awkward comment from a Sports Authority employee ... short son

Two Peas is Closing
Click here to visit our final product sale. Click here to visit our FAQ page regarding the closing of Two Peas.

Posted 1/10/2013 by old pea new name in NSBR Board
 

old pea new name
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 341,472
October 2007
Posts: 2,934
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/10/2013 7:41:19 PM
So we went to SA for basketball shoes for my 13 year old who's not 5 ft. He wears a men's 8.5 shoe. The SA employee asks what the shoes are for and I said middle school basketball. So he knew how old ds was. We asked some questions and then says, in front of son, "Do you think he's going to grow anymore?" Ummmm, I'd hope my 4'10 son grows. Ds felt kind of weird. he knows he's short, but to have someone ask if I think he'll grow?

If the feet have stopped growing, has the kid stopped? He's been an 8.5 for over a year and if he grows an inch a year, it's a huge spurt.

Peabay
Happy now?

PeaNut 156,993
July 2004
Posts: 46,562
Layouts: 13
Loc: Connecticut

Posted: 1/10/2013 7:45:43 PM
What a stupid thing to say!



old pea new name
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 341,472
October 2007
Posts: 2,934
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/10/2013 7:47:15 PM
Right? Like we don't know he's s hort and wonder what's up, no pun intended.

LolaLayout
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 544,018
February 2012
Posts: 2,407
Layouts: 1

Posted: 1/10/2013 7:48:18 PM
What the employee said was more telling of his lack of etiquette than of anything having to do with your son.

He definitely lacked tact, although rest easier knowing that he probably didn't speak maliciously. Just thoughtlessly.



*Stop the glorification of busy*

Gsquaredmom

PeaNut 259,367
April 2006
Posts: 8,896
Layouts: 0
Loc: Midwest

Posted: 1/10/2013 7:49:41 PM
I would assume he was asking to see if he should figure on a little growing room. This question was common where I grew up. It helped the salesperson get a better picture of our needs. When I was a kid, we always bought a half-size or so larger for "growing room"

If your kid did not seem bothered by it, I would not make a big deal out of it.



Roxie911
BucketHead

PeaNut 380,976
June 2008
Posts: 863
Layouts: 4
Loc: The Beach

Posted: 1/10/2013 7:49:44 PM
Maybe they meant foot wise? Like perhaps he didn't want to suggest a pricey shoe if you had any idea that your son's feet would grow any time soon.


Uploaded with iPhone client

notcomputersavvy
Sarcastic PEAotch

PeaNut 114,235
November 2003
Posts: 11,075
Layouts: 0
Loc: Ohio

Posted: 1/10/2013 7:53:03 PM
What an idiot.

We've had 2 encounters with idiots at sports store this year...
my son is tiny for his age.

When getting football gloves for him, even the smallest pair was too big. The employee said "well then obviously your son shouldn't be playing football if we don't have gloves his size".

Then when getting him basketball shoes and not finding them small enough the employee laughed right in front of DS and said
"toddlers don't play basketball".

Idiots!

ETA: My son is almost 8....definitely not too young to play sports and does quite well at them despite being small!





Jenny
sahm to my adorable girls Hannah (16), Brooke(12)
and my sweet boys Drew (6) Joey ( 1)

wildcatksu
PeaNut

PeaNut 25,901
December 2001
Posts: 294
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/10/2013 8:05:59 PM
Ask his doctor about feet growth & height.

I do know when my brother was about 13 & under 5 feet they started looking at his growth history & did X-rays of growth plates. By the time he was 15 they were months away from hormones but my dad found documentation that he got his height at 16. They waited another year or so. At his appointment to get the go ahead for hormones he had a good amount of growth that showed them he finally was hitting his growth spurt. He grew almost a foot in a year!

bizzymumma
I sense impending mayhem.

PeaNut 51,520
October 2002
Posts: 19,670
Layouts: 47
Loc: Beautiful BC

Posted: 1/10/2013 8:09:33 PM
I would have assumed he was referring to his feet and whether you might want to go up a size. I dont think the comment had anything to do with his height.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Laurie

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."
Doug Firebaugh


MotherofJackals
Turning holy water into wine

PeaNut 27,168
January 2002
Posts: 22,427
Layouts: 27
Loc: Hanging out by the state line

Posted: 1/10/2013 8:43:38 PM

I would have assumed he was referring to his feet and whether you might want to go up a size. I dont think the comment had anything to do with his height.


Me too. He was probably trying to decide if he should steer you towards a certain price point based on how likely your son was to grow out of a shoe before he wore it out.

SharlaG
Kingpin of something undisclosed, but important

PeaNut 88,246
May 2003
Posts: 36,986
Layouts: 0
Loc: Under a pile of dogs

Posted: 1/10/2013 8:57:14 PM
Add me to the perception that the employee was checking if you wanted to go a little larger on the shoe size. My youngest is short and I feel for you. It can be worrisome.







--If you see someone crying, ask if it's because of their haircut.



Uploaded with iPhone client

Maite
There is no secret ingredient

PeaNut 50,756
October 2002
Posts: 25,328
Layouts: 418
Loc: NC

Posted: 1/10/2013 8:58:12 PM
The day I started high school there was a new nun at my school,and she asked me if I was lost and needed help finding the pre-school building. I kid you not. I was tiny and scrawny and short. By the time we finished high school I was no longer the shortest kid in my class, and I grew two inches the summer before college. I am 5'6" now, so there is hope for short kids out there!


Maite

A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway.

my blog

Luvnlifelady
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 289,166
December 2006
Posts: 19,658
Layouts: 7
Loc: Southern California

Posted: 1/10/2013 9:05:23 PM
My 12 yo DS is on the short side. However, all 7 guys on both sides of the family are over 6', so there is hope. I hear stories of how my now 6'4" brother-in-law didn't sprout until late high school. They said he was short even when taking his driving test, so that must be sophomore year.

DS is doing fine socially but I do hope he grows more.



cmcshari
PEAlicious

PeaNut 552,226
April 2012
Posts: 326
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/10/2013 9:07:08 PM
Lots of boys continue growing even right out of high school. Growth spurts happen all the time. That was insensitive....

My boy wore a size 10 shoe in 4th grade(he had bigger feet than his male 4th grade teacher(can't remember my son's height that year but he was average to above avg....... he ended at size 15 in high school at 6 ft 2 in.


pennyring
Thrift Ninja

PeaNut 226,011
October 2005
Posts: 23,312
Layouts: 40
Loc: Rite Aid

Posted: 1/10/2013 9:07:24 PM

I would assume he was asking to see if he should figure on a little growing room. This question was common where I grew up. It helped the salesperson get a better picture of our needs. When I was a kid, we always bought a half-size or so larger for "growing room"


That. I don't see the big deal. My parents took me to "the good shoe store" when I was a kid and the guy would always ask about that.




meshelley
PeaFixture

PeaNut 431,262
July 2009
Posts: 3,905
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/10/2013 9:17:52 PM
Yeah, it was weird, akward and maybe even a little rude.

Unfortunatly, if he dosn't end up growing much more he will hear it over and over again. Likely every single day.

DH is pretty short - 5'4". He is completly comfortable with his height and has really (way too) high self-esteem. So, he's fine with people making comments and jokes about his heigth, and he frequently jokes around about it himself. He had to develop a thick skin and positive attitude because there is no end to people asking, commenting and joking about it.

It might be a good idea to talk with your DS about how he feels about it and start developing strategies for dealing with it... both internally and how he would like to respond to questions and comments. Sometimes things are easier to deal with if they don't catch us off guard.

raindancer
Capt. Sparrow's Pirate Wench

PeaNut 217,886
August 2005
Posts: 16,684
Layouts: 44

Posted: 1/10/2013 9:36:33 PM
I'm also thinking he meant shoe size, I worked in a shoe store and you would be surprised how many people would insist on the "just right size" and then 3 weeks later be back and pissed at *me* because their kids foot grew.

I have asked that question many times and it was not in relation to height.

Signed, a 5' tall ex-shoe saleswoman.


~Heidi~



"You can make excuses or you can make progress but you can't make both."

Free~Bird
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now

PeaNut 104,551
September 2003
Posts: 11,788
Layouts: 3
Loc: Missouri

Posted: 1/10/2013 9:40:09 PM
I would have assumed he was talking about his feet and growing room.

My son (18) was on the short side until he hit puberty which was about 15/16 range. I was taller than him up to that point and I'm 5'3". He's now about 5'11" and the tallest one in the family. I really wouldn't worry about your son's height.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My paintings on etsy:
Cease Watercolor Arts - Coupon code: imapea - 20% off for Peas!!



My Photography website and blog:
Cease Fire Studios

_Vanessa_
AlienGreenPea

PeaNut 494,100
January 2011
Posts: 506
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/10/2013 9:45:30 PM
I would just assume he was worried about room for growth. Our 13 year old is 6 feet tall and he grew more than a foot in a year. Last year we literally bought him new shoes every month to month/half. He is now at a men's 11.5 in 8th grade. I wish I had known to buy sizes ahead...
Uploaded with iPhone client

Pridemom
Pride of the Peas

PeaNut 25,575
December 2001
Posts: 19,818
Layouts: 45
Loc: Stuck in the Middle With You

Posted: 1/10/2013 10:16:25 PM
My son (18) was on the short side until he hit puberty which was about 15/16 range. I was taller than him up to that point and I'm 5'3". He's now about 5'11" and the tallest one in the family. I really wouldn't worry about your son's height.
------
Same story with my son. He was a little pudgy kid at 13. Now he's 17, six foot tall and his jeans hang on him. Same kid went from size 5/6 shoe to a 14! In one summer he grew 3 shoe sizes. Thank goodness for sandals and flip flops.




Proud Wife and Mom to four big goons!
I cannot be old enough to have three teens and a tween.

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially formed you to
go through it, not without pain but without stain.
-- C. S. Lewis

Uploaded with iPhone client

*KAS*
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 408,684
January 2009
Posts: 7,486
Layouts: 0
Loc: Georgia girl

Posted: 1/10/2013 10:21:19 PM
I would assume he didn't mean anything rude by it. If you said 'well, he has gone up a size in the last month' or something, then it wouldn't have seemed so insensitive, you know?

Don't give up hope! I graduated with a guy that was 5'9" at high school graduation. He's now 6'6"


***********************
KELLI



Had to delete my old account, but I've been here since July 2006!
Uploaded with iPhone client

doesitmatter?
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 509,811
May 2011
Posts: 6,639
Layouts: 27

Posted: 1/10/2013 10:22:27 PM
I actually think the salesperson was referring to growth vs shoe size - as every time I take my kids (most are tall - - average) I am asked about "growing".


Child of God, follower of Jesus, and so thankful for His presence in my life <><
Uploaded with iPhone client

Nicole in TX
The Peas did what we do and went insane over it

PeaNut 16,696
June 2001
Posts: 19,213
Layouts: 65
Loc: Not so obvious

Posted: 1/11/2013 3:22:43 AM
I teach 10th grade (that is 15 turning 16). Each year I have one or two boys that are the size of junior high kids. It never fails that over the summer and/or the next school year they shoot up and then out. Sometimes I barely recognize them as seniors. It will happen.



PghScrapper
Waiting for Godot

PeaNut 210,270
June 2005
Posts: 11,049
Layouts: 47
Loc: Back in the 'Burgh

Posted: 1/11/2013 3:28:35 AM
Face it - a lot of kids working in those sports stores haven't quite developed the smoothest communications skills yet.

Regarding growth: my DS was always one of the smallest kids in his class. But around the age of 13 1/2 he had explosive growth - went up 5 shoe sizes in one month and added almost 4 inches in height growth. All of it corresponded to the onset of puberty. He continued to grow through HS and even college and is a very normal 5'11" or so now.



-----------------------------------------
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. -Eleanor Roosevelt

pelirroja
PeaFixture

PeaNut 21,146
September 2001
Posts: 3,301
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right Here, Right Now

Posted: 1/11/2013 3:48:25 AM
I know you're all Mama Bear over this but I truly believe the SA guy was asking about growing room so you're not back there in a few weeks looking for a larger shoe size and mad at SA for a subpar fitting job by the employee. It's a shoe-fit question, not a judgement or interrogation. I don't think he was insulting you. He was just helping you make an informed decision you would be satisfied with since basketball shoes are pricey if you have to keep rebuying sizes every few weeks.

FWIW: MY kid is extremely tall and we get asked the same EXACT question so it's not about height of your kid but the fit of the shoe to the foot. I never considered it awkward or insulting. Just an informed decision.


Pelly





tikibay
PeaFixture

PeaNut 51,706
October 2002
Posts: 3,996
Layouts: 33
Loc: South Jersey Girl

Posted: 1/11/2013 6:34:55 AM

I was thinking his feet were large. But now I'm starting to think we have small feet. My dh is almost 6' and wears a 8.5. My ds (11 yrs old) is 5'1 and wears a size 3.5 youth.

Maybe the guy at the store ment his shoe size to see how much wiggle room to give.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




MerryMom937
PeaFixture

PeaNut 472,567
June 2010
Posts: 3,775
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/11/2013 7:08:10 AM

I would have assumed he was referring to his feet and whether you might want to go up a size. I dont think the comment had anything to do with his height.



Me too. He was probably trying to decide if he should steer you towards a certain price point based on how likely your son was to grow out of a shoe before he wore it out.


I think the sales clerk was trying to inquire whether your son's foot has recently grown. I think that, in general, the feet tend to grow and then my son's height would then increase. It seems that my son's feet would grow and then no change in size for a long period of time, then growth, then no growth. It never seemed like a steady growth.

I agree that the clerk was asking about that. How much you want to size up based up recent foot growth.

I've been asked that type of question many times before and I was never insulted by the question.

amom23
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 108,542
September 2003
Posts: 7,155
Layouts: 0
Loc: ND

Posted: 1/11/2013 7:14:50 AM
My oldest has outgrown shoes before he season was over so I really think the guy was referring to your son's feet.


_________________________________________________

"When was the last time you did something for the 1st time?"

Miss Ang
I'm a Toilet Paper Pea. Are you?

PeaNut 26,443
January 2002
Posts: 12,621
Layouts: 398
Loc: Illinois

Posted: 1/11/2013 7:22:55 AM


I think you are sensitive to your son's height & therefore you picked up as a slight.
I agree. I think it is a legitimate question from the sales clerk.


-Angela

Jaci
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 41,462
June 2002
Posts: 2,939
Layouts: 4
Loc: NC

Posted: 1/11/2013 7:27:48 AM
What a weird thing to be asked....

My DH was 5ft, if that, as a HS freshman. When he graduated, he was 5'-10".


Working wife and soccer mom of two beautiful girls

nlbremer
PeaAddict

PeaNut 243,520
January 2006
Posts: 1,037
Layouts: 43
Loc: Summerville, SC

Posted: 1/11/2013 7:51:12 AM
What a tool. lol
He sounds clueless, but maybe he just lacks common sense and manners?

ilovecookies
PeaFixture

PeaNut 506,197
April 2011
Posts: 3,298
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/11/2013 8:36:34 AM

I would have assumed he was referring to his feet and whether you might want to go up a size. I dont think the comment had anything to do with his height.


This. You're being oversensitive because of your own insecurities.

I think your son is likely to be way more sensitive about his height because of your attitude and the fact that you always seem insulted and upset.

Maryland
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 87,597
May 2003
Posts: 11,075
Layouts: 0

Posted: 1/11/2013 8:50:15 AM
I guess I am in the minority here. My daughter has had questions like that and it didn't bother me at all. Sometimes it has to do with clothing and they ask that to see if we want a certain size if we are between sizes. I would have thought the employee wants you to get the most for your money. He may just not know when the average girl or boy stops growing.

And I have noticed that many boys in my 13 yr. old daughters grade are a lot shorter than the girls (my daughter is 5 ft. 4 in.). My 15 yr. old has noticed that boys seem to get a lot taller around 9th or 10th grade. So I don't think it is uncommon at all to see a 13 yr. old boy 4ft. 10 in. Hopefully the employee is new and hasn't been around kids much and doesn't know any better.


peas&carrots
BucketHead

PeaNut 62,524
January 2003
Posts: 576
Layouts: 17
Loc: North Texas

Posted: 1/11/2013 8:56:06 AM
I agree that the clerk was likely asking about his foot growing more, but I can totally sympathize with the sting of that question.

Both of my sons are on the small side, some 4th graders are as tall as my 8th grader! It does sting (us and them) when someone asks or says something that seems insensitive about their size. Depending on the context, I will say something that lets the person know that maybe next time they shouldn't ask/say that.

Our kids may sprout up, they may not. Regardless they need to know how to handle stuff like this graciously because there will ALWAYS be someone, somewhere who says something insensitive (intentionally or not). If we give them the tools to handle themselves in those situations, they'll be better for it.

Carrie

scrappincolleen
PeaAddict

PeaNut 426,629
June 2009
Posts: 1,278
Layouts: 13
Loc: Kenosha, WI

Posted: 1/11/2013 12:39:00 PM
I also think the sales person was asking about his feet growing. When I was in 6th grade I went from a size 7 to an 11 from August to December. My parents were constantly having to buy me new shoes even with allowing room to grow.

With your son's age, I think the sales person is probably trained to ask questions like that to make sure you are getting the right shoes for the needs.


My Race Tracker!

5K's - PR 44:51
10K's - PR 1 hr 37
10 Mile - PR 2 hrs 40 min set 6/18/11
1/2 Marathon - PR 3 hrs 40 min

I can't believe I'm actually a runner now!!!!

And even better...I'm a tri-athlete!!!

.Megan.
Go WINGS!!

PeaNut 100,223
August 2003
Posts: 14,023
Layouts: 15
Loc: Utah

Posted: 1/11/2013 12:43:32 PM
Add me to the "not awkward" camp. It was an honest question coming from a shoe salesman.



*melrose*
PeaFixture

PeaNut 263,952
June 2006
Posts: 3,831
Layouts: 60
Loc: in the land of fruit, nuts, flakes & quakes!

Posted: 1/11/2013 1:19:34 PM

I would have assumed he was referring to his feet and whether you might want to go up a size. I dont think the comment had anything to do with his height.


ditto.

You were asking about shoes, not floor length coats!


melrose
i'm living my *dash*, are YOU?
the dash movie
the gratitude campaign ~ join today!

mdoc
Peaing under the Radar

PeaNut 61,691
January 2003
Posts: 12,447
Layouts: 0
Loc: In the Middle

Posted: 1/11/2013 1:59:01 PM
I've been asked that when buying soccer shoes for my D. The salesperson was trying to figure out if it made sense to put her in the next bigger size so I wouldn't have to buy new shoes mid-season. I explained that to my D when she asked why the salesperson asked the question and neither one of us gave it another thought.

UkSue
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 428,374
June 2009
Posts: 5,008
Layouts: 2
Loc: Greater London

Posted: 1/11/2013 2:05:51 PM

Maybe they meant foot wise? Like perhaps he didn't want to suggest a pricey shoe if you had any idea that your son's feet would grow any time soon.



This is what I thought, too.


It's not the passage of time that heals. It's what you do with that time.

cmpeter
PEAceful Pea

PeaNut 14,521
April 2001
Posts: 37,572
Layouts: 31
Loc: Washington State

Posted: 1/11/2013 2:16:37 PM

I was thinking his feet were large. But now I'm starting to think we have small feet. My dh is almost 6' and wears a 8.5. My ds (11 yrs old) is 5'1 and wears a size 3.5 youth


I think 8.5 is small for a 6' guy. My dh is 5'11" and wears a 10. My son is 6'3" and wears a 14.


Cindi

CnBsmommy
PeaAddict

PeaNut 308,331
April 2007
Posts: 1,323
Layouts: 0
Loc: Southwest

Posted: 1/11/2013 2:30:49 PM
I am asked that about my kids. It's a normal comment & not one to get offended over, certainly doesn't merit calling the guy an idiot as has been done on this thread. He wasn't trying to be rude. Had he said something about how short he was for middle school that might have been awkward.

bridgyree
PeaAddict

PeaNut 218,303
August 2005
Posts: 1,080
Layouts: 18
Loc: Pennsylvania

Posted: 1/11/2013 4:07:00 PM

It's a normal comment & not one to get offended over, certainly doesn't merit calling the guy an idiot as has been done on this thread.


Very common question when buying shoes for a kid. Poor guy, just trying to his job...

bugluver
PeaAddict

PeaNut 371,264
April 2008
Posts: 1,554
Layouts: 0
Loc: St. Louis

Posted: 1/11/2013 4:15:21 PM
DS just turned 14 Dec 30th. He was 4"8 at his 13th birthday. He is 5"4 now. Things change quickly during puberty. Think about his body, is he growing pubic hair, facial hair? Is his voice starting to change? Those things have all happened in the last year for DS. We all worry about something but it will be ok.
Show/Hide Icons . Show/Hide Signatures
Hide
{{ title }}
{{ icon }}
{{ body }}
{{ footer }}