PLEASE I need help / tips for building self esteem for teen DD

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Posted 2/2/2013 by peainmominca in NSBR Board

Stuck In The Bucket

PeaNut 286,523
December 2006
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Posted: 2/2/2013 12:30:11 AM
DD seems down on herself... Not pretty enough, good enough. Part of the problem is the guy she likes isn't interested in her. How can I help her build confidence?
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PeaNut 576,169
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Posted: 2/2/2013 12:40:20 AM
Aside from telling her that she is smart, pretty, etc. you could help her think of things she wants to do/is good at. Volunteering, playing an instrument, playing a sport, getting a leadership position in a club, etc. are all things that can help her build confidence and feel good about herself. Lots of hospitals, animal shelters and charitable organizations have programs for teen volunteers or allow teens to volunteer, and it's a good way to feel good about yourself while helping others.

If there is something specific she wants to change about herself, help her do that if you can. If her self-esteem stays low for a while and/or is too tied in to what a boy thinks, consider having her see a counselor to help her figure out how she can become more comfortable with herself. If this is a new/temporary thing, she will probably start to feel better about herself if she finds something to focus on that makes her feel good.

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FLA SummerBaby

PeaNut 290,599
January 2007
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Posted: 2/2/2013 1:11:24 PM
Teen years are so hard (in many ways) on our kids and on moms. I have an almost 17 yo DD and the main thing I do is to remind her constantly of her value. How smart, talented, sensitive, creative and awesome she is. I encourage her to try lots of different activities and stick with those that she enjoys and are meaningful to her. She knows that I am her #1 supporter and she can approach me about anything.

Hang in there.

~~ Lisa ~~

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 268,201
July 2006
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Posted: 2/2/2013 1:58:46 PM
I think it's important as parents to find at least ONE thing that our children enjoy and can be "good" at. In this case, "good" means better than many/most of their peers. it could be a sport, knitting, fixing hair, sewing, an academic subject, speaking another language, training a dog, voluteering, photography.. - just something.

Having that one little thing that you KNOW you "excell" at can go a very long way to encouraging you when you are feeling down on yourself.


PeaNut 18,334
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Posted: 2/2/2013 2:11:08 PM
Part of the problem is the guy she likes isn't interested in her.

Try to help her understand that his lack of interest is not related to her value. There is probably a guy who likes her but she isn't interested in for whatever reason. That doesn't make her wrong for not liking him and it doesn't mean he is bad. It just isn't a chemistry that is there.

She can't spend her life defining herself and her value by other people's interest in her.

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