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Spiffie
PeaAddict
PeaNut 276,078
September 2006
Posts: 1,380
Layouts: 7
Loc: Stuck in the middle with you...
 |  Posted: 12/3/2012 8:08:55 PM
I'm sorry if this has been discussed before, but how do you feel about this type of fundraising?
I have some friends who have 3 biological boys and have decided to adopt a girl from China. I think it's great! They are great people, kids are well behaved and I have no doubt about their ability to raise another child. But, they post ALL THE TIME on Facebook about "donating", "raffling", "fundraising" for the fees that they will incur.
I guess I'm just not sure how I feel about asking people to help pay for the adoption. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm not mad or pea livid or anything like that at all. Just genuinely trying to decide how I feel about it. Is it any different than people fundraising to pay say a hospital bill for the birth of a child?
Again, just looking for some different perspectives! Thanks! |
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gorgeouskid
You gots to access your uncrazy side.
PeaNut 83,119
April 2003
Posts: 9,741
Layouts: 10
 |  Posted: 12/3/2012 8:17:43 PM
I hide people who make frequent fundraising requests on Facebook. (Including breast cancer awareness, donors choose, homeless walk, etc.) Once in a while, I don't mind, but every day is far too often.
I would put this person on hide, for sure. | |
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cmpeter
PEAceful Pea
PeaNut 14,521
April 2001
Posts: 34,380
Layouts: 31
Loc: Washington State
 | Posted: 12/3/2012 8:17:52 PM
I personally wouldn't donate to something like that. |
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gavinsmom
AncestralPea
PeaNut 9,019
January 2001
Posts: 4,576
Layouts: 22
Loc: michigan
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:19:37 PM
I think some fundraiser is fine as long as it is done tastefully but I don't care for pleas on facebook! |
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Georgiapea
Mom to the Wild Things.
PeaNut 96,783
July 2003
Posts: 26,430
Layouts: 0
Loc: Poss-a-Dillo Hill, Ozark, AL
 | Posted: 12/3/2012 8:19:39 PM
They have the right to do it. I have the right to donate or not, based on how I feel about the situation, using criteria of my choosing. | |
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papersilly
Don't let the dreamkillers get me
PeaNut 109,681
October 2003
Posts: 6,223
Layouts: 112
Loc: so. california
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:23:16 PM
i don't understand this either and seeing those kinds of pleas make me uncomfortable. it makes me wonder how they can afford the child if they couldn't even afford to get the child. i know adoption is expensive but if you can't even save for that, how will you pay for the next 18 years worth of expenses? |
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shescrafty2
PeaFixture
PeaNut 178,427
November 2004
Posts: 3,344
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 12/3/2012 8:24:00 PM
We adopted internationally twice and raised the money ourselves. That said, I do not begrudge anybody else who does fundraising for an adoption. Folks can either participate or not.
I have a friend who fundraises ALL YEAR LONG for her Avon walk. The month before the walk I hide her because it is a constant plea for money to be donated. To me it is the same thing. |
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your true character is shown not by how you treat people you agree with, but how you treat those you don't
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child of grace
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 274,600
August 2006
Posts: 7,252
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:29:08 PM
Without fund raising, how DO you raise the money? | |
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ilovebuble
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 539,539
January 2012
Posts: 2,482
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 12/3/2012 8:29:19 PM
Hitting your friends up for money over the internet annoys me, no matter the cause. | |
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shescrafty2
PeaFixture
PeaNut 178,427
November 2004
Posts: 3,344
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:30:22 PM
i don't understand this either and seeing those kinds of pleas make me uncomfortable. it makes me wonder how they can afford the child if they couldn't even afford to get the child. i know adoption is expensive but if you can't even save for that, how will you pay for the next 18 years worth of expenses?
I know none of my friends would have been able to fork over $25,000 to $30,000 in order to become parents because they told me so, LOL. But they all support their children with no problem. |
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your true character is shown not by how you treat people you agree with, but how you treat those you don't
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shescrafty2
PeaFixture
PeaNut 178,427
November 2004
Posts: 3,344
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:33:33 PM
Without fund raising, how DO you raise the money?
You save like crazy! Honestly no eating out, basic cable, etc. I worked an extra job on the weekends to pay for Christmas for my family. |
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your true character is shown not by how you treat people you agree with, but how you treat those you don't
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cmpeter
PEAceful Pea
PeaNut 14,521
April 2001
Posts: 34,380
Layouts: 31
Loc: Washington State
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:37:45 PM
Without fund raising, how DO you raise the money?
The same way you raise the money for things like a down payment on a house, retirement savings, college savings. |
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MikeWozowski
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 174,400
October 2004
Posts: 7,465
Layouts: 20
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:38:01 PM
you save up. | |
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busypea
boring + nerdy
PeaNut 52,817
October 2002
Posts: 25,205
Layouts: 145
Loc: Oregon
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:41:14 PM
While I'm usually kind of uptight about things like this, the adoption fundraising thing does not bother me.
I guess I feel like supporting people I believe to be good parents expand or start their family is a worthy thing. Many people find the huge lump sums that are required for adoption to be difficult to save but have no problem with the normal expenses of life. I know when my cousin adopted their daughter from Russia, it was almost $50,000 when all was said and done (including travel). Lacking that kind of lump sum doesn't mean a family is destitute and couldn't afford to raise a child. My cousin and her DH were able to afford it without asking for help, but they recognize that not everyone can. After listening to them talk about what they saw in Russia and how badly those children need families (and of course elsewhere - that's just the only place they had firsthand experience), I followed their lead and decided to change my tune on adoption fundraising.
I'm glad I did and that I've been even a tiny part of bringing a few families together. At the end of the day, it's helping a child who needs a home get one and a couple who wants a child to have one. To me, it's win-win and I'm happy to contribute. | |
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writermom1
Thrift Whisperer
PeaNut 114,407
November 2003
Posts: 22,319
Layouts: 66
Loc: At the intersection of Hooterville and Stars Hollow
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:42:12 PM
Doesn't bother me. If people feel moved to give they can and if they don't - they can pass. |
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Regina Phalange
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 369,340
March 2008
Posts: 2,493
Layouts: 0
Loc: Steeler Country!
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busypea
boring + nerdy
PeaNut 52,817
October 2002
Posts: 25,205
Layouts: 145
Loc: Oregon
| Posted: 12/3/2012 8:44:42 PM
Why don't I see people castigating pregnant women drilling them about whether or not THEY can afford to raise a child??
You've been at Two Peas for four years and have never seen that?  It definitely happens. | |
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Spiffie
PeaAddict
PeaNut 276,078
September 2006
Posts: 1,380
Layouts: 7
Loc: Stuck in the middle with you...
| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:11:56 PM
Thank you for the replies.
I find it amazing how adoptive parents are put through such a financial ringer just to have the chance to be a parent.
Why don't I see people castigating pregnant women drilling them about whether or not THEY can afford to raise a child??
To be clear, I am not questioning whether they can or can't afford to raise another child. I am just curious about their methods of raising the money. Of course, anyone who wishes to donate can do so! I never said they shouldn't/couldn't.
Sorry if I ruffled any feathers! Again, I am just trying to gain other perspectives - and I have seen some good things! |
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AnneMD
PeaAddict
PeaNut 321,764
June 2007
Posts: 1,183
Layouts: 15
Loc: Northwest Washington State
| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:20:26 PM
Well, I guess if you don't want to donate, then don't. I personally would not be offended or upset about a fundraiser - but what I can't stand is the constant repeated pleas for donations after the original request has been made. But if this is someone I am close to - and I have the means - then yes, I would donate to help them out. Just like I'll buy cookie dough from the kid next door when he is doing his school fund raiser if I want to help him.
As for if the parents can afford a baby if they need a fundraiser to adopt - that seems silly to me. Adoption is very expensive. There is no insurance to cover adoption. Often, adoption comes on the heels of a long and expensive struggle with infertility that also may not be covered by insurance (our insurance did not cover infertility).
I took part in a cookbook fundraiser - gathered recipes from all of my family and friends and had a cookbook published. Then I sold the cookbook to whoever wanted to buy one. (Now, I will say, that I didn't make repeated attempts to sell the cookbook - just one announcement!) The sales helped with our adoption fees. I also worked 7 days a week during our adoption "Paper Chase." We used our VISA to cover plane tickets. We downsized to a smaller home. We quit eating out. I missed my best friends wedding because I couldn't afford to fly home to be there. That was hard...and I could go on and on. We made it happen.
I guess I don't understand why some people (not you, OP - just people in general) get so upset about this issue. |
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angievp
Ideay pues?
PeaNut 143,106
April 2004
Posts: 6,643
Layouts: 36
Loc: Miami
| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:25:54 PM
Without fund raising, how DO you raise the money?
You save up. One of my friends at work--M. she's an attorney. Her husband is an attorney. They've been saving to adopt a child from India. She's Indian born in the U.S. and he's Anglo. She explained to me that India is very restrictive about foreign adoptions. So, they are saving, saving their money for a private adoption in India. They sold their second car, moved to a smaller apartment, cut cable. They don't eat out, she brings her lunch EVERY DAY. She told me they are almost reaching their goal.
She's had rounds of IVF but they either don't result in pregnancy or she has miscarried. They have paid for all those IVF treatments out of pocket.
So, it can be done. | |
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Regina Phalange
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 369,340
March 2008
Posts: 2,493
Layouts: 0
Loc: Steeler Country!
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VexedAngel
Cold Pea on a Cracked Plate
PeaNut 156,343
July 2004
Posts: 5,092
Layouts: 46
| Posted: 12/3/2012 9:37:12 PM
I'm generally supportive of it, although maybe not in the case you've shared. |
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MizCindy
PeaFixture
PeaNut 283,235
November 2006
Posts: 3,923
Layouts: 0
Loc: The Buckeye State
| Posted: 12/3/2012 10:19:36 PM
I see adoption - well, maybe int'l adoption more so - as literally "
rescuing an orphan. Most of the kids adopted are not sitting in a castle playing with Legos and eating chocolates. Most are in an orphanage, every grade from deplorable to tolerable, but still without a family. I would donate to an adoption just as surely as I would donate to other forms of orphan care. I truly wish the fees were less so that more people could adopt - most of these kids, here in the US or around the world, just need a family. Many many families would gladly add them to their family, but for the $20-30,000 in fees. Crazy. I actually have an account where I put extra money just for this purpose. | |
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Maizie
* Happy Camper *
PeaNut 223,117
September 2005
Posts: 16,351
Layouts: 22
Loc: Heffalump Hollow
 | Posted: 12/3/2012 10:21:16 PM
I have a very hard time with this kind if "fundraising"!!! It is something they personally want to do then they need to lay for it. I know a few people who are or recently have done this for various PERSONAL desires, touching I am sure, but I do feel it is not up for others to pay for. And, as a friend or associate I hate that pressure to participate or looking bad to not participate. Fund your own personal desires.... Just like I do - we save, cut spending, make changes, plan years out, etc. |
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andi from sandy
PeaAddict
PeaNut 44,791
August 2002
Posts: 1,519
Layouts: 1
Loc: Somewhere
| Posted: 12/3/2012 11:18:54 PM
Seriously?? I am in China right now, finalizing the adoption of my daughter. I would have loved help with the fees, but I did it on my own. I sold stuff, pawned stuff, borrowed, and sacrificed. I would never fault anyone for fundraising. It is expensive, and the fees come in waves of big sums, and so many of these kids need homes. Most of the people I know that do fund raise are doing so to adopt a special needs child and really can't afford to come up with the fees in a timely manner., yet can afford to support the child. As for me, I make enough money to support me and her, as if that is anyone's business, but to automatically come up with the $25,000 to come get her at the drop of a hat, to just save it up would have taken a very long time. I am lucky that I had the stuff to sell and pawn. I will be paying the loan off for some time, selling my house to get a smaller one, and driving an older car for a long time. And that is OKAY!! I am not even going to go into the amount of money lost on fertility treatments or the 3 failed adoptions I had while waiting for her. |
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,079
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 12/3/2012 11:28:19 PM
It is so expensive to adopt and every day there are babies born into situations where they are orphaned. I see it as a rescue as well.
When I decided to have a child, I was able to get pregnant easily and my medical appointments were covered 100% by insurance. I paid $200 copay to give birth at the hospital. Obviously, there are other costs involved with raising any child, but actually becoming a parent was relatively inexpensive for our situation. I am very blessed to not have had to worry about the finances needed to simply bring a child into our family. I have no issues with anyone who is trying to become an adoptive parent and bring an orphaned child into a loving home doing fundraising to make it happen faster for them. It could take many years to simply save up on your own and many couples who adopt have possibly spent years trying to conceive a child without success. The longer they take to save up for the adoption fees means a child goes without a loving family that much longer.
If you aren't interested in reading their updates on their fundraising efforts each day, it's understandable to just put their feeds on ignore in your settings. But to the others suggesting its wrong to ask for support and help in collecting the adoption fees, I just don't agree.
ETA: Andrea, congratulations on your adoption! I'm so happy for you! I pray it wraps up smoothly for you and you have a safe journey home and adjust quickly to your new "normal" with your sweet daughter. | |
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cocoanmom
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 285,775
November 2006
Posts: 2,624
Layouts: 31
| Posted: 12/3/2012 11:38:48 PM
I can totally support anyone doing fund raising for adoption . Anything to make the process go faster. It does not bother me at all.
If I feel that I can give I would.
It would take a long time for a couple to raise that kind of money up front for some people. There are windows in age to adopt. So you don't have 5- 10 years to just save save save like for a house. Some people have a short amount of time to gather up the fees before they age out.
The hoops adoptive parents have to jump through to become parents is really long ,invasive, and expensive . It is sad really that there are so many that want to adopt and children waiting for families.Cost is a biggest hurdle a lot of times.people raise money for all kinds of things. I'd rather give to this cause then support a baseball team to get new uniforms or something frivolous.
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beachgurl
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 288,459
December 2006
Posts: 5,619
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/3/2012 11:59:31 PM
I see adoption - well, maybe int'l adoption more so - as literally "
rescuing an orphan. Most of the kids adopted are not sitting in a castle playing with Legos and eating chocolates. Most are in an orphanage, every grade from deplorable to tolerable, but still without a family. I would donate to an adoption just as surely as I would donate to other forms of orphan care. I truly wish the fees were less so that more people could adopt - most of these kids, here in the US or around the world, just need a family. Many many families would gladly add them to their family, but for the $20-30,000 in fees. Crazy. I actually have an account where I put extra money just for this purpose.
I know a couple who are fundraising right now to adopt their second special needs child from an east european country. She was waiting to be adopted when my dgd was, only she is STILL waiting. My heart breaks for her and I am thrilled almost beyond words that this family is willing to add her. I don't really understand why someone would think that it would be better for her to sit there in that orphanage with mimimal care, than it would be for a family to take her in. It's not like they are fundraising for a new car for themselves. They are fundraising for the opportunity to help this girl. |
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~*~Jen~*~
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 219,004
August 2005
Posts: 2,118
Layouts: 8
Loc: New York
| Posted: 12/4/2012 3:31:21 AM
I think if you want to adopt a baby, you save the $$$. If you so desperately want to parent a child, there are thousands upon thousands of children in foster care in this country. |
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gotcreativity
To Boldly Go Where No Pea Has Gone Before
PeaNut 141,330
April 2004
Posts: 8,802
Layouts: 5
Loc: Destination Imagination Global Finals
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peaname
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 510,579
June 2011
Posts: 2,472
Layouts: 0
Loc: The Land of Steady Habits
| Posted: 12/4/2012 6:04:12 AM
On Facebook only? I would either hide them or just scroll. I have a friend who is contstantly pushing 31 Gifts but she doesn't leave it on fb, she also does it in person. Ugh. |
| "People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character." - Ralph Waldo Emerson | |
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PEAce sign
i'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious.
PeaNut 274,722
August 2006
Posts: 12,914
Layouts: 0
Loc: OH-IO!
| Posted: 12/4/2012 6:57:50 AM
I have no problem with adoption fundraising. I've known several who have.
I think it's a dangerous slope when only the "wealthy" can adopt. adoption agencies don't care if you're wealthy, only that you can support and love the children. love has nothing to do with money.
Adopting from foster care isn't an option for everyone it's damn hard!!
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writermom1
Thrift Whisperer
PeaNut 114,407
November 2003
Posts: 22,319
Layouts: 66
Loc: At the intersection of Hooterville and Stars Hollow
| Posted: 12/4/2012 7:12:25 AM
I think it is tacky and would wonder what their adoption agency would have to say about it. I mean, if they are not financially able to adopt, wouldn't that have some bearing on them?
More than one response implied that they should save and be able to afford to adopt as a measure of financial fitness?
Using this analogy should only those who can afford to pay for a birth outright with no assistance via health insurance be considered financially fit to parent? I realize it may be apples and oranges but since there is no health coverage for adoption that I'm aware of, it's closer than we might think. Both bio birth and adoption have a procedural cost. If I was close enough to someone to be showering them at the time of a birth then I would feel equally generous at the time of adoption.
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short1cake
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 428,727
July 2009
Posts: 2,329
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 7:19:39 AM
For those that think it's tacky, do you make posts about your child selling cookies or popcorn? For a child that needs a home, this is about the possibility of them having a normal, loving family instead of living in an orphanage. I think that child's future is much more important than your child's Girl Scout adventures or T-ball game. | |
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katybee8
AncestralPea
PeaNut 421,136
April 2009
Posts: 4,947
Layouts: 8
Loc: Chicago NW burbs
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 7:19:47 AM
I would not donate to the fundraiser in the OP because they have three children already. If it was someone who had been TTC for years and gave up, I might, but not in this case. | |
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domoo
OMG....Did I really say that out loud?
PeaNut 262,693
May 2006
Posts: 5,762
Layouts: 7
Loc: Louisville, K
| Posted: 12/4/2012 7:32:32 AM
I will admit to being shocked the first couple of times I saw this kind of thing on my FB page and yes, I thought it was pretty tacky.
Since that time one of my very best friend's daughters have become very involved with adopting from Congo. The orphanages there are so full that they have an age limit of 5 years old. Once a child turns 5, he or she is turned out to live on his or her own. In a very unpleasant and dangerous country. The stories are heartbreaking. Adopting those kids out of there is wildly expensive, from paperwork to travel expenses.
So far, my friend has 4 new grandchildren and I have changed my way of thinking:
I see adoption - well, maybe int'l adoption more so - as literally "
rescuing an orphan.
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PEAce sign
i'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious.
PeaNut 274,722
August 2006
Posts: 12,914
Layouts: 0
Loc: OH-IO!
| Posted: 12/4/2012 8:01:41 AM
The orphanages there are so full that they have an age limit of 5 years old. Once a child turns 5, he or she is turned out to live on his or her own.
are you curse word kidding me???!!! wow. | |
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melanell
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 26,836
January 2002
Posts: 14,503
Layouts: 86
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 8:04:00 AM
I don't have any issue with it.
If you don't wish to donate, do not do so.
If the FB posts bother you, hide them.
I can't find it in my heart to begrudge anyone who is trying to find a way to help better the life of a child. | |
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agengr2004
Support Nuclear Power
PeaNut 132,136
February 2004
Posts: 13,191
Layouts: 3
Loc: We were southbound 35...
| Posted: 12/4/2012 8:12:44 AM
I can totally support anyone doing fund raising for adoption . Anything to make the process go faster. It does not bother me at all.
If I feel that I can give I would.
It would take a long time for a couple to raise that kind of money up front for some people. There are windows in age to adopt. So you don't have 5- 10 years to just save save save like for a house. Some people have a short amount of time to gather up the fees before they age out.
The hoops adoptive parents have to jump through to become parents is really long ,invasive, and expensive . It is sad really that there are so many that want to adopt and children waiting for families.Cost is a biggest hurdle a lot of times.people raise money for all kinds of things. I'd rather give to this cause then support a baseball team to get new uniforms or something frivolous.
I agree. Not to mention that there have probably been thousands of dollars dropped into unsuccessful fertility treatments (obviously not in the case of the OP). |
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Woobster
The Banana Under the Couch Pea
PeaNut 295,941
February 2007
Posts: 6,608
Layouts: 0
Loc: Somewhere over the rainbow...
| Posted: 12/4/2012 8:28:53 AM
Doesn't bother me. If people feel moved to give they can and if they don't - they can pass.
ITA. | |
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basketlacey
PeaAddict
PeaNut 103,805
August 2003
Posts: 1,509
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/4/2012 8:55:58 AM
I would not donate to the fundraiser in the OP because they have three children already. If it was someone who had been TTC for years and gave up, I might, but not in this case.
As another poster stated, many of these families aren't adopting because they want more kids of their own. They are adopting because they are called to rescue an orphan. So given that scenario, I don't think it matters how many kids they already have at home. I am in awe at the people that welcome these orphans into their homes. It certainly not without sacrafice and commitment. I don't have the strength or courage do to this personally but I am honored to be able to contribute financially to the building of a new family and to give an orphan a chance at a better life.
Right now we are waiting for our two "new" nieces to come home from Ethiopia where they will join their family of four other siblings. |
Basketlacey
Wife to 1; mommy to 3. | |
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snugglebutter
dedicated chocoholic
PeaNut 55,649
November 2002
Posts: 7,087
Layouts: 3
Loc: TX
| Posted: 12/4/2012 8:56:23 AM
I don't have a problem with it.
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Ms. GreenGenes
PeaFixture
PeaNut 140,500
April 2004
Posts: 3,647
Layouts: 44
Loc: Just this side of crazy!
| Posted: 12/4/2012 9:03:55 AM
I agree with all of the others regarding the "rescue" perspective.
If you saw a child abandoned on the side of the road, would you want them to be cared for? That's what these families are doing, except that they first have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars in order to give the child a home.
It's not the money that should be the first consideration, IMO, it's the needs of the orphaned child that matter most. It breaks my heart how many kids are orphaned, especially in places like China, where they are often abandoned by their own parents because they had the misfortune of being born female, or born sick.
I'd donate as much as I could, and be happy to do so. |
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eebud
Doxie Pea Mom
PeaNut 52,841
October 2002
Posts: 31,027
Layouts: 25
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PierKiss
What if everything is an illusion & nothing exists
PeaNut 82,319
April 2003
Posts: 14,424
Layouts: 39
| Posted: 12/4/2012 9:42:21 AM
I don't have a problem with it. Unless they are constantly promoting their fundraiser. Then it just becomes annoying. (Same way I feel about people selling 31 bags or Avon or whatever-no need for the constant sales pitch).
But yeah, I don't think anything bad about people having a fundraiser to raise funds for adoption. The fees are astronomical, and I am always amazed by people who save on their own. |
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myboysnme
one of those "entitled" peas
PeaNut 69,081
February 2003
Posts: 6,737
Layouts: 1
| Posted: 12/4/2012 2:09:45 PM
I don't like when anyone asks me for money for something they want, unless they gave birth to me or I gave birth to them. So fundraising bugs me, from the kid selling cookie dough to the Komen for Cure 3 Day. My kids did not do fundraisers; I wrote a check for whatever was required and sent the materials back to the school.
I have a relative who went to Ethiopia to adopt twice; spent a fortune. At the same time was a show on TV about African American children being adopted by Canadian families because there aren't adoptive families for them here in the US.
It reminds me of the episodes of Sister Wives, which I am drawn to like a train wreck. Cody has umteen children he can't support; Mari has one, but somehow they have the resources for Mari to undergo invitro.
How does one man afford 4 houses, one who wants a hot tub wet bar and pool, and 15 + kids? I guess they are paid well by TLC.
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My choice is to not take it personally - people have opinions. Particularly people here.-Peabay 12/29/11
I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
profile pic courtesy of GreenEyedLady Designs at Scrap ARt Studio.
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,079
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 12/4/2012 4:25:47 PM
I would not donate to the fundraiser in the OP because they have three children already. If it was someone who had been TTC for years and gave up, I might, but not in this case.
I guess this might be understandable if you're viewing adoption as benefiting the parents and helping them raise money so they can get something they want, even though they already have it. But children are not like Televisions or Computers or puppies. "Oh they don't really "need" another one of those- they already have three perfectly good ones."
I view adoption as benefiting an orphaned child. I feel the adoptive family will be making a million sacrifices beyond just financial investments in the life of that child but I'd rather see children in loving homes and families than in some sterile (or perhaps not) orphanage with no one to hug them goodnight, wipe their tears, or just love on them. The child is rescued and the family becomes complete. Win win. | |
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~scrap-it-all~
PeaFixture
PeaNut 7,143
October 2000
Posts: 3,677
Layouts: 0
Loc: IL
| Posted: 12/4/2012 4:51:36 PM
We started a non profit adoption fund to help with our adoption in 2000. We ended up never adopting, and the main reason was the cost. We could afford to raise another child, but we were not willing to go $30K in debt at one time to adopt a child. (well, I would've, but my dh wouldn't)
I started the fund thinking that I would do a few fundraisers, but honestly, I just felt really uncomfortable with that. That being said, I would (and have) donated to other people's fundraisers to adopt. I think they need all the help they can get. Every little bit helps so much. |
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SabrinaM
Proud Member of THE MOB
PeaNut 5,735
August 2000
Posts: 24,764
Layouts: 2
| Posted: 12/4/2012 5:00:01 PM
I find it amazing how adoptive parents are put through such a financial ringer just to have the chance to be a parent.
Why don't I see people castigating pregnant women drilling them about whether or not THEY can afford to raise a child??
... and sometimes handing them an EBT card to pay for food for said child.  |
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Sabrina
Recession: When your neighbor loses his job
Depression: When you lose yours
Recovery: When Obama loses his
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jodster70
To the right, To the right
PeaNut 51,257
October 2002
Posts: 5,567
Layouts: 28
Loc: Usually NSBR, an un"pea"dictable place :)
| Posted: 12/4/2012 5:16:01 PM
I agree with all of the others regarding the "rescue" perspective.
If you saw a child abandoned on the side of the road, would you want them to be cared for? That's what these families are doing, except that they first have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars in order to give the child a home.
It's not the money that should be the first consideration, IMO, it's the needs of the orphaned child that matter most. It breaks my heart how many kids are orphaned, especially in places like China, where they are often abandoned by their own parents because they had the misfortune of being born female, or born sick.
I'd donate as much as I could, and be happy to do so.
ITA.
Steven Curtis Chapman (a Christian musician) adopted 3 girls from China, and started a foundation to help people adopt both here and abroad. It's called Show Hope: A Movement to Care for Orphans. |
**Jody**
"The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government -- lest it come to dominate our lives and interests."
Patrick Henry | |
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