My granddaughter's dad is an ass...part 2

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Posted 11/23/2012 by grammanisi in NSBR Board
 

grammanisi
peaing from my beach room

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Posted: 11/23/2012 10:23:27 PM


Her uncle(dad's brother) and his wife have always been very close to DGD. Her uncle has had no relationship with his brother(her dad) for several years. She has spent part of Thanksgiving with her uncle for 4-5 years. Her grandmother and aunt(dad's sister) have always been invited, too. This year her uncle texted her and told her that her dad, step-mother and 1/2 brothers were going to be joining them. At first she said she was not going. As time went on, she really wanted to see her brothers(she hasn't seen them for almost a year). She decided to go, but was apprehensive. When she got there, one of her brothers was not there. Her youngest brother didn't even know who she was and that made her sad. The kicker of the whole day, is that her dad and step-mother never once spoke to her. NOT ONE WORD. She said "hi" to them when she went in and they didn't respond. They didn't stay for very long, so she was able to spend some time with the rest of her family.

She said that she is done. No more. He is not ever going to hurt her again.

I give her credit for making an effort and would like to punch him in the face for not.



Denise
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BuckeyeSandy
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Posted: 11/23/2012 10:37:15 PM
That is beyond sad. How old is your DGD?


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beachgurl
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Posted: 11/23/2012 10:59:20 PM
I guess my question is, why does anyone in the family have anything at all to do with this man and his wife, if they act like this and other people see it too?




scrapper100
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Posted: 11/23/2012 11:00:17 PM
How horrible - ass is to nice a word to describe him. I am curious as well as to how old she is. Poor thing. She is much better off without him.


Patti

asr70
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Posted: 11/23/2012 11:12:06 PM
What a jerk.




ScrapsontheRocks
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Posted: 11/24/2012 1:00:09 AM
That is truly awful. Hope the hurt starts to fade really quickly, and that the resolve remains. Your granddaughter has more maturity than the ass, that's for sure!

SuPeaNatural
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Posted: 11/24/2012 1:43:59 AM
Your poor DGD, sounds like she handled the meeting well and I can't blame her for being done with her father.

My XH was a real piece of work too. Now that my boys are all adults they don't have anything to do with him, and he tells people he doesn't know why.

I can imagine a time, many years in the future, when your former SIL will want to see his daughter again and, like my ex, he'll wonder why she won't give him the time of day.

I don't know if parents like this are really that clueless, or if they just won't admit - even to themselves - that it was their behaviour and treatment that caused the estrangement.



matleavepea
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Posted: 11/24/2012 8:56:57 AM
as crappy as that is (and it is crappy), she can walk away now and KNOW that she has no relationship with this man - a nail in the coffin of the father/daughter relationship.

i have an odd relationship with my dad myself. it baffles me that people can have children and then just check out. my SIL has washed her hands of her 18 yo DD and has decided "it's time to take care of me".

grammanisi
peaing from my beach room

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Posted: 11/24/2012 9:12:03 PM
She's 18.


I guess my question is, why does anyone in the family have anything at all to do with this man and his wife, if they act like this and other people see it too?


Part of it is the fact that his mother does not have a backbone. Those kids walk all over her and always have. Another(my thinking anyway) is that DGD's uncle and his wife are having their first baby in February and I imagine that the mom wanted all of her kids together for Thanksgiving(first time in many years). I doubt that they will all be together again any time soon.


Denise
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adoette
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Posted: 11/24/2012 10:53:24 PM
I am the sister of an ass-y brother. My niece's mother has been beyond gracious in letting us have involvement in her life. I am not sure if I was in her shoes I could do the same thing.

My brother has remarried and recently had another daughter. I am friends with him on Facebook as is my niece. It honestly breaks my heart for her. He is so over the moon about his new daughter (he was 22 when my niece was born and he is now 39). But he speaks in terms of never having felt this way before for another human.

My niece is a wonderful young lady and will forever be grateful to her mother for letting us be a part of her life. But sometimes I wonder if we are hurting her more than helping her. But I would do anything for her. So I suppose having lots of people in her corner might make up for one asshole.

I am so sorry for your DGD, but I guess what I am trying to say is, thank you for letting her have a relationship with asshole's family. I am sure it means the world to them.


mnm_y2
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Posted: 11/24/2012 11:17:58 PM

My brother has remarried and recently had another daughter. I am friends with him on Facebook as is my niece. It honestly breaks my heart for her. He is so over the moon about his new daughter (he was 22 when my niece was born and he is now 39). But he speaks in terms of never having felt this way before for another human.


My ex-SIL left her 3 kids with my brother and went on to have her own life. She's got a new daughter now and like you say, I see the things she posts on FB about this new baby and know my nieces & nephew see it too. She's posted a few pictures of when she has seen my brother's kids- about once every year or two, and doesn't post that those are also her kids. I know that she will probably regret that later on in life.


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freecharlie
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Posted: 11/24/2012 11:29:53 PM
My BIL cheated on my ex-SIL and left to marry the other woman. Current SIL is a bitch of epic proportions and has been nothing by evil to my niece. BIL went along with his wife and hurt his daughter too many times to count.

Luckily ex-SIL is not completely evil. She lets us see niece and has gone on vacation with us. Niece and I are friends on FB.

BIL is being deployed for a year. He was recently here to visit ILs and wanted to fly niece out for his time here. She refused to come. He was mopey about it, but I saw this coming. DH has told his brother for years that the way BIL chose wife over child was going to bite him in the ass. Seems like that came true.

It sucks because I know my niece hurts and this jackass adult is the one doing it.


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enjoytotheend
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Posted: 11/25/2012 2:21:54 AM
Man her dad treats her like crap. I remember one of your last posts that talked about leaving her out of family pictures. What an awful father and man!
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