Need advice on how to deal with co-worker.

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Posted 10/6/2013 by Luv2Scrap&Stamp in NSBR Board
 

Luv2Scrap&Stamp
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Posted: 10/6/2013 1:47:01 AM
We are on a business trip and have to room together. She is so whiney, and it's all about "her" type attitude she is driving me crazy. If I'm watching a show, she shuts off the tv = she finds the show offensive, it was 2 1/2 men or how I met your mother. THen she complains about the temperature. It is set at 69. Then she complained about how long I was going to be up on my computer.

How would you handle this? I have the tv so low I can't even hear it and I have very good hearing. The lights are off in the room. BUt the typing on my key board also annoys her.

I've done everything she wanted for the last 4 nights but tonight I wanted to do something I wanted. I have left the tv off, and all her other complaints I gave into. Tonight, however I feel like she can just deal with it.

Do I talke with my boss and tell him she needs to room with someone else next time or leave it alone? Thanks for the advice.

jgpea
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 10/6/2013 1:54:09 AM
Yes, I would address this situation with my boss...there's no reason for anyone to put up with that...

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sunny 5
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Posted: 10/6/2013 1:54:10 AM
I would tell your boss you must have your own room. period. I wouldn't put up with this.

doesitmatter?
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Posted: 10/6/2013 2:05:06 AM
It depends - what did she want the temp at? Could you guys set it half way between what each of you anted?

I can see her being offended by the sexual/crude nature of 2 1/2 men (I don't watch it for that reason), and bothered by HIMYM, but I can't see making a huge issue of it.... maybe the answer was you each pick 1 show for the evening?

Needs to be about compromise.


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Posted: 10/6/2013 2:09:18 AM
What is she doing while you are on your laptop? Is she trying to sleep? Are your bedtimes the same?


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Posted: 10/6/2013 2:20:57 AM
I would be frank with her. You've done things her way for four nights. It is your turn to do things you want to do. If the sound of a keyboard keeps her up she needs to stop at a pharmacy and buy some ear plugs and a sleep mask so soft lights and soft noises don't bother her. Then she can sleep or do whatever it is and you can watch tv and mess around on the computer.

Depending on my relationship with my boss I probably would bring it up the next time we have to room together (before the trip starts)


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cropduster
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Posted: 10/6/2013 2:29:16 AM
Is there a lobby you can hang out in to play on your laptop? I recently went on a trip with some girlfriends. We all roomed together. Two of us like to read in bed and the other two prefer to go to sleep right away in the dark. The two of us who like to read talked about hanging out in the lobby with our books until we got sleepy, but decided it would disturb our friends when we came back to the room. So we wound up going to sleep right away. But the option was there. And I won't forget my Kindle next time.

Definitely speak with your boss when you get back. I wish you luck!


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Jockscrap
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Posted: 10/6/2013 2:35:17 AM
She sounds really annoying, but from what you have said, you don't sound an ideal roomy either. Some perfectly lovely people are still best in their own space. I'm not sure if I have picked you up correctly but it seems that you have the TV on while you are on the laptop. I can see that even with the sound turned right down, the flickering of the lights on the screen could stop a light sleeper from falling asleep, or just be generally irritating and unneccassary. Do you really need to watch a programme so badly that you would watch it knowing it was annoying someone else in the room and you can't listen to it anyway? Sorry, but I think you are being just as difficult as her over the tv issue. Get someone at home to record it, if it's a programme you absolutely can't miss.

I don't think it is unreasonable for you to be on your laptop. Your early to bed roomy can't expect you to sit and do nothing all evening. Is there a lounge area you could go to where you are staying to give you both a bit of space?

I would explain to my boss if you go away that sharing a room just doesn't work for the two of you.



M in Carolina
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Posted: 10/6/2013 2:55:30 AM
I'm an adult. I'm not sharing a room with anyone on a business trip. No way, no how. That immature crap would drive me bonkers.

If the company is doing so badly they can't afford a room for each employee, I'd not be going. I'd change jobs over that.

They wouldn't expect men to share rooms.

In all the years dh has traveled for work, he's never even been asked to share. Because nobody would do it.



Luv2Scrap&Stamp
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Posted: 10/6/2013 3:14:18 AM
I was trying to watch some tv and unwind. I tried several different shows and she didn't like any of them. So I finally just shut the tv off and got on my computer. Then about 15 min later she said can't you just go to bed? It was only 10:00 pm and we don't have to get up early tomorrow. She wanted the room at 79 degrees. Way too hot for me. She didn't want to compromise. I finally just said I had to lower it because it was too uncomfortable for me. I also offered her a set of ear plugs, she said they bothered her ears. I've roomed with her before but it was only a couple nights and I just dealt with it. But I'm feeling like I'm the only one doing compromise. She is not a child, she is in her mid thirties!

BeckyTech
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Posted: 10/6/2013 3:33:23 AM
I was once informed that I would be sharing a room for a weeklong trip. I told them that I wasn't in summer camp, or a college dorm room, I was an adult on a business trip.

I coughed up the money for my own hotel accommodations for the week. It was well worth it to me. And yes, that was one of the reasons I later left the company.

I had been spoiled by a previous boss who said he never asked his people to do something he was unwilling to do himself.

Woobster
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Posted: 10/6/2013 7:46:56 AM
While I can understand that TV shows and typing on a laptop can be annoying, I think your co-worker is being a bit ridiculous.

79 degrees in the room? No way!

I'd be speaking with my boss pronto. If she's that sinsitive, she needs her own room.

GrinningCat
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Posted: 10/6/2013 8:03:29 AM
Well, getting another room was my only suggestion considering you're both adults (well, she's questionable). It's hard to take a company seriously that expects adult coworkers to share a room.

PinkShirley
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Posted: 10/6/2013 8:06:05 AM
    I'm an adult. I'm not sharing a room with anyone on a business trip. No way, no how. That immature crap would drive me bonkers.

    If the company is doing so badly they can't afford a room for each employee, I'd not be going. I'd change jobs over that.


^^^ THIS ^^^

I would not be traveling for any company if I had to share a hotel room. Travel can be exciting and wonderful. At the end of the day it can be stressful and exhausting.

Definitely talk to your boss about "next time". I would also pony up my own funds for another room if I had to put up with that crap for 4 nights. What a tool.

Christine58
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Posted: 10/6/2013 8:06:27 AM

I'm an adult. I'm not sharing a room with anyone on a business trip. No way, no how. That immature crap would drive me bonkers.




I agree!! I go on some business/Teachers' Union trips and we all get our own rooms. I'd be going to get my own room even if I had to pay for it.



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jennifw
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Posted: 10/6/2013 8:08:16 AM

It's hard to take a company seriously that expects adult coworkers to share a room.


This. I have never heard of professional workers having to share a room on a business trip without it being their choice. If you do talk to your boss, make it about that. You would sound like the whiney one if you say she didn't like your tv show, etc.

I would probably refuse to travel if I had to share a room with a co-worker.

GrammarGirl
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Posted: 10/6/2013 8:15:25 AM
I have a friend who works in the tv industry in LA (for a big name talk show host) who told me it was against the law to make adults share a room on a business trip. I don't know if that's true, but perhaps looking into if it's a big problem.



rosiekat
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Posted: 10/6/2013 8:26:04 AM
At least in my husband's industry, it seems the norm to require people to share rooms (same gender only). I remember at one company, even the president would share. I suspect it's kind of an industry-specific thing. These do tend to be companies with more of a startup mentality (even when they aren't still startups, lol), so that may be a part of it.

I would just suck it up for the rest of this trip, but talk to your boss before the next trip. It sounds like you're both people with very strong preferences.


Jen


yoko
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Posted: 10/6/2013 8:28:43 AM
There is no way I would share a room with a co-worker.

I am just like your annoying roomie, though. I go to sleep by 10. I like the room warm. I would veto Two and a Half Men. And-- I wake up with no alarm clock at 5:30 and like to turn on the news. You would really hate me.

How much longer is your trip? Cough up some $ and get your own room!


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styxgirl
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Posted: 10/6/2013 9:38:50 AM
My work sends people on business trips constantly. I have never heard of people being asked to share a room.

Maybe they think you like to share?

Next time your boss tell you of a trip, request your own room.


Nicole

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Posted: 10/6/2013 10:26:56 AM
how strange so many people wouldn't (you would if you needed a jo or doesn't think you should ever share rooms. Walmart requires everyone to share a room and we're talking Best Westerns, not 5 star hotels. Even the high leve executives.


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doesitmatter?
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Posted: 10/6/2013 10:31:14 AM
Yeah- seems pretty bad when two adult women can't share a hotel room- but it seems you two cant

And fwiw - 79 wound make me cry lol... Too hot!
I could handle the tv stuff - if go with whatever she wanted on/off or shows but the temp would make me cry lol.


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LemonaideLinda
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Posted: 10/6/2013 11:03:37 AM
Sounds like an awful trip from start to finish.

She needs to have to room with someone like me - I fart and snore in my sleep.
She'd be begging for her own room in no time!

BeckyTech
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Posted: 10/6/2013 11:10:33 AM

Even the high leve executives.
That's just it. Our bosses were not sharing. We had never been required to share before. Just for this one trip when everyone in our division was going. Bah!

Luv2Scrap&Stamp
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Posted: 10/6/2013 11:49:23 AM
She is very sensitive, she complains about the neighbors and EVERYTHING. She even unplugged the lights and tv today. I asked her why and she said she didn't want them on. She did apologize this morning for being "cranky". So I feel better. She roomed with two other people and they refuse to room with her now. I think I'll wait to talk to my boss. I'm thinking being this is her third trip and each time she didn't like her room mate that she will talk to our boss and tell him how unhappy she was and I won't need to. I'll see if she does or not. Either way, tonight is our last night together and we won't have another trip for two months. So I'm going to suck it up..

cropduster
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Posted: 10/6/2013 12:18:26 PM
I'm pretty easy going, so I can pretty much go with the flow. But the 79 degree temperature would send me over the edge. That is suffocating to me! I can't imagine!

Here is hoping your boss will see the light and never let her room with you again. If I was your boss, I would make HER pay for her own room. As another Pea said, what a tool.


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msbee
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Posted: 10/6/2013 12:34:32 PM
oh hell no to the 79 degrees.

it's very selfish of her to expect you to adjust your life to her whims when it is a shared space. The fact that two other employees refuse to room with her speaks volumes. If you are not willing to lay down an ultimatium with your boss then look at other options.

If you do get stuck rooming with her again I would tell her in no uncertain terms, "last time we roomed you were very uncomfortable and made me uncomfortable. We are both adults. I can't tolerate sleeping in the high temps you like so you should bring warmer pjs. I am not a go to sleep at 10 pm person. You may want to bring an eye mask and your ipood. I will do my best to keep the tv low. Since the computer keys bother you maybe a small white noise machine will help you with that. I know you don't want a repeat of the last trip with both of us not happy."



cmpeter
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Posted: 10/6/2013 12:40:42 PM
Yikes on the 79...I usually turn the thermostat down to 69 in a hotel room. Dh and I both travel for work and have never been required to share a room. I wouldn't be comfortable with that type of arrangement at all.


Cindi

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Posted: 10/6/2013 12:48:56 PM
And that's why I didn't go to an optional conference this past June. It was a professional development type thing and the university I work for paid for part of it up to so much. After that you had to pay. My coworkers who were going decided they wanted to save as much as possible and shoved four into one room and shared beds. If I had gone it would have been five and someone would have been sleeping on the floor. NO WAY. I can't share a bed with anyone but my dh and dd and even that is difficult. I'm like your coworker and a very light sleeper so the tv and keyboard might have been an issue (though I could have dealt with it at 10pm by 11 or 12 I might have been going crazy. Nobody should have to put up with sharing a room with me and I sure the heck didn't want to have to share with four other people. So I didn't go (wasn't very interested in it anyway).

Who the heck could sleep at 79? I'd be nauseous trying to sleep in that.


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Annabella
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Posted: 10/6/2013 12:51:25 PM
I've never had to share a room with a co-worker on a business trip.




hollymolly
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Posted: 10/6/2013 3:55:44 PM
Honestly, I couldn't share with either of you. There is no way I could do my job if I didn't have a private place to go back to at the end of the day. I need more sleep than the average person, and if I don't get it, I get grumpy. After a few days of inadequate sleep, I get sick. If I get sick, I stay sick for a week. My sleep is vital to me.

I also do not deal well with being around people all the time. I need a decent amount of alone time every day just to function. I would not work for a company that required me to share a room on business trips. I couldn't.

Margeux
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Posted: 10/6/2013 5:13:11 PM
I can so relate to this. I would invest in a mask for her as to hide the light from her eyes, and a pack of those wonderful pink earplugs, so she won't have to hear the tv. In addition, there are usually extra blankets in the closet; armoire. After 4 days, I'd have enough!


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Christine58
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Posted: 10/6/2013 5:17:14 PM
WAIT...she UNPLUGGED the TV and lights??? She's f-ing nuts. LOL



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Posted: 10/6/2013 5:19:57 PM
I would get my own room. No question.


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Posted: 10/6/2013 5:21:23 PM
And I like my room at 62 so no way could I handle 79. Honestly you couldn't pay me to share a room with someone I didn't like.


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bugluver
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Posted: 10/6/2013 5:25:17 PM
I am surprised how many people say they would never share a room. I have worked for textbook publishing companies that require sales people to share rooms, gift wholesalers that require sales people to share rooms and both car dealerships DH has worked for have required their people to share rooms for training. It is not fun but we suck it up and do it.

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Posted: 10/6/2013 9:29:59 PM

I hope the night passes quickly for you. She sounds like she's hard to live with. If you have to travel on business again with her I'd insist on my own room.



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Epeanymous
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Posted: 10/6/2013 9:34:57 PM
The temperature thing is ridiculous, and I think that if the tv is going to be on, the two of you should be compromising on what to watch, either by alternating shows or finding things that are mutually agreeable.

I am sympathetic to her on the going to bed early thing, though. I am only up past 10:00 on rare occasions and would be pretty cranky if I were being kept up later. I imagine my hypothetical hotel roommate wouldn't be so thrilled if I flipped on the TV at 5AM when I got up either, though.

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Posted: 10/6/2013 9:54:18 PM
I ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS get a private room. I pay extra for it when needed. It's worth it to me. If my job won't pay for it, I pay the difference. I can't stand sharing rooms with anyone other than my husband. I hope you can either get a different room mate or better, your own room in the future!

mikklynn
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Posted: 10/6/2013 10:12:32 PM
My company requires us to share a room with someone from another district at the annual meeting!! Yes, a complete stranger.

I refuse to go. I need my own room.


Lynn



Luv2Scrap&Stamp
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Posted: 10/6/2013 10:58:44 PM
We don't have a choice on sharing unless we want to pay for our own room . I was actually on my I pad and the tv was off when she freaked out on me, there were no lights in either. I did buy her ear plugs, (orange ) she said ear ploughs bother her ears . She said this morning she heard noises from all around us. I think she's just nuts . Probably why she had no relationships in her life. We were on a day trip with our boss a week ago and she whined so much he told her to knock it off. She complains a lot so I'm almost positive she will ask for someone else, she is almost out of options. I really feel bad for her.


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tabatha
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Posted: 10/7/2013 9:50:05 AM
I would insist on my own room when traveling for business. I can't imagine sharing such a private space with a virtual stranger, especially such an annoying one.
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Posted: 10/7/2013 9:53:49 AM
She sounds too high maintenance to be sharing a room. I understand that the TV can bother her if she is trying to sleep. I would find The Jerry Springer Show or the Kardashians too offensive to bear so I get that as well. But 4 nights of what she wants and 1 of what you want is more than reasonable.

IleneScraps
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Posted: 10/7/2013 9:55:51 AM
I would definitely talk tot he boss about not sharing a room with her again (or anyone, actually).

If she was complaining about the noise becuase it was late, though, and she was trying to sleep, then it makes sense.




Sunny1213
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Posted: 10/7/2013 11:31:05 AM
In my job I was always required to share a room until I reached management. Men shared with men, women shared with women. Sometimes it was for a week at a time. The first time I went to training and had to share a room it was awful. From there on out I chose to just pay for my own room wherever we were going. I would still get the discount for the training, but I paid for my own room. That made it so I didn't have to be bothered by someone else. Besides, I snore and I leave the TV on at night. I didn't want to bother anyone else with how I am either. Ever since I started paying for my own room, I've noticed other employees do the same thing because they don't want to be forced to share either.

Basket1lady
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Posted: 10/7/2013 11:55:35 AM
I definitely wouldn't share with her again. If it comes up, I would laugh and just say, "you don't like rooming with me, remember? I'm a night owl and like the room too cold." And I WOULD NOT room with her again.


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Posted: 10/7/2013 12:47:48 PM
If she pisses and moans about EVERY little thing so badly that the boss told her to knock it off during daylight hours WHY does she go on business trips again? NO ONE likes rooming with her. Sounds like it's best to leave that one back at the office!

Now I'm a night-owl like you and can sleep through anything when I'm tired enough. It takes me awhile to wind down though. TV shows like Two and a half men or HIMYM would not offend me in the least nor would the light from your laptop. 79 degrees is WAY too hot! In two months be sure to tell the boss that YOU don't want to room with Miss Priss anymore either. You suffered the last two trips so it's someone elses turn. If the company refuses to book her a single room, then let someone else take their turn dealing with her.




maryannscraps
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Posted: 10/7/2013 12:54:21 PM
I've never had to share a room on a business trip. I don't even like sharing a room with my husband (he snores) -- forget some coworker.

I'd speak up with your boss and say your schedules conflict too much (night owl/early bird.)

eebud
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Posted: 10/7/2013 3:23:37 PM

She complains a lot so I'm almost positive she will ask for someone else, she is almost out of options.

I would not wait for her to complain. I would make it clear to my boss that I was not sharing a room with her in the future. I don't like the idea of having to share a room and have never had to before when I traveled for work. Not saying I absolutely wouldn't but I wouldn't like it. Heck, I am not even that fond of sharing a car but I can live with that especially if the hotel is in a location where I can easily walk to a number of restaurants.





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