driven to distraction by my FIL's impending visit
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 2/4/2013 by Jenny Lilac in NSBR Board
 

Jenny Lilac
For Esme with Love and Squalor

PeaNut 45,964
August 2002
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Posted: 2/4/2013 10:40:57 PM
My father-in-law moved to Utah several years ago and has been rarely heard from since. Earlier this month he suddenly started calling and emailing. Apparently he's had an epiphany that he wants his family back in his life, and he might even move back to the East Coast. I know that he was not big on me marrying his son 13 years ago, but in the last few weeks we've become all but best friends via email. He's coming out for an initial visit starting Wednesday, and I;m just really, really sweating it.



SMG in AZ
Je suis desole

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Posted: 2/4/2013 10:42:34 PM
Maybe he heard a rumor about your recent lottery jackpot.

Seriously, hope it works out and his epiphany is genuine.




Suzy

SherryD
PeaNut

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Posted: 2/4/2013 11:15:01 PM
There may be something wrong with him physically and he would like to make things right... I'd embrace it ... Just listen to him..
Good luck & please give us an update....

Mary Kay Lady
I'm thinking . . .

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Posted: 2/5/2013 2:17:15 AM

Will he be staying in your home or at a hotel? How long will he be staying?


gar
Whoopea!

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Posted: 2/5/2013 3:04:50 AM

Will he be staying in your home or at a hotel? How long will he be staying?




You read my mind

I hope it's a short initial visit and that it goes well! Good luck



"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

Stephen Roberts


Shih Tzu Mommy
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Posted: 2/5/2013 3:53:40 AM

My father-in-law moved to Utah several years ago and has been rarely heard from since. Earlier this month he suddenly started calling and emailing. Apparently he's had an epiphany that he wants his family back in his life, and he might even move back to the East Coast. I know that he was not big on me marrying his son 13 years ago, but in the last few weeks we've become all but best friends via email. He's coming out for an initial visit starting Wednesday, and I;m just really, really sweating it.

But do you want a relationship with HIM? He basically shut you and his son out for years and now he wants to rejoin your lives. But you do not need to do that if you do not want to. And I mean you and your husband.



Dog people are a special breed!

2peafaithful
People not perfection

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Posted: 2/5/2013 4:38:03 AM
Relationship brings opportunity. Maybe it should read relationship needs opportunity. Where is your dh at on things? Do overs are gracious. Happy endings and stories of redemption are beautiful. They might come at a cost but also might deliver something that is priceless. Nerves would be normal but if you both have mostly peace than move forward. It might be something you will be so glad happened or maybe not. I know in life I want to know I tried. I want to be willing if possible. I think so many things die because people are unwilling. It won't be perfection and might have some bumps but it could end up being a beautiful gift. Regret is a hard thing to live with. Trying doesn't mean committing forever it says I will be willing. Love wins. It is gracious, honoring and loving for you all to be open to him. That is something at the end of my life I want to know I gave. Unless there is really unhealthy things about him and things you didn't share. Even if that was the case that may not be where he is now. Grace allows people to change. It doesn't mean we toss boundaries to the curb. We still need them and they build safety into the relationship. I hope it goes well.


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Jenny Lilac
For Esme with Love and Squalor

PeaNut 45,964
August 2002
Posts: 11,736
Layouts: 280
Loc: Pioneer Valley, Massachusetts

Posted: 2/5/2013 4:30:51 PM
His health is good (I asked) and he arrives tomorrow for 5 nights. We do believe in second chances and the fullness of time. DH is very excited on one hand but nervous on the other. There was no big falling out, just a drifting apart. He remembers his dad as judgmental and he does not want to be judged and/or lectured. Just hoping the whole visit goes smoothly.


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