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Posted 12/10/2012 by huskergal in NSBR Board
 

huskergal
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Posted: 12/10/2012 11:39:13 AM
If you have been attending a family Christmas gathering for the past 15 years or so, would you recognize the routine of that family gathering and would you remember what you brought and whether or not it went over well. Would you notice that most of the alcohol drinkers choose wine or beer? Would you remember that when you brought a gallon of homemade Bailey's Irish Cream that you brought most of it home with you? Or would you be oblivious and ask if you should bring it again?


Susan



ilovebuble
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Posted: 12/10/2012 11:43:16 AM
IF I were going to a family event I wouldn't dream of taking home the item I brought over, but that's just me. Especially on open container of alcohol .

If it didn't seem like people were liking what I brought I'd try something new the next time. I'd either ask for suggestions from the host or I'd bring something tried and true that was guaranteed not to fail.

huskergal
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Posted: 12/10/2012 11:47:53 AM
The first time she brought it was to my parent's house. They made her take it home because they were not going to drink it.



Susan



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Posted: 12/10/2012 12:14:28 PM
Depends.

We attend an event with the same group of people (about 20 of us) every year the week before Christmas and we call it Family That We Chose. I bring my item and put it on the buffet and that is it. I have no idea if people ate it or not or if it was tossed or what. But the person hosting would know.

When it is my turn to host, I do notice when something is a less popular item and rather than tell someone "Hey Chelsea, don't bring that horrible liver and lima bean casserole, it was a stinker last year" I would say something like "Hey Chelsea, can you bring a caramel turtle cheesecake this year?"

I would bite my tongue off before telling someone they had brought a vomitous dish. And I have never seen anyone take back food they brought. It goes to the hostess (or in the trash)

OHHHHHHH, just saw this:

The first time she brought it was to my parent's house. They made her take it home because they were not going to drink it.

And then either she is a ding dong or just thinks she makes the best homemade BIC ever. A gallon of it? Oh my!



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huskergal
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Posted: 12/10/2012 12:59:54 PM
I am trying to determine if she is a ding dong or she does this on purpose. She is not a good cook, and we try and spare her feelings when it comes to people not eating her stuff. She brought a disastorous cake for Thanksgiving. Most of it got tossed. She offered to bring it for Christmas. I told there would be lots of sweets because people bring cookies every year. Then she mentioned the homemade Bailey's. I can't believe she doesn't remember that because she talked about how expensive it was to make. I tild her most people drink wine ir beer. I am waiting to see what she comes up with next.


Susan



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Posted: 12/10/2012 1:39:31 PM
Give the girl the clue!

Marsha, please go to Wonderful Deli and pick up a pound of their To Die For Potato Salad for your contribution. Other than yourself, (and gifts?), that's all you need to bring.










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AKathy
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Posted: 12/10/2012 1:43:24 PM
She sounds like a ding dong. You might want to ask her if she can bring Chex mix. Surely even someone with limited skills can make that. It sounds like she can only make a few simple things and maybe just needs some guidance.


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Shevy
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Posted: 12/10/2012 1:45:37 PM
Maybe she's really trying and doesn't realize it's not good/ok?

In this case I'd cut her some slack and either ask her to bring something specific or tell her not to bring anything this year because it's her year off!



scraps_of_time
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Posted: 12/10/2012 1:52:44 PM
No, I wouldn't say anything. Every contribution is appreciated. If it's not consumed it goes home with who brought it.

Every year my mom makes oyster dressing. There are maybe 3 or 4 out of the 30 or more people that attend that eat it. My grandmother used to make it and my father loved it. It's been on every Christmas table for as long as i can remember. Dad's been gone 10 years now. I think it is her connection to my father at the holidays, although she has never said as much. I would never dream of asking her not to bring it.




Rhonda

writermom1
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:04:30 PM

She brought a disastorous cake for Thanksgiving. Most of it got tossed. She offered to bring it for Christmas. I told there would be lots of sweets because people bring cookies every year. Then she mentioned the homemade Bailey's. I can't believe she doesn't remember that because she talked about how expensive it was to make. I tild her most people drink wine ir beer. I am waiting to see what she comes up with next.


Define "Disastrous" cake?

With no snark intended I can't determine if you are a family of foodies so a perfectly sweet box cake with canned frosting is a "disaster" or if it had, like, cat hair in it and was burnt to a crisp. I need more details.

I'm with the "give her a clue" camp. It sounds like nothing she has brought/offered has passed muster. At some point you may need to determine that she is not up to the task of pleasing this assemblage. Assign her napkins or canned nuts or something?




rainydaypea
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:13:23 PM
I definitely notice which of my dishes were a hit and which weren't. I also take note on which dishes get the most favorable comments. The ones that don't get much comments don't get repeated(especially if they were costly to make.)

I am also wondering why the cake was disastrous.


She is not a good cook, and we try and spare her feelings when it comes to people not eating her stuff.

How about saying "Looks like we have most everything covered, but could you bring napkins and beer?" or "we need you to pick up some juice and soda for the kids."


WindowBox
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:54:23 PM

She offered to bring it {cake}for Christmas. I told there would be lots of sweets because people bring cookies every year. Then she mentioned the homemade Bailey's. I can't believe she doesn't remember that because she talked about how expensive it was to make. I tild her most people drink wine ir beer. I am waiting to see what she comes up with next.


Wow, it sounds like she is trying. Hey, she offered two items. What the heck do you expect?!

Give the girl a suggestion. You/the family are coming off really ungrateful, ungracious, or unlikeable....maybe none of the aforementioned or maybe all three.

Creativegirl
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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:00:20 PM
I agree- why haven't you just told her what to bring? Seems a whole lot easier than having her make a bunch of suggestions that you have to creatively turn down.


Anna




huskergal
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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:42:36 PM
It doesn't matter what I tell her to bring, because she brings what she wants anyway. I don't want to assign her to bring something we really want/ need because she usually does not come through. I have asked her to bring chips for instance and she doesn't.

The disastorous cake was a 12 layer cake she pinned from Pinterest. She tried to make it the morning of Thanksgiving. The layers werevso thin they fell apart. The icing was supposed to be a cooked, really thin icing to glaze on the cake. She didn't have the ingredients so she used canned frosting instead. She had one of our nephews assemble it. Because the layers were so thin and the frosting was not thin enough, the cake was in shambles. Only a couple pieces got eaten.

I don't care what she brings, but she gets mad/offended if people don't eat it. I told her not to bring the cake or Bailey's because no one eats it. If I assign her something chances are she won't bring it. Which brings me back to the question, is she doing this on purpose. I would certainly notice if I brought something and very few people ate it. I would not make it again.


Susan



writermom1
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Posted: 12/10/2012 4:03:26 PM
Well I don't know her but is she doing this on purpose just to screw with ya? I doubt it.

Is she overestimating her own abilities and attention to detail because some part of her identity is wrapped up in being a creative cook? Probably.

Honestly, if she brings what she wants rather than what is needed and gets upset if it isn't polished off, at some point you just have to let that happen. You tried.



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