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perumbula
oooh, what you said!
PeaNut 27,933
January 2002
Posts: 10,110
Layouts: 97
Loc: bedlam
 |  Posted: 12/4/2012 10:39:38 AM
Well, her too, but the school more. She's a senior and all seniors were required to do a project. It's purpose was to get them prepared for college and employment. They had to do a resume, fill out a job application, apply to at least one college, etc. It's a good idea and I have no problem with the project as a whole.
I have a problem with the "visit a college" requirement. Every student has to visit at least one college. Fine. My dd has visited four. We even scheduled our family vacation around her visiting two colleges she was interested in. The school decided to start requiring project over the summer and did not let the kids know at the end of the last school year that this would be required before they could graduate. They also decided that summer visits would count but the kids had to have verification from the school that they visited. Not something my dd knew she needed when she visited the schools. 
So now the project is due and my dd's project is considered "incomplete" because she didn't have time this school year to do a "check the box" visit to a college since school started. We live in a rural area. We can't just hop on down to a local college for an hour. They won't take my say so or let me fill out paperwork or anything to verify that we did the college visits. They will only take verification from the University itself. The very busy University staff who are trying to deal with early decision applications and just do their jobs. Who do not have time to reply to my dd's emails asking for verification.
And they can't make up their minds what counts as verification. My dd has been told she has to have an e-mail from them saying she did in fact visit. I went down to the school to try and straighten this whole thing out and they told me they would take anything including an itinerary e-mail that was sent before we visited. This is new.
grrrrrrrrrrrr. I'm so angry. I don't know why either. I know I'm more angry than something like this deserves, but I guess I'm so frustrated that the one thing they won't give her credit for is the one thing we went above and beyond to make happen. She didn't do one college visit, she did FOUR. And they automatically assume the parents would cheat for their kids (school's reasoning) so they won't let me be the verification.
They want her to serve lunch detention until she "completes" a project she's already completed.
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Annabella
Leads a Charmed Life
PeaNut 43,843
July 2002
Posts: 42,259
Layouts: 46
Loc: East Coast
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 10:43:49 AM
That is frustrating but did you email the schools to schedule a tour? Or was it all done by phone? Maybe the colleges keep a list of who visited on each tour. |
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voltagain
OklaPhoma
PeaNut 18,334
July 2001
Posts: 35,142
Layouts: 15
Loc: State of cultural confusion. Yeehaw and Aloha have collided!
| Posted: 12/4/2012 10:45:56 AM
Have you tried asking the university? I know the one I work at we have a recruiting staff dedicated specifically for potential incoming students. They would make the time to send her an email confirming she had visited.. and probably a little blurb about hoping to see her next year as a student.
But they would take the time to do it.
I'd be frustrated at the school too for not having clear expectations before hand. |
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3kidmama
AncestralPea
PeaNut 268,201
July 2006
Posts: 4,928
Layouts: 8
Loc: Northwoods
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 10:53:49 AM
Forcing kids to take a trip (at their own expense and own time) for a High School class grade like this seems crazy! What happens to a kid who can't afford to go? Or to child of a single parent who can't take time off to take their student there? Or to the student who isn't going to go to college?
A dumb and unfair assignment - not everyone NEEDS to attend college.
I can understand requiring assignments like resume's, employment applications etc, but actually VISITING a University? No way! Make it a school field trip if they wish to make it a requirement.
Oh, and assuming that parents can't be trusted to tell the truth? That REALLY angers me!
Something is wrong with the mindset of that High School leadership. | |
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bandjmom
BucketHead
PeaNut 5,085
June 2000
Posts: 894
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 11:00:08 AM
I understand. New requirement at our hs this year -- Freshmen! must earn a certain number of points by attending a one night College Fair, visiting colleges and/or meeting with college reps when they visit the high school.
Oldest ds us a senior. Freshman ds voluntarily visited 3 campuses with us last spring break and summer. We are in the same boat -- they don't want to give him credit for thise visits. He offered to write a report on each visit. He wasn't just sulking along, he paid attention. He's tall and one tour guide thought he was the prospective student.
He is doing all we asked of him -- staying organized, keeping ahead of his block schedule, doing quality work as well as keeping up with the hs swim team schedule which means he's up at 5 every day and at school for a minimum if 12 hours/day. Last Sat.-Sat. they had 4 meets and he swam in all of them.
He has study hall every other day and wants to use it to actually study, rather than be pulled out for Peer Mentoring and other activities which are mandatory, let alone go meet with college reps who aren't concerned with hs freshman.
I have no problem telling my kids there are things in life you just have to do but I'm struggling with this one. Good luck getting your dd's visits verified. | |
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clee321
It is always easier to edit than it is to create
PeaNut 161,211
August 2004
Posts: 9,351
Layouts: 10
Loc: Land of Mold and Pollen
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 11:00:27 AM
any chance you took pictures? You know the ones people do next to the school sign? Or in the school dorm or cafe or at a game or pep rally or something?
Couldn't that be used since this is the first year and they haven't been able to communicate clearly?
How many students are in her class? Is she the only incomplete one? Maybe networking with the parents of other students who have an "incomplete" will help you resolve this. |
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perumbula
oooh, what you said!
PeaNut 27,933
January 2002
Posts: 10,110
Layouts: 97
Loc: bedlam
| Posted: 12/4/2012 11:00:37 AM
I don't know if we do have that e-mail. My dd did all the arrangements herself. She cleans out her e-mail account quite often and it may be deleted.
It's possible she has it but She had no idea an e-mail like that would count because that's not what they told her they wanted. the project is due today at 11:30 and she can't get to a computer between now and then to check anyway. |
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WorkingClassDog
Rick Springfield Junkie
PeaNut 78,429
March 2003
Posts: 14,012
Layouts: 5
Loc: Mountain High Pea
| Posted: 12/4/2012 11:02:32 AM
Geez.. what a crock...
I am frustrated with our school as well. Just found out they cancelled all the spring sports.. budget cuts. And that is even after the boys have started their fundraising projects. Guess that money goes to the fall sports.. Who freakin' knows. |
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Darkangel090260
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 308,882
April 2007
Posts: 2,802
Layouts: 15
| Posted: 12/4/2012 11:06:19 AM
would a copy of the credit card bill from when you where there help. |
| I have quite a few learing disabilitys that effect my spelling a grammer. I do know my grammer and spelling suck. I have been working on this problem all my adult life. | |
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perumbula
oooh, what you said!
PeaNut 27,933
January 2002
Posts: 10,110
Layouts: 97
Loc: bedlam
| Posted: 12/4/2012 11:09:11 AM
The school did arrange for some field trips to colleges but those were scheduled during my dd's marching band trips or on a day she had an important test in a class. She could attend none of them.
We did not take pictures.
Volt I'll look into having her find the name of the incoming student liaison to see if they would have time to e-mail her back. She has been trying to get the verification the school wants, but it's not happening for her. Maybe getting the right name would solve this.
I'm even ok with having her get their verification for them, but she needs more time and shouldn't be penalized because the University is so slow to answer.
Bandjmom, I'm sorry you're going through something similar. School administrators can be such buttheads sometimes. |
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ksuheather
low-information individual
PeaNut 190,373
February 2005
Posts: 7,935
Layouts: 0
Loc: wherever the army sends us
| Posted: 12/4/2012 11:10:11 AM
Is one of the schools you visited Kansas State? If so I know a rep there and she'd probably help you out with an email  |
A veteran is someone who, at one
point in his life, wrote a blank check
made payable to 'The United States of
America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.'
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Zella
PeaFixture
PeaNut 434,965
August 2009
Posts: 3,323
Layouts: 5
Loc: Puget Sound
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 11:20:39 AM
What absolute BS!
Sure, let's punish good kids for the school's sloppy planning.
OP, I'd be right there with you, spitting nails. And I'd be damned if my kid would serve detention. I'd probably escalate it. Go to the school board if needed. Be the squeaky wheel. Or send out e-mails to other parents, since maybe your daughter isn't the only one affected by this. And I would have NO compunction whatsoever in lying to get this "done," since the truth obviously will not suffice.
My only other idea is to visit a local community college or even tech college and get the damn paperwork filled out; would that work?
And to OP and bandjmom: do you have any personal connections to anyone at any college that could provide "proof" for you? |
Trying to live each day for itself
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perumbula
oooh, what you said!
PeaNut 27,933
January 2002
Posts: 10,110
Layouts: 97
Loc: bedlam
| Posted: 12/4/2012 11:30:07 AM
Part of the reason I'm frustrated with my dd is that she let this get to this point. If she had pushed like I did or asked more questions she may have found out about the "any e-mail" will do rule a long time ago. She might have been able to find a letter or a brochure or something they would count. But here we sit on the last day possible to get this done and I'm having to make a bigger deal out of this than it deserves in the long run. I HATE drama like this. I HATE making waves at the school.
We did not go to the community college with her because we had already done a visit. It's not here in town, it's somewhat nearby, but it takes scheduling time she doesn't have (marching band, three DC classes, one online class.) It seems so ridiculous to do it just to do it. She has no interest in attending the community college whatsoever.
the counselor in charge of this project did just call me back. They are going to pull her out of class so she can check her e-mail. I'm crossing my fingers that she has something that works for them. |
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perumbula
oooh, what you said!
PeaNut 27,933
January 2002
Posts: 10,110
Layouts: 97
Loc: bedlam
| Posted: 12/4/2012 11:32:51 AM
oh and yes, the whole "Parents are big fat liars and will cheat for their kids" assumption is one of the reasons I'm so angry about this mess. Thanks for not giving me any credit. Love it. |
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batya
Making the WWW better, one post at a time.
PeaNut 59,094
December 2002
Posts: 31,838
Layouts: 24
Loc: up on my high horse
| Posted: 12/4/2012 11:33:39 AM
OTOH, I'd be PO'd, too.
OTOH, your DD is plenty old enough to have handled this herself in plenty of time. She may just have to take the hit on the lunch detention since you yourself say she had enough notice to have had this taken care of.
ETA: Don't take the lying parent thing personally. You and I both know plenty would just sign off even if it wasn't true, so their kid didn't have to sit through a detention.
YOU don't have to make waves or have drama for a 17 y/o who didn't care enough to push. I'd sit back and let it go. I think that's part of the lesson. No? |
OK. Newbie. This is how it works. If your post consists of 80% sanity, 10% stupidity and 10% all kinds of crazy, we immediately focus on the 20% b/c it discredits the 80%.
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Georgiapea
Mom to the Wild Things.
PeaNut 96,783
July 2003
Posts: 26,429
Layouts: 0
Loc: Poss-a-Dillo Hill, Ozark, AL
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 11:45:02 AM
Wouldn't the photographs you undoubetedly took during the visit count as 'verification' that she was there? How about a receipt from the school book store or even a gas receipt from a station in that town. I feel your school is being unnecessarilly hard nosed about this. | |
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pretzels
AncestralPea
PeaNut 479,777
August 2010
Posts: 4,436
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 11:46:08 AM
Yep. I'm with Batya. Her failure to plan is not your emergency. | |
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peamac
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 340,335
October 2007
Posts: 5,560
Layouts: 1
Loc: Colorado
 | Posted: 12/4/2012 11:47:53 AM
Call the colleges and talk to them. Ask them to send a quick email. Hope it gets taken care of quickly! |
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sugarcoated
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 140,176
April 2004
Posts: 2,095
Layouts: 0
Loc: At Work
| Posted: 12/4/2012 11:52:12 AM
A dumb and unfair assignment - not everyone NEEDS to attend college.
Everyone does not need college, but everyone does need to consider their options.
*******************************************************************
How do you not have anything from the visits? Did you just go on your own or something? All of our scheduled college visits include reams of info that would totally verify a visit. And, who doesn't take a picture? LOL
Anyway, how do four colleges totally fail to respond to e-mails? Are you sure she actually sent them? And, there is always the telephone follow up. No matter what your DD is asking for, she is still a potential candidate and it would be odd for a college to risk losing a potential applicant by ignoring them.
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batya
Making the WWW better, one post at a time.
PeaNut 59,094
December 2002
Posts: 31,838
Layouts: 24
Loc: up on my high horse
| Posted: 12/4/2012 11:52:45 AM
Your DD is 17-18. Tell HER to call the schools. This is her assignment and her lateness. You sound so frustrated in your OP. I feel badly for you. Making all those beautiful dresses and now she's driving you up a wall. No way, woman! Pass the buck back to her where it belongs! |
OK. Newbie. This is how it works. If your post consists of 80% sanity, 10% stupidity and 10% all kinds of crazy, we immediately focus on the 20% b/c it discredits the 80%.
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mollyw
PeaFixture
PeaNut 51,457
October 2002
Posts: 3,300
Layouts: 7
| Posted: 12/4/2012 4:23:29 PM
We have visited 4 schools and some we had to create an account for with a name and password. If she already did that maybe she can pull up her record of interest.
I never took pictures on our trips either but we have receipts from lunches. We also saved the folders of the "maybe" schools. One school even gave us a t- shirt.
Also maybe she only cleaned out her inbox. Is the sent mail still available? | |
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doglover
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 11,975
March 2001
Posts: 2,530
Layouts: 21
Loc: new jersey and proud of it!
| Posted: 12/4/2012 5:33:15 PM
Just as an aside -- if this is a required trip by the school, does the school's insurance cover it if you get in an accident?
The whole thing seems rather intrusive.
Diane |
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perumbula
oooh, what you said!
PeaNut 27,933
January 2002
Posts: 10,110
Layouts: 97
Loc: bedlam
| Posted: 12/4/2012 5:41:35 PM
Thank you all for your advice.
The counselor pulled her out to check her e-mail. He decided that an e-mail from the bassoon instructor at one college saying "looking forward to seeing you Friday." was somehow good enough. Amazing how this wasn't good enough six weeks ago. 
Anyway, no parent will have to go through this again with the school. because I threw a fit, this year's juniors will have an exact list of what's considered valid proof of having visited a school before they leave for the summer. 
(BTW, Batya, if you only knew the frustrations I've been through with this girl this year. She's lucky she got the dang dress. That's all I'm sayin'.) |
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mdoc
Peaing under the Radar
PeaNut 61,691
January 2003
Posts: 11,823
Layouts: 0
Loc: In the Middle
| Posted: 12/4/2012 6:00:08 PM
I'd be angry and frustrated also. The one thing I'll say for my kids' school is that they do bow to parental pressure - there's no way they'd insist on something so silly if a parent was vouching for the college visit. I also think the requirement is ridiculous. Some kids are going to visit lots of schools, because they're college bound and want to see a lot of what's out there. They'll visit whether it's part of a school project or not. Other kids aren't planning to go to college, so why should they waste their time and money visiting one? | |
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Donna in GA
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 60,695
January 2003
Posts: 8,063
Layouts: 2
| Posted: 12/4/2012 6:53:00 PM
Believe me, I understand your frustration. The school I teach at has a senior project. The students have to research a career and they have to job shadow someone in this job. Unfortunately, some jobs can be difficult to find someone to shadow for legal or insurance reasons at the job. This project is run through the senior English class.
Sometimes the kids wait too long in getting someone to agree to let them job shadow. I just got asked today to allow a student to shadow me. He wants to go into Physics and did not hear back from any of the college professors he contacted. I am not too thrilled because I only teach one Physics class and I don't have anything particularly exciting planned right now since we are close to the end of the semester. Someone's poor planning has become my problem now.
Our seniors have to miss a day of school to job shadow. Many of the teachers at the school have asked that the project be explained before school lets out so that the students can job shadow over the summer, but we get poo-pooed every time we complain.
Can you tell I really hate this project? It is a good idea on paper, but not so great in execution. | |
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