Where is the most embarassing place you have ever ummmm....farted!

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Posted 8/12/2005 by tupperwarepam in NSBR Board
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tupperwarepam
PeaFixture

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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:29:21 PM
Mine was at the massage therapists! I laughed my a$$ off!! So did he. I said thatk goodness you were working on my neck! I thought he was going to PIHP!!!

My dd at 3 was shopping with her Nanny and she said in her biggest big girl voince in Old Navy "EXCUSE ME I FARTED AND IT'S GONNA STINK!!"


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I used to sell Tupperware, so I could buy paper. Now, I have to get a real J-O-B!!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have a new JOB. I own a scrapbooking store!!!

~KellyAnn~
Calligra-pea

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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:33:08 PM
In the wings of a musical we were doing last week.

Not quietly and not scent-free, if you follow my drift....................at least the actors were pretty professional about it. I, on the other hand, lost it and had to retreat to the rehearsal hall until I could get over my embarrased giggling.


~Kelly~

Robyn v2.0
Blame it on the alcohol..

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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:39:15 PM
several places...

but I'll just lay this one on ya...While sleeping on an airplane going to Mexico on our honeymoon. I fell asleep before our first stop in Guadalajara. When I woke up no one was anywhere near me, even DH. I thought, where the hell am I? I looked back and DH was about 7 rows behind me, waving at me - and he was the closest person to me. EVERYONE had moved to the back of the plane. He said I was bustin' silent but deadly "poots".



234qj5 34q6h0h0000h9
Peareft

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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:40:07 PM
While giving birth.



MrsPibb
Huh?

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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:46:35 PM
Robyn-OMGosh, I would KILL my dh if I was doing that and he didn't WAKE ME UP!! ROFL!!


Wendy

Deigh Pea
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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:48:56 PM
That's funny, Robyn.

I had the runs when I was giving birth to my third child. I farted and it went all over the DR's face. I was so embarrassed. He had to go and get a plastic mask (sort of like a welding helmet) so he wouldn't get splattered again in case I let another one go. LOL.


Don't worry about the people in your past; there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Facebook is like jail. You sit around all day wasting time, writing on walls and if your not careful you'll get poked.


scrappinspadiva
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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:48:57 PM
That is Hilarious, Robyn!!! That's why I'm scared to sleep on planes!!! That's the exact reason right there.



**MIGNONNE**
~SleePeas~

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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:50:12 PM
This thread is freaking hillarious. I love toot humor. I would say a silent bud deadly one at work was the most embarassing.

Mignonne



angelag
the most ransorish pea evah

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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:51:55 PM
One time I was at this crop, and I had the worst broccoli farts...
oh wait.
that was Chickpea...





Robyn v2.0
Blame it on the alcohol..

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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:52:27 PM
Around the time that I got married I used to travel a lot for my job--50% of the time, I was traveling. and I was by myself. I took a lot of red-eye flights because I wanted to venture out in the morning at my destination before attending to business. Most times when I would sleep on the plane, I felt "gassy", but didnt think I was actually farting..

Well, now I know I was...



Robyn v2.0
Blame it on the alcohol..

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Posted: 8/12/2005 11:53:41 PM

I had the runs when I was giving birth to my third child. I farted and it went all over the DR's face. I was so embarrassed. He had to go and get a plastic mask (sort of like a welding helmet) so he wouldn't get splattered again in case I let another one go.
OMG!! YOU win!!!

ETA: this story has me so tickled right now...



NikkoleLynn
Sing your <3 out!

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:03:09 AM

I had the runs when I was giving birth to my third child. I farted and it went all over the DR's face. I was so embarrassed. He had to go and get a plastic mask (sort of like a welding helmet) so he wouldn't get splattered again in case I let another one go. LOL.




Hahaha. I literally started cracking up at that one. Robyn yours is hilarious too. I would be so embarassed that my SO didn't wake me!



*NICOLE*




*I always knew I'd look back on the times I cried & laugh, but I never realized that
I'd look back on the times I laughed & cry*
Ya-Ya Name *Princess Because-I-Said-So*

System Error
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:03:37 AM
No details given... during sex with my husband.


"When Fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross." - Sinclair Lewis 1885-1951
"


"Childhood is what we spend the rest of our adult lives in therapy trying to get over" - Me


Robyn v2.0
Blame it on the alcohol..

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:14:14 AM
I'm lactose intolerant and DH and I, early on in our marraige would have fart wars.. I cant believe I'm sharing this. Anyway, if he would bust one and not leave the room or say "escume", I would drop one too. But if I really wanted to get him, I'd drink a glass of milk or eat ice cream, wait 10 minutes and go NuTs!! BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM!!! One time he grabbed one of his tshirts out of the drawer an waved it like a white flag. He can never win with me..



EatCrayons
Did You Bring Me a Monkey!?

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:20:06 AM
I haven't had one of those moments....yet.



Carrie
(Formerly EatCrayons...but who cares?)

Tupoi
Hopeful Romantic

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:22:34 AM
ROBYN! Rotflmbo!!!

The worst is when I exit the break room when someone is entering. I just feel really bad. I never say anything, I know I could make a big joke, but really...it's halfway through the work day! I'm done joking! LOL.



Deigh Pea
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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:27:41 AM
The DR should learn not to put his face so close.


Fart Wars---I bet it is fun at Robin's house. PIMP!


Don't worry about the people in your past; there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Facebook is like jail. You sit around all day wasting time, writing on walls and if your not careful you'll get poked.


Robyn v2.0
Blame it on the alcohol..

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:28:44 AM
Seriously, the splattering poot juices have me cracking up!!!



RealtorPea
Not on CrAcK, I just scrap like it

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:32:33 AM

I had the runs when I was giving birth to my third child. I farted and it went all over the DR's face. I was so embarrassed. He had to go and get a plastic mask (sort of like a welding helmet) so he wouldn't get splattered again in case I let another one go. LOL.



Laughed so hard I just had a contraction! Must stop reading this thread before I pop this baby out... hopefully I wont have the runs!



shelley36
She who peas to avoid grading papers

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:32:44 AM
Why??????? Oh whyyyyyy do these threads make me laugh until tears run down my face? These are the ones I read out loud to DH, who thinks you all are terribly funny!

Tupperwarepam, nice early warning system your daughter provides those in her immediate environment!! This had me totally cracking up!

Shelley


Ya Ya Princess Had-it-up-to-here

Tupoi
Hopeful Romantic

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:33:25 AM
Also the word QUEEF needs to be typed into this thread.

QUEEF.



RealtorPea
Not on CrAcK, I just scrap like it

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:37:06 AM
Just had DH read the "runs" post... all he said... was ok, I need to leave the room now... if that happens while you have this baby, I will have to leave!



Robyn v2.0
Blame it on the alcohol..

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:39:15 AM
You need a QUEEF story... I got one for ya!

About 2 months ago a co-worker and I were talking (she's a Pea too, but only lurks) and we both had to go to the bathroom, so we walked to the ladies, kept talking... Then we went into the stalls--still talking.. All of a sudden as I'm going to the bathroom, my body makes this "farty-esque "noise, but it wasnt a fart. She pauses and I get embarrassed and thinking I'm saving face I say "Hey wait, that wasnt my butt!"

Her response:



Tupoi
Hopeful Romantic

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:41:43 AM
Ok ok, since I'm going to throw in a Seth Green reference on every post tonight. LOL. In Scooby Doo 2, his character thinks Velma is HOT! (as she so rightly is) but she doesn't believe it. She gets hottified with help of Daphne and she's wearing like this vinyl outfit. They're sitting in the van together and she's moving just a tad and you keep hearing farting noises and she's like 'it's my outfit'.

What's even FUNNIER is the whole danged scene was ad libbed. *snort*.


I want farting clothes. All the noise, none of the stink.



EatCrayons
Did You Bring Me a Monkey!?

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:41:46 AM
LOL @ Robyn! I don't think I can ever look at you the same way again.



Carrie
(Formerly EatCrayons...but who cares?)

Tupoi
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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:45:58 AM
Robyn, you'd be fun to hang with. We could burp and fart and queef all we want. Society is so...proper.



ForeverinLove181
...

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:48:02 AM
About queefs...

In 9th grade this guy that sit in front of me pushed his desk back and his shoes made that farting sound on the ground. He yelled misty stop queefing.

Then someone said something to him about queefing. Then the guy told me to stop queefing said to this other guy "I queef when I want to."

The teacher asked him what that meant. He said to fart.... Well the teacher made him look the word up in the dictionary. I don't think I have ever seen a boy more embarassed then he was.



Robyn v2.0
Blame it on the alcohol..

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:49:59 AM
I've "slipped" so many times, it doesnt even phase me anymore..



Tupoi
Hopeful Romantic

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:50:12 AM
That's in the dictionary???


ROTFLMBO!


COOL!



Robyn v2.0
Blame it on the alcohol..

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:51:03 AM
ROTFLMVO!!



shelley36
She who peas to avoid grading papers

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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:55:54 AM

She pauses and I get embarrassed and thinking I'm saving face I say "Hey wait, that wasnt my butt!"


Okay, I laughed so hard at that one I heard my daughter's feet hit the ground. She'll be down here in 15 seconds asking what is so funny!

Shelley


Ya Ya Princess Had-it-up-to-here

Tupoi
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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:57:06 AM
Oh yes, we're laughing everything off tonight!



Deigh Pea
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Posted: 8/13/2005 1:02:41 AM

Just had DH read the "runs" post... all he said... was ok, I need to leave the room now... if that happens while you have this baby, I will have to leave!


Oh, no, he can't wimp (J/K) out when the baby comes. Runs or no runs. LOL.

Goodnight all!


Don't worry about the people in your past; there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Facebook is like jail. You sit around all day wasting time, writing on walls and if your not careful you'll get poked.


Robyn v2.0
Blame it on the alcohol..

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Posted: 8/13/2005 1:46:04 AM
any more fart stories...

or queef stories ?



raerae
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Posted: 8/13/2005 2:52:03 AM
omg... i am rotflmb and vo! you ladies are TOO funny! we need terrence and philip from south park on this thread! i can't believe the runs or the queefs!

here's one of my "tooting" stories...when i was in the 7th grade, we would do calesthenics (sp?) as part of our p.e. everyday. when we did sit-ups, we had to have a partner hold our feet down. (i'm sure you have a guess as to where this one is going.) one day somehow i got partnered up with the boy that was the biggest bully. at some point during my sit ups i let one go, and it was not silent! omg, i was mortified! mortified, i tell you! as if that weren't enough, he proceeded to announce it to everyone in a not so secret manner throughout the rest of p.e. that day. i have to laugh now to myself when i do crunches. ppppfffft!

rae



wholarmor
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Posted: 8/13/2005 3:22:13 AM
These are so funny! I can't really think of anything to really match these, but I have done the fart in one aisle and hurry and run to the next one so no one knows it was me .
Also during times of being intimate w/ dh. That's so fun!


Kris
Mom to Kyrie(11), Isaiah(9), and Jayden(6)
my blog


LBrock44
Equality for ALL

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Posted: 8/13/2005 5:49:54 AM
I don't have any good public fart stories but my mother, oh mom, absolutely hated this one doctor she had. He was rude and abrupt with her. One day he was trying to get her to roll over and she did, then farted loudly (and it was a stinker!) right in his face. His face puckered up and he said, "Excuse me!" and ran out of the room! I was so glad I had the opportunity to see that one!!!

I just let one a moment ago. BOTH cats ran out of the room!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------





We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Pett pea
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Posted: 8/13/2005 8:04:46 AM
OMG these are sooo funny!! So maybe this one time I had some gas at the Walmart in the clothing section and my DH and I were laughing about it (it was nasty) when some people came right up behind us!! OK I blamed it on the baby and got the heck out of there!!
Can you actually believe we are sharing this??



Deep
PeaFixture

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Posted: 8/13/2005 8:08:10 AM
Barnes and Noble...echoing through the silence...raising a few heads from their reading...

Tried blaming it on the 5 week old baby in my hands... Nice try!


"Why can't I get a little ahead instead of a bigger behind?"

TerriG
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Posted: 8/13/2005 11:16:04 AM
I can't believe the things I learn from the Peas! While I'm familiar with a shart, I had to go look queef up - I even found a site named queef.com.....




I'm STILL a princess - right down to my glass sneakers and enchanted sweatpants!


"A memory is a photograph taken by the heart." - Daisy Sour Cream


bulldogmom
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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:07:29 PM
This has to be the funniest thread by far I've ever read.


Mom to Sara, 13 Andrew, 12 and Ella, 7 and Kate, 4

ginnyb
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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:20:55 PM
When I was about 12...in church....on a wood pew....with my Sunday school teacher sitting in front of me!!! Of course, I started giggling and that just made them worse! OMG! It REALLY was funny!


Virginia
**Dymo Queen**

TinaFB
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Posted: 8/13/2005 12:21:46 PM
Not about me, but my son let a particularly loud one at my dead grandmother's viewing. I blogged about it, so I'll just copy it from there:


Not all of the baby moments were quite so sweet though. One was downright hilarious. At the end of the last viewing, the funeral home was cleared of all non-family people so we could have time to say goodbye to Grandmama. It was a very solemn time. My mother led us all in the Lord's prayer, followed by everyone going up to the casket one by one to say goodbye.

After the personal goodbyes, we were all standing around awkwardly, not sure what to do. No one wanted to leave, because that would mean she was really gone. I mustered up the courage to ask if anyone minded if I prayed. At the very least, I thought that would scare a few of my atheist family members right out the door. Just kidding. No offense to the atheists. Anyway, I prayed a heartfelt prayer, trembling the whole time. When I was done, I opened my eyes to see my whole family holding hands and many were crying. I was very moved.

Until all of a sudden, we all hear this loud PFFFFFFFTTTTT coming from my son's little baby bootay! It was one of those man sized farts that you can never believe a tiny baby is capable of. Well, it certainly broke the mood! Everyone started cracking up and those who hadn't yet cried from sadness were now crying from laughter. Little Matthew's gas was certainly the punctuation mark on the day. Schwoo. I guess you've gotta hand it to a baby to be unpredictable, right?


Tina


aimee_lynn
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Posted: 8/13/2005 4:53:36 PM
LMAO...this thread is hilarious!

Hmmm...one that comes to mind is from my grade 5 French class. we were sitting on the floor, crosslegged, and somebody said something funny in French. my entire class was laughing.

You know those moments when all of a sudden, everybody goes quiet for no reason? well, that happened and then PPFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!! I let out a really long LOUD one!!!! I was so embarrassed, all I could do was laugh. My teacher was laughing too (as were all the kids) and all she could say was "c'est okay, Aimee, c'est okay."

teachergirl
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Posted: 8/13/2005 7:42:05 PM
In my house there is no such thing as silent ones... as soon as the dog gets a wiff, he is OUT of There! One time my FIL went racing with us and spent the night in the motorhome. He went to bed before we did so the dog curled up next to him. As soon as he let one rip, the dog dashed into the back room and never came back out. My FIL was a little puzzled, but he said he didn't blame him.

daquiri35
BucketHead

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Posted: 8/13/2005 7:50:10 PM
farting wars!!! My DH and I still have those, lol. the worst time was when I stopped taking my calcium pills..even I would get up and leave the room after I farted, ewww. But now having 2 dogs, they win hands-down!

I won a scrabble game once w/my MIL w/the word 'Queef', but then I had to explain to her what that was, ha!


Darcy



You know it's going to be a bad day when even your Fat pants don't fit.





Pea Whizz
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Posted: 11/25/2005 8:03:08 AM
this is my story from the "When I was PG" thread:


When I was PG with DS, 15 years ago, DH was out of town for a week, so my sister came to prenatal class with me.

The last 15 mins of the class was laying on mats in the dark listening to nature sounds and meditating.

Sis, started to laugh for no reason and made me laugh, then I let out a huge, rat-a-tat-tat machine-gun fart for at least 10 seconds, and then we rolled around on the floor hysterically laughing, crying and even snorting.

The lights came on and everyone one else was sitting up staring at us with a disgusted look.

We howled all the way home.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Craftybanshee38
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Posted: 11/25/2005 2:10:03 PM
LOL During my Pilates class, but I was cheeky and blamed it on my friend At least we got more room because other peeps edged away from us.



cookiemonster
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Posted: 11/25/2005 11:04:17 PM
One time I was at the movies with a boyfriend and I fell asleep. I farted in my sleep and it was so loud that it woke me up! My boyfriend didn't even know it was me until I started laughing.
Cheryl



**mogley**
hangin' in my flip flops & pearls

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Posted: 11/26/2005 9:20:35 AM
ROBYN!!!

but I'll just lay this one on ya...While sleeping on an airplane going to Mexico on our honeymoon. I fell asleep before our first stop in Guadalajara. When I woke up no one was anywhere near me, even DH. I thought, where the hell am I? I looked back and DH was about 7 rows behind me, waving at me - and he was the closest person to me. EVERYONE had moved to the back of the plane. He said I was bustin' silent but deadly "poots".


I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard!!!!


Life is too short not to wear your pearls every day=)

www.flipflopsandpearlsgirl.blogspot.com
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