skeevy or not, 40+ year old men going by -y names :Johnny, Tommy, etc

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Posted 5/9/2014 by old pea new name in NSBR Board
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old pea new name

PeaNut 341,472
October 2007
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Posted: 5/9/2014 6:39:17 PM
So in the case where guys from high school referred to themselves as Tom and now go by "Tommy" , 25 years after graduation, do you find that odd? Like John's that revert to Johnny in their late 40's? It may be normal but this guy I know who met a "sugar" mamma suddenly goes by the -y ending, like a baby. He isn't a junior, and his kids are 10+ years old (not jr's either).

I guess it's like someone who wanted to be called Amanda as a teen suddenly going to Mandy in midlife.


PeaNut 85,140
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Posted: 5/9/2014 6:43:50 PM
Nope, not skeevy. Doesn't even ping my radar.


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PeaNut 287,526
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Posted: 5/9/2014 6:44:46 PM
They probably just gave up on having people call them by their regular names. My husband's family adds a -y or an -ie to the end of every cousin's name. My husband is one of many Georges, so his aunt still calls him Baby Georgie to distinguish him from the other Georgies. He can't escape the -ie.

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PeaNut 54,671
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Posted: 5/9/2014 6:45:43 PM
Nah, of all the things I find strange or skeevy, that doesn't make the list.


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PeaNut 595,029
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Posted: 5/9/2014 6:47:27 PM
I live in the south.

The names down here make a Tommy seem like a sophisticated, upper-class, highly educated name.


PeaNut 289,606
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Posted: 5/9/2014 6:48:34 PM
Yep, I do.

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PeaNut 15,108
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Posted: 5/9/2014 6:48:43 PM
I know plenty of 40+ men who go by -y names. My husband is one of them. He doesn't/didn't really choose to go by a nickname, but gave up on correcting people and decided not to worry about it.

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PeaNut 298,090
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Posted: 5/9/2014 6:49:10 PM
Is it skeevey that I'm 51 and all of my co-workers and bosses call me Stephi?
They called me Stephanie for the first 4 mths, then started calling me Stephi.
Should I be offended?


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old pea new name

PeaNut 341,472
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Posted: 5/9/2014 6:49:53 PM
It's not a big deal. And it's not a major thing. Just wondering if you always hated your "baby " name "Freddy" vs Fred, why you'd go back. Just my personal thing... sounds kind of "hanging on to youth"... 60 year old Ricky vs Richard, kwim?

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PeaNut 341,917
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Posted: 5/9/2014 6:56:57 PM

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PeaNut 596,577
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:00:31 PM
My DH is the eldest of 3 boys. He is 50.

Most in his extended family still refer to him as Jimmy. His brothers are Johnny and Timmy.

I don't think he's crazy about it...but really...what are you gonna do? Make a huge issue about what your elderly Aunt calls you?

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PeaNut 471,001
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:07:32 PM
I don't think it's weird or skeevy at all.

I also know a lot of people who don't just "go by" those names. Those *are* their names.

Lots of Johnny, Billy, Tommy, etc. where that is the actual name on the birth certificate.

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PeaNut 186,047
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:12:22 PM
My husband is Vincent (I call him Vin or Vince) but nearly everyone else calls him Vinny, including his firehouse of grown-ass men. Not sure why VinnY would be a skeevy name... Weird.

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PeaNut 57,202
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:18:32 PM
I think it's kind of cute, actually. My DH is Bob and his son is Bobby to the family. Whenever I run into my DH's cousin, she always says "Say hi to Bobby for me!" and I have to do a brain shift to realize she's talking about DH, not his son.
My oldest daughter's ex is Jimmy and that's the name on his birth certificate - not James, not Jim, but Jimmy. After knowing him for 25 years, that's just his name. I don't think one way or another about it.


PeaNut 180,283
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:19:14 PM
My DH is Tommy- I don't think it's weird and it suits him nicely as he's a laidback, fun-loving kind of guy. He's been Tommy to most people since he was a kid.

I think OP is specifically asking about someone who went by their formal name their whole life, then later decided on the "-y" nickname though. I don't think that's weird either, although I guess it's pretty unusual as most people would do the reverse.


old pea new name

PeaNut 341,472
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:21:14 PM
Indeed I am referring to just this case: a man that goes by Rick and insists on being called Ricky, etc when he's 40 when he hated it at 16, 20, etc. The sudden inflectional ending of -y is what I find odd. Not the name with y itself


PeaNut 432,055
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:21:23 PM
Doesn't bother me in the least.


PeaNut 2,698
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:21:41 PM
Nope not creepy. I know both. One of Dh's best friends is Tommy. He's 40. I got in trouble when I called him Tom once. LOL! It's now become an inside joke. One of my friends had a boy named Johnny but he had a few other nicknames as well.

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PeaNut 158,336
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:32:23 PM

The sudden inflectional ending of -y is what I find odd.

What I find odd is that you would even care what a grown man prefers to have people call him, especially when it's a derivative of his given name. And even more so that you would attach the word "skeevy" to it.


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PeaNut 43,061
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:37:10 PM

What I find odd is that you would even care what a grown man prefers to have people call him, especially when it's a derivative of his given name. And even more so that you would attach the word "skeevy" to it.


PeaNut 288,074
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Posted: 5/9/2014 7:56:36 PM
I don't think it's weird or skeevy at all.

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PeaNut 108,542
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Posted: 5/9/2014 8:00:52 PM
Hmmm...not something on my radar to care about.


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PeaNut 171,221
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Posted: 5/9/2014 8:09:30 PM
ITA with Carla.


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PeaNut 231,164
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Posted: 5/9/2014 8:17:50 PM
Doesn't bother me. I work with a Jimmy. He's going to retire in about two years and old enough to be my dad. Never thought it was weird.


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PeaNut 218,419
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Posted: 5/9/2014 8:19:06 PM
Ugh. I just deleted what I typed because it was rude.

I'll just say: ITA with Burning Feather. (Same thing I was going to say, but she said it nicer )

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PeaNut 140,631
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Posted: 5/9/2014 8:29:43 PM
My brother's name is Tommy (on his birth certificate). Not Tom, or Thomas, just Tommy. When he was a teenager, he had people call him Tom, but family has always called him Tommy. Now, everyone calls him Tommy again. Never thought it was strange.



PeaNut 378,405
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Posted: 5/9/2014 8:35:38 PM
DH is Larry (Lawrence)...with his name I guess it doesn't really apply to what the OP asked...

Oh, he goes by Lars when I'm getting my massage
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PeaNut 159,243
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Posted: 5/9/2014 8:41:53 PM
Yes, I always found Johnny Carson skeevy!


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PeaNut 87,597
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Posted: 5/9/2014 9:51:35 PM
Not at all. Do you feel the same about women going by -y names?

I don't like the "y" or "ie" sounding nicknames at all. I love "Madison" but not Maddie. Love Grace but not Gracie. But it's not up to me what people choose to call themselves. I just have to make sure I don't give my kids a name that I don't like the nickname. So that took out many names for me.

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PeaNut 35,457
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Posted: 5/9/2014 10:03:09 PM
My first husband has a y name and always went by it back then. Then when he started his professional life he decided to drop it from his 9-5 arena. People that know him and are close to him still call him the y name but his work world doesn't.

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PeaNut 857
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Posted: 5/9/2014 10:07:42 PM
Not at all. I'm friends with a Charlie and a Jimmy - two wonderful family men with successful business who would never be described as "skeevy".

My favorite uncle was a retired Air Force officer that most people called Billy. No one would ever describe him as skeevy.

A well-respected principal I know is named "Eddie" - not skeevy in any way.

I can understand not liking certain names, but unless a guy wanted to be called something like "Russell the love muscle", I can't imagine describing someone as skeevy, based on their name.


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PeaNut 79,113
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Posted: 5/9/2014 10:15:29 PM
My brother Paul is 45 and people have been calling him Paulie for years and years. It didn't start until he was an adult, though-- he was just Paul as a kid.

My brother Sam is 40 and his wife calls him Sammy and so do a couple of his friends. But most call him Sam.

I also know a Tommy, Ricky, Donnie, Larry, Tony, Eddie, and a Kenny, all around 40 or so.

Not skeevy at all.



PeaNut 10,896
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Posted: 5/9/2014 10:24:55 PM
Of course its not skeevy if a guy grew up with a -y or -ie name and kept it.

The OP is saying that man was called 'Tom' until he reached 45+ and now wants to be called 'Tommy'. I do think that's unusual.

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PeaNut 26,836
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Posted: 5/9/2014 10:26:19 PM
Do any of these men have sons with the same name?

Because I see this sometimes with junior & seniors.

Dad is Tom. He has a son, Thomas Jr. They call the son Tommy.

Tommy grows up and he thinks that "Tommy" sounds like a child's name, so he insists that everyone call him "Tom".

Then there is confusion, because no one in the family knows which Tom is being called or discussed. Some people will start saying Tom Sr. & Tom Jr., or Big Tom & Tom, but some Tom Sr.s just say, you know what, I'll go by Tommy now.

And they switch and all is well.


PeaNut 11,212
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Posted: 5/9/2014 10:27:30 PM
My uncle is 89 and has always been Uncle Johnny.


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PeaNut 463,630
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Posted: 5/9/2014 10:31:35 PM
If it makes You feel better op, my mom feels like that too. My dad is a Thomas, and his mom (my grandma) and relatives always called him Tommy. My mom hates it, said it was ridiculous for a grown man to be Tommy (and his brothers, Johnny and Ricky). It bugged her as long as I can remember, since I was a kid.

So it isn't just you.

I don't count Larry as one of those names, as I've never known anyone who went by Lawrence, it's always Larry. But Ricky, Tommy,Bobby, Johnny- I guess because of my mom, sound silly on anything but a kid to me.


PeaNut 421,228
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Posted: 5/9/2014 10:41:02 PM

My oldest daughter's ex is Jimmy and that's the name on his birth certificate - not James, not Jim, but Jimmy.

This is the same with my DH, he's 34. People ask him all the time if it's short for James. Nope. He even has a grandpa named James, but he was named after his uncle Jimmy who was the eldest brother of 8 and died tragically in his 30s. So he was purposefully and specifically named the "nickname" version. My grandpa went by Jimmy as a nickname until the day he died, so I've never thought of it as a juvenile name.

ETA - since you specifically referenced a change in what they go by later in life, here is what I would think. Often people have a nickname they are called by family and close friends. Then, when they start a career they begin using a more formal version for work or professional purposes. When they are about to retire, or no longer care to keep up the "professional" image, they may decide to use the lifelong nickname in all aspects because it is less confusing or they just prefer it.

If you're turning 50 and want to go by Regina Phalange or whatever, more power to ya - your name, your choice.


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PeaNut 51,689
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Posted: 5/9/2014 11:25:48 PM
As a general rule I don't find it "skeevy" to call grown men by a -y name. However in the case you're talking about OP, I guess I might wonder why someone who has gone by the name Tom all his life suddenly asked to be called Tommy in his late 40's. I wouldn't find it "skeevy", just a bit strange.


PeaNut 246,234
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Posted: 5/10/2014 4:08:37 AM
My husband is over 50 and his name is Robert. Only his mom calls him Robert, everyone else calls him Rob.

If he suddenly decides everyone needs to call him Robby or Bobby, yes, I would find it very odd and would tease him about trying to appear younger with his new name.

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Posted: 5/10/2014 5:09:04 AM

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PeaNut 172,235
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Posted: 5/10/2014 6:41:17 AM
A lot of replies don't seem to have read the OP's update or even her question fully - she's not talking about names ending in y per-se, she's asking about people who either revert to, or start to use, the ending suddenly in their 40s after not using it since childhood.

I wouldn't say skeevy though.

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PeaNut 506,197
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Posted: 5/10/2014 8:12:39 AM

What I find odd is that you would even care what a grown man prefers to have people call him, especially when it's a derivative of his given name. And even more so that you would attach the word "skeevy" to it.



PeaNut 598,310
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Posted: 5/10/2014 8:14:24 AM
We have a family friend who goes by Gordie...he always has and always will. It's not skeevie it's just his name.

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PeaNut 31,617
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Posted: 5/10/2014 8:25:06 AM
Although in his professional life my brother switched to Bob years ago, he will always be Robie to me and Uncle Robie to my girls.

He is 51.

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PeaNut 28,992
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Posted: 5/10/2014 8:31:05 AM
Am I the only one who doesn't know what 'skeevy' means?



PeaNut 415,672
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Posted: 5/10/2014 8:49:13 AM
Not...since my hubby is 57 and his family calls him Jimmy.



PeaNut 172,235
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Posted: 5/10/2014 9:13:27 AM
Skeevy is sort of 'euuwwww', vaguely pervy, I think!

Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.

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PeaNut 163,613
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Posted: 5/10/2014 9:17:10 AM
I don't find it skeevy or weird when men have -y ending names.

But, in the case of someone that was always Tom, suddenly wanting to be called Tommy in his 50's... That's weird. And kind of sad.

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PeaNut 82,634
April 2003
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Posted: 5/10/2014 9:18:03 AM
Not weird, odd or close to skeevy.

Odd question to begin with, honestly. Really reaching.


PeaNut 263,952
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Posted: 5/10/2014 9:19:52 AM

What I find odd is that you would even care what a grown man prefers to have people call him, especially when it's a derivative of his given name. And even more so that you would attach the word "skeevy" to it.


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