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jalapenette
BucketHead
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March 2009
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 |  Posted: 3/1/2013 4:58:24 PM
So, here I am again with sick kids because people refuse to keep their sick kids out of nursery. It happens at least once a month that my toddler picks something up there. It is about driving me crazy.
I am talking about the LDS nursery, so for peas who are not LDS: it is where the 18 month olds to 3 year olds go for two hours on Sunday during sunday school. You are not supposed to bring your kids if they are sick- there is a sign on the door that states this and outlines what it means (runny nose, fever, just not acting well, etc.) so there is no possible confusion. Yet I have seen parents dropping their toddlers off with obviously snotty faces.
And hello? They are sharing toys, slobber, all the things toddlers share when they are in close vicinity for a while, so of COURSE they are going to pass the bug around. Really, how hard is it to keep your sick kids home? You weren't working anyway, because you are at church, so you don't need to ask off of work or get a babysitter. Yes, sometimes people have callings that they have to ask someone else to fill in for them, but still. I have a calling too, but I still manage to keep my kids home when they are sick.
At least once a month, my toddler gets sick, and then the baby gets it too, and then DH and I get it.
I am about fed up enough to talk to someone about it, but we are moving next week so I guess it is kind of pointless. Hopefully the next ward will be better about it.  My mom says in her ward the nursery leaders actually enforce the policy, not allowing visibly sick kids to be dropped off. It would be nice, wouldn't it? |
-Rachelle
*Mommy to Adam, born October 2010, and Tommy, July 2012*
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HelenaJole
fatalist fugitive pugilist philatelist
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 | Posted: 3/1/2013 5:04:38 PM
I remember our nursery at one point had a sign on the door--something to the effect of "If your child has any of these symptoms, don't bring them in!" |
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jalapenette
BucketHead
PeaNut 415,025
March 2009
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Loc: Southwest USA
| Posted: 3/1/2013 5:05:09 PM
Yeah, ours has that sign too! But nobody pays any attention to it. |
-Rachelle
*Mommy to Adam, born October 2010, and Tommy, July 2012*
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Rainy_Day_Woman
PeaFixture
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 | Posted: 3/1/2013 5:05:59 PM
That stinks. I hope your new nursery is more diligent in monitoring that.
I can't imagine sending an obviously sick kid to nursery school or daycare, especially since as you stated, it's a Sunday. My daughter at least, when she was ill, wanted to do nothing but cuddle in bed- which was exactly where she should be! | |
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peamac
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
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| Posted: 3/1/2013 5:28:11 PM
Don't the nursery workers turn away sick kids at the door? They should be the ones that have the final say- not the parents of the sick kids.
-signed, a mom whose DD was turned away from the nursery b/c of allergies (not even cold season!)
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theshyone
I'm Alive!
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 | Posted: 3/1/2013 6:01:55 PM
My son had severe allergies. As a toddler he always had snot on his face. Two seconds after it was washed it would be everywhere again. He was banned from so many places even though I knew he was not contagious.
So there are two sides. |
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caroscraps
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 | Posted: 3/1/2013 6:40:56 PM
My youngest always got sick after Sunday nursery. (not LDS). But we also went other places during the week and he could have picked up germs somewhere else. Germs are everywhere, not just the church nursery. |
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HannahRuth
StuckOnPeas
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 | Posted: 3/1/2013 6:51:10 PM
If I saw that there were obviously ill children in the nursery I would not have left mine there.
Your call. | |
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moveablefeast
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| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:16:10 PM
I don't know how old your kids are, but I felt that way about the church nursery, the gym childcare, etc. Then I took her to school and you should hear the hacking coughs up and down the hall all day. 
We get sick about once a month, too. More often this year - it was a rotten cold-flu season around here. Might just be how it is for a while. I see it as just a big immune booster for when school starts. Even though it is super annoying!
I try to keep her away from barfing kiddos, but the coughing hacking runny nose thing - eh, it's lost its punch for me after two years of preschool. | |
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Scrapn Nana
PEAring through my camera lens
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| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:51:01 PM
Yes, I hear you. When my oldest was in Nursery, he kept getting sick, and when he got a cold, it always turned into something much worse. So my doctor told me to stop taking him to Nursery. He never got sick after that.
Fast forward more years than I want to admit. I've been a Nursery leader a number of times since those days. I enforced the no sick kids rule. If I thought a child was sick, I talked to his/her parents. If they assured me it was documented allergies, and the child had no fever or other symptoms of illness, the child could come into Nursery, but I watched the child carefully and tried to keep the child away from others until I could be sure if it really was allergies or not (for example, allergies don't have a fever). If I was certain a child was ill despite the parents' insistence that it was just allergies, I took the child to the parents. Secondary infections can happen even with allergies, and will result in the child being returned to the mom or dad.
Also, before the first of the year, all Nursery parents got a letter advising them that despite popular mistaken opinion, Nursery is NOT a babysitting service. It is intended to help the children prepare for attending Primary when old enough. If the parents have other callings, they must make other arrangements for a sick child. And regardless of whatever callings they had, if they brought a sick child to Nursery and shoved the child through the door and quickly disappeared, they would have their sick child taken promptly back to them.
Once parents finally comprehend the idea that Nursery is NOT for their convenience, it gets easier. Some parents are grumpy at first, but being firm (but still pleasant) does get the point across at some point.
A sign is only as good as the enforcement of the rule.
Good luck. Hope you have a more firm Nursery Leader in your new ward. |
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schooby
PeaAddict
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 | Posted: 3/1/2013 9:02:31 PM
Not LDS, and we always brought our kids to Church with us. By 18 months, they were in the routine of quiet time and coloring books and Cheerios if they got hungry. Not disruptive at all.
I hated the idea of leaving my baby with strangers. In a daycare setting, the employees are vetted, with background checks. In a church nursery, volunteers can change out every week. Some churches perform background checks and provide double coverage, but often, they have not been checked out. It's just assumed that they are trustworthy because they have been members of the church, and sometimes only for a few months.
I also sympathize with you on the other kids getting your kids sick. I got so frustrated with DD's daycare, we switched. People would give their babies children's Motrin and send them to daycare sick. They'd wake up from nap with 103 fever. The new daycare had more of a Mother's Day Out focus, and a stronger network of mom friends, so if you DID send your baby sick, you were ostracized by the mommy community.
There were many months we just kept our little ones home when everyone else was sick. We just didn't want to deal with it traveling through our family and getting baby sick. There were many months where DH and I took turns going to Church. | |
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jalapenette
BucketHead
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| Posted: 3/1/2013 9:25:48 PM
DS is two... and really we don't go many places during the week. He doesn't have a chance to get exposed to germs other places.
I understand that some kids have allergies, but I am not talking about kids with allergies. These are people I know, and I know that it is not allergies.
The funny thing is, I was talking to a member of the bishopric last week, and he said something to the tune of "we don't see you that often." Huh. I guess because we stay home when we are sick? 
Keeping the two-year old with me is really not an option. It's hard enough getting him to sit through sacrament. He is not a quiet child, despite our hard work to teach him to be reverent. Besides, he really really loves nursery and he would throw such a huge fit about not getting to go that we would just have to go home. And really I think it is an unreasonable expectation for a two-year old to sit still for three straight hours. |
-Rachelle
*Mommy to Adam, born October 2010, and Tommy, July 2012*
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MerryMom937
PeaFixture
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 | Posted: 3/1/2013 9:49:04 PM
People can be contagious before they have symptoms of illness.
Sorry, but that's the nature of children. | |
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julieberg
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
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| Posted: 3/1/2013 9:49:45 PM
You are going to get this everywhere your child goes for the next 16 years. School, playgrounds, etc. Hire a sitter if you don't want your little one exposed - or put him/her in a bubble. | |
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dreamerpea
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
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 | Posted: 3/1/2013 10:03:23 PM
You need to be more assertive. Why don't you say anything when you see that the child is clearly sick?
When you see someone I would say. Ooops maybe you haven't seen our sign.
You can't leave your child here today! |
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jalapenette
BucketHead
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March 2009
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| Posted: 3/1/2013 10:03:43 PM
I know sometimes you don't know the kid is sick until he barfs. But I'm not talking about that. I am talking about when you KNOW they are sick but you go ahead and bring them anyway.
I know he will get exposed to things, but I think it is really inconsiderate to purposefully expose other toddlers to your child's illness, especially when it is clearly against the rules posted on the door to the nursery. |
-Rachelle
*Mommy to Adam, born October 2010, and Tommy, July 2012*
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jalapenette
BucketHead
PeaNut 415,025
March 2009
Posts: 656
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Loc: Southwest USA
| Posted: 3/1/2013 10:08:55 PM
You need to be more assertive. Why don't you say anything when you see that the child is clearly sick?
When you see someone I would say. Ooops maybe you haven't seen our sign.
You can't leave your child here today!
I really hate confrontation. I would feel uncomfortable saying that to another parent.... I don't work in the nursery. Also, often I don't see the sick kids till I pick DS up from nursery afterwards. I can't stick around the whole time kids are arriving because I have to go teach a class.
Anyway, as I said in the OP I am moving next weekend anyway, so it would be kind of pointless now. I am just frustrated right now because my babies are sick again. It makes me sad, especially my younger one since he is still so little. |
-Rachelle
*Mommy to Adam, born October 2010, and Tommy, July 2012*
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LippyMans
I like pizza Steve
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| Posted: 3/1/2013 10:17:36 PM
Honestly any LDS nursery you take your child to during the winter months is going to end with your child getting sick. I have never been in a ward where there wasn't some snotty nose, coughing, sick kid in the nursery. At one point our ward had to stop nursery for about 3 weeks because there was some nasty virus going through all the kids and they kept passing it around. Nevermind that if you are LUCKY the toys get washed once a year as a young men/women service project. NASTY!!! | |
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gar
Whoopea!
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| Posted: 3/2/2013 1:50:10 AM
It does kids good to build their immunity that way. Protecting them does nothing for them in the long run and means they'll be more vulnerable to things when you go places that you can't avoid - like nursery and school which will happen before you know it.
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CA2UK
PeaNut
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| Posted: 3/2/2013 3:07:41 AM
Please keep your sick children at home. I say this as the mother of a four year old who was admitted to hospital with acute lymphadenitis and spent a week on intravenous antibiotics. He was very ill.
I place the blame for his illness on the parents of his classmates and his class teacher who allowed (positively encouraged) obviously sick children to attend school. The teacher had even taken me on one side, four weeks before my son became ill to reprimand me for the amount of sick days he had.
My child is the youngest of three and had attended two years of nursery prior to starting school. He was a healthy child and had been exposed to plenty of viruses prior to starting school. There is, however, a limit to how much green snot, vomit and diarrhoea a four year old's immune system can be exposed to before it takes a toll.
My son is now 15, 6' 3", still growing and as fit as a butcher's dog. | |
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Pretty In PeaNK
PeaFixture
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| Posted: 3/2/2013 7:47:57 AM
Oh, the snot. Especially the mustache of green snot. It makes me so mad. We have been sick back to back to back because every time we recuperate, we go back to church and get sick again.
I think it may be more prevalent in churches because no one wants to be "mean" and send people home.
But, it happens outside of church, too. I invited a friend over for a plays date, and her kids showed up with the dreaded mustache of green snot. We were cornered with no where to escape. And of course we all got sick with the worst flu/cold this season.
So we stayed home over a week. No church, no class, no bible study. Only the grocery store. We were finally 100% and went to bible study, and there's my same friend pulling her sick kids out of her van, explaining with a giggle that they're sick, but she's stir crazy. 
We got sick again.
And to the person above suggesting people should put their kids in bubbles, I suspect it's people like you who go out when your sick and have an "it's not my problem" if someone else gets sick. |
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Princess Pea
AncestralPea
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 | Posted: 3/2/2013 7:57:29 AM
You are going to get this everywhere your child goes for the next 16 years. School, playgrounds, etc. Hire a sitter if you don't want your little one exposed - or put him/her in a bubble.
Although I wouldn't have been as blunt, this quote is true. You can't control what others do, you can only control your actions. You have to look out for your child. You can complain to the nursery workers, but there will always be a snotty kid around.
Keep in mind, too, that it is good to some extent for your child to be exposed so that he can build up some immunity. |
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HelenaJole
fatalist fugitive pugilist philatelist
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| Posted: 3/2/2013 10:00:59 AM
Not LDS, and we always brought our kids to Church with us. By 18 months, they were in the routine of quiet time and coloring books and Cheerios if they got hungry. Not disruptive at all.
LDS services last three hours. Everyone is together for the first hour, and we do the Cheerios and coloring thing. (Last week my son was singing "Do Re Mi" rather loudly right in the middle of the sacrament  ). After that we break up, and the adults go to their classes and the kids go to their classes. Nursery happens during second and third hour. You will see parents with pre-Nursery age kids roaming the halls with them, sometimes. That seems to be how it goes--you take your baby with you to the adult classes for as long as you can, and then you roam the halls for a few months till they're old enough to go to Nursery. (But yes, they shouldn't be going if they're sick!) |
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Scrapn Nana
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| Posted: 3/2/2013 11:37:01 AM
It does kids good to build their immunity that way. Protecting them does nothing for them in the long run and means they'll be more vulnerable to things when you go places that you can't avoid - like nursery and school which will happen before you know it.
That isn't justification for parents who refuse to abide by the Nursery rules that state "No sick kids."
There are still going to be plenty of opportunities for children to develop their immune systems. Deliberate exposure to illness simply isn't necessary.
Nursery is a nice break for parents who want to get something out of church, but it is NOT a babysitting service that parents are entitled to. NO one who has a sick child has any business taking their sick child to Nursery and deliberately exposing others, especially when it's against the rules. I get pretty tired of people who think the rules don't apply to them, whatever their reasoning. |
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gar
Whoopea!
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| Posted: 3/2/2013 11:55:53 AM
It does kids good to build their immunity that way. Protecting them does nothing for them in the long run and means they'll be more vulnerable to things when you go places that you can't avoid - like nursery and school which will happen before you know it.
That isn't justification for parents who refuse to abide by the Nursery rules that state "No sick kids."
Then it's up to the staff to enforce the rules.
But I think there's a difference between sick with a standard cold and sick with a raging fever/vomiting etc.
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IScrapCrap
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| Posted: 3/2/2013 12:02:15 PM
My youngest always got sick after Sunday nursery. (not LDS). But we also went other places during the week and he could have picked up germs somewhere else. Germs are everywhere, not just the church nursery.
The thing about LDS congregations (wards) there is typically three to a building. Each session last 3 hours. Most of the toys are shared. Some wards are territorial and have their own closet. So, if you are the last ward of the day, numerous children have had their hands on the same stuff for at least four hours. It's a regular McDonald's playground. No time for sanitizing in between sessions.
And there are a few wards who have sacrament meeting last (where everyone meets) and I used to skip on a regular basis for that reason. | |
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Peal
Hello, is this thing on?
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| Posted: 3/2/2013 12:15:51 PM
I hate to say it, but I'm far more concerned about the germs being shared on the communal sacrament trays than the ones in Nursery. I'm surprised we haven't all come down with typhoid or dysentery the way water cups are dripped across each other as they are being disposed. Grubby little hands poking around the bread for the biggest piece. Boys hacking up a lung as they prepare the trays.
It kills me. |
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zoeybug
BucketHead
PeaNut 425,771
June 2009
Posts: 682
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Loc: Dallas
 | Posted: 3/2/2013 12:31:22 PM
This is why I spent the first year of Sundays for my babies in the Narthex ( foyer right outside the sanctuary). I learned really quick with my oldest. This is one of my pet peaves! | |
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jalapenette
BucketHead
PeaNut 415,025
March 2009
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Loc: Southwest USA
| Posted: 3/2/2013 3:46:02 PM
That isn't justification for parents who refuse to abide by the Nursery rules that state "No sick kids."
There are still going to be plenty of opportunities for children to develop their immune systems. Deliberate exposure to illness simply isn't necessary.
Nursery is a nice break for parents who want to get something out of church, but it is NOT a babysitting service that parents are entitled to. NO one who has a sick child has any business taking their sick child to Nursery and deliberately exposing others, especially when it's against the rules. I get pretty tired of people who think the rules don't apply to them, whatever their reasoning.
My feelings exactly. You wouldn't deliberately expose YOURSELF to illness, and I seriously doubt you would do it to your own kids. And even more pertinent, why would you feel it is in your authority to expose OTHER PEOPLE'S kids to your kid's illness?
I agree that the nursery workers should enforce the rules, but parents should also take responsibility to not take their kids there in the first place.
It makes me extra cranky since I spent two hours rocking my miserable, inconsolable baby last night who screamed at the top of his lungs despite my every attempt to soothe him and get him back to sleep.  It was a nasty, nasty virus that the kids caught this time. |
-Rachelle
*Mommy to Adam, born October 2010, and Tommy, July 2012*
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