Santa did not stop for the next door neighbor boys because....
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 12/25/2012 by caroscraps in NSBR Board
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caroscraps
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:44:59 PM
They were bad. Seriously, who does that to their kids? They got one present from mom and dad but that's it. All because they were not listening well. They are elementary age

I guess this is a Christmas they will never forget.


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angievp
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:46:22 PM
Some people shouldn't be parents. Honestly. What a dick move.

1lear
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:46:31 PM
That's horrible-and probably something they'll never forget.





scrapmaven
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:47:04 PM
Santa needs to come back and gift the parents w/parenting classes. How sad for those children.


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Movin On Pea

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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:47:48 PM
Oh how sad.

And really, how ineffective.


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lucyg819
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:51:08 PM
Poor little boys!

My son had a friend in high school whose parents were like that. They got worse with age. In the end, the older two boys helped put the youngest one through college because the parents basically walked away from them.


LUCYG
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Sarah*H
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:51:15 PM
I guess it's not much of a mystery why the kids are so poorly behaved.



needmysanity
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:51:16 PM
Those parents need to be kicked in the ass....I just think that's wrong.



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asr70
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:56:07 PM
This made me cry a little. I know I'm all hormonal but still. Wtf does that to a child?




luvmythree
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:57:11 PM
That's totally messed up those poor kids.


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myboysnme
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:57:29 PM
Seems like it was just last year there were several peas on a thread advocating taking Christmas because of behavior.

I thought it sucked then and it sucks now.


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~NovaPeA~
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Posted: 12/25/2012 5:57:47 PM
That's fuck*d up! Seriously!


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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:00:55 PM

What a crappy thing for parents to do.








megmc
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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:02:40 PM
Were the kids warned to behave?
Then they have learn a heart breaking lesson. I bet they will behave better next year.


put it this way.

Kids are behaving, they are told Santa won't come if they are bad. they continue to misbehave. Santa comes anyway. They didn't learn any lesson at all.

etc aren't to are.

NanaKate
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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:15:26 PM
There are @$$holes every where...so sorry for those kids.


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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:17:05 PM

Were the kids warned to behave?
Then they have learn a heart breaking lesson. I bet they will behave better next year.


put it this way.

Kids aren't behaving, they are told Santa won't come if they are bad. they continue to misbehave. Santa comes anyway. They didn't learn any lesson at all.

Yeah but seriously? Taking away Christmas? I was a hard ass Mom and believed in following through but this is a prime example of why you should never threaten anything you don't plan on carrying through. Taking away Santa is a pretty harsh punishment for grade school age kids. Geez, poor kids.


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Aggiemom92
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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:18:49 PM

I guess it's not much of a mystery why the kids are so poorly behaved.


No kidding.


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caroscraps
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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:21:00 PM
I don't know the kids , they live next door to my DS and family. DS says the boys are well behaved and respectful to him and his girls. They were shocked too about the parents. This is a new neighborhood where most houses are under a year old. Should be interesting for DS and DIL having them as neighbors. They seem like nice people but misguided parenting IMO.

I would not be able to do this to my kids. I would use other means to discipline.


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*theCakeGirl*
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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:23:12 PM
That's your side of the story. As a parent who fussed at her kids about telling the truth, listening and just general good behavior and completely ignored. They were warned for quite a while to behave and as Christmas got closer and closer the behavior still didn't change...Both mom and dad warned Santa would not stop by. Guess what? Santa DID NOT stop. They each got two presents from Mom & Dad. At first they were in shock, then we reminded them of their terrible awful no good horrible bad behavior. Lightbulbs went off. Overall behavior and attitudes changed immediately. They were 6 & 7 at the time. It killed me! BUT I stuck to what I said.

The years following Santa has stopped and showered them generously. They are now 13 & 14 They are bright caring wonderful girls who do well in school and sports. I couldn't ask for better kids. It didn't ruin Christmas forever, it didn't scar them, but at the time I was not about to reward two girls on the naughty list.

Me personally I applaud that mom for sticking to her guns and hugs to her because I know how much it had to have killed her inside to not shower them with presents from Santa.


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tracylynngibson
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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:26:27 PM
Can you say scarred for life?!?
What the grinch were they thinking?
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luvmythree
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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:28:43 PM
There are other ways to teach the kids about their behavior.


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2peafaithful
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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:30:34 PM

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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:50:15 PM
As the patent of an 8 year old who was sent home from school twice this week, I can understand. Most people will tell you ds is very polite. You never know...

That said, mine got plenty of gifts today. This is because I need to have good new toys to take away from him when school starts again. Seriously.

It's a looooong work in progress. Terrible at school, angel at home. Last year it was the other way around.
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eversograceful1
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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:56:02 PM
I couldn't do it myself.



purpledaisy
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Posted: 12/25/2012 6:56:30 PM
Wow! That is sad!


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Posted: 12/25/2012 7:27:18 PM
I don't think I could ever do that, but we don't know the whole story. I wouldn't be so quick to pick apart their parenting skills.

WingNut
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Posted: 12/25/2012 7:43:14 PM
We have never tied behavior to Christmas. That's not what we want Christmas to be about.


Joy


3kidmama
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Posted: 12/25/2012 7:48:38 PM
I've never been a fan of bribing kids to behave properly. That is my job as a parent - to teach, train, discipline and guide them.

When dh and I started dating in our very first heart-to-heart talk about our childhoods, he told me that one year (early elementary age) his grandmother gave him a BRICK for Christmas. It was wrapped up under the tree and he opened it with great anticipation only to feel bewilderment, shock, disappointment and then shame.

Here was a man in his mid-20s in graduate school with the biggest heart in the world yet he's still "smarting" over his grandmother's decision! He still has no idea what he did that year to anger his grandmother - nor does he remember a different gift from her. He just assumes in her mind, she must have thought he was a bad boy?

The sad thing is that the event led to DH NOT ever close to his grandmother. My easy-going DH actually gets along with everybody so obviously his grandmother's actions wounded him pretty deeply and left them with a relationship where he never felt that she was someone he could count on for love. He was always polite and respectful to her, but maintained her at an arms distance.

Don't be so sure that those kinds of events are no big deal! They become life-long memories attached to HUGE tradition-heavy events on our culture (Christmas) so therefore they will be recalled again and again, yr after yr. I guarantee you KIDS WILL REMEMBER - and it likely won't be what you think!

I-95
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Posted: 12/25/2012 7:48:54 PM
Whoa. I'm a pretty hard ass mom when it comes to following through with threats...and I do use Christmas as a threat....but I claim I'm going to take away ONE present for not modifying behaviors...I can't imagine how bad a kid would have to be to cancel the whole thing.

CraftChickaPowPow
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Posted: 12/25/2012 7:53:40 PM
People are pathetic. No wonder I prefer dogs!


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Really Red
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Posted: 12/25/2012 8:36:51 PM

I guess it's not much of a mystery why the kids are so poorly behaved.


Oh yes.

There are THOUSANDS of other ways to raise a good, kind child. No one way works for all kids.

When I see stuff like this, it makes me sick. I do think it's a form of child abuse. I take away my son's electronics, etc., and say no to my girls about seeing their friends, but take away Christmas? That's your best solution?



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doesitmatter?
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Posted: 12/25/2012 8:38:07 PM



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megmc
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Posted: 12/25/2012 8:41:50 PM
They didn't take away Christmas, they just took away Santa.


UkSue
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Posted: 12/25/2012 8:48:03 PM
A few years ago, my best friend took toys from Santa away from her two girls AFTER they opened them , due to bad behaviour. It broke my heart, because they were adopted from a dreadful home and struggle more than most kids due to this. These are my precious God-daughters, and I wasn't allowed to give them my presents, either. I wouldn't say that they are scarred from this, however I just find it really sad.

I can't help but feel that you have already lost the battle some time much earlier, if you have to use a removal of Christmas presents to get a point across.


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Dani-Mani
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Posted: 12/25/2012 8:48:22 PM
I must be the hardest of hard asses.

The kids got gifts. What's the big deal?

I say go mom and dad.




ChildOfThe60s
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Posted: 12/25/2012 8:51:57 PM
If they gave them each one gift then yes; they pretty much DID take away their Christmas. Obviously they didn't take the date off the calendar.


Kids aren't behaving, they are told Santa won't come if they are bad. they continue to misbehave. Santa comes anyway. They didn't learn any lesson at all.


SHAME ON PARENTS who say that SANTA WON'T COME AT ALL if children that age misbehave. They're CHILDREN; they aren't perfect little robots. They're going to misbehave.

Parents should let children know that Santa is watching, but to say that he won't come at all is setting children up for failure.

JMHO


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{Melissa}




myboysnme
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Posted: 12/25/2012 8:56:23 PM
Hard asses at Christmas - so proud of themselves for asserting their parental authority.

what happened to giving for the sake of giving; good will toward all and all that?

Way to teach a lesson about God's love. He still gave his son no matter how everyone was acting.

I'm glad I never had a parent like that and wasn't a parent like that. I get as much joy from giving as anyone does who receives.

If you want to tie gift giving to behavior, why celebrate Christmas at all? Just do a star chart and reward behavior that way.


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I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
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readsomething
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Posted: 12/25/2012 10:30:42 PM
I'll be entirely honest: I have tears in my eyes just thinking about this!

Christmas is about giving and joy, not punishment and retribution. There are about 50 billion other ways that, as a parent, you should be able to discipline your kids. Take away electronics, time with friends, assign additional chores.

Next year, if those kids "earn the privilege" of having Christmas, they'll remember this year in contrast, all right. Forever.

I could *possibly* see it if the kids were teenagers who broke all the rules and set fires. But age 6 and 7??? Disgusting and hurtful.


Heather
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Dani-Mani
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Posted: 12/25/2012 10:33:10 PM
Where did she list their ages?

And six year olds can and do engage in destructive behavior. For all we know they could've tried to set the cat on fire, or cut off a little sisters ponytail.




pennyring
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Posted: 12/25/2012 10:39:22 PM
Kids mess up a lot. They need constant reminders. You can't ask a little kid to be good ALL THE TIME or else no Christmas. It's an impossible task to complete. They're being set up for failure! It's a sick, twisted thing to do to a child.

As the parent, you are supposed to correct, and correct again. You don't set your kids up to fail and take away Christmas. That's just evil.

Horrible parents.




readsomething
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Posted: 12/25/2012 10:52:57 PM

And six year olds can and do engage in destructive behavior. For all we know they could've tried to set the cat on fire, or cut off a little sisters ponytail.


The ages were in a post further down, by another Pea who had done it w her own kids.

And a 6yo who tries to set fire to anything needs something Santa doesn't pack in his sack, like counseling. I don't get where the lesson of "we don't hurt living creatures" is, when Santa doesn't bring toys.

I've never said to my DD that Santa wouldn't come if she doesn't behave. I remind her: Santa is watching. If I've done my job right and she doesn't have some behavioral or personality disorder, she has a conscience. She knows what good behavior is. That prodding should be enough.

I don't expect perfect behavior. Kids are kids. Anything I really can't handle, I'd call a therapist, not pin my hopes on Santa's magic, to help me deal w my kid.


Heather
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alittleintrepid
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Posted: 12/25/2012 10:56:10 PM
No listening could mean a lot of different things. It could be that they need lots of reminders to do their homework, brush their teeth, make their beds etc. Or it could mean that they have been involved in serious, even criminal behaviours, for which they need a stern, clear message to stop. I this was the case, I can't imagine that they would share it liberally with new neighbours. I think we need more of the story.


Charabby
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Posted: 12/25/2012 10:59:10 PM
I personally never used Santa as a discipline tool because I knew I'd never follow through. There are very few justifications I can think of for using what is a joyous, family oriented day as a discipline tool makes sense to me, or seems like it would be effective. Honestly, it mostly seems like a big F you to kids, in their language.

So without any back story, my impression is that the parents are asses.


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enjoytotheend
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Posted: 12/26/2012 3:19:13 AM
I say let Santa and Christmas come. If there are still issues ground them from their new toys for awhile until they can learn to act appropriately and then give them back to them. I could never do no Christmas with children.

TalissaAmity
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Posted: 12/26/2012 4:28:13 AM
Wow!!

I just can't imagine sitting there and waiting for that disappointment and sadness to sweep across my children's faces. How did those parents sleep that night knowing what their children were going to wake up to?

cm_stephenson
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Posted: 12/26/2012 4:41:49 AM

gift
noun
1. something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
2. the act of giving.
3. something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without its being earned:
4.a special ability or capacity; natural endowment; talent: the gift of saying the right thing at the right time.
verb
5. to present with as a gift; bestow gifts upon; endow with.
6. to present (someone) with a gift:


A gift is unconditional (no. 3 on the list) and as we give it it no longer belongs to us.

We as adults should have the gift (ie capacity) to recognise giving for what it is and not make it conditional. There was a thread here last week about continuing to help someone as committed even though the other person was behaving badly - most respondents referred to the donor as a doormat ... whereas she was actually refusing to place conditions on her gift

Sadly I hear many people threaten their kids in the run up to Christmas that Santa won't bring anything ... and having made the threat most then pretend they didn't and Santa visits anyway. As soon as anyone utters that threat for the first time they have placed a condition ... it is no longer gifts that are to be delivered but burdens.

We do not know all the ins and outs of this particular family situation but unless we can hold our hands up and say we have never delivered burdens to our kids on Christmas morning (and yes I did it when my daughter was young without thinking) we should not be judging.

Cathy


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katybee8
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Posted: 12/26/2012 4:42:50 AM
Wow. I could never do that.

I see nothing wrong with giving the gifts and limiting the use of them if the poor behavior continued, such as giving an X-Box and if the non-listening continues, the X-Box goes away for a while. I would think that would be a parenting SOP. It was in my house when I was young, but I was well behaved.

Since these are elementary kids, I hope mom and dad have checked out the physical or psychological possibilities for why these kids are "not listening well" before they became grinches.


lisabb
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Posted: 12/26/2012 8:30:46 AM


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benem
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Posted: 12/26/2012 8:32:06 AM
The point of Santa is that he does not bring gifts to naughty children.

And the kids still got gifts from their parents who love them.

And Christmas is not only about how much crap is under the tree.... Or is it????


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kaylaaimee
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Posted: 12/26/2012 8:44:44 AM
this is why I don't think people should tell their kids Santa's gift giving is behaviour based. then the parents are screwed if the kids misbehave bc they either a) don't follow through and the kids learn Santa comes regardless of their behaviour or they do follow through and "ruin Christmas." damned if you do, damned if you don't


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