My Dogs Attacked Baby Jesus - Updated in OP
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 12/9/2005 by Dharma in NSBR Board
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Lumo
Carolina dorkburger

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:06:50 PM
Since the original OP is gone, I was asked to repost it here in what was originally the second post! Here ya go:


My Dogs Attacked Baby Jesus

Ripped his little plastic self right out of the neighbor's nativity. Knocked Mary down, jumped on Joseph, barked at the donkeys. Hay was everywhere.

I am so sick, all I could do was moan and point while my SO chased them down the street screaming "Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"

As an adult, that is the closest I have ever come to peeing my pants on a public street.

Now we have to tell the neighbors and spring for a new babe in the manger. The dogs were bummed and we hid the mangled child in our garage. How many stores do you think we'll have to visit before we find a match?

::Updated Later That Afternoon::

Well, the wife took it well, the husband not so much. He said "Well I'm glad you came over with an explanation, because we were calling the Sheriff just now." OMG! How to explain this to the cops?!

After about 2 hours of searching stores for Jesus, I came home and as luck would have it, our other neighbors gave us the 411 - someone sold those nativity sets door to door in the 70s. Yes, the 70s. And they still had theirs. Yes! Jesus was returned to the manger with a new Mary and Joseph to boot!

I told my SO, NO the dogs may not have the stolen Jesus to play with. We were going to take the dogs to see the big light display in town, but they can just forget it now.

--------------------------------------------

i'm sorry, but this just made me LOL!


---
Kelly


~ Anna ~
:blink:

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:08:02 PM
I'm telling you all, dogs in packs are dangerous... Where's my gun!


~ Anna ~

Deep
PeaFixture

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:08:52 PM
Dang, now they've got dogs involved in the war on Christmas.


"Why can't I get a little ahead instead of a bigger behind?"

dalayney
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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:09:52 PM
""Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"


LMAO... sorry.... it's just..... hee hee.... funny mental picture.... would make a good SNL skit! Anyone seen the skit where Cheri Oteri is the lady in curlers on her front porch and is always trying to compete w/her neighbor and each other's outside manger scenes??? Man.... I would have love to seen this.



WannaPea
No Peas for you ! Come back one year!

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:10:28 PM
OH no they di-in't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And just "who who who who who----let the dogs out"?


Cop's wife - Mom to one
"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike." ~ Delos B. McKown

love labs
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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:10:41 PM
I am ROFLOL! That in a video would easily have made you the big winner on America's Funniest Videos!

Hopefully you were on good terms with your neighbors BEFORE the attack!


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loridg
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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:10:46 PM
LOL, thanks for making me laugh today



Ever had a day like this?

Sunshine36616
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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:11:42 PM
That mishap made me think of my favorite family Christmas story.

My cousin Kathy got attacked by a donkey at one of those living nativity scenes. She went to pet him and the donkey latched on to her hand. All the adults were smacking the donkey and pulling.

Hard not to laugh.



Just Lizzy
Original Pea #5005

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:11:59 PM
I know I shouldn't be laughing at this, but it's ROFL funny! Did you get any pictures?


Feeder of Denali, Dakota, Shadow & Kai

veggieburger
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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:12:12 PM

The dogs were bummed and we hid the mangled child in our garage.


please, no disrespect meant here (just admiration), this may be the funniest post I've ever read!


"Dogs are our link to paradise.
They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent.
To sit with a dog on a hillside on a
glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden,
where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace."

~Milan Kundera


heartcat
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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:14:48 PM
It was clearly a political statement. They were obviously intent on taking the 'Christ' out of 'Christmas'.

Are your dogs pitbulls? I bet they're pitbulls! Further proof of the fact that they'll attack and savage without provocation!


***********
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My blog: Nifty Thrifty and (Almost!) Fifty

melissa ...
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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:18:16 PM

"Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"



My cousin Kathy got attacked by a donkey at one of those living nativity scenes. She went to pet him and the donkey latched on to her hand. All the adults were smacking the donkey and pulling.




It was clearly a political statement. They were obviously intent on taking the 'Christ' out of 'Christmas'.

Are your dogs pitbulls? I bet they're pitbulls! Further proof of the fact that they'll attack and savage without provocation!



OMG I am PEEING in my pants ..... tears are rolling down my face ... I seriously hope DH stays downstairs ...


************************************************


::*~it is what it is~*::


msmincina
Proud to be an American PEA

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:25:05 PM
No disrespect intended, but this is one of the funniest posts I have ever read. I am laughing so hard tears are rolling down my face. The mental picture is hilarious...especially of SO running down the street yelling "Bring the Saviour back". I hope that your neighbors will be good sports about it and get a laugh or two out of the situation.

Keep us posted on what the neighbors have to say when they see their desecrated Nativity.


Joanne
GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS
GOD BLESS AMERICA...LAND OF THE FREE, BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE
9/11/01...WE WILL NEVER FORGET
PRAYING FOR ALL VICTIMS OF NATURAL DIASTERS AND TERRORIST ATTACKS

poohbear1029
BucketHead

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:29:33 PM
Oh my Gosh! I dont think I have laughed this hard in forever!!!

Now, those dogs just may have been following my hard and fast rule that I grew up with....no baby Jesus in the nativity until Christmas Day! They were just righting a wrong!



WannaPea
No Peas for you ! Come back one year!

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:31:08 PM
OMG, I'm LOL at the "taking Christ out of Christmas".........you guys are hilarious!


Cop's wife - Mom to one
"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike." ~ Delos B. McKown

renaissancewoo
AncestralPea

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:32:54 PM
LoL! I don't mean any disrespect by laughing, but the "visual" is just too much!


ROF, they're not pit bulls, but we are concerned that they're atheists.



ROFL!!!

You DO realize that "god" spelled backwards is "dog", right? They're evviiiiil I tell ya!



justem
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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:42:23 PM
Thank you for cheering me up!! That is hilarious!


My Blog: justem



Gagemom
To new beginnings....

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:43:58 PM
LOL!!! I'm laughing but I feel so dirty hehe
Just don'tforget to say "Merry Christmas when you return baby Jesus back to the manger



Original pea #460>


Equal opportunity thread killer







234qj5 34q6h0h0000h9
Peareft

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:47:59 PM
This is hilarious, Dharma! I'll bet the AP would like this story.



Badger
Lip Balm?

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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:50:38 PM
For your dogs:



Frankly, I wouldn't dare say the other greeting around them for fear of what they'd do to me.


Cindy

scrappinfuzzylover
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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:53:27 PM
Now THAT is funny!!




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world will change forever. ---AUTHOR UNKNOWN

**GypsyGirl**
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Posted: 12/9/2005 6:59:54 PM

while SO chased them down the street screaming "Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"


This is the funniest thing I've read on TwoPeas in a very long time! I'm just glad I'd already finished my Starbuck's latte before I did read it.

I'm sure they were quite proud of themselves for rescuing baby Jesus and holding the donkey at bay while doing so! How are you going to scrap this?


Toni
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bekalab
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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:04:45 PM



Sunshine36616
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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:07:16 PM

They were obviously intent on taking the 'Christ' out of 'Christmas'.
bwahahahahahahaha



wholarmor
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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:14:46 PM
Heehee. That would have been funny if you got it on video or got pictures.


Kris
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Sunshine36616
God peas protect me from your followers

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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:15:29 PM
Do you know what an awesome SB page that would have made?!??!



melissa ...
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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:16:01 PM

Should we say a few words? Wrap him up maybe? It seemed wrong to balance him on the lawn mower.



LMAO


************************************************


::*~it is what it is~*::


Deep
PeaFixture

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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:18:29 PM

Wrap him up maybe?


Do you happen to have any swaddling clothing in the garage?


"Why can't I get a little ahead instead of a bigger behind?"

melissa ...
PeaFixture

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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:19:01 PM
*Heads bowed over the wrapped up plastic Jesus*

"We are sorry our dogs attacked you. We are thinking of enrolling them in anger managment classes. We may also start taking them to religion classes so that they may get a better understanding of other religions. Rest peacefully, ye of plastic-ness."


************************************************


::*~it is what it is~*::


*elaine*
Autism doesn't have a mute button...

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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:22:00 PM
This is the hardest I've laughed on this board in a while!

I bet that Bill O'Reilly would pay big bucks for that footage! It would be much better than the year old Daily Show footage he used earlier.


I'm telling you all, dogs in packs are dangerous... Where's my gun!
But Anna, what if your aim was off? You could end up shooting the Baby Jesus!


Cheers,
Elaine

*******************************************************************
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eversograceful1
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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:29:16 PM
Seriously, I just shot water through my nose. That is too funny! My dogs just growl and bark at the things. Thanks for making me laugh so hard.



littlefish
Peain' in the Pool

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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:35:23 PM
Too.
Freakin'.
Funny.

Ranks up there with the thread the other night where someone's 3 yo DD pointed up at the crucifix during Catholic mass and called out "Hey, who's the dead guy?"



Julie

Janice_in_TX
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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:36:02 PM
Hilarious!!!!

Janice



revrob
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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:42:59 PM
They're DARKSIDED I tell ya'! DARKSIDED!



TREZmom
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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:55:05 PM
my kids just came in and asked if I was crying or laughing...this is too funny! (no disrespect intended towards baby Jesus though)



Sunshine36616
God peas protect me from your followers

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Posted: 12/9/2005 7:55:54 PM

They're DARKSIDED I tell ya'! DARKSIDED!
Yes, obviously those dogs are tainted.



Janice_in_TX
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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:05:10 PM
You can still take pictures! You could take some of what's left of the nativity scene (sans baby) and one of the "mangled child." And then a couple of your naughty dogs!

This would make an awesome scrapbook layout! You MUST take pictures.

Janice



northernlite
Gone and now forgotten

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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:05:47 PM
I'm going straight to hell. (for laughing)



love labs
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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:08:13 PM

I'm going straight to hell. (for laughing)
You'll be in good company--we'll save you a seat!


----------------------------------------------------------

If life is a journey, shouldn't you be moving along?

Susie2
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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:08:27 PM
Clearly your dogs are on the side of "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."


Susie

MNBonnie
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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:09:32 PM
PIMP!



Totally sounds like something one of our dogs would do. Hope you find a replacement babe to wrap in swaddling clothes.



TinaFB
the lunatics have taken over the asylum

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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:11:31 PM
I'm cracking up here. I even read it to dh!



Tina


cannes
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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:24:07 PM
This is now officially my favorite post. I laughed so hard I peed a little in my pants.


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pea-sun

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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:29:47 PM
Too funny!

Alyson


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aly


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kschmitz
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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:32:24 PM
That is freakin' hysterical! Please, please give us an update!



Anna in TX
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:36:11 PM
This is the funniest post I've read, ever. EVER. I read it to DH; he told me to stop crying. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

Oh to have seen a video...



Stelorwal
Four out of Five Dentists Recommend Stephanie.

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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:40:50 PM
Please tell me someone got this on tape!

And I am sorry to admit I laughed...a lot.



mowse
iCoupon

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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:41:27 PM
classic

this is one of those stories that will be told over and over...the stuff of legends.



janet_o
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Posted: 12/9/2005 8:43:41 PM
I am SO glad I clicked on NSBR tonight. You have GOT to post an update and let us know what happened...that is freaking hilarious!


Janet


Mely
Right you are Ken

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Posted: 12/9/2005 9:03:34 PM
Did anyone else witness this or can you sneak jesus back into the manger later tonight?


Now, those dogs just may have been following my hard and fast rule that I grew up with....no baby Jesus in the nativity until Christmas Day! They were just righting a wrong!


We had that rule growing up too!


~~~~ end of message ~~~~


Mom to James, Ryan, Dani and Mikey
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