6 Month Update on My Sister - ScrappinSpidey
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 1/30/2013 by clee321 in NSBR Board
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clee321
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Posted: 1/30/2013 1:46:59 PM
Hello Peas! First, I want to thank you for all the support you have sown us over the past 6 months. It has been crazy and no one really knows what is "right" and well... here we are. Lynn misses you dearly and we often talk about you and think of things to tell/ask you.

With the 6 month mark here, it seemed like a good idea to write an update.This update was written by ScrappinSpidey so I am just the conduit.


Update from us:

Today the girl turns 14. It has been a roller coaster of a ride with her the last few weeks. Saturday was the 6 month mark and it has been a tough one. She is bringing her grades up slowly but they are coming up. Her band has been selected to play in Disneyland's main street parade this spring and she is super excited about that. We are still healing so we have good days and bad days still. We are still struggling to find that “normal" spot

The boy was accepted into ASU for the fall semester. I am so proud of him. He finishes his airplane mechanics course this summer and then into his engineering degree in the fall. He will be staying at the dorms as his sister and I are moving to CA to be with my MIL for the next few years. It will be hard for me to leave him here but he is so ready to get out on his own and do this. He is excited about college and so am I. I managed to get him through highschool without any pregnancies, marriages, drinking etc. One down, one to go

I have a part time job at a local hospital. I work two nights a week and can pick up more if I need them. It feels weird being at work but a welcome escape from the rest of the stuff we are dealing with. When it rains it pours and the last 6 months have been no exception. We had a major flooding issue in the house. I now have holes in my ceiling, walls and closets where they fixed the plumbing and dried it out. Because I am not using my home owners insurance, it has been an interesting experience. The company who was recommended to replace the drywall is basically telling me to advertise on craigslist because they have to charge me way to much to get it fixed. So I still have holes everywhere. My 6 month old kitchen stove died yesterday. Waiting for sears to come out tomorrow and check it out, hopefully it will be under warranty. We have had some entertaining moments between my daughter and I dealing with everything. luckily we have been in counseling a while so we have resources to turn to.

A small plug for my sister here. She has been amazing She came out in December and saved Christmas for us. Helped me with a lot of projects and an Ikea run I would be very lost without her. She has been super amazing in dropping everything, flying out here from the east coast when I sound overwhelmed and helps get us back on track. The best part is she doesn't ask me. She just shows up.

We have made some major decisions regarding moving and housing. Yet at the same time we can't seem to get simple household chores done, groceries purchased, dinners made etc. Most days its amusing to realize that we really aren't functioning like we claim. 6 months has been really hard on me emotionally. Everyone says its normal but I hate it since I'm not that emotional of a person. Crying is not my thing yet yesterday I found myself crying in public over stupid things. *sigh* Nothing I can do about it but keep kleenex handy.

I've lost more friends, some relationships have gotten even stronger. I found out that apparently when your husband dies, you turn from a frumpy, overweight, out of shape person into a goddess with husband stealing capabilities overnight. Its highly entertaining if it weren't so sad. For those who wonder how to deal with widows, please understand we don't want your husbands. We want ours back. Yours cannot and does not compare to the one we lost and we don't have the energy for your husband, must less the energy to steal them If you truly think that a widow is going to steal your husband, you need to take a long look at your own self. /rant

I miss the peas something fierce. I have so many things I could use your advise on. I pop in and read daily still but its so difficult not to reply or start my own threads. Facebook is even worse. We are managing for now. We have pockets of sunshine and I look forward to those the most. I look forward to the day I can have both the peas and my facebook back but for now there still isn't any for sure date on that issue.

That's it from us for now.

Lynn/BW



PEArfect
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Posted: 1/30/2013 1:53:23 PM
Thanks for sharing the update. It sounds like she has a great support system between family, friends, and her counseling. Hopefully all of her house issues and insurance coverage will work out in her favor.


Jen


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Posted: 1/30/2013 1:54:52 PM
It sounds like the best update we can hope for!
Im glad to hear that she is working through some of her pain, as are her children.

Are you guys sisters? I missed the connection somewhere!



Rhondito
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Posted: 1/30/2013 1:56:21 PM
I didn't know you were Lynn's sister! Reading what she said about you put a big lump in my throat. What an incredible, unselfish, giving, and loving sister you are. She is blessed to have you.

Lynn, God bless you and your children. I pray things will get easier for you and know that we send nothing but good thoughts your way.


Rhonda



ScrapnGranny
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Posted: 1/30/2013 1:57:50 PM
Thanks for keeping us posted. I think of Lynne often.


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CADoodlebug
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Posted: 1/30/2013 1:58:23 PM
Thanks for sharing ~ little steps are good.


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clee321
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Posted: 1/30/2013 1:58:58 PM

Are you guys sisters? I missed the connection somewhere!


Yes, we are. She is the eldest but shortest sister *Grin*

I almost deleted that paragraph because it felt weird, but I did feel some pride in it, so I left it.

It has been hard to know "what is right" or "what is wrong" to do and I fear being the person who causes her major pain out of ignorance. BUT the alternative is NOT being there for her and I can't do that.

She is the only Spider I



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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:00:03 PM
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other...and when you stumble, ask your self, "What would the peas do?" That should give you a chuckle...because you know the answers will be across the board, around the world, over the sea and over rolling plains and contradictory, for the most part.

Before you know it, you will be back and not being here will just be a blurr, because you know it's like riding a bike...just jump back on and push the pedals.


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GiaRenee
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:02:38 PM
Thank you for sharing. Much love and prayers being sent.

AKathy
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:02:47 PM
Thank you for the update! I think of Lynn often and wonder how she's doing. I walked a similar path and I know how hard it is.

And this:

I've lost more friends, some relationships have gotten even stronger. I found out that apparently when your husband dies, you turn from a frumpy, overweight, out of shape person into a goddess with husband stealing capabilities overnight. Its highly entertaining if it weren't so sad. For those who wonder how to deal with widows, please understand we don't want your husbands. We want ours back. Yours cannot and does not compare to the one we lost and we don't have the energy for your husband, must less the energy to steal them If you truly think that a widow is going to steal your husband, you need to take a long look at your own self. /rant

really made me chuckle! I'll just add a big fat AMEN to it from another widow


***************************************


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valincal
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:04:12 PM
Please pass along my good wishes to Lynn.





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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:07:30 PM
I've been praying for Peace. I'm thankful that you can update us about Lynn and her family. And it's a good thing that she hsa such a great sister. I hope 2013 finds more up days than down.




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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:11:25 PM
THank you for posting the update - it was nice to hear how she is doing.

Hugs Spidey!


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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:12:12 PM
Lynn,
Thanks for the update. I wish you healing and to find peace.

Good luck with your move.




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lovetodigi
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:13:22 PM
Thank you for the update. I have often wondered how Lynn was doing, and I probably would have peamailed you if I had realized that you were her sister. I don't know how I missed knowing that. It sounds like you have been a true blessing for Lynn and her children. I know she appreciates having you as a sister.

Sending you a (((HUG))) Lynn. Healing takes time and it is not and easy journey, but each day brings you closer. Don't ever doubt your strength, you will make it through this. Take care of yourself and please keep us updated.




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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:14:14 PM
Thank you so much for this update. She's always on my mind. I almost posted a general "thinking of you" post last week but wasn't sure I should.



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can_i_pea_2?
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:16:28 PM
I missed that you were sisters, too! But she is so lucky to have you. Sounds like things are as good as can be expected. We do miss her, and I think about often, as well. I wish her lots of good luck and happiness in California.






tamhugh
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:19:20 PM
I also never made the family connection there.

Thank you for updating us. I am glad there have been little moments of brightness for them. I hope they are all being kind to themselves, because 6 months is really not much time. Prayers and good thoughts for their continued healing.

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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:24:21 PM
Thanks for sharing the update. Your sister is in my thoughts frequently!



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Restless Spirit
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:25:23 PM
Clee -

Thanks you for posting Lynn's update. I appreciate her sharing how she and her family is doing in this difficult time.


Lynn -

May you find peace and calm in the months ahead. My very best to you and your family.




Karen

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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:26:41 PM
Thanks for the update. I think about her often and wonder how she is.


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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:29:23 PM
I was just thinking about Spidey last week! SO glad to hear and update.

Call that damned insurance company and have them fix the house - you shouldn't have to deal with that too!



FrozenPea

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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:33:48 PM
Thanks for the update.


*~*~Kristin~*~*

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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:35:14 PM
Clee, thank you for posting the update and for being there for Lynn.

Lynn, continued prayers from me. So good to hear your update. I laughed about the widow/husband-stealer thing. It's sadly true that some people react like that, I'm so sorry.


~Mimi
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:38:45 PM
Thanks for the update.

And since Lynn will be reading:

Hi Lynn!

I think about you often and wonder how you are doing.


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MellyW
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:38:45 PM

Thank you for the update. Many of us keep Lynn & her kids in our thoughts.

Clee- Thanks for keeping that paragraph about you in the post. What a wonderful Sister you are, & it eases *my* mind to know Lynn has you.


Christine58
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:39:33 PM
May there be more pockets of sunshine and lots of rainbows. Thanks Clee for updating us. Please tell her that I think of her often.



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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:40:46 PM

We are managing for now. We have pockets of sunshine and I look forward to those the most.


Love this, thanks for the update!


*Debbie*


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peamac
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:54:47 PM

It has been hard to know "what is right" or "what is wrong" to do and I fear being the person who causes her major pain out of ignorance. BUT the alternative is NOT being there for her and I can't do that.


THere is no magic thing that is right or wrong- just being there and listening and hugging. Keep on being the great sister that you have been to her.

(((hugs))) and prayers for you all! Thanks for the update!


PeaMac


megmc
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:55:06 PM
Great Update!


MagentaPea
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Posted: 1/30/2013 2:59:36 PM
Another "thank you" for posting this update. I was thinking about her the other day and hoping the best for the family.

Lynn, I am amazed at the strength that you have shown in the past 6 months. Prayers for continued healing.

Lisa

mikklynn
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Posted: 1/30/2013 3:02:10 PM
Oh! Thank you so much for the update. I think of you often, SS. Sending you nothing but love as you heal.

I can't wait to have you back on the board. You are an inspiration to me.


Lynn



BuckeyeSandy
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Posted: 1/30/2013 3:06:34 PM

I've lost more friends, some relationships have gotten even stronger. I found out that apparently when your husband dies, you turn from a frumpy, overweight, out of shape person into a goddess with husband stealing capabilities overnight. Its highly entertaining if it weren't so sad. For those who wonder how to deal with widows, please understand we don't want your husbands. We want ours back. Yours cannot and does not compare to the one we lost and we don't have the energy for your husband, must less the energy to steal them If you truly think that a widow is going to steal your husband, you need to take a long look at your own self. /rant


I had forgotten that when I lost Mark... There were his friends, my friends, his from work and mine from work. Most of his friends, were already or became mine too. It was only the "his work friends" that disappeared. Maybe the difference between military and civilian LEO?

The first year is the worse, and there is no way through it but through it. My heart breaks reading your posting through your sister. Hug her close, she's a good sister and a great friend.

Do allow yourself to cry as you need to.

Heads-up: Taxes will break your heart, but get them done. I filled an extension because Mark died in February and I had no energy to do them, not even in August when I finally HAD TO DO THEM.

The following year (with nearly two months of his pay to file a return for) was equally bad.

Prayers that things will move forward and get better. ((hugs))


Sandy
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icedpea
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Posted: 1/30/2013 3:06:52 PM
I don't understand why she can't post any longer. This wasn't a criminal case. It would be so good for her to have the support and the break the peas offer. I wish you well SS. Maybe you could have an alias.

KristinL16
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Posted: 1/30/2013 3:07:31 PM
Thanks for the update. I had no idea you were sisters! I hope scrappinspidey can post again soon!


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Posted: 1/30/2013 3:09:05 PM
Thanks SO much for the update. It is weird, I was just thinking of Lynn yesterday and wondering how she was doing. I've been there myself but unfortunately, I didn't have close family that was there for me. I'm glad she has you.


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lucyg819
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Posted: 1/30/2013 3:25:36 PM
THANK YOU for the update. I've been wondering how Lynn and family were doing. I'm glad you've been such a great support to her.

To Lynn: I think about you a lot, and I know you're not trying to steal anyone's husband. I very much hope life looks up for you in the next six months and beyond.


LUCYG
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Posted: 1/30/2013 3:30:42 PM
I am sorry for her loss, especially for her children. How heartbreaking.

My best to Spidey and her Spiderlings.


----Theresa

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Posted: 1/30/2013 3:38:03 PM
I'm so glad you posted Lynn's update. If she ever needs an ear, I'm sure all of us on this thread would be willing to quietly listen *okay, read*....

((((hugs)))) to all of you!





MetalDancer
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Posted: 1/30/2013 3:41:55 PM

My best to Spidey and her Spiderlings.

I echo that - thank you for updating us all. I've been thinking about her and wondered how she was doing.
Please let her know we're thinking of her.


Lisa =^..^=

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gmcwife1
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Posted: 1/30/2013 3:50:55 PM
Thank you for the update!

We miss you Lynn and think of you often.



~ Dori ~

Quokka
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Posted: 1/30/2013 4:00:49 PM
Thanks for the update, just keep trucking.

Gilly.



hopncrop
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Posted: 1/30/2013 4:33:44 PM
It was so nice to read the update. Thank you! I, too, think of Lynn often and hope you, Lynn,
are able to come back soon. God Bless you and your family.




simplekelly
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Posted: 1/30/2013 4:43:21 PM

The boy was accepted into ASU for the fall semester. I am so proud of him. He finishes his airplane mechanics course this summer and then into his engineering degree in the fall. He will be staying at the dorms
*everytime* I read this, I get chills! That is so awesome. I know that you and your husband were really struggling with him and his attitude and to hear how is is growing up and maturing is very cool. The reason for the quick grow-up sucks something fierce. I'm so happy that he has risen to the experience.

Many hugs to you and your kids. I think of you often and am glad that things are coming along for you and your daughter and that her grades are slowly starting to improve. That's really wonderful.


and when you stumble, ask your self, "What would the peas do?" That should give you a chuckle..
and as to this...haha...just remember that the peas would give you an answer so that you'd just simply KNOW that there is no one RIGHT answer...just a right answer for YOU!

Can't you go to a library and make an "alternate ID"?



best,


**Live your dreams, not your fears**

Donna in GA
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Posted: 1/30/2013 5:03:14 PM
Thank you so much for the update! I have been thinking of them especially over the holidays.

I hope the pockets of sunshine get bigger and bigger.

*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)

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Posted: 1/30/2013 5:34:07 PM
I'm so glad you posted an update. I think of your sister often.


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AncestralPea

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Posted: 1/30/2013 6:16:50 PM
Hope each day is better than the last for Lynn and her children.

*Leanne*
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Posted: 1/30/2013 6:25:56 PM
Thanks so much for the update ... let her know that the Peas are thinking of her

Leanne



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Posted: 1/30/2013 6:30:22 PM
Thank you so much for the update. Count me as another one who didn't realize y'all were sisters! What a nice surprise.

Lynn, I think of you often, and always hope things are improving for you and the kids. Nice to hear your son is going off to college and is excited about that. I think the move will be good for you and your DD.
Please keep us posted as to what is happening in your life.

Nantini
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Posted: 1/30/2013 7:25:58 PM
I've been thinking about her since her last post. I'm so glad things seem to be getting somewhat better. Although she probably won't agree, she seems to be a very strong person in dealing with all of this.

Big (((hugs))) Spidey.
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