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caroscraps
7 Sweetpeas for me
PeaNut 20,301
August 2001
Posts: 11,685
Layouts: 0
Loc: The PEAch State
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They were bad. Seriously, who does that to their kids? They got one present from mom and dad but that's it. All because they were not listening well. They are elementary age
I guess this is a Christmas they will never forget. |
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angievp
Ideay pues?
PeaNut 143,106
April 2004
Posts: 6,643
Layouts: 36
Loc: Miami
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 5:46:22 PM
Some people shouldn't be parents. Honestly. What a dick move. | |
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1lear
PeaAddict
PeaNut 188,827
February 2005
Posts: 1,253
Layouts: 0
Loc: NOVA
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 5:46:31 PM
That's horrible-and probably something they'll never forget.
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scrapmaven
PEA-T-A-Mom's kitteh is a fraidy cat.
PeaNut 90,665
June 2003
Posts: 15,738
Layouts: 0
Loc: Wherever my little mind takes me
| Posted: 12/25/2012 5:47:04 PM
Santa needs to come back and gift the parents w/parenting classes. How sad for those children.  |
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I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? | |
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Me GOP
Movin On Pea
PeaNut 29,902
February 2002
Posts: 19,290
Layouts: 16
| Posted: 12/25/2012 5:47:48 PM
Oh how sad.
And really, how ineffective. |
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lucyg819
pearl-clutching nitpicker
PeaNut 201,774
April 2005
Posts: 14,375
Layouts: 15
Loc: gone to chemo with BethAnne
| Posted: 12/25/2012 5:51:08 PM
Poor little boys!
My son had a friend in high school whose parents were like that. They got worse with age. In the end, the older two boys helped put the youngest one through college because the parents basically walked away from them. |
LUCYG
northern california
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."
--Bertrand Russell
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Sarah*H
Bring me that horizon!
PeaNut 239,162
December 2005
Posts: 27,897
Layouts: 413
Loc: The final frontier
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 5:51:15 PM
I guess it's not much of a mystery why the kids are so poorly behaved.  |
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needmysanity
PeaFixture
PeaNut 380,372
June 2008
Posts: 3,957
Layouts: 3
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 5:51:16 PM
Those parents need to be kicked in the ass....I just think that's wrong.
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asr70
PeaAddict
PeaNut 508,279
May 2011
Posts: 1,047
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 5:56:07 PM
This made me cry a little. I know I'm all hormonal but still. Wtf does that to a child? |
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luvmythree
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 223,222
September 2005
Posts: 2,704
Layouts: 47
Loc: Kansas
| Posted: 12/25/2012 5:57:11 PM
That's totally messed up those poor kids.  |
Kirsten mom to~
Alexandria 20
Ethan 10
Owen 8 CFC syndrome,cp 29.5 wk preemie
Expecting my first grandbaby May 2013!
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myboysnme
one of those "entitled" peas
PeaNut 69,081
February 2003
Posts: 6,737
Layouts: 1
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 5:57:29 PM
Seems like it was just last year there were several peas on a thread advocating taking Christmas because of behavior.
I thought it sucked then and it sucks now. |
My choice is to not take it personally - people have opinions. Particularly people here.-Peabay 12/29/11
I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
profile pic courtesy of GreenEyedLady Designs at Scrap ARt Studio.
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~NovaPeA~
*Sassy Latin Pea*
PeaNut 52,360
October 2002
Posts: 19,995
Layouts: 257
Loc: America
| Posted: 12/25/2012 5:57:47 PM
That's fuck*d up! Seriously! |
| ~~Sandy~~ SAHM to my son, full time student and wife. | |
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Spongemom Scrappants
HRH pilates teaching wino ball of fun
PeaNut 297,141
February 2007
Posts: 10,623
Layouts: 31
Loc: South Carolina
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 6:00:55 PM
What a crappy thing for parents to do. |
Angie
Where the boys are... my new husband, my four sons and my boy cat.
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megmc
AncestralPea
PeaNut 497,090
January 2011
Posts: 4,912
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/25/2012 6:02:40 PM
Were the kids warned to behave?
Then they have learn a heart breaking lesson. I bet they will behave better next year.
put it this way.
Kids are behaving, they are told Santa won't come if they are bad. they continue to misbehave. Santa comes anyway. They didn't learn any lesson at all.
etc aren't to are. | |
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NanaKate
My Grandkids Are Cuter Than Yours! ;)
PeaNut 135,321
March 2004
Posts: 9,742
Layouts: 0
Loc: Baytown, TX
| Posted: 12/25/2012 6:15:26 PM
There are @$$holes every where...so sorry for those kids. |
Kathie
"Write it on your heart that those you love are the greatest gifts of all." | |
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AKathy
Peaing From Podunk
PeaNut 45,443
August 2002
Posts: 14,568
Layouts: 93
Loc: North Dakota
| Posted: 12/25/2012 6:17:05 PM
Were the kids warned to behave?
Then they have learn a heart breaking lesson. I bet they will behave better next year.
put it this way.
Kids aren't behaving, they are told Santa won't come if they are bad. they continue to misbehave. Santa comes anyway. They didn't learn any lesson at all.
Yeah but seriously? Taking away Christmas? I was a hard ass Mom and believed in following through but this is a prime example of why you should never threaten anything you don't plan on carrying through. Taking away Santa is a pretty harsh punishment for grade school age kids. Geez, poor kids. |
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Aggiemom92
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 90,200
June 2003
Posts: 2,693
Layouts: 2
| Posted: 12/25/2012 6:18:49 PM
I guess it's not much of a mystery why the kids are so poorly behaved.
No kidding. |
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caroscraps
7 Sweetpeas for me
PeaNut 20,301
August 2001
Posts: 11,685
Layouts: 0
Loc: The PEAch State
| Posted: 12/25/2012 6:21:00 PM
I don't know the kids , they live next door to my DS and family. DS says the boys are well behaved and respectful to him and his girls. They were shocked too about the parents. This is a new neighborhood where most houses are under a year old. Should be interesting for DS and DIL having them as neighbors. They seem like nice people but misguided parenting IMO.
I would not be able to do this to my kids. I would use other means to discipline. |
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*theCakeGirl*
PeaFixture
PeaNut 220
April 1999
Posts: 3,507
Layouts: 148
Loc: Upstate NY
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 6:23:12 PM
That's your side of the story. As a parent who fussed at her kids about telling the truth, listening and just general good behavior and completely ignored. They were warned for quite a while to behave and as Christmas got closer and closer the behavior still didn't change...Both mom and dad warned Santa would not stop by. Guess what? Santa DID NOT stop. They each got two presents from Mom & Dad. At first they were in shock, then we reminded them of their terrible awful no good horrible bad behavior. Lightbulbs went off. Overall behavior and attitudes changed immediately. They were 6 & 7 at the time. It killed me! BUT I stuck to what I said.
The years following Santa has stopped and showered them generously. They are now 13 & 14 They are bright caring wonderful girls who do well in school and sports. I couldn't ask for better kids. It didn't ruin Christmas forever, it didn't scar them, but at the time I was not about to reward two girls on the naughty list.
Me personally I applaud that mom for sticking to her guns and hugs to her because I know how much it had to have killed her inside to not shower them with presents from Santa. |
http://www.nomadescollection.com/denisem
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tracylynngibson
PeaNut
PeaNut 534,508
December 2011
Posts: 429
Layouts: 13
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 6:26:27 PM
Can you say scarred for life?!? 
What the grinch were they thinking? | |
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luvmythree
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 223,222
September 2005
Posts: 2,704
Layouts: 47
Loc: Kansas
| Posted: 12/25/2012 6:28:43 PM
There are other ways to teach the kids about their behavior. |
Kirsten mom to~
Alexandria 20
Ethan 10
Owen 8 CFC syndrome,cp 29.5 wk preemie
Expecting my first grandbaby May 2013!
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2peafaithful
People not perfection
PeaNut 35,457
April 2002
Posts: 27,840
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right where I should be
| Posted: 12/25/2012 6:30:34 PM
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PEAce sign
i'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious.
PeaNut 274,722
August 2006
Posts: 12,911
Layouts: 0
Loc: OH-IO!
| Posted: 12/25/2012 6:50:15 PM
As the patent of an 8 year old who was sent home from school twice this week, I can understand. Most people will tell you ds is very polite. You never know...
That said, mine got plenty of gifts today. This is because I need to have good new toys to take away from him when school starts again. Seriously.
It's a looooong work in progress. Terrible at school, angel at home. Last year it was the other way around. | |
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eversograceful1
Feeling Spaztastic!
PeaNut 69,237
February 2003
Posts: 7,467
Layouts: 73
Loc: Northern Florida
| Posted: 12/25/2012 6:56:02 PM
I couldn't do it myself. |
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purpledaisy
Calm
PeaNut 116,261
November 2003
Posts: 25,157
Layouts: 102
| Posted: 12/25/2012 6:56:30 PM
Wow! That is sad! |
Becca
May we be consumed with the Creator of all things rather than with things created.
6 rings - no cheating! Go STEELERS!
Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head. | |
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Susie Pea
PeaAddict
PeaNut 433,822
August 2009
Posts: 1,417
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 7:27:18 PM
I don't think I could ever do that, but we don't know the whole story. I wouldn't be so quick to pick apart their parenting skills. | |
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WingNut
Best Cat Evahhh!
PeaNut 18,741
July 2001
Posts: 13,094
Layouts: 200
Loc: Maryland
| Posted: 12/25/2012 7:43:14 PM
We have never tied behavior to Christmas. That's not what we want Christmas to be about. |
Joy
"And a Christian who constantly complains, fails to be a good Christian: they become Mr. or Mrs. Whiner, no?" - Pope Francis"
Into the Thicklebit- My new favorite blog/webcomic!
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3kidmama
AncestralPea
PeaNut 268,201
July 2006
Posts: 4,928
Layouts: 8
Loc: Northwoods
| Posted: 12/25/2012 7:48:38 PM
I've never been a fan of bribing kids to behave properly. That is my job as a parent - to teach, train, discipline and guide them.
When dh and I started dating in our very first heart-to-heart talk about our childhoods, he told me that one year (early elementary age) his grandmother gave him a BRICK for Christmas. It was wrapped up under the tree and he opened it with great anticipation only to feel bewilderment, shock, disappointment and then shame.
Here was a man in his mid-20s in graduate school with the biggest heart in the world yet he's still "smarting" over his grandmother's decision! He still has no idea what he did that year to anger his grandmother - nor does he remember a different gift from her. He just assumes in her mind, she must have thought he was a bad boy? 
The sad thing is that the event led to DH NOT ever close to his grandmother. My easy-going DH actually gets along with everybody so obviously his grandmother's actions wounded him pretty deeply and left them with a relationship where he never felt that she was someone he could count on for love. He was always polite and respectful to her, but maintained her at an arms distance.
Don't be so sure that those kinds of events are no big deal! They become life-long memories attached to HUGE tradition-heavy events on our culture (Christmas) so therefore they will be recalled again and again, yr after yr. I guarantee you KIDS WILL REMEMBER - and it likely won't be what you think! | |
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I-95
It's all just nonsense anyway!
PeaNut 97,456
July 2003
Posts: 19,552
Layouts: 0
Loc: California, NY & Orlando
| Posted: 12/25/2012 7:48:54 PM
Whoa. I'm a pretty hard ass mom when it comes to following through with threats...and I do use Christmas as a threat....but I claim I'm going to take away ONE present for not modifying behaviors...I can't imagine how bad a kid would have to be to cancel the whole thing. | |
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CraftChickaPowPow
PeaAddict
PeaNut 477,269
August 2010
Posts: 1,460
Layouts: 0
Loc: N 4720.2 W 12206.2
| Posted: 12/25/2012 7:53:40 PM
People are pathetic. No wonder I prefer dogs! |
| They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. | |
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Really Red
Pea-ceful and Hap-pea
PeaNut 24,951
November 2001
Posts: 8,176
Layouts: 1
| Posted: 12/25/2012 8:36:51 PM
I guess it's not much of a mystery why the kids are so poorly behaved.
Oh yes.
There are THOUSANDS of other ways to raise a good, kind child. No one way works for all kids.
When I see stuff like this, it makes me sick. I do think it's a form of child abuse. I take away my son's electronics, etc., and say no to my girls about seeing their friends, but take away Christmas? That's your best solution?
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Andrea
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller | |
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doesitmatter?
AncestralPea
PeaNut 509,811
May 2011
Posts: 4,854
Layouts: 21
| Posted: 12/25/2012 8:38:07 PM
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| Child of God, follower of Jesus, and so thankful for His presence in my life <>< | |
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megmc
AncestralPea
PeaNut 497,090
January 2011
Posts: 4,912
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/25/2012 8:41:50 PM
They didn't take away Christmas, they just took away Santa.
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UkSue
AncestralPea
PeaNut 428,374
June 2009
Posts: 4,243
Layouts: 2
Loc: Greater London
| Posted: 12/25/2012 8:48:03 PM
A few years ago, my best friend took toys from Santa away from her two girls AFTER they opened them , due to bad behaviour. It broke my heart, because they were adopted from a dreadful home and struggle more than most kids due to this. These are my precious God-daughters, and I wasn't allowed to give them my presents, either. I wouldn't say that they are scarred from this, however I just find it really sad.
I can't help but feel that you have already lost the battle some time much earlier, if you have to use a removal of Christmas presents to get a point across. |
| Love is short, forgetting is long, and understanding longer still. | |
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Dani-Mani
PEAdiatric pea
PeaNut 15,872
May 2001
Posts: 17,639
Layouts: 3
Loc: USA
| Posted: 12/25/2012 8:48:22 PM
I must be the hardest of hard asses.
The kids got gifts. What's the big deal?
I say go mom and dad. |
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ChildOfThe60s
Who has my six? Anyone??
PeaNut 3,009
February 2000
Posts: 16,477
Layouts: 27
Loc: the left side of the right coast
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 8:51:57 PM
If they gave them each one gift then yes; they pretty much DID take away their Christmas. Obviously they didn't take the date off the calendar.
Kids aren't behaving, they are told Santa won't come if they are bad. they continue to misbehave. Santa comes anyway. They didn't learn any lesson at all.
SHAME ON PARENTS who say that SANTA WON'T COME AT ALL if children that age misbehave. They're CHILDREN; they aren't perfect little robots. They're going to misbehave.
Parents should let children know that Santa is watching, but to say that he won't come at all is setting children up for failure.
JMHO
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Mrs_Tyler
Sorting Laundry
PeaNut 197,836
March 2005
Posts: 24,079
Layouts: 246
Loc: Enjoying the humid continental climate zone.
| Posted: 12/25/2012 8:53:05 PM
I couldn't do it personally, but I think it's an overreaction to, without knowing the whole story, accuse the parents of child abuse. And you can look at it as "bribing" the kids to behave, or on the flip side you could say you aren't rewarding bad behavior. Santa us not the ONLY part f Christmas. And at our house Santa doesn't bring most of the presents. We give gifts to each other as a reminder of Christ's gift to the world and Santa brings a few extra toys. If you make Christmas all about Santa only, then denying Santa is comparable to taking away Christmas. But we don't know the whole story and maybe the kids' behavior was truly really very naughty.
Like I said, it's not something I think I could do, but I'm not going to judge the parents as cold hearted abusers for withholding Santa's gifts when I don't know the entire story. I do know some kids who have been spoiled rotten by Santa and are beyond naughty and never disciplined. Wouldn't that also be a form of neglect? Not actually disciplining at all? | |
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myboysnme
one of those "entitled" peas
PeaNut 69,081
February 2003
Posts: 6,737
Layouts: 1
| Posted: 12/25/2012 8:56:23 PM
Hard asses at Christmas - so proud of themselves for asserting their parental authority.
what happened to giving for the sake of giving; good will toward all and all that?
Way to teach a lesson about God's love. He still gave his son no matter how everyone was acting.
I'm glad I never had a parent like that and wasn't a parent like that. I get as much joy from giving as anyone does who receives.
If you want to tie gift giving to behavior, why celebrate Christmas at all? Just do a star chart and reward behavior that way. |
My choice is to not take it personally - people have opinions. Particularly people here.-Peabay 12/29/11
I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
profile pic courtesy of GreenEyedLady Designs at Scrap ARt Studio.
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readsomething
Got Samoas?
PeaNut 70,391
February 2003
Posts: 7,677
Layouts: 1
Loc: Norfolk VA
| Posted: 12/25/2012 10:30:42 PM
I'll be entirely honest: I have tears in my eyes just thinking about this!
Christmas is about giving and joy, not punishment and retribution. There are about 50 billion other ways that, as a parent, you should be able to discipline your kids. Take away electronics, time with friends, assign additional chores.
Next year, if those kids "earn the privilege" of having Christmas, they'll remember this year in contrast, all right. Forever.
I could *possibly* see it if the kids were teenagers who broke all the rules and set fires. But age 6 and 7??? Disgusting and hurtful. |
Heather
Finally Four of Us
Regional vice president of the National Sarcasm Society (Like We Need Your Support)
Senior Executive Vice President, Dunder-Mifflin Paper Co., Scranton PA
"Every time I use a coupon, Satan gets another one of his toenails pulled out."
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Dani-Mani
PEAdiatric pea
PeaNut 15,872
May 2001
Posts: 17,639
Layouts: 3
Loc: USA
| Posted: 12/25/2012 10:33:10 PM
Where did she list their ages?
And six year olds can and do engage in destructive behavior. For all we know they could've tried to set the cat on fire, or cut off a little sisters ponytail. |
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pennyring
Thrift Ninja
PeaNut 226,011
October 2005
Posts: 22,413
Layouts: 40
Loc: Rite Aid
| Posted: 12/25/2012 10:39:22 PM
Kids mess up a lot. They need constant reminders. You can't ask a little kid to be good ALL THE TIME or else no Christmas. It's an impossible task to complete. They're being set up for failure! It's a sick, twisted thing to do to a child.
As the parent, you are supposed to correct, and correct again. You don't set your kids up to fail and take away Christmas. That's just evil.
Horrible parents.
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readsomething
Got Samoas?
PeaNut 70,391
February 2003
Posts: 7,677
Layouts: 1
Loc: Norfolk VA
| Posted: 12/25/2012 10:52:57 PM
And six year olds can and do engage in destructive behavior. For all we know they could've tried to set the cat on fire, or cut off a little sisters ponytail.
The ages were in a post further down, by another Pea who had done it w her own kids.
And a 6yo who tries to set fire to anything needs something Santa doesn't pack in his sack, like counseling. I don't get where the lesson of "we don't hurt living creatures" is, when Santa doesn't bring toys.
I've never said to my DD that Santa wouldn't come if she doesn't behave. I remind her: Santa is watching. If I've done my job right and she doesn't have some behavioral or personality disorder, she has a conscience. She knows what good behavior is. That prodding should be enough.
I don't expect perfect behavior. Kids are kids. Anything I really can't handle, I'd call a therapist, not pin my hopes on Santa's magic, to help me deal w my kid. |
Heather
Finally Four of Us
Regional vice president of the National Sarcasm Society (Like We Need Your Support)
Senior Executive Vice President, Dunder-Mifflin Paper Co., Scranton PA
"Every time I use a coupon, Satan gets another one of his toenails pulled out."
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alittleintrepid
PeaAddict
PeaNut 345,847
November 2007
Posts: 1,767
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 12/25/2012 10:56:10 PM
No listening could mean a lot of different things. It could be that they need lots of reminders to do their homework, brush their teeth, make their beds etc. Or it could mean that they have been involved in serious, even criminal behaviours, for which they need a stern, clear message to stop. I this was the case, I can't imagine that they would share it liberally with new neighbours. I think we need more of the story.
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Charabby
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 123,049
January 2004
Posts: 2,299
Layouts: 0
Loc: My couch
| Posted: 12/25/2012 10:59:10 PM
I personally never used Santa as a discipline tool because I knew I'd never follow through. There are very few justifications I can think of for using what is a joyous, family oriented day as a discipline tool makes sense to me, or seems like it would be effective. Honestly, it mostly seems like a big F you to kids, in their language.
So without any back story, my impression is that the parents are asses. |
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enjoytotheend
AncestralPea
PeaNut 359,333
January 2008
Posts: 4,034
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 12/26/2012 3:19:13 AM
I say let Santa and Christmas come. If there are still issues ground them from their new toys for awhile until they can learn to act appropriately and then give them back to them. I could never do no Christmas with children. | |
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TalissaAmity
PeaNut
PeaNut 154,643
June 2004
Posts: 462
Layouts: 0
Loc: Melbourne Australia
| Posted: 12/26/2012 4:28:13 AM
Wow!! 
I just can't imagine sitting there and waiting for that disappointment and sadness to sweep across my children's faces. How did those parents sleep that night knowing what their children were going to wake up to? | |
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cm_stephenson
BucketHead
PeaNut 211,645
June 2005
Posts: 598
Layouts: 22
Loc: Kirriemuir, Scotland
| Posted: 12/26/2012 4:41:49 AM
gift
noun
1. something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
2. the act of giving.
3. something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without its being earned:
4.a special ability or capacity; natural endowment; talent: the gift of saying the right thing at the right time.
verb
5. to present with as a gift; bestow gifts upon; endow with.
6. to present (someone) with a gift:
A gift is unconditional (no. 3 on the list) and as we give it it no longer belongs to us.
We as adults should have the gift (ie capacity) to recognise giving for what it is and not make it conditional. There was a thread here last week about continuing to help someone as committed even though the other person was behaving badly - most respondents referred to the donor as a doormat ... whereas she was actually refusing to place conditions on her gift
Sadly I hear many people threaten their kids in the run up to Christmas that Santa won't bring anything ... and having made the threat most then pretend they didn't and Santa visits anyway. As soon as anyone utters that threat for the first time they have placed a condition ... it is no longer gifts that are to be delivered but burdens.
We do not know all the ins and outs of this particular family situation but unless we can hold our hands up and say we have never delivered burdens to our kids on Christmas morning (and yes I did it when my daughter was young without thinking) we should not be judging.
Cathy |
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There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. Edith Wharton
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katybee8
AncestralPea
PeaNut 421,136
April 2009
Posts: 4,947
Layouts: 8
Loc: Chicago NW burbs
| Posted: 12/26/2012 4:42:50 AM
Wow. I could never do that.
I see nothing wrong with giving the gifts and limiting the use of them if the poor behavior continued, such as giving an X-Box and if the non-listening continues, the X-Box goes away for a while. I would think that would be a parenting SOP. It was in my house when I was young, but I was well behaved.
Since these are elementary kids, I hope mom and dad have checked out the physical or psychological possibilities for why these kids are "not listening well" before they became grinches.
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lisabb
PeaAddict
PeaNut 526,561
November 2011
Posts: 1,205
Layouts: 0
Loc: Bonnie Scotland
| Posted: 12/26/2012 8:30:46 AM
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benem
Yo, that's fifty dollars for a T-shirt.
PeaNut 526,154
October 2011
Posts: 5,534
Layouts: 0
Loc: Illinois
| Posted: 12/26/2012 8:32:06 AM
The point of Santa is that he does not bring gifts to naughty children.
And the kids still got gifts from their parents who love them.
And Christmas is not only about how much crap is under the tree.... Or is it???? |
"We are NSBR. We talk about E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
Diva Cups Merkins Tub Girl Crock Pots Kitten Heels The Hoff HOF Obama Bush Kardashians Shopping Carts Shopping Trolleys Dead Aunt Cookies Trolls Not Trolls Garden Snakes Snails Stripper Poles with or with out Birds In-Laws Scoff-Laws Blogs Borg Paint Colors Dinner Books and Each Other"
--SueSume, 3/21/13
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