Husbands needs...

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Posted 10/6/2013 by SheWhoPeasAlot in NSBR Board


PeaNut 29,183
February 2002
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Loc: Washington

Posted: 10/6/2013 10:08:23 AM
What kind of little things do you do for your husband to let him know he's important to you? I need some ideas for new things I can do.




PeaNut 93,895
July 2003
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Posted: 10/6/2013 10:16:18 AM
Give him free time.
Put gas in the car/get the oil changed.

I try to think of things that he "has" to do as the man of the house, and then if I am able to do them, do that. Like, I can't rewire the ceiling fan, lol, but I can gas up the cars and mow the back yard every so often.

That lets him know that I value him and his contributions, and want to lighten his load a little bit. I also listen intently when he talks to me. Men are not generally talkers, so when my husband starts a conversation with me (even if it's to tell a story I've already heard, or complain about his work), I take note. I pay attention and add thoughtful comments, and that really lets him know I care about him and his world.


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PeaNut 27,167
January 2002
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Loc: Just barely on the edge of reason in Allen, Tx

Posted: 10/6/2013 10:16:35 AM
I leave short love notes in his wallet. I warm up his towel in the dryer while he is in the shower. I scratch his back when we are sitting next to each other in bed. I rarely spurn his advances...I have to be sick for me to say no. If I see a sports magazine at the checkout stand that he would like, I pick it up for him. Most importantly, I never let a day go by without telling him that he has blessed my life beyond measure.

As much as I do to make him feel loved, he does so much more for me. We are good to each it should be!

Motto of a powerful woman:

Live your life in such a way that when you get up in the morning and your feet hit the floor...Satan shudders and says "Oh shit...she's awake!"


PeaNut 221,255
August 2005
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Posted: 10/6/2013 10:17:11 AM
I've made cards and booked special weekends nearby at romantic B&B's.

I've seen the coupon books with vouchers for back rubs, dinner in bed, etc (you could be more explicit with your coupon offers) and thought they were cute, but not made one.


PeaNut 183,117
January 2005
Posts: 3,838
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Loc: Middle of the USA

Posted: 10/6/2013 10:30:36 AM
It's recognizing the little things and then just doing them for him because you WANT to. Find what makes things easier for him and take care of them.

I text him several times a day when we are both at work to send him hugs and kisses and see how his day is going.

I always tell him I love him.

I notice when he does things for me and say thank you.

What a great thread!



PeaNut 265,518
June 2006
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Loc: mid New York state

Posted: 10/6/2013 10:39:39 AM
i say thank you, a lot. i try to notice and be - verbally - appreciative when he cleans, mows, picks up or cooks.

i compliment his cooking (he is really a very good cook) and compliment his cooking (or whatever) in public - ie i am proud of him.

i rub his shoulders or pet his hair and just generally touch him in small affectionate ways.

i try to keep laundry done and the house picked up and favorite treats around for him. (lately the housecleaning has not worked out so well...sigh)

.. .. ..

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PeaNut 594,414
September 2013
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Posted: 10/6/2013 11:55:35 AM
Have you ever read about the 5 love languages? That always helps me when I am trying to think of things to do for hubby. Cause he likes different things than I do.

I like to pick up magazines, or even just making him a sweet treat, like a small cake that he knows I don't like but he loves.
Clean the inside of the car, vacuum it out

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PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
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Loc: England UK

Posted: 10/6/2013 12:09:26 PM
My Dh loves to fix/mend/sort things out for me so I always make a point of thanking him or making sure he's knows I've noticed when he's done something like that.

I make a point to say I love him with meaning, while I have his attention - as opposed to just muttering "yeah, love you" as I'm doing something and he's on his way out of the door.

Do meals I know he especially likes sometimes.

Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.


PeaNut 585,646
April 2013
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Loc: Salem, NJ

Posted: 10/6/2013 12:14:41 PM
I wrote my husband a funny poem/sonnet once, with a flair pen on fancy paper and sealed it with a wax seal. The poem thing was really cheesy, but u think he appreciated the fact that I did such an unusual thing to say I love you, just because. Lol.

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PeaNut 510,579
June 2011
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Loc: The Land of Steady Habits

Posted: 10/6/2013 2:19:10 PM
My husband likes to feel his needs are important to me. So I try to keep his favorite snacks around and keep his toiletries well stocked. It's such a small thing but he really appreciates it.

"People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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PeaNut 568,351
October 2012
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Posted: 10/6/2013 2:22:09 PM
I buy him cards a lot just to say I love you. And I will give him a foot rub.

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PeaNut 51,429
October 2002
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Loc: Where dreams come true

Posted: 10/6/2013 2:40:18 PM
Some of the things are already listed.

I make his lunch when I make mine in the mornings. Sometimes I tuck little notes inside.

I bring him his coffee in bed (I am always up first).

I take self-portraits just for him.

I initiate as often as he does.

I give him the last bite of a special treat (and if you remember Friends and that Joey does not share food, neither does Cathy usually).

We hold hands in public, or I'll take his arm.

I make and bring him little snacks if he is watching t.v.

I try to wear attractive and flattering clothes, jewelry and footwear and put on at least a minimum of make up (and always wear perfume which he loves) even if we are just at home, but always when we are going out even just grocery shopping or something. I know he appreciates it when I take care with my appearance. (And I do it for myself as well).

I'll call him at work just to say 'hi' and to tell him that I love him.

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PeaNut 27,167
January 2002
Posts: 11,149
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Loc: Just barely on the edge of reason in Allen, Tx

Posted: 10/6/2013 3:38:20 PM
I gotta say...I am a little surprised at how many views there are with only 11 replies. Surely there are more peas in peadom that have little ways of making their husbands feel loved and appreciated.

I love to read these kind of threads because so often all you will hear are women bitching about their husbands. I used to one of them with my first husband. Shame on me.

It is a pleasure to read that other wives appreciate and adore their husbands as well. husband told me recently that one of the sweetest I have said to him was that I adore him. is a lovely word!

Motto of a powerful woman:

Live your life in such a way that when you get up in the morning and your feet hit the floor...Satan shudders and says "Oh shit...she's awake!"


PeaNut 280,247
October 2006
Posts: 1,979
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Loc: Norwood, MA

Posted: 10/6/2013 3:45:29 PM
I text or email him little notes when I'm thinking of him. I clean the house top to bottom if he's away all day/weekend and I'm home--he's neater than me and occasionally gets frustrated by my "clutter," so he loves when he comes home and the house is immaculate. Sometimes I just flash him or I purposely strip down in front of him when I need to change my clothes instead of just getting changed in the bedroom--he loves that! I save him a cookie/brownie/whatever when I'm baking them for an event, and I bring him home treats leftover from work. I run errands for him when I can. I acknowledge and thank him for things he does for me or for the house. I go to all of his band's shows (even though I'm not a bar person) and help out with whatever they might need. I am constantly telling him how happy he makes me and we're very affectionate.


PeaNut 147,457
May 2004
Posts: 316
Layouts: 11
Loc: Indiana

Posted: 10/6/2013 3:48:57 PM
i write notes for him on the bathroom mirror for his birthday, anniversaries, special days, etc. i try to bake or cook him something special on days that i know aren't going well for him at work. i try to remember when his favorite tv shows are starting again and when they are on during the week. i try to pick him up things i know he will like when i'm out of town (and if i am out of town for more than a few days i will send a note or card in the mail).

Charming when necessary.

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PeaNut 27,167
January 2002
Posts: 11,149
Layouts: 21
Loc: Just barely on the edge of reason in Allen, Tx

Posted: 10/6/2013 3:55:59 PM
Something else I do for special occasions...I buy the heart shaped post it notes and sneak out to cover his windows with them when he is in the shower at night. He discovers them in the morning and he always loves it.

Unleash the girls right in front of him...LOL! That is guaranteed to make your husband's eyes light up!

I am also the messier one so I cleaned house all day yesterday before he returned home from England. He was delighted when he came home exhausted to a clean apartment with fresh sheets that were turned back for us.

Motto of a powerful woman:

Live your life in such a way that when you get up in the morning and your feet hit the floor...Satan shudders and says "Oh shit...she's awake!"

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PeaNut 436,594
August 2009
Posts: 1,153
Layouts: 0
Loc: Oklahoma

Posted: 10/6/2013 5:38:51 PM
We tell each other "I love you" all the time and a lot of times it's in cute little ways that have gone on for years. I guess what I'm saying is we have tons of little "inside" jokes and things that we do. It's our private language, I guess.

I will pick him up something he's been wanting at the store.

I'll cook dinner for him which I'm not able to do very often for many reasons.

We both try to be very thoughtful so we're not annoyed because the toothpaste cap is left off or one person is always having to do the same chore.

We DVR shows and wait to watch them until we both can watch.

We take our dog for walks together. It's not a chore, it's a special time together.

We grab dinner and go to the park for a picnic on the spur of the moment.

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PeaNut 18,741
July 2001
Posts: 14,109
Layouts: 200
Loc: Maryland

Posted: 10/6/2013 6:32:02 PM
For my husband, the #1 thing I can do for him is give him my time: watching the TV shows he likes or the ones we like together (i.e., right now that includes Elementary, Big Bang Theory, Supernatural). I can keep myself busy with 101 other things and so I have to make an effort to sit down and be with him. And this is 100%, not on the computer/tablet/iPhone.

We also have found that instead of 'date night' we enjoy 'date weekend morning'. We run errands together, put fuel in his truck for the week, grab breakfast on the go at our favorite bagel place, etc. This time of year we go to the orchard and get fresh fruit for the week, right now that's apples.

Otherwise, he feels he asks enough of me by my working full time, taking care of the kids' needs, taking care of most of the household duties, making a meal a few times a week, getting his clothes washed, etc. Even some of these things he'll take care of himself when he needs to without any fuss.


Donna in GA
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PeaNut 60,695
January 2003
Posts: 9,048
Layouts: 2

Posted: 10/6/2013 7:53:12 PM
After reading this thread I asked my dh what is something I do that makes him feel loved and what is something I could do that would make him feel loved. He said he feels loved when I cook for him. He also said that I could cook more, but he said he knows I am slammed with work right now and do not have the time to cook like I used to.

I feel awful that my workload at school this year is taking so much time away from my family.


PeaNut 329,106
July 2007
Posts: 1,443
Layouts: 0

Posted: 10/6/2013 8:03:09 PM
All of the above and a sloppy BJ. Always appreciated.

Married 23 years, trust me.

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I don't know, and I couldn't care less..."
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