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Lumo
Carolina dorkburger
PeaNut 233,457
November 2005
Posts: 16,516
Layouts: 38
Loc: An hour west of Blue Heaven
 |  Posted: 12/9/2005 6:06:50 PM
Since the original OP is gone, I was asked to repost it here in what was originally the second post! Here ya go:
My Dogs Attacked Baby Jesus
Ripped his little plastic self right out of the neighbor's nativity. Knocked Mary down, jumped on Joseph, barked at the donkeys. Hay was everywhere.
I am so sick, all I could do was moan and point while my SO chased them down the street screaming "Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"
As an adult, that is the closest I have ever come to peeing my pants on a public street.
Now we have to tell the neighbors and spring for a new babe in the manger. The dogs were bummed and we hid the mangled child in our garage. How many stores do you think we'll have to visit before we find a match?
::Updated Later That Afternoon::
Well, the wife took it well, the husband not so much. He said "Well I'm glad you came over with an explanation, because we were calling the Sheriff just now." OMG! How to explain this to the cops?!
After about 2 hours of searching stores for Jesus, I came home and as luck would have it, our other neighbors gave us the 411 - someone sold those nativity sets door to door in the 70s. Yes, the 70s. And they still had theirs. Yes! Jesus was returned to the manger with a new Mary and Joseph to boot!
I told my SO, NO the dogs may not have the stolen Jesus to play with. We were going to take the dogs to see the big light display in town, but they can just forget it now.
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i'm sorry, but this just made me LOL! |
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Kelly
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~ Anna ~
:blink:
PeaNut 69,360
February 2003
Posts: 22,761
Layouts: 6
 | Posted: 12/9/2005 6:08:02 PM
I'm telling you all, dogs in packs are dangerous... Where's my gun!  |
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Deep
PeaFixture
PeaNut 51,943
October 2002
Posts: 3,131
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:08:52 PM
Dang, now they've got dogs involved in the war on Christmas. |
| "Why can't I get a little ahead instead of a bigger behind?" | |
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dalayney
Shut the PEA UP! Yer gettin me all twitterpaited!
PeaNut 123,471
January 2004
Posts: 16,351
Layouts: 165
Loc: Husker by Heart in WI
 | Posted: 12/9/2005 6:09:52 PM
""Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"
LMAO... sorry.... it's just..... hee hee.... funny mental picture.... would make a good SNL skit! Anyone seen the skit where Cheri Oteri is the lady in curlers on her front porch and is always trying to compete w/her neighbor and each other's outside manger scenes??? Man.... I would have love to seen this.
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WannaPea
No Peas for you ! Come back one year!
PeaNut 151,172
June 2004
Posts: 26,833
Layouts: 175
Loc: In my PJ's
 | Posted: 12/9/2005 6:10:28 PM
OH no they di-in't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And just "who who who who who----let the dogs out"? |
Cop's wife - Mom to one
"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike." ~ Delos B. McKown
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love labs
10,000,000 post poster
PeaNut 143,394
April 2004
Posts: 21,916
Layouts: 0
Loc: Headin' to the cabin!
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:10:41 PM
I am ROFLOL! That in a video would easily have made you the big winner on America's Funniest Videos!
Hopefully you were on good terms with your neighbors BEFORE the attack! |
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If life is a journey, shouldn't you be moving along? | |
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loridg
AncestralPea
PeaNut 70,692
February 2003
Posts: 4,764
Layouts: 25
Loc: Seattle
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:10:46 PM
LOL, thanks for making me laugh today  |
 Ever had a day like this?  | |
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Sunshine36616
God peas protect me from your followers
PeaNut 180,214
December 2004
Posts: 30,602
Layouts: 204
Loc: stalking the crease
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:11:42 PM
That mishap made me think of my favorite family Christmas story.
My cousin Kathy got attacked by a donkey at one of those living nativity scenes. She went to pet him and the donkey latched on to her hand. All the adults were smacking the donkey and pulling.
Hard not to laugh. |
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Just Lizzy
Original Pea #5005
PeaNut 19,817
August 2001
Posts: 20,125
Layouts: 54
Loc: On the rocky shores of life... AKA Mid-Missouri
 | Posted: 12/9/2005 6:11:59 PM
I know I shouldn't be laughing at this, but it's ROFL funny! Did you get any pictures? |
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veggieburger
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 108,830
September 2003
Posts: 5,714
Layouts: 0
Loc: In the land of fruits and nuts...
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:12:12 PM
The dogs were bummed and we hid the mangled child in our garage.
please, no disrespect meant here (just admiration), this may be the funniest post I've ever read! |
"Dogs are our link to paradise.
They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent.
To sit with a dog on a hillside on a
glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden,
where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace."
~Milan Kundera
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heartcat
International Association of Epic Length Posters
PeaNut 51,429
October 2002
Posts: 39,651
Layouts: 237
Loc: Where dreams come true
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:14:48 PM
It was clearly a political statement. They were obviously intent on taking the 'Christ' out of 'Christmas'.
Are your dogs pitbulls? I bet they're pitbulls! Further proof of the fact that they'll attack and savage without provocation! |
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Continuing to learn about dSLR photography!
Canon 50D with BG-E2N grip; Jupiter-37A 135mm 3.5; Carl Zeiss Jena 135mm 3.5; Jupiter-11A 135mm 4; Pentacon 135mm 2.8; Nikkor-P 105mm 2.5; RMC Tokina 80-200mm 4.5; Helios 44-2 58mm 2; Super Takumar 55mm 1.8; Vivitar 35mm 2.8; RMC Tokina 28mm 2.8; RMC Tokina 35-70mm 3.5; Panagor 90mm 2.8 macro; and a couple of modern AF Canon lenses that rarely see the light of day.
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melissa ...
PeaFixture
PeaNut 180,549
December 2004
Posts: 3,656
Layouts: 0
Loc: in my head
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:18:16 PM
"Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"
My cousin Kathy got attacked by a donkey at one of those living nativity scenes. She went to pet him and the donkey latched on to her hand. All the adults were smacking the donkey and pulling.
It was clearly a political statement. They were obviously intent on taking the 'Christ' out of 'Christmas'.
Are your dogs pitbulls? I bet they're pitbulls! Further proof of the fact that they'll attack and savage without provocation!
OMG I am PEEING in my pants ..... tears are rolling down my face ... I seriously hope DH stays downstairs ... |
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::*~it is what it is~*::
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msmincina
Proud to be an American PEA
PeaNut 40,309
June 2002
Posts: 13,313
Layouts: 0
Loc: In the San Francisco Bay Area
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:25:05 PM
No disrespect intended, but this is one of the funniest posts I have ever read. I am laughing so hard tears are rolling down my face. The mental picture is hilarious...especially of SO running down the street yelling "Bring the Saviour back". I hope that your neighbors will be good sports about it and get a laugh or two out of the situation.
Keep us posted on what the neighbors have to say when they see their desecrated Nativity. |
Joanne
GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS
GOD BLESS AMERICA...LAND OF THE FREE, BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE
9/11/01...WE WILL NEVER FORGET
PRAYING FOR ALL VICTIMS OF NATURAL DIASTERS AND TERRORIST ATTACKS | |
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poohbear1029
BucketHead
PeaNut 66,277
February 2003
Posts: 581
Layouts: 41
Loc: Sumter, SC
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:29:33 PM
Oh my Gosh! I dont think I have laughed this hard in forever!!!
Now, those dogs just may have been following my hard and fast rule that I grew up with....no baby Jesus in the nativity until Christmas Day! They were just righting a wrong! |
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WannaPea
No Peas for you ! Come back one year!
PeaNut 151,172
June 2004
Posts: 26,833
Layouts: 175
Loc: In my PJ's
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renaissancewoo
AncestralPea
PeaNut 75,409
March 2003
Posts: 4,772
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:32:54 PM
LoL! I don't mean any disrespect by laughing, but the "visual" is just too much!
ROF, they're not pit bulls, but we are concerned that they're atheists.
ROFL!!!
You DO realize that "god" spelled backwards is "dog", right? They're evviiiiil I tell ya!  |
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justem
Cheez-its make me happy...
PeaNut 186,900
January 2005
Posts: 6,088
Layouts: 606
Loc: Illinois, but I'm a Badger girl at heart!
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:42:23 PM
Thank you for cheering me up!! That is hilarious! |
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Gagemom
To new beginnings....
PeaNut 5,730
August 2000
Posts: 8,157
Layouts: 8
Loc: Arizona
 | Posted: 12/9/2005 6:43:58 PM
LOL!!! I'm laughing but I feel so dirty hehe
Just don'tforget to say "Merry Christmas when you return baby Jesus back to the manger |
Original pea #460>
Equal opportunity thread killer
  
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234qj5 34q6h0h0000h9
Peareft
PeaNut 157,785
July 2004
Posts: 12,099
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:47:59 PM
This is hilarious, Dharma! I'll bet the AP would like this story. |
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Badger
Lip Balm?
PeaNut 51,861
October 2002
Posts: 10,186
Layouts: 0
Loc: Santa Poco
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:50:38 PM
For your dogs:
Frankly, I wouldn't dare say the other greeting around them for fear of what they'd do to me. |
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scrappinfuzzylover
PeaFixture
PeaNut 201,180
April 2005
Posts: 3,257
Layouts: 0
Loc: CANTON, GA
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:53:27 PM
Now THAT is funny!! |
Saving one dog won't change the world, but for that one dog the
world will change forever. ---AUTHOR UNKNOWN | |
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**GypsyGirl**
Well, Bless Her Heart.......
PeaNut 142,890
April 2004
Posts: 15,093
Layouts: 1
Loc: I am Switzerland!
| Posted: 12/9/2005 6:59:54 PM
while SO chased them down the street screaming "Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"
This is the funniest thing I've read on TwoPeas in a very long time! I'm just glad I'd already finished my Starbuck's latte before I did read it.
I'm sure they were quite proud of themselves for rescuing baby Jesus and holding the donkey at bay while doing so! How are you going to scrap this? |
Toni
Professional Expat Wife, Hell Holes are my Specialty!
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
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bekalab
CarPEA Diem!
PeaNut 69,377
February 2003
Posts: 16,606
Layouts: 153
Loc: Pittsburgh, PA
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:04:45 PM
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Sunshine36616
God peas protect me from your followers
PeaNut 180,214
December 2004
Posts: 30,602
Layouts: 204
Loc: stalking the crease
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:07:16 PM
They were obviously intent on taking the 'Christ' out of 'Christmas'.
bwahahahahahahaha |
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wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack sniffer!
PeaNut 29,699
February 2002
Posts: 24,044
Layouts: 92
Loc: SE Washington
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:14:46 PM
Heehee. That would have been funny if you got it on video or got pictures. |
Kris
Mom to Kyrie(9), Isaiah(8), and Jayden(5)
my blog
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Sunshine36616
God peas protect me from your followers
PeaNut 180,214
December 2004
Posts: 30,602
Layouts: 204
Loc: stalking the crease
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:15:29 PM
Do you know what an awesome SB page that would have made?!??! |
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melissa ...
PeaFixture
PeaNut 180,549
December 2004
Posts: 3,656
Layouts: 0
Loc: in my head
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:16:01 PM
Should we say a few words? Wrap him up maybe? It seemed wrong to balance him on the lawn mower.
LMAO |
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::*~it is what it is~*::
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Deep
PeaFixture
PeaNut 51,943
October 2002
Posts: 3,131
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:18:29 PM
Wrap him up maybe?
Do you happen to have any swaddling clothing in the garage? |
| "Why can't I get a little ahead instead of a bigger behind?" | |
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melissa ...
PeaFixture
PeaNut 180,549
December 2004
Posts: 3,656
Layouts: 0
Loc: in my head
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*elaine*
Autism doesn't have a mute button...
PeaNut 23,719
October 2001
Posts: 18,442
Layouts: 40
Loc: The East Coast
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:22:00 PM
This is the hardest I've laughed on this board in a while!
I bet that Bill O'Reilly would pay big bucks for that footage! It would be much better than the year old Daily Show footage he used earlier. 
I'm telling you all, dogs in packs are dangerous... Where's my gun!
But Anna, what if your aim was off? You could end up shooting the Baby Jesus!  |
Cheers,
Elaine
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How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
George Washington Carver
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eversograceful1
Feeling Spaztastic!
PeaNut 69,237
February 2003
Posts: 7,465
Layouts: 73
Loc: Northern Florida
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:29:16 PM
Seriously, I just shot water through my nose. That is too funny! My dogs just growl and bark at the things. Thanks for making me laugh so hard. |
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littlefish
Peain' in the Pool
PeaNut 78,065
March 2003
Posts: 16,343
Layouts: 139
Loc: Sunshine State
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:35:23 PM
Too.
Freakin'.
Funny.
Ranks up there with the thread the other night where someone's 3 yo DD pointed up at the crucifix during Catholic mass and called out "Hey, who's the dead guy?"
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Janice_in_TX
Proud foot flusher
PeaNut 2,978
February 2000
Posts: 14,970
Layouts: 58
Loc: on my high horse
 | Posted: 12/9/2005 7:36:02 PM
Hilarious!!!!
Janice |
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revrob
PeaNut
PeaNut 26,121
December 2001
Posts: 459
Layouts: 6
Loc: Texas
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:42:59 PM
They're DARKSIDED I tell ya'! DARKSIDED! |
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TREZmom
Lost and Found in Pea-land
PeaNut 138,098
March 2004
Posts: 5,808
Layouts: 2
Loc: NC but wishing I was somewhere else
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:55:05 PM
my kids just came in and asked if I was crying or laughing...this is too funny! (no disrespect intended towards baby Jesus though) |
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Sunshine36616
God peas protect me from your followers
PeaNut 180,214
December 2004
Posts: 30,602
Layouts: 204
Loc: stalking the crease
| Posted: 12/9/2005 7:55:54 PM
They're DARKSIDED I tell ya'! DARKSIDED!
Yes, obviously those dogs are tainted. |
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Janice_in_TX
Proud foot flusher
PeaNut 2,978
February 2000
Posts: 14,970
Layouts: 58
Loc: on my high horse
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:05:10 PM
You can still take pictures! You could take some of what's left of the nativity scene (sans baby) and one of the "mangled child." And then a couple of your naughty dogs!
This would make an awesome scrapbook layout! You MUST take pictures.
Janice |
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northernlite
Gone and now forgotten
PeaNut 74,076
March 2003
Posts: 5,125
Layouts: 11
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:05:47 PM
I'm going straight to hell. (for laughing) |
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love labs
10,000,000 post poster
PeaNut 143,394
April 2004
Posts: 21,916
Layouts: 0
Loc: Headin' to the cabin!
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:08:13 PM
I'm going straight to hell. (for laughing)
You'll be in good company--we'll save you a seat! |
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If life is a journey, shouldn't you be moving along? | |
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Susie2
la pea-riodista
PeaNut 34,406
March 2002
Posts: 9,471
Layouts: 24
Loc: Bay Area, California
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:08:27 PM
Clearly your dogs are on the side of "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." |
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MNBonnie
Liz Lemon's BFF
PeaNut 64,193
January 2003
Posts: 24,528
Layouts: 16
Loc: Skol Vikings!
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:09:32 PM
PIMP!
Totally sounds like something one of our dogs would do. Hope you find a replacement babe to wrap in swaddling clothes. |
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TinaFB
the lunatics have taken over the asylum
PeaNut 25,135
November 2001
Posts: 25,623
Layouts: 349
Loc: Maryland
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:11:31 PM
I'm cracking up here. I even read it to dh!
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Tina
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cannes
Proud Pea-lice Wife!
PeaNut 41,743
July 2002
Posts: 7,682
Layouts: 3
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:24:07 PM
This is now officially my favorite post. I laughed so hard I peed a little in my pants. |
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pea-sun
PeaNut 74,514
March 2003
Posts: 6,037
Layouts: 54
Loc: California
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:29:47 PM
Too funny!
Alyson |
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Aly
My 3 cuties: Hailey (9), Maddy (8), Elijah (6) | |
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kschmitz
PeaNut
PeaNut 55,565
November 2002
Posts: 371
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:32:24 PM
That is freakin' hysterical! Please, please give us an update! |
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Anna in TX
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 23,002
October 2001
Posts: 2,092
Layouts: 11
Loc: TX
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:36:11 PM
This is the funniest post I've read, ever. EVER. I read it to DH; he told me to stop crying. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.
Oh to have seen a video... |
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Stelorwal
Four out of Five Dentists Recommend Stephanie.
PeaNut 179,221
November 2004
Posts: 12,976
Layouts: 14
Loc: Why do you care? :P
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:40:50 PM
Please tell me someone got this on tape!
And I am sorry to admit I laughed...a lot.  |
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mowse
iCoupon
PeaNut 31,018
February 2002
Posts: 19,314
Layouts: 156
Loc: probably here. maybe there.
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:41:27 PM
classic
this is one of those stories that will be told over and over...the stuff of legends. |
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janet_o
PEA-anist
PeaNut 114,989
November 2003
Posts: 12,065
Layouts: 1,082
Loc: Chicago-ish
| Posted: 12/9/2005 8:43:41 PM
I am SO glad I clicked on NSBR tonight. You have GOT to post an update and let us know what happened...that is freaking hilarious! |
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Mely
Right you are Ken
PeaNut 31,465
March 2002
Posts: 23,209
Layouts: 12
Loc: So Cal
| Posted: 12/9/2005 9:03:34 PM
Did anyone else witness this or can you sneak jesus back into the manger later tonight?
Now, those dogs just may have been following my hard and fast rule that I grew up with....no baby Jesus in the nativity until Christmas Day! They were just righting a wrong!
We had that rule growing up too! |
~~~~ end of message ~~~~
Mom to James, Ryan, Dani and Mikey | |
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