Would you let your 14 year old drink a glass of wine at a neighborhood party?

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Posted 12/10/2012 by h&hmommy in NSBR Board
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PeaNut 337,614
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:22:35 PM
My family and I attended a neighborhood gathering this past weekend and were able to socialize with a lot of people we didn't know very well. One of the neighbor's 14 year old daughter showed up and complained about a stressful day she had an academic "quiz bowl" type competition. Her mom replied that it sounded like she could use a glass of wine. I thought she was joking until I later saw the girl drinking a glass of red wine.

Now, this is not something I would let my daughter do, but I am not sure how I feel about it. I didn't see her have more than one glass of wine and she sounds like a pretty mature girl, but I just don't see the point of letting her drink alcohol, especially as a way to relieve stress. I certainly wouldn't let them do it in a house that wasn't my own.

What do you think? Would you condone this?


PeaNut 69,597
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:25:18 PM
At 18, 19 or 20, probably. At 14 no way.


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PeaNut 257,022
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:26:12 PM
No way!

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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:26:22 PM

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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:26:54 PM



PeaNut 434,842
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:27:42 PM
Definitely not...not the kind of lesson about healthy stress management that I want to be teaching

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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:30:20 PM


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PeaNut 53,328
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:32:48 PM
Absolutely not.

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PeaNut 156,993
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:34:39 PM
No. And I'm fairly loose about these kinds of things (meaning my kids have had sips of alcohol in our home.)

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PeaNut 172,765
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:34:44 PM
No frickin' way!


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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:35:45 PM
Not a chance.


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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:36:01 PM
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PeaNut 78,429
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:37:14 PM
No. Not ever.

Anything close like that is that the kids have had a sip of beer.. (not my four year old) the teens. But that is it. And neither of them liked it.

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PeaNut 171,221
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:37:47 PM
Not only that, but I most assuredly would not being teaching her that alcohol is a feel good problem solver.


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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:38:14 PM
No. While it is legal here to serve your minor child a drink in your own home, it's not legal to serve them one on someone else's property. Legality aside, 14 is below the age that DH and I have agreed to.

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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:42:54 PM
I have no problem with teens trying a little alcohol in safe home environments but I don't like the idea of teaching a 14 year old that a glass of wine is a good way to relieve stress!

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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:44:36 PM

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PeaNut 11,430
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:46:55 PM
No--just too young!



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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:47:28 PM
Not a chance.


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PeaNut 11,942
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:48:33 PM
That is really young. I wouldn't have done it. Older teens having wine or champagne at a celebration I'd be all right with but a 14 year old having a glass of wine because of stress? Nope.


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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:48:34 PM
Hell no. I'm a pretty liberal parent, and allow things a lot of my friends would not, but alcohol at 14? Nope...it would never happen.


PeaNut 8,421
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:49:03 PM
Nope, and my opinion of the parent would go way down. 14yo is way to young to be drinking alcohol. Not to mention that is not teaching good coping skills for handling stress.

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PeaNut 20,301
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:52:01 PM
Never! I did not teach my kids that alcohol was a way to relieve stress, not to mention it is illegal under the age of 21.

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PeaNut 69,453
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:58:50 PM
18 or 20? Maybe, if I knew she wouldn't be driving. 14? No way.


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PeaNut 311,281
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Posted: 12/10/2012 2:59:44 PM
A simple no.
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PeaNut 463,295
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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:01:16 PM
No. Not because of the age, but because it was used a stress reliever. And it sounds like it wasn't the first time her Mom has done that. That's not a healthy habit to teach your children. A glass of wine at a family party - sure once in a while. A glass of wine because you had a bad day - wait until you're 21. That a "luxury" reserved for adults.



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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:02:28 PM

Definitely not...not the kind of lesson about healthy stress management that I want to be teaching

This. Plus, technically that's contributing to a minor. I wouldn't risk it.


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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:11:06 PM
No way!

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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:12:20 PM

I would let my 14 year old have a small glass of wine at a special family dinner - meaning plenty of food and seated at a table where they were under constant observation among adults.

Doing something flagrantly against the law in public? Dude. I don't go looking for serious trouble!

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PeaNut 542,344
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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:15:58 PM
My mom let my DB and I have a VERY small glass of wine or champagne only at home holiday parties/Thanksgiving, when we were under-age. As I'm sure she planned, we both deemed it "yuck" at the time. But a glass o'wine for a 14-year-old because school was tough that day, not a chance.

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PeaNut 31,157
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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:18:21 PM

One of the neighbor's 14 year old daughter showed up and complained about a stressful day she had an academic "quiz bowl" type competition. Her mom replied that it sounded like she could use a glass of wine.
Talk about failing to teach your child necessary life skills such as coping with stress!

I am ok with kids having wine (watered down for you younger children) at family dinners and a champagne toast at weddings and new years... but some random day self medicating with wine? No way.

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PeaNut 314,157
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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:20:34 PM
Absolutely not. And my main reason is that 1 glass of wine is enough for me (165 lbs) to feel a slight buzz. Definitely too much alcohol for her - even IF it were appropriate for her to be drinking at all.


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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:29:34 PM

I have no problem with teens trying a little alcohol in safe home environments but I don't like the idea of teaching a 14 year old that a glass of wine is a good way to relieve stress!

This. I was about 14 when my parents started allowing me beer or wine at weddings and other celebrations and I don't really have a problem with that. It's tying it to stress reduction that bothers me.

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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:31:43 PM

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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:32:33 PM

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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:35:05 PM


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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:38:16 PM
No way!

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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:42:37 PM
Sip yes.
Glass? No.

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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:48:02 PM
Yes. Yes I would. In 18th century Italy!

Holy moly! Talk about a way to turn your child into an alcoholic!

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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:55:03 PM

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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:59:14 PM
He** no!

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Posted: 12/10/2012 3:59:51 PM
No. Not at 14.

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Posted: 12/10/2012 4:01:17 PM

I have no problem with teens trying a little alcohol in safe home environments but I don't like the idea of teaching a 14 year old that a glass of wine is a good way to relieve stress!

My thoughts exactly!


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Posted: 12/10/2012 4:06:12 PM


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Posted: 12/10/2012 4:06:20 PM

I have no problem with teens trying a little alcohol in safe home environments but I don't like the idea of teaching a 14 year old that a glass of wine is a good way to relieve stress!



PeaNut 551,174
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Posted: 12/10/2012 4:20:35 PM
My dd is 17 and when she's stressed we talk it out and make sure she's taking some time off for herself. I would never teach her to medicate her problems with alcohol.

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Posted: 12/10/2012 4:26:53 PM

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PeaNut 160,179
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Posted: 12/10/2012 4:28:44 PM

No. I didn't let me kids drink at a family or neighborhood party until they were 21. My 17 yo did without my knowledge and got an earful.

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PeaNut 51,676
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Posted: 12/10/2012 4:34:17 PM
No way. I didn't let my kids drink until they were 21.

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PeaNut 104,551
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Posted: 12/10/2012 4:34:56 PM
Nope. Not even at 20 3/4 either.
We joke about it, but that's as far as it goes. I'm sure my kid drank before he was 21 (I did) but I am sure as hell not going to be party to it.


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