Not a grandparent yet? any other pea with adult children that are unmarried, with

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Posted 12/10/2012 by Nancie52 in NSBR Board


PeaNut 452,927
January 2010
Posts: 3,047
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Loc: Mass

Posted: 12/10/2012 6:51:29 AM
no prospects in sight? .. longing for grandchildren?

I'm not really "consumed" it, in fact I still have one finishing up college but my oldest DS is 30, dd is 26 and youngest ds 22.. oldest two have boyfriends/girlfriends, but nothing serious, infact oldest claims he does NOT want to get married, which is fine.. but on the other hand, at this time of the year, little ones sure make it fun. and I am the only one of my friends who is NOT a grandparent yet.. (I am 60)

I've never would say anything to them either, because bringing up children is no easy task, as we all know. and they don't need any added pressure to being able to afford to live and I love seeing them enjoy their lives as singles as well. Oldest two actually share an apartment together to save on expenses right now... which is awesome to me..

I've thought about find a family with little ones that could use a nice holiday... I may pursue that avenue a little more closely. just wondering.....


PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
Posts: 15,755
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Loc: England UK

Posted: 12/10/2012 7:01:53 AM
Well, not yet My eldest is 21, youngest only 18, so no, I'm not thinking about grandchildren yet!! I didnt get married until I was nearly 29 and had my DDs at 30 and 32 so you've got lots of time yet

I hope you have lots of other things going on in your life to keep you busy and happy and I'm sure you'll be thrilled when and if they finally arrive to eat up your time and wreck your home

Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.

It only took 11 years

PeaNut 32,283
March 2002
Posts: 5,327
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Loc: Alberta

Posted: 12/10/2012 7:09:18 AM
DD turns 26 next week. She has a long term boyfriend, but she is in his first year of her phd and he's in his second year of med school. So with several years of school/training ahead of them, there won't be children for several years.

DS and his GF are 22. Too young,in my opinion (and in theirs).


The Banana Under the Couch Pea

PeaNut 295,941
February 2007
Posts: 8,089
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Loc: Somewhere over the rainbow...

Posted: 12/10/2012 7:14:36 AM
My parents are 65 and 66 and just barely became step grandparents to my SIL's 14 year old son. There have been no babies for me (33) or my brother (35), though we are both now married.

I have no desire for children and my parents are well aware of that. I do think my brother will have at lest one... though who knows when.

I do believe my parents are the only ones in their group of friends who have not had any grandbabies. They seem ok with it.


PeaNut 194,574
March 2005
Posts: 2,914
Layouts: 3
Loc: God's Country

Posted: 12/10/2012 7:15:06 AM
My oldest DS is 24, and has been with his gf for over 4 years. But they aren't ready to start a family yet, so hopefully they hold off until they are. I would love grands someday, but I want my kids to be financially ready first. My sister is a grandma. My great-nephew just turned 3 and he's a monster! Went to his b-day party over the weekend, and he was out of control. Grabbing things and throwing them...won't listen to anyone. He's as cute as can be, but his antics are a bit much! So whenever I yearn for grandkids, I just go over to my nephew's house and spend time with great-nephew and it passes rather quickly! LOL!


PeaNut 262,248
May 2006
Posts: 2,326
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Loc: Omaha, Nebraska

Posted: 12/10/2012 7:46:34 AM
My in-laws just became grandparents about a month ago. This is notable because my MIL's sisters (who are both only 5 years-ish older than her) are GREAT-grandparents and have been for 2/4 years. No joke. My in-laws started late and their kids started late. Heck my DH and I just got married in May and he's 34. We are still in the discussing phase ofhaving kids. His sister is the one who had the grand kids and she's 31.

Neither have said anything about wanting grand kids. But their reaction at being grandparents is so freaking funny! I'm sure they felt the same as you all these years. I'm absolutely positive.


Shih Tzu Mommy
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PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 24,004
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here

Posted: 12/10/2012 8:23:41 AM
I am hoping I have at least 8 more years before there are any grandchildren here. My son is 20 and if he even started being serious with anyone in the next two or three years I would not be happy. I am in NO RUSH for grandchildren. I almost (50 hope my children choose not to have children, period.

Dog people are a special breed!


PeaNut 266,627
June 2006
Posts: 3,432
Layouts: 1

Posted: 12/10/2012 8:54:31 AM
I'm 55 and my DS is 29 and has been married for just over a year...He has been sending me hints that maybe there will be changes in the family next year..I don't get too excited (in his presence....however I do the Snoopy Happy Dance when he's not looking!)

My SIL and I had this conversation at Thanksgiving...her DD is nearly 15 and Grandma bought us all tickets to see The Rockettes Christmas Show. We all enjoyed it, but it would have been SOOO much more fun with a 6 year old. We miss little kids especially at Christmas time.

Peaing From Podunk

PeaNut 45,443
August 2002
Posts: 16,554
Layouts: 93
Loc: North Dakota

Posted: 12/10/2012 9:36:32 AM
I am a grandma... to 5 boys! I will never have a granddaughter and love to buy girly things. I satisfy that by picking girl names from the angel tree every year. I get to go crazy buying Barbies, girly clothes and all things feminine and some little girls are very excited at Christmas. It's a win-win!

There are all sorts of ways you can add little ones to your life without becoming a grandma. Volunteer at a preschool, become a Sunday School teacher, volunteer in your church's nursery, get to know the kids in your neighborhood or offer to babysit for a young couple you know. Do any of your friends have grandchildren they'd be willing to share?


Mother Goose's Meandering Mind


PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
Posts: 15,755
Layouts: 0
Loc: England UK

Posted: 12/10/2012 9:48:07 AM

My son is 20 and if he even started being serious with anyone in the next two or three years I would not be happy.

Why? Why wouldn't you want a grown up child to be happy? I get that it's still young and I understand not wanting them to marry too young etc but being serious doesn't necessarily mean marriage immediately.

Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.


PeaNut 302,707
March 2007
Posts: 4,922
Layouts: 22
Loc: california

Posted: 12/10/2012 11:07:43 AM
Our DD is 25, no serious boyfriend, no prospects in site at this point. She is happy with her life, very busy teaching and coaching, active in our church but the vast majority of her friends are married and have started their families. I'm waiting for the right young man to recognize that she can be more than a best friend. Her male friends treat her like buddy until they find ( often with her help) the right woman for them.
I's like to be a grandparent before we are too old to do things like take a grand child to Disneyland. I don't ever say anything to her. It will happen or not in God's time. So while I may think I'm ready to be a grandparent that time has not yet been determined. I was late getting started as were my parents. I was hoping for a happy medium, her getting started a bit younger than we did but all things happen in their time

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PeaNut 539,539
January 2012
Posts: 3,850
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/10/2012 11:11:40 AM
Well, I am married but my husband and I are in no rush for children of our own yet. I'm only 24, he's 27 so we have plenty of time. My brother is 30 and has never really had a serious girlfriend and he has no prospects in sight.

My parents never let on to the fact that they may want grandchildren. I'm sure they'd enjoy it but they don't put pressure on me since it seems like I'm their only hope. My husband has one nephew that is about 22 months so his mother is consumed with him. She rarely makes comments either.

We'll see where we're at around this time next year. We will have been married for a little over 2 years and we will have most of our house remodeled by then. We bought a fixer-upper and there is definitely enough room for kids and we want kids, it just isn't practical right now.


PeaNut 429,864
July 2009
Posts: 1,883
Layouts: 0

Posted: 12/10/2012 11:24:29 AM
I'm good with not being a grandparent for I hope at least several more years (I have kids 13-22.)

With 4 kids I hope to some day have a bunch of grandchildren! Someone we know had 4 children and only 1 had children. They have 2 grown grandchildren now and that will be all they have. An Uncle of ours just became a grandfather for the first time at almost 70!

Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!

PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 24,004
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here

Posted: 12/10/2012 11:59:07 AM

My son is 20 and if he even started being serious with anyone in the next two or three years I would not be happy.

Why? Why wouldn't you want a grown up child to be happy? I get that it's still young and I understand not wanting them to marry too young etc but being serious doesn't necessarily mean marriage immediately.

I don't want him to not be happy. He is happy with his current girlfriend, but they both know it won't last after college. They have different long term goals, but they are having 'college fun' now. I adore her, she is a really great girl. She never wants to live more than half an hour from her parents and he wants to live in Europe and Asia and Australia. Things like that which are just not compatible for a lifetime. She likes to travel, they did go to Spain together this summer, but she wants to live near her parents. Who live near their parents and so on.

And when I said get serious, I did mean marriage. My son once told me that when he met the girl he wanted to marry he would know it and not wait for long. So that is where I am coming from.

He's super happy and because there is no pressure on either of them for anything long term, they just enjoy their time together. But for example at Thanksgiving and Christmas, there was not even a thought of either of them visiting the other with their family. I did ask if he was going to have her come here (they are both in their 3rd year at NCSU and her family lives 30 minutes from school and we live 3 hours, so they could go back and forth at some point during the break) or if he'd be going there and his response was "We're dating Mommy. Not getting married!"

Dog people are a special breed!

Cold Pea on a Cracked Plate

PeaNut 156,343
July 2004
Posts: 5,250
Layouts: 46

Posted: 12/10/2012 1:25:13 PM
I got married at 24. It took us 10 years to have kids though. And I'm an only (no pressure)! Plus we live 6 hours away, so even with 1 and 1 on the way now, they don't get a lot of grandparent time. My parents lavished attention on great nieces and nephews. They volunteer a lot, through church and civic organizations, and love to help out with the kid activities. And they spoil their friends' kids, like at baby showers or grandkid birthday parties, etc.

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Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 211,290
June 2005
Posts: 7,137
Layouts: 0
Loc: somewhere dreaming

Posted: 12/10/2012 2:16:36 PM
Well, I have a 30 Dd who has no prospects in sight and is longing for a relationship.
It kills me when everyone says....she is so cute! Darn right she is!

but I do have to admit my 24 yr. old has a baby due in Feb and we are looking forward to that but I just feel bad for my daughter. never works out the way you expect it too.


PeaNut 551,978
April 2012
Posts: 2,099
Layouts: 79
Loc: Canada

Posted: 12/10/2012 4:34:53 PM
I'm a single 34 year old woman, only child, no prospects, no kids... If any of you with single sons think I could be of any help... I'm a decent cook - oh, and did I mention I love scrapbooking?

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PeaNut 122,882
January 2004
Posts: 1,221
Layouts: 0
Loc: Frogville

Posted: 12/11/2012 1:27:50 AM
I know my mom really wants to be a grandma. But there just aren't any prospects for me at the moment. I wouldn't have a baby with some random guy like some in my family have done.

ditto PennyPaws, except I'm 30 and live in New England, but would be glad to help out, I wouldn't be a DIL like any of the horror stories I've read on the board, lol ...

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