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Mary Kay Lady
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 367,913
March 2008
Posts: 2,559
Layouts: 0
Loc: The state of Confusion!
 |  Posted: 3/1/2013 8:40:04 PM
My 19 year old son lives at home, works part-time at the public library and attends community college. In an effort to have him become more independent I've asked him to assume the responsibility of doing his own laundry.
He would wait until he had almost nothing clean to wear and then do his laundry. The problem with this was that he'd put his laundry in and then he'd have to leave the house for work or class and the machines would be tied up. The first couple of times that this happened I just finished up his laundry for him thinking that I would help him out. I also spoke to him about the fact that it was inconsiderate of others who need to use the machines and to please not do it again.
(You see where this is going don't you?) This request went in one ear and out the other.
Since he doesn't have to work on Thursdays (he does have classes, though) I told him that he needed to do his laundry on Thursdays and only Thursdays.
I've been sick all week with a terrible cold and needed to do laundry myself today. You guessed it, clothes in both machines.
I fluffed and folded his clothes that were in the dryer and dried his clothes that were in washing machine and proceeded to take care of my laundry.
I have talked to him a number of times about this, but he doesn't seem to get it. Currently, his clean clothes are in my bedroom and he seems blissfully unaware that his clothes are being held captive.
I'm frustrated with him not taking my requests seriously. I've explained to him that if he was living in a college dorm and left his laundry in the machines like this when I returned for them they would be long gone.
Has anyone BTDT and have any advice?
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ADDITIONAL INFO:
I've already done as you've suggested. I've taken his wrinked clothes from the dryer and dumped them on his bedroom floor along with his wet clothes from the washer. It doesn't seem to matter to him.
That's why I'm keeping them hostage. I imagine tomorrow when he goes to get dressed for work he'll start to wonder where his clothes are. I won't be here and I don't care if he has proper clothes to wear to work or not. I'm just tired of him acting like he's the only person in this house who needs to do laundry.
Any other advice?
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scorPEAo
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 181,836
December 2004
Posts: 5,030
Layouts: 0
Loc: YouSeeDavis
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:41:34 PM
don't fluff and fold his clothes. Put them in a pile on his bed and then when the stuff from the washer is dry do the same to them. My dd is 15 and that's what I do to her. |
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Laurel Jean
generic pea
PeaNut 76,877
March 2003
Posts: 9,208
Layouts: 179
Loc: Michigan
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:42:35 PM
Buy him his own laundry basket. Anything that is unreasonably taking up the machines, place it in the basket and put it on his bed.
Sooner or later he'll get the message.
Mean, but effective. | |
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*HuskerFaninIL*
Mommy of TWO LMM-O-Peas
PeaNut 51,325
October 2002
Posts: 14,605
Layouts: 310
Loc: Husker fan in the Illini State
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:42:36 PM
I'd move them to the dryer and to a basket if I needed the machine, but I would fluff of fold. He'd be wrinkled. |
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Momo4
Will I ever get to Buckethead?!
PeaNut 433,880
August 2009
Posts: 402
Layouts: 0
Loc: NW Ohio
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:43:41 PM
I would be tempted to not dry the stuff in the washer as well.... | |
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Scrappinnut01
PeaAddict
PeaNut 101,443
August 2003
Posts: 1,283
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:43:43 PM
My kids have been doing their own laundry since they were about 12. For a 19 year old who leaves his clothes in the dryer, why did you fluff and fold them? I would have just scooped them all out and dumped them on his bed. I would leave my clothes in there too, if I knew they would end up being all folded for me. As for the wet ones in the washer, I might toss them in the dryer so I could use the washer, but when they were dry they would be dumped on his bed. If he continued to do that, I wouldn't even dry them, just put them in a basket and let him deal with wet clothes. | |
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blue tulip
AncestralPea
PeaNut 390,473
September 2008
Posts: 4,527
Layouts: 0
Loc: right behind you!
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:44:03 PM
yep. he has no need to change, because he's getting it done.  take his clothes out, put the wet ones in one pile and the dry in another and do yoru own. when he comes down to get something he needs and finds it in a stinky moist ball, he'll get it. |
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voltagain
OklaPhoma
PeaNut 18,334
July 2001
Posts: 35,318
Layouts: 15
Loc: State of cultural confusion. Yeehaw and Aloha have collided!
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:44:34 PM
So far every time he doesn't finish the chore you do it for him. Why should he bother finishing it? you are doing it. STOP.
Put the wet clothes and the dry clothes in the middle of his bed. Close the door and walk away. Tell him the next time you will be putting them in the trash.
STOP CLEANING UP AFTER ANOTHER ADULT. STOP IT. Make it HIS problem. Not yours. |
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IPeaFreely
It's a Higgs, baby!
PeaNut 120,657
December 2003
Posts: 12,283
Layouts: 32
Loc: CERN
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:45:11 PM
He doesnt get it? I think he gets it perfectly well! Surprise! You're still doing his laundry.
You can
1). Continue on this way
2). Do what they would do in a laundramat...toss it on the floor, dry or wet.
3). Do his laundry and then sell it pack to him piece by piece
4). Toss it all n the garbage.
Just depends how mad you are and how much you want him to do his own laundry. | |
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scrap-up
PeaNut
PeaNut 16,299
June 2001
Posts: 272
Layouts: 2
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:46:32 PM
I would do what I did in college at the laundry mat. Simply take the offending load out of whatever machine it was in and place the pile (either wet or dry) on top of the machine or in the waiting basket. |
Julie
Mom to a Peanut, a Slugger, and a Boo. | |
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freecharlie
Is the pool open yet?
PeaNut 109,127
September 2003
Posts: 19,504
Layouts: 4
Loc: Colorado
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:47:24 PM
Since this has happened multiple times, I would start with putting the dryer clothes into a basket without folding and put it in his room.
The very next time, he did it, the clothes in the washing machine would be in the basket too without drying. |
| Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you | |
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Gsquaredmom
PeaNut 259,367
April 2006
Posts: 7,987
Layouts: 0
Loc: Midwest
 | Posted: 3/1/2013 8:50:55 PM
I'd love to say just take it out of the washer and put it in a basket wet, but depending on how long he takes to check, the clothes could get mildewy, although it would likely happen only once.
You could also throw it in the dryer and put in in a basket when done. Leave it there. Don't carry it anywhere else. |
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scoobers
Why, YES!, I am a princess.
PeaNut 417,049
March 2009
Posts: 12,869
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 8:53:30 PM
I fight this battle with my son. I stopped finishing the loads for him and gave him Sundays to get laundry done. If on Monday there is laundry in either machine, it is all gathered, put in a basket together and put back in his room.
He cannot use the machines until the next Sunday. If he wants to finish those loads, he has to go to the laundry mat. I told him if he continues to do this, I will not allow him to do any laundry at home.
Makes you want to slap them upside the head doesn't it?
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_Betsy_
AncestralPea
PeaNut 153,004
June 2004
Posts: 4,081
Layouts: 22
| Posted: 3/1/2013 9:06:18 PM
Tell him he's no longer welcome to use your machines. He'll have to find a time to get to the laundromat.
He has failed to comply with simple rules. He needs a consequence. | |
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Scrappinnut01
PeaAddict
PeaNut 101,443
August 2003
Posts: 1,283
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 9:06:44 PM
I've already done as you've suggested. I've taken his wrinked clothes from the dryer and dumped them on his bedroom floor along with his wet clothes from the washer. It doesn't seem to matter to him.
If it doesn't matter to him, and they are in his room, why does it matter to you? Once I dumped them in his room, I wouldn't give them another thought. | |
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BrinaG
PeaFixture
PeaNut 205,553
May 2005
Posts: 3,512
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/1/2013 9:08:09 PM
make him take his clothes to the nearest laundrymat. | |
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Mary Kay Lady
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 367,913
March 2008
Posts: 2,559
Layouts: 0
Loc: The state of Confusion!
| Posted: 3/1/2013 9:17:48 PM
Thanks for your input on this situation. I think you're right, it's time for him to go to the laundry mat. He's acting like the rules don't apply to him.
I'm just wondering how long it will take him to realize that some of his clothes are missing? You know, the ones I'm holding hostage?!? | |
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freecharlie
Is the pool open yet?
PeaNut 109,127
September 2003
Posts: 19,504
Layouts: 4
Loc: Colorado
| Posted: 3/1/2013 9:18:12 PM
Unplug them when you are not home/flip the breaker? |
| Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you | |
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voltagain
OklaPhoma
PeaNut 18,334
July 2001
Posts: 35,318
Layouts: 15
Loc: State of cultural confusion. Yeehaw and Aloha have collided!
| Posted: 3/1/2013 9:21:38 PM
If you are going to take his clothes hostage don't leave them at home with him. He will eventually find them. Put them in your trunk and take them with you.
When he asks about them tell him they are up for sale. $5 for pant. $5 per shirt. $2 per pair of socks and $2 per underpants. Anything not bought by the next pay period will be going to goodwill. The next time it happens the clothes will be going to the trash (and not your trash) and he can pay full pop to replace them.
If he were attending college somewhere and left them in the dorm machines they would be GONE. Someone else would have happily dried them and taken them for their own. He would be having to buy new clothes for leaving them sitting unattended. That is a natural consequence of leaving your stuff unattended and in someone else's way. |
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Mary Kay Lady
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 367,913
March 2008
Posts: 2,559
Layouts: 0
Loc: The state of Confusion!
| Posted: 3/1/2013 9:28:23 PM
Voltagain, I like your idea. His clothes are currently for sale. Hahaha!
I'll be leaving tomorrow to go to an all day crop, so I won't be here when he's getting ready for work. I wonder if he'll miss them tomorrow?
Scoobers, you're right, it does make me want smack him along side the head. *sigh*
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Ouiser
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 196,226
March 2005
Posts: 8,919
Layouts: 0
Loc: in the South
| Posted: 3/1/2013 10:14:36 PM
I put directions on an index card and taped them to the washer and the dryer. My kids started doing their own laundry at about 10. After I got over the initial shock of them not caring if the stuff was wrinkled or not, I was ok. It didn't take long for them to not care for the wrinkled look either. LOL When both of them went off for college, they were amazed at the kids that didn't have a clue of how to do their own. |
| http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/Ouiser | |
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AimeeInOhio
Artsy-Crafty chick in Ohio
PeaNut 139,268
March 2004
Posts: 6,446
Layouts: 62
Loc: Lima, Ohio
| Posted: 3/1/2013 11:05:21 PM
He would not be doing laundry at home any more. My daughter was washing her guinea piggie stuff in the washer, but not cleaning it out- not shaking the fleece out outdoors first, and not cleaning the piggie hair and hay bits off the seal of my machine. After talking, yelling, begging for 2 months, she's no longer allowed to wash it at home. She takes it to the laundromat. Sometimes she brings it home and throws it in the dryer, but sometimes she chooses to dry it there, too.
Using the equipment I paid for and maintain is a privilage, and since she cannot respect it, she doesn't get to use it.
I'd do the same with your son, he is an ADULT and should respect your wishes. |
****Aimee****
Certified Disney Vacation Planner
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