What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time?

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Posted 5/3/2013 by Pretty In PeaNK in NSBR Board
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Pretty In PeaNK

PeaNut 417,489
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Posted: 5/3/2013 7:23:14 PM
What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time 5, 10, or 20 years?

"How are we going to get rid of racism? Stop talking about it!"--Morgan Freeman

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Posted: 5/3/2013 7:27:41 PM
Save your money!


If life is a journey, shouldn't you be moving along?

How about you, Lash LaRue?

PeaNut 51,689
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Posted: 5/3/2013 7:29:03 PM
OMG. Now that I have a 15yo DD and I think back to all the things I was doing at her age, I really wish I could go back and live my teenage years all over again.

30 years back: I would advise myself 15yo self NOT to become friends with certain girls who were such bad influences. I would advise myself to put more effort into my school work.

20 years back: I would advise my 25yo self to be smarter with money.

Just Tricia

PeaNut 72,877
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Posted: 5/3/2013 7:31:34 PM
Geez, what WOULDN'T I change? LOL. Biggest thing would be to finish college.

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Twins Rock

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Posted: 5/3/2013 7:33:36 PM
Go with your gut and show up that party the boyfriend said not to go to and catch the cheating sob in the act instead of wasting 2 more years!


PeaNut 32,327
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Posted: 5/3/2013 7:34:14 PM
Don't play it safe!

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 37,012
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Posted: 5/3/2013 7:34:15 PM
I would tell myself to go to college and not spend so much money. Both of those decisions have had big impacts on my life that nobody could convince me of 20-25 years ago.

Um, this is Two Peas. First world problems are the subject of approximately 93.17% of the threads here. It's our specialty. -Busypea

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PeaNut 38,879
May 2002
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Posted: 5/3/2013 7:49:38 PM
Wear your retainer.


PEA-T-A-Mom's kitteh is a fraidy cat.

PeaNut 90,665
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Posted: 5/3/2013 7:53:34 PM
Don't be afraid to tell the truth about how you feel and what you think even if it isn't happiness and roses!


I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

2 Headed Tasmanian Pea

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Posted: 5/3/2013 7:58:29 PM
Don't smoke and keep exercising!



PeaNut 3,015
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:07:21 PM
Wow...so much

As a teen, you are not fat and have some confidence in yourself.

20's - DON'T SETTLE, you can do way better, have some fun, TRAVEL and see the world, don't spend your money on stupid shit.

30's - don't make some business decisions that you made

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 452,048
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:08:54 PM
I wouldn't change any of the decisions I made because they made me what I am today. I would change one particular moment in time though. My dh, inlaws, and dh's grandmother all went to see Saving Private Ryan together. Afterwards we had dinner at Red Lobster. My mil stopped to use the restroom on the way out and my dh's grandmother said she would wait on her. I walked out with my dh and fil. I wish I would have stayed with dh's grandmother. She ended up walking out on her own and got her foot caught in a crack on the sidewalk, fell, and broke her hip. She had surgery that night, but she had complications in the recovery room and died a week later. I will always wonder 'what if.' She was very fit for her age, no health issues. Any one of us could have got our foot caught in that crack.


Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 289,166
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:08:57 PM
Finish getting my 4 year degree when I started. Still don't have it.

Stay in the job market, at least part-time. Trying to re-enter after being a SAHM for years is proving very difficult.


PeaNut 380,372
June 2008
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:17:01 PM
Don't be so trusting and listen to your mother!


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PeaNut 179,915
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:24:30 PM
1) stay in school (college)!!
2) save your money and don't spend it frivously!
3) stand up for yourself and don't ever be a push-over!

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Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 497,090
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:24:44 PM
I would tell my high school self to drop orchestra, and change my mailing address to my aunt's home, and to stash every bit of money I could get my hands on. study harder.

and REFUSE to go to nursing school.

20s Stay the heck away from that cheating ashat, and finish getting the degree I went to school for.

30s Yes there is something wrong with my son and you all are not helping.


PeaNut 266,627
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:35:55 PM
I'm 55 so I'll go back 30 years....finish college. No matter what degree, but i should have studied nursing because that would have been a good career for me. No matter what mom said.

And I should have journaled. I've forgotten so much.


PeaNut 23,080
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:38:35 PM
I should have kept looking for a job after college in my field... and not settled.

Bring me that horizon!

PeaNut 239,162
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:41:19 PM
Step away from the ice cream.

Carey Ayn

PeaNut 41,258
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:52:05 PM
30 years-Elementary school: just because you aren't good at math, and your dad doesn't "get you" it doesn't mean you are dumb.

25 years--High school: whether you like it or not, grades matter...and you are smarter and stronger than you think.

20 years-College: don't eat and spend so much. You have a ton of potential. Don't waste it.

Ten years- go to the gym. Today.

Five years- it goes by so fast.

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 43,893
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Posted: 5/3/2013 8:57:48 PM
If I could go back 25 years I would tell my younger self that I did not 'have' to get married and could lead quite a full life with or without 'marriage'

I think marriage was focused on too much for girls then. I've raised my DD to feel whole as herself with or without a partner.

Flightless bird & baby Oiler fanatic

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Posted: 5/3/2013 9:08:09 PM

If I could go back 25 years I would tell my younger self that I did not 'have' to get married and could lead quite a full life with or without 'marriage'

Substitute her 25 for my 15, and it'd be the exact same for me.


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Posted: 5/3/2013 9:10:46 PM
It's going to be OK. Just breathe.


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Posted: 5/3/2013 9:13:00 PM
I would tell myself that it's ok not to have a boyfriend and or be in a relationship.

I finally learned this in my 30s. From the time I started dating when I was 15, I always had a boyfriend & someone in the wings so I would have a date for things.

I met the love of my life (my DH) at a time when I was totally alone in a small city where I got job after law school. No boyfriend, no dates, did a lot by myself & it wasn't the end of the world.
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To the right, To the right

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Posted: 5/3/2013 9:17:43 PM
25 years ago --- don't be so quick to decide what you want to do with your life. Explore your options more. DON'T CHOOSE EDUCATION! (Nothing wrong with the teaching profession, but it stresses me out way too much.)

20 years ago --- be more self confident. Accept that you are who God made you to be, and don't be so worried about what others think.


"The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government -- lest it come to dominate our lives and interests."
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Posted: 5/3/2013 9:18:00 PM
Put the fork down, fatty.


Macro PhotograPea

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Posted: 5/3/2013 9:18:02 PM
Don't take things sooooo seriously. Relax and enjoy the moment!


UpNorth Scrapper
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Posted: 5/3/2013 9:35:29 PM
Don't use tanning beds.


Carolina dorkburger

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Posted: 5/3/2013 9:37:56 PM
Smoke more weed, have more sex, and for God's sake, major in something more useful than English.


*Clever Pea Title Here*

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Posted: 5/3/2013 9:37:58 PM
Make it 26 years, and it would be get my Master's degree and don't go back to the cheating sob.



PeaNut 328,901
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Posted: 5/3/2013 10:22:06 PM
At least apply to a couple of four year colleges instead of saying "there's no way I could ever get in."

ETA - Buy the sports car. Don't wait till you're 50. Get it now.

Stop caring about what other people think. Their opinions don't matter.

Lisa =^..^=

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Posted: 5/3/2013 10:22:55 PM
30 years - hand the camera to hubby so I'm in some of the photos especially when I was young and thin.
20-10 years ago. Don't buy so much stuff

Typical Liberal

PeaNut 221,236
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Posted: 5/3/2013 10:33:42 PM
Relax. 90% if the things you worry about are ridiculous and another 8% are highly unlikely.

Grow up and do what you think is best for you instead of worrying about what your parents will think.

Oh, and don't eat that. Or that. Or any of those.

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PeaNut 82,318
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Posted: 5/3/2013 11:06:03 PM
20 years ago: don't focus so much on your boyfriend, focus on your school work! (I was in college)
10 and 5 years ago: no advice, I wouldn't do anything different -- wonderful years!!


PeaNut 3,015
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Posted: 5/3/2013 11:12:24 PM

Smoke more weed, have more sex

Amen Sister!


PeaNut 30,073
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Posted: 5/3/2013 11:16:28 PM
I would tell myself:

Don't get married so young, or possibly don't get married ever.
Be wise with money.
It's very okay, to discard to toxic people from your life.
Buy a house. Then pay it off as quickly as possible.
Take lots of photos.
Choose a career with a pension or retirement plan.


PeaNut 503,391
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Posted: 5/3/2013 11:16:37 PM
I'm 53 so I would go back further.

Forty years: Focus on what you want to do in your life. Don't let societies expectations of girls limit you. Take chemistry, biology, and life science because they interest you. Don't use every elective to take Home Ec. because you are going to be a wife and mother. You can be that at more. In the future woman can do more than be a secretary, nurse, or teacher.

Thirty years: Are you loved in your relationship or do you just love them so much that you aren't noticing it is one way? You are not just a "helpmate" you are a whole person too with needs of your own and you deserve to be loved and happy. Get your teaching credential before getting married and feel the power of independence. You might find that the guy you are with isn't "the one" or it might change the dynamic in your relationship enough to make it healthy for both of you.

Twenty years: If your spouse is too busy in his life to support you in yours, don't wait for him to think about you. Be proactive and do something. Hire a baby sitter and go out with friends. Work toward the future because this baby and the ones to come will grow up and leave someday. Don't spend all your time trying to get him to love you. Love yourself!

Ten years: Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, your kids are at a great place. Believe in yourself and begin to focus on yourself along with your family.

Five years: Life is going to get really rough. Take responsibility for what is yours and let others be responsible for what is theirs. You can't control the universe but you can control you. Go easy on yourself and learn to give yourself a break because you aren't going to get any from anywhere else for a long long time.

One year: You are not responsible for the choices and happenings outside of yourself. Its okay to grieve. Its okay to still cry everyday for your brother. Your son is in juvenile hall and its okay because his brain isn't being bathed in chemicals. Your daughters are watching you to see how to handle life, you better take care of yourself better to set a good example. Oh and by the way, your husband is having an affair while you are killing yourself trying to save everyone you love. You are not God and you are not in control! Stop carrying all of this on your shoulders.

Perfectionist Pea

PeaNut 23,809
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Posted: 5/3/2013 11:23:31 PM
Great question!!

20 years ago me would have been 23. Wow. What I wouldn't give to be able to give myself some advice then. It would be...

1) CHILL OUT! Calm down. Speak less and listen more.

2) Start exercising now while you're still skinny. Watch your weight carefully while you are still able to lose it easily.

Other than my weight and maybe one stupid thing I did 15 years ago, I wouldn't change a thing about my life. It's all happened as it should have, I believe. Thankful for that.

The only happy ending will be mine

PeaNut 111,502
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Posted: 5/3/2013 11:28:41 PM
Go back 25 years and buy that house!
A friend and I were house sharing (renting) it was 4 bedroom in a great area. While we were living there it went up for sale ($120,000) and we toyed with the idea of buying it, both of us had enough saved for the deposit, so it wasn't just a dream, we actually could have done it. But it was too scary at the time and we thought we were too young.
Two years later it sold again for $480,000.

We should have taken the risk and bought and sold and at age 22 both of us would have walked away with close to $180,000 each.
We still talk about it now and periodically we say "should have brought that house!"


PeaNut 497,203
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Posted: 5/3/2013 11:31:10 PM
Stay out of the sun. Study hard. Smarts last longer than beauty.
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PeaNut 319,638
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Posted: 5/3/2013 11:48:14 PM
Ill go 15. Pick a more realistic major in college. One that you can actually get a job with! *smh*

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PeaNut 117,868
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Posted: 5/4/2013 12:31:11 AM
Don't spend so much money on scrapbooking stuff! Go digital! Use what you have up. (5 years)

Make the investments in real estate...buy that condo...(20 years).

Forget about Ann Taylor suits and Van Eli shoes. Buy from JC Penney. It all looks the same. (25 years)

Mother of a Bantam Travel Hockey Player and an Novice Showcase Figure Skater
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Posted: 5/4/2013 12:36:16 AM
I'd tell my high school self to take my grades more seriously ala Cher's "Snap out of it!" slap. Generally, I was a good student, but I went through a phase the first 3 years of HS and my grades suffered because of it. Finally woke up my senior year, but by then it was too late to go straight into college.

I'll never know why I slacked. I ended up doing a complete 180 in college and graduated Cum Laude.

- Crystal -

No matter where you go, there you are!

PeaNut 421,136
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Posted: 5/4/2013 12:37:53 AM
Stop caring about what other people think.

Go for the career you really wanted.

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 359,333
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Posted: 5/4/2013 1:16:37 AM
5 years ago to run away from my ex boyfriend.

20 years ago just to enjoy life more. I really did enjoy it but to play more and not stress. I laugh at the things I stressed about at 17. Life was bliss then compared to the trials now.


PeaNut 60,649
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Posted: 5/4/2013 1:28:16 AM
Nw it is pretty much what I should tell daughter.

She's amazing. I worry about her obviously.
Stay in school.
Be independent.

You are loved,

I want her to be strong independent. Do not settle. Educate. Career. Look ahead in carrer.

My president has 6-pack abs.

PeaNut 175,521
November 2004
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Posted: 5/4/2013 1:32:11 AM
I'm such a sap. Just thinking about my answers made me start to cry.

I think it all boils down to this: None of it is really going to matter. It's not going to matter what you wore, if your makeup was on right, if your hair looked okay, if the guy broke up with you, if you broke up with the guy, if you got an A in the class, if you took this job or that job--because in the end you are not your looks or who you're with or what you do. You're you. The most important thing in the world is to know who you are and to be you. That's what you will take with you in the end.

Judie in Oz
PEAing Upside Down

PeaNut 12,503
March 2001
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Posted: 5/4/2013 1:59:49 AM
Save more than you spend.



PeaNut 172,235
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Posted: 5/4/2013 3:25:02 AM

Stretch yourself more - it'll pay off even though it's a little tough at the time.

Move up the housing ladder faster/more often while you can.

Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.


PeaNut 48,795
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Posted: 5/4/2013 6:38:26 AM
my first knee jerk answer is to go to college right out of High School. But if I had done that I probably would not have been working that little job,and wouldn't have met the guy I married and had the wonderful 11 years with him before cancer took him away,I certainly wouldn't want for none of that to have happened including the 3 great kids we had. truly though if I had been planning to go to college,I probably wouldnt have had that job and really not sure our paths would have crossed enough anywhere else for us to get to know each other.

get life insurance on the dh.sad but true. we were going to be debt free the fall of 2001 and get each other life insurance for Christmas that year. he was diagnosed in late Aug before we got the chance. Id rather have had HIM than money,but the money would have helped a lot

I really wish I had stayed more active, I used to be on a bike a lot but that died off when I started driving and when I got out of HS I basically stopped. I used to run some too,but my knees are so bad that may have made things worse had I kept that up,but the biking? wish Id not stopped.course now I barely have time to even do anything but maybe Id make time if i still loved it like I used to.

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