Boy, this is going to be interesting.
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 2/1/2013 by CreativeEngineer in NSBR Board
 

CreativeEngineer
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:33:36 PM
SORRY! Board burp. Here it is.

So I just had another one of those "I need more help in the evening" conversations with DH. He keeps nagging me that I should "make" the middle schooler do more math/flute/homework/etc. so I told him that maybe he could do it as I'm busy with dinner, running to activities, etc. Now, he gets home from work at 6 pm and then exercises for an hour and a half. DS has TKD 4 days a week and DH drives maybe 2 of the eight trips (4 drop off, 4 pick up).

DH does drop the kids off at daycare 3 days a week in the am. I work from home the other 2 days a week and handle it. And his idea of getting the kids ready is to yell out of our bedroom "Eat breakfast, get dressed and brush your teeth and hair. Be in the car in 5 minutes!" I pack lunches with the kids the night before. I make sure HW is in the backpack after dinner. I hang up clothes in outfits when I do the laundry so they can grab matching clothes on one hanger. And they are 7 and 10 so don't need much help getting dressed.

So he says how about we switch? I'll drop off at daycare and he'll take the earlier shift. He was a little surprised when I agreed. But then I reminded him that he has to be home at 2 pm on Mondays for early release day and 4:15 pm the other days for flute on Weds, TKD on Thursday and Daisies on Fridays. Then I gushed over the fact that he'd be doing the homework and cooking.

Suddenly, now he has to "think about it". Anyone wanna bet how this turns out????





megmc
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:36:27 PM
I just don't know how to respond.

scoobers
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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:37:49 PM
Shocking!



TheBiscuitScraps
Bubbie is my most prized title.

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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:38:39 PM
That about sums it up!


Carol
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Laurel Jean
generic pea

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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:43:08 PM
I got nothin'.

Burning Feather
I conceived but I can't see you

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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:43:55 PM
I didn't see it coming. Or going.


Carla

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knit.pea
. cheeky cousin .

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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:47:53 PM
But that just makes it more confusing

momof1child
BucketHead

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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:48:17 PM
WOW. just WOW

Restless Spirit
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:52:31 PM
Well, maybe to *you* but not to me. Been there, done that.

CreativeEngineer
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:53:05 PM
SORRY!!! Board burp. Text in the second post.





Designing
PeaFixture

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Posted: 2/1/2013 5:57:11 PM
Crap! I posted on the wrong one! LOL Figures. All I said was Go you!


"The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other peoples money." Margaret Thatcher

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TankTop
I teach, therefore I am a teacher

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Posted: 2/1/2013 6:22:01 PM
Lol...sounds like my house.

Two weeks ago I made the kids my priority. If they need me they get me. No more cooking and helping with homework at the same time.

Dh hates that dinner is never ready any longer, but he will get over it or cook. Until then I answer... Cereal...every single time he asks what we are having for dinner.


"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome." Hope Floats


Laurel Jean
generic pea

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Posted: 2/1/2013 8:29:33 PM
A reality check for the mister is always a good thing.

Why is it that they think when we're at home we're relaxing and not working? A mystery I just can't figure out.

TXDancermom
AncestralPea

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Posted: 2/1/2013 8:54:28 PM
My dh finally figured out how hard it was to manage 2 kids, with day care/activities/homework when I had to travel for business. He flat out told me when I got home he didn't realize it was so much work and all that I did.....

I don't hold out hope that yours will try if you are around.....

Mary Kay Lady
I'm thinking . . .

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Posted: 2/1/2013 9:00:22 PM

PLEASE come back and update us and let us know how this works out. I can't wait to find out if it works or not.

Eddie-n-Harley
PeaAddict

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Posted: 2/1/2013 9:11:06 PM
Digression: He exercises for an HOUR AND A HALF?

Man, I think I'm doing well when I can find thirty minutes and I don't have any kids.

ScrampingMomof3
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Posted: 2/1/2013 10:02:52 PM
Can DH switch exercising to mornings?

Mine goes to Crossfit around 5:30 am, and then comes home to shower before work.

When we were first married, he continued his post-work workout routine. Once we became parents, he changed his schedule to workout in the mornings so he could be at home to help and see the kids more than an hour before they went to sleep.


CreativeEngineer
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 2/1/2013 10:40:48 PM
Of course he COULD. But DH is not what you'd call a morning person.

Is it evil of me to be laughing already thinking about him hauling he cookies out of bed everyday befor 5 am?????






doesitmatter?
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 2/2/2013 1:52:56 AM
I saw whatever works, but I'll be honest that I don't feel you are already doing a great deal more than him. You each have different responsibilities - apples to oranges. If you want to switch - go for it, but try to make it seamless so kids don't take the brunt of way may get missed in the confusion.


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shescrafty2
PeaFixture

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Posted: 2/2/2013 7:31:11 AM
What would maybe help
Is for the two I you to sit down and go through what needs to be done realistically for the kids an make a plan that will work
For both of you. I was a SAHM for the past 5 years and did it all. This past year I started subbing and have been working 3-4 days a week. I have asked my DH to be home earlier (he has a flexible schedule at work) but it was not until he was home early one day and I left that he realized that having another person here makes a difference.

Good luck to you!


********************************************************
your true character is shown not by how you treat people you agree with, but how you treat those you don't


Scrappin Bunny
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Posted: 2/2/2013 8:44:06 AM
A similar situation happened with my DH a year or so ago. He keeps the checkbook-I did something that annoyed him, I don't remember what, and he had a big blowup and said I could just handle all the checkbook=related duties. I came back with, "and you'll take care of all the things I do." He still does the checkbook; I still do my stuff. Big surprise, there. But I'm fine with it.

I am sure he'll change his mind, try to get him to at least give it a shot. It will be good for both of you to see what the other person is doing; you/he will probably each learn something.

MergeLeft
Typical Liberal

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Posted: 2/2/2013 8:52:35 AM
Oh yeah, mine always has time for a long run but housework? No time. Just drives me nuts. I tell him that I don't have time to exercise because I'm picking up his slack while he goes on all those long runs.



CreativeEngineer
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 2/2/2013 11:18:52 AM
He has decided that he doesn't want to switch. Big surprise!

I know exactly what he does. I do it AND what I do when he's out of town. Yes, he helps quite a bit. I wasn't complaining about that. I was frustrated because he keeps wanting to add more to the evenings without doing any of it. Which means *I* have to do it. If he wants to add an hour of supervised math for DD in the evenings, I feel he should be willing to do the supervising half of the time.

He knew he was wrong. He came home with chocolate for me last night.





**Angie**
Pea Who Should Be Cleaning!

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Posted: 2/2/2013 11:26:25 AM
lol

When you read the thread after your actual post was added, it's funny how many responses fit.





fredfreddy
Alex can't believe I still have this

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Posted: 2/2/2013 11:48:02 AM

And his idea of getting the kids ready is to yell out of our bedroom "Eat breakfast, get dressed and brush your teeth and hair. Be in the car in 5 minutes!"


This my dh's attitude. Alex has switched from 1030 am to 9am Saturday gymnastics. I asked dh to please take him today because I wanted to sleep. I told him to make sure he ate breakfast and put on his gym clothes. They are leaving as I get up and Alex's hair is a mess. "Did he brush his teeth and hair?" Dh's response? "you only told me to make sure he ate breakfast and got dressed."

Seriously?

Please tell us if he eventually takes the offer.


Alana

it rhymes with banana

mom to a 21 yo dd, 14 yo ds, and 11 yo ds and a scrapper for 13 years
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