| |
icedpea
BucketHead
PeaNut 562,203
July 2012
Posts: 807
Layouts: 0
|  Posted: 1/27/2013 4:02:52 PM
The good- that I deserved better, though I haven't found it yet
The bad- that I can't trust anyone. | |
|
_Vanessa_
PeaNut
PeaNut 494,100
January 2011
Posts: 395
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 4:37:27 PM
I learned that there's nothing wrong with me and there never has been.  | |
|
Free~Bird
Honorary Bearcat!
PeaNut 104,551
September 2003
Posts: 9,925
Layouts: 3
Loc: Missouri
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 4:39:56 PM
I learned that I was really, really depressed and didn't know it. |
|
|
scorPEAo
AncestralPea
PeaNut 181,836
December 2004
Posts: 4,980
Layouts: 0
Loc: YouSeeDavis
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 4:45:34 PM
I'm happier single |
|
|
SuPeaNatural
PeaAddict
PeaNut 412,905
February 2009
Posts: 1,643
Layouts: 5
Loc: Queensland, Australia
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 4:51:38 PM
That marriage is not for me and I'll never do it again. Not even live with someone. |
They're all crazy. They're all crazy except you and me. Sometimes I have my doubts about you! Martin - Dracula, 1931 | |
|
|
sara b
Labby "Mom"
PeaNut 33,785
March 2002
Posts: 22,168
Layouts: 95
Loc: Indianapolis, IN
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 4:58:52 PM
Really these are things I learned from my first marriage not necessarily what I learned from my divorce.
* To think before I speak because once you say something you can't take it back.
* I deserve to be happy even if it means leaving.
* You can only work so hard at something for so long. If the other person isn't willing to work at it too, I could either keep working at it myself or walk away.
* I really CAN take care of myself & it's way easier to do if I'm no trying to take care of someone else at the same time who should be taking care of himself.
|
Sara B
"I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the unhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better" George Bird Evans
"Handle every stressful situation like a dog (aka Lab ): If you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it & walk away!" (author unknown)
 | |
|
|
pelirroja
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 21,146
September 2001
Posts: 2,984
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right Here, Right Now
| |
danammm
PeaFixture
PeaNut 50,943
October 2002
Posts: 3,153
Layouts: 74
Loc: Oregon
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 7:59:16 PM
I learned....
...that it is not a good idea to "settle" for someone because you can live with what is wrong.
...that it is better to hurt them once and get out than to keep waffling.
...that I wasn't ME during my 1st marriage, I was trying to be who he thought I should be.
...that I was so much happier in the rest of my life (work, family, friendships) when I was happy in my personal life. My coworkers were astounded at the changes in me.
...that being true to myself made me a much better person. |
*************************************
Dana in OR not MN
"Dance like nobody's watching" | |
|
|
justbecause
AncestralPea
PeaNut 249,087
February 2006
Posts: 4,520
Layouts: 1
 | Posted: 1/27/2013 8:11:55 PM
That both people have to want to work to make it last.
That I deserved to be with someone that I actually trust and trusts me. That ended up being one of our biggest issues.
That a divorce doesn't equal failure.
That I'm the one responsible for my happiness, not him.
That it's ok to walk away sometimes. |
just because I feel like it
http://www.etsy.com/shop/DeafKnitter
| |
|
|
Roundtwo
BucketHead
PeaNut 473,695
July 2010
Posts: 830
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 1/27/2013 8:53:15 PM
I learned that kids see a lot more than we give them credit for. Trying to hide the bad stuff from them to keep the family together is not good for anyone.
|
| I'm not really a new pea but am an anonymous pea who doesn't remember my original screen name before going anonymous. I don't want to be anonymous anymore but really I guess I am still anonymous since no one knows me anyway! | |
|
|
sunluver
PeaAddict
PeaNut 387,904
August 2008
Posts: 1,839
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 1/27/2013 8:58:04 PM
That I was stronger than I thot I was.
I could be happy without him.
I was not the failure exdh kept telling me I was.
There is life after divorce. An awesome life.
Exdh always told me, I couldn't do better than him. Not true. I did a lot better than him.
I wasn't the one that made him cheat. | |
|
Really Red
Pea-ceful and Hap-pea
PeaNut 24,951
November 2001
Posts: 8,167
Layouts: 1
| Posted: 1/27/2013 9:35:37 PM
That I should have recognized the signs 20 years earlier and not settled for what I had.
And that I will never settle again. I may compromise, but I will not settle. |
Andrea
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller | |
|
|
TinCin
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 29,331
February 2002
Posts: 6,214
Layouts: 0
Loc: Living in the palm of the hand.
| Posted: 1/27/2013 9:48:30 PM
That it takes two to make a relationship work but only one to destroy it.
That I was right when I told myself to never trust anyone else to support me, that I should always be able to provide for myself. I was 16 and saw a close relative walk out on his wife and leave her destitute when I decided that.
And that life is good, very good.
|
| PROUD MEMBER OF UAW LOCAL 659 - Home of the Sit-Down Strike! | |
|
|
