2013 5:32:36 AM
That being said, does your son have any other sensory issues? It may be worth mentioning to the doctor to see if there might be something else going on.
He had a speech delay and when he was being evaluated, I told them about the food adversion and they blew it off. His doctor knows about it too but isn't concerned. | |
|
ashazamm
BucketHead
PeaNut 217,769
August 2005
Posts: 571
Layouts: 18
Loc: NY
| Posted: 2/6/2013 5:39:40 AM
I never force fed him anything or purposely made an entire meal of foods he hated and said eat it or eat nothing. My parents did that to me (they were awesome otherwise) but I honestly believe the binge eating I did as a teenager and adult stems from me hiding foods when I didn't eat dinner because I had to eat things they knew I didn't like or nothing. I'd hide bread in my room or junk and eat under the covers at night.
I promised I'd never do that to my child.
This is very powerful and good to know. | |
|
ashazamm
BucketHead
PeaNut 217,769
August 2005
Posts: 571
Layouts: 18
Loc: NY
| Posted: 2/6/2013 5:46:22 AM
In our house, you're allowed to be picky eater until age 5. After that, you start on the adventure eating track. We only introduce "new" foods at dinner to reduce stress. The first time you try it, you only have to eat one bite. Then we talk about what they liked or didn't like about it. Our motto is, "You don't have to love it, you just have to eat it." We talk about what kinds of foods we might like to try, and we do it. I let them help me prepare it- they take pride in cooking things themselves. Even my 3 year old can stir things. I gave them a list of veggies that we can grow this year, and they are excited to eat things that they grow. My 6 year old has had texture issues since he was a baby, but has really blossomed this year under our new plan. He has added dozens of new foods to his repitoire.
This would be my dream. I have asked them to try new foods and you would think I was torturing them so I gave up. My kids are really stubborn when it comes to food. | |
|
ashazamm
BucketHead
PeaNut 217,769
August 2005
Posts: 571
Layouts: 18
Loc: NY
| Posted: 2/6/2013 5:49:13 AM
I am however convinced my kids would not be picky eaters if my dh didn't side with them and undermine my efforts. The man eats no veggies! Very few fruits and even acts like my kids if I put them on his plate.
Luckily my DH is a good eater. He and I will eat anything. He's supportive of my efforts and he even tries to get them to try new things. | |
|
ashazamm
BucketHead
PeaNut 217,769
August 2005
Posts: 571
Layouts: 18
Loc: NY
| Posted: 2/6/2013 5:53:29 AM
You're all giving me hope, thank you | |
|
Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!
PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 23,525
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here
| Posted: 2/6/2013 6:19:19 AM
Someone once told me that picky eaters are a first world problem. That you don't find them in third world countries. I have always thought about that when dealing with a picky eater.
My boys had a shared friend who ate pizza, nuggets, fries with ranch dip and soda pretty much 3 meals a day at his house because his mother said he would not eat anything else.
When he was at my house he ate virtually anything my boys ate without a word once I told him that we had no pizza, nuggets, fries or soda. But I did tell him he could have all the ranch dressing he wanted. And if he wants to put that on lasagne, who am I to judge?
So my guess is that in the future, when there are not people accommodating them and they are in situations where they need to eat (like a business dinner) then they will be less picky.
The middle one has gone 3 days with out food because she refused to eat what was on the table.
This is just abusive to me, if I understand it correctly. You did not feed your child an alternative for 3 days, at any meal? Sounds like that child is going to have life long food related issues! |
Dog people are a special breed! | |
|
|
gypsyz3
Beach Bum Pea
PeaNut 2,013
November 1999
Posts: 8,867
Layouts: 25
Loc: Miami, FL
 | Posted: 2/6/2013 6:24:32 AM
I am a VERY picky eater and I HATE it. My mom let me eat whatever I wanted just as long as I ate. It was ridiculous. Now as an adult I have horrible eating habits. I have a very limited variety of food that I will eat. Trust me, I wish I would adjust my tastes, but they are set for life now.
I swore I would not do the same with my kids. Out of my 3, I have 2 that can be picky but we just don't allow them to be. The other one has always eaten anything. We also have the rule that they eat what is served or nothing at all. I know when a kid genuinely doesn't like something as opposed to something they don't want to try. By the time they were toddlers, my kids ate a larger variety than I did. It's been a struggle, but I would rather struggle with a toddler than a teen. I think eating habits are easier to set young than to alter later.
Oh and we don't allow them to pick something from the kid menus at restaurants. They can have an appetizer or share from the adult menu. I refuse to pay for Mac and cheese or chicken fingers at a restaurant. We always try to pick different ethnic restaurants to expose them to more variety. We make it fun by looking up the country before we go and they have an idea of what will be in the menu. Just last weekend we ate at a Romanian restaurant and we are going to a Thai place tonight after practice.
I just refuse to believe that unless a child has sensory issues, you are born a picky eater. |
|
|
Scrapbrat1
Sue Pea
PeaNut 87,238
May 2003
Posts: 7,026
Layouts: 190
Loc: Dirtyland and Oilyland
| Posted: 2/6/2013 6:43:26 AM
I have asked them to try new foods and you would think I was torturing them so I gave up. My kids are really stubborn when it comes to food.
I just wanted to say that a nutritionist once told me that it can take 12 to 14 "exposures" for a kid to try a new food. That amazed me. I took that to heart with my younger DS, and even though he did not eat some of the veggies and so forth that I put on his plate, I kept right on serving them. He is 13 now, and while there are a lot of veggies he is not crazy about, he will eat most of them uncomplainingly.
|
Barbara
CKU-Indy -- March 2003
CKU-M, Salt Lake City -- August 2004 | |
|
|
Mallie
BucketHead
PeaNut 574,604
December 2012
Posts: 685
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/6/2013 7:34:09 AM
I know people who have gotten over being picky and I know people who have not.
I also know that I used to be one of the least picky eaters ever and as I've gotten older, I cannot eat quite a few foods because the results are not happy. So NOW you might think I was a voluntarily picky eater, but I am not. I cannot eat quite a few normal foods. I'd LOVE to be able to eat them, but I cannot. It's given me a lot more empathy for those who appear picky. Maybe they too suffer an unhappy result and have learned to shy away from certain foods. | |
|
Simply_Lovely
PeaFixture
PeaNut 463,295
April 2010
Posts: 3,281
Layouts: 3
Loc: New York City
| |
doesitmatter?
AncestralPea
PeaNut 509,811
May 2011
Posts: 4,848
Layouts: 21
 | Posted: 2/6/2013 3:26:30 PM
I wish I could, I was born a but picky and still am! But I don't expect anyone to make special accommodations for me-ever. |
| Child of God, follower of Jesus, and so thankful for His presence in my life <>< | |
|
|
Bberry
PeaNut
PeaNut 553,683
May 2012
Posts: 37
Layouts: 0
Loc: North Carolina
| Posted: 2/6/2013 4:54:01 PM
I feel that picky easters are made, not born. The more you cater to a picky eater, the pickier they get. (This does NOT include health issues/disorders) I have 13 yr old twins. When they were little, they were picky and just getting pickier. At one point, when they were 3 , i was preparing 3 different meals a night. One night I decided I was crazy to do this and my dh agreed. I prepared a dinner and made sure there was something on the plate that ds liked and something dd liked. They were not allowed to have seconds of what they liked until they ate half of everything else on the plate. There were plenty of nights that my ds only had a small piece of bread for dinner. In about 1 month, things had improved greatly. Now 10 yrs later, dd is not picky at all and will try anything at least once. Ds is still a bit picky when he has a choice, but will eat anything when we are at someone elses home. Oh, and they do not have any eating disorders. Neither do I, and my parents were much more strict about this matter than me! | |
|
cindylou62
PeaAddict
PeaNut 251,766
March 2006
Posts: 1,631
Layouts: 189
Loc: minnesota-brrrrrr
| Posted: 2/6/2013 8:24:30 PM
This is going to be long, sorry.
I am as picky as they come, always have been, was forced to sit at the table until I ate, sometimes it was 9:30 and the food was ice cold, my mom would quietly take my plate away(when dad wasn't paying attention) and send me to bed, I went quietly, so glad to be excused. I did not dare ask for something else.
I knew I would never do that to my kids, didn't have to, they were totally normal eaters. I didn't talk about my pickiness with them.
I try to keep my picky eating to myself, its no-ones business anyway.
I can always manage to find something when I go out to eat with folks.
But would fail if I were taken to a very foreign country.
I have never willingly eaten Lettuce or Fish. never will. why do I NEED to?
Most people would never realize the extent, hard times are the work potlucks, sometimes I will quietly just eat chips or leave the dept. and go to the cafeteria alone. Unless I have cooked one of the "main" dishes. Which is tuff because my foods are verrrry boring ones.
I am so thankful and happy that nobody tries to force any food on me EVER again.
I am very healthy and active for my age.
My mom and dad could have spared me the trauma of those times and let me eat buttered bread on those days, I wouldn't have held the grudge I do still today at 50.
PS mom and Dads it is not worth it. | |
|
AKathy
Peaing From Podunk
PeaNut 45,443
August 2002
Posts: 14,550
Layouts: 93
Loc: North Dakota
| Posted: 2/6/2013 9:48:19 PM
I have been a picky eater all my life (I'm 60). I believe I am a SUPERTASTER |
|
|
