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PEAce sign
i'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious.
PeaNut 274,722
August 2006
Posts: 12,903
Layouts: 0
Loc: OH-IO!
 |  Posted: 2/8/2013 9:47:05 AM
for those of us "real" parents with more than one kid...
(*ducking* just kidding...see the other thread)
do you do a friend party every year? do you combine? is there a rule or is it just based on your disposable income for that year?
my kids are a month apart and not only does it get expensive, it's difficult to plan for a summer party since it's hard to find kids from school. the youngest, he's still making friends and we're still getting to know some of the families in his class. not only that, it can be BUSY with them so close together.
this year i think i will combine and do a game truck, since DS8 has more friends than DS7, and DS7 knows most of DS8s friends. i can't see combining them always, and i can't see paying for two separate parties each year either.
so i thought i'd see if you have a guideline or rule for your kids.
EDITED TO CLARIFY: i guess i don't mean 'friend' party, so much as an outing or large group birthday party. like last year, we had the party at the skating rink. this year i'm thinking of renting the video game truck. but eventually that gets expensive.
so do you do a BIG group party every year?
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swissscrapper
BucketHead
PeaNut 23,192
October 2001
Posts: 627
Layouts: 0
Loc: Switzerland
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 9:57:55 AM
I think you have to do what works best for you and your kids. Having said that, in our family we have 4 children's birthdays, plus my own in a 6 week span. All the kids get their own friend birthday party every year. And I go all out, but make a lot of the stuff myself throughout the year, so it doesn't get so crazy expensive. I think I spend about $60-80 per party, including favors and stuff.
Two of my kids also have birthdays in the summer, and I ask them how they would like to do it. Most years my daughter would rather have her friend party a couple weeks early, before school lets out. My son often chooses to have less kids attend but still have the party on his actual birthday. Although last year he did opt to have it early as well.
I figure they only want friend parties for such a short time, relatively speaking. I can suck it up and make it special for them while it still means so much.
Amy |
Mom to Nick, Sarah, Sophie, Noah, and Alexandra
Wife to Chris | |
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momof1child
BucketHead
PeaNut 542,144
February 2012
Posts: 850
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 10:02:44 AM
When my children were little, I did a party every other year for them.
Son would have party in 2012
DD would have party in 2013
Son would have party again in 2014
DD would have party in 2015 and so on......
Why not do a 1/2 year party? That way school will be in session and their friends would be able to come. | |
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pheestand
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 6,487
September 2000
Posts: 5,028
Layouts: 16
Loc: Livonia, MI USA
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 10:05:04 AM
Probably not going to be much help, but we did combined birthdays when they were 5, 6 and 7 for family and friends, 8 yrs old we took both DH's family and my family to Disney so there were no friend party. 9 yrs old they each invited one friend to the house for the day- they baked and decorated their own birthday cake, I took them to the pottery place to make an item, then to a movie. At 10, we were dealing with FIL's funeral so their birthday kinda got lost, although they were really happy we spent the week at Disney before he really got too sick.
At 11, my daughter had a sleepover, my son just wanted to take one special friend to the movies and go to dinner. For 12, we were visiting family in Ohio so there weren't any friends.
When they hit 13, their DH turned 50 so we went all out and rented a suite at the hockey arena for a NHL game. Valet parking, fully catered dinner, fancy-dancy cake, private box for 20 people, lots of goodies from the NHL (autographed jerseys and pucks), names on the jumbotron, etc. The twin's birthday is a week after DH's so we combined them. Each kid brought a friend, and the rest were friends of the family or coworkers who have worked with DH for the last 27 years. An absolute blast! Would absolutely LOVE to do this again when they turn 16... got to start saving now though...
So, it has been pretty much "friend" birthdays, but not always with a group of friends at a venue. They seem to enjoy the one-on-one time with just a special BFF, as much if not more than a crowd. | |
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melissa
O-pea-gyn
PeaNut 4
February 1999
Posts: 14,681
Layouts: 228
Loc: NJ
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 10:08:03 AM
Well, since I am not a real mom (one kid), you can ignore my post. 
We did every 2-3 years for a friend party. She had them at age 5, 7, 9, 12 and 13. At 13, it was just a small sleepover for 4. She usually had too many friends to get away with a small party or gathering. She's not one to leave anyone out, so less frequent parties was our solution. |
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*Leanne*
As a matter of fact, I am a Tudor princess!
PeaNut 34,268
March 2002
Posts: 12,878
Layouts: 0
Loc: Calgary, Alberta
| Posted: 2/8/2013 10:11:49 AM
I have two dd's, now ages 9 and almost 14, and we do friend parties every year ...
Leanne |
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pretzels
AncestralPea
PeaNut 479,777
August 2010
Posts: 4,433
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 10:16:19 AM
We do a friend party every year.
DS's birthday is in the middle of July. ILs have an in-ground pool and have graciously offered it for his party every year since they had it put it. Easy-peasy, really. We pay for invitations, and do hot dogs and cake beside the pool. They have an extra bathroom in the garage, so no one has to go in their house. Afterward, DS usually has a few friends spend the night.
DD's birthday is NYE, so we celebrate as a family that day, and put her party off for a few weeks to give everyone a chance to recover from Christmas. She has her birthday party at the skating rink. She wants a swimming party like her brother, but our weather is so unpredictable in January! We do pizza and cake and everyone skates for two hours.
I don't do favors anymore, and I don't worry about decorations too much. Everyone has lots of fun and it really isn't that expensive. We spend maybe $250 on each party.
ETA that DS will be 14 this year, and DD just turned 11. | |
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little mama
Squirrel!
PeaNut 51,555
October 2002
Posts: 7,135
Layouts: 0
Loc: Clinton Township, MI
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 10:34:21 AM
Well, I'm not a "real" mom (LOL) but we let ds have a party every year until he was 10, then one at 13, and his next will be at 16. Some parties are more expensive than others, so it wasnt always insanely expensive. With your ds' so close in age, I think I would try to combine most years, allowing each to invite an equal number of guests (but again, I am not a "real" mom)
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Marianne,
Wife of 16 years to the best hubby ever, and mama for 14 years to the greatest son a mom could ask for! | |
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ca angel
PeaAddict
PeaNut 400,602
November 2008
Posts: 1,513
Layouts: 16
Loc: So Cal
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 10:38:57 AM
My ds is turning 6 this year and it will be the first year that he won't be having a party. We are taking him to Legoland instead. Last year we had a big friend party and hired a firetruck to come. They all got to take rides do firefighter stuff.
My dd's bday is a month before ds and it is a very busy time. She will be having a big friend party, but it will just be at the park. She already knows she wants a Hello Kitty party so I'm working on gathering inexpensive party favors and other supplies.
I'm thinking of doing just one party a year (kids taking turns) but i don't know. I do love to plan their parties!
ca angel | |
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PEArfect
AncestralPea
PeaNut 452,048
January 2010
Posts: 4,464
Layouts: 0
Loc: Indiana
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 10:43:43 AM
All three of my dd's have both a friend party and a family party every year. The family party is just having family over for cake and icecream. The friend party is up to them. I give them a few choices. Most of the time they choose to have a sleepover, minimal 'party' costs. If they choose to do something expensive with their friends we spend a little less on their birthday gift.
Last year my 13yo just wanted to have a few friends stay over. I did sort of a rainbow theme with her decorations and snack foods. My 11yo also chose to have a few friends stay over. She wanted an art theme. They painted and made crafts. My 5yo had her first friend birthday party. Her theme was LaLaLoopsy.
This year my 5yo wants to have a carnival themed birthday. We're going to rent a bounce house and have carnival type games out in the yard. My older two dd's haven't mentioned what they would like to do yet. I like to know so I can plan ahead a bit. I'm saving jars and cans right now for the carnival games. 
My youngest dd is the only one with a summer birthday, so we'll send her birthday invites out the last week of school. Her birthday is less then two weeks after the last day of school. |
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Peabay
Happy now?
PeaNut 156,993
July 2004
Posts: 44,634
Layouts: 13
Loc: Connecticut
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 10:47:37 AM
We've done very few large group parties over the years. I think each girl has had maybe 3 or 4. They seem to prefer picking their favorite restaurant and taking one or two friends with us out to dinner and then home for cake. |
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moveablefeast
do justice, love mercy
PeaNut 265,707
June 2006
Posts: 11,116
Layouts: 0
Loc: Northern Virginia
| Posted: 2/8/2013 10:48:01 AM
We decided on big parties in milestone years.
Big party for 5, 10, 13, 16. Smaller parties with a few friends and family in the other years.
If we can swing big parties in other years, we might do it. We couldn't last year, we could (and did) this year.
If she doesn't want a big party in any of the coming years, then we'll do what she wants to do. | |
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batya
Making the WWW better, one post at a time.
PeaNut 59,094
December 2002
Posts: 31,794
Layouts: 24
Loc: up on my high horse
| Posted: 2/8/2013 10:49:41 AM
Nope. Not every year. Though most in my circle most certainly do it every year and 20 kids each time at places that I know cost at min $600 b/c I priced them when I was looking around. Hence, nope. Not every year. And not at those places. |
OK. Newbie. This is how it works. If your post consists of 80% sanity, 10% stupidity and 10% all kinds of crazy, we immediately focus on the 20% b/c it discredits the 80%.
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Luvnlifelady
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 289,166
December 2006
Posts: 17,315
Layouts: 7
Loc: Southern California
| Posted: 2/8/2013 11:08:38 AM
Probably under age 10, I let my kids do one every year. They are now almost 16 and almost 13.
After about that age, more often than not, we just took them and a BFF somewhere really special. One time, at age 11, DD went to the American Girl doll store with a friend, had lunch, and got a doll.
At 13, we rented Segways for her and one friend and we were able to take them off on our own. Way fun!
One time, DS went with a friend and hit the local arcades.
This year, we have two milestone birthdays (13 and 16), so we'll to see what we come up with.
Oh yah, at 12, DS did have a laser tag party/lunch with a group. That was fun too.
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peasful1
Needs a New Pea Title
PeaNut 44,870
August 2002
Posts: 14,166
Layouts: 1
Loc: Valley of the Sun
| Posted: 2/8/2013 11:12:04 AM
My boys are one day apart. We do separate events. |
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"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself." -- Wayne Dyer
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prairie sentinel
PeaAddict
PeaNut 57,182
November 2002
Posts: 1,486
Layouts: 0
Loc: Alberta
| Posted: 2/8/2013 11:33:51 AM
Our families live 7-9 hours away, so every birthday party has been a 'friend' one!
My kids are a dd14, ds10 and ds9 and they have each had a party every year, never combined with a sibling. (My sister and I have birthdays a week apart and never had to share a birthday either. My aunt has a Dec 28 birthday and has been bitter her whole life about having to 'share' with Christmas, lol) The size of the party varies, depending on what the child wants each year.
This year, my ds9 invited 7 friends and I took them swimming, for lunch at McD's and to a movie.
Dd had her birthday in my dh's corporate suite at a hockey game and got to invite 5 friends.
Ds10 will have his birthday in April and has already decided to have his third annual road hockey extravaganza (we block our crescent and the boys play all afternoon--our neighbours even come out to cheer them on) and will be able to invite enough guys to make two teams, so about a dozen to twenty kids. That party is my favourite--the biggest but the cheapest and the one that the kids at school talk about all year. Ds even has the tin-foil and margarine container trophy that I made for the first annual event when I couldn't find a 'real' trophy to use on short notice
eta: some spaces for easier reading! | |
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SDeven
Love Letters Pea
PeaNut 65,852
January 2003
Posts: 28,195
Layouts: 380
Loc: Nashville, TN!
| Posted: 2/8/2013 11:59:46 AM
How often? For us, never.
For us, birthdays are a family event. We have a group of four families that we are close to--we get together at one of our homes once a month and celebrate whomever has a birthday in that month. We have a meal, cake and ice cream...it's excellent. |
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dcasta
PeaAddict
PeaNut 260,782
May 2006
Posts: 1,002
Layouts: 0
Loc: Texas
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 1:16:46 PM
I have 4 sons and we only did 2 big parties when they were growing up. One reason was I had nobody to help. One party we had around 70 people and my sisters were sitting down like there was nothing to do. I was running around like a looney trying to serve brisket plates to everyone until my cousins got up to help.
Then 3 of them have birthdays within 6 weeks ad I did not want to invite the same people for 3 parties in 6 weeks. I didn't want to be the one they had to hide from when they knew I would be having party after party. My aunts and cousins did always ask if I was having something so we would do a small family bbq and cake.
Now my son's wife makes parties every year. The 2 girls are 3 days apart so she combines them. I personally hate to invite people to a double bday party(unless they are twins). I have mentioned doing one party every other year for each. She favors the oldest so she will not have her missing her yearly party. Whatever. |
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Tishy
L&O CI watchin' Pea
PeaNut 51,488
October 2002
Posts: 13,684
Layouts: 0
Loc: Feelin' more like home all the time!
| Posted: 2/8/2013 1:24:01 PM
Even with one child it gets expensive. We dont do the large group thing yearly. We did this year at the skating rink with 15 kids, last year it was a sleep over with 2 friends. We have done big maybe 3 times in 12 years. We did Disney a lot when she was not yet in school. |
Since there is no spell check, there will be spelling errors! LOL
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Miss Lerins Momma
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 151,660
June 2004
Posts: 13,082
Layouts: 38
Loc: KY
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frostybuns
PeaFixture
PeaNut 13,660
April 2001
Posts: 3,155
Layouts: 5
Loc: PNW
| Posted: 2/8/2013 3:01:39 PM
I have 4 kids and they all get a big friend party every other year. Mine all have birthdays within 6 weeks of each other so it is total chaos and I could never handle a party every year for all of them. On the off years they can choose to do a bigger activity with the family OR something smaller with a couple friends. It works out well for our family. |
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benem
Yo, that's fifty dollars for a T-shirt.
PeaNut 526,154
October 2011
Posts: 5,476
Layouts: 0
Loc: Illinois
| Posted: 2/8/2013 3:11:34 PM
I love Stacy Julian's solution, since she has FIVE kids.
She alternates years. One year, kid gets a party. The next year, kid gets a one on one "date" day or evening alone with mom or dad, kid's choice.
So every year she is only doing parties for 2-3 of her kids, no all of them. Always thought that was a great solution.
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"We are NSBR. We talk about E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
Diva Cups Merkins Tub Girl Crock Pots Kitten Heels The Hoff HOF Obama Bush Kardashians Shopping Carts Shopping Trolleys Dead Aunt Cookies Trolls Not Trolls Garden Snakes Snails Stripper Poles with or with out Birds In-Laws Scoff-Laws Blogs Borg Paint Colors Dinner Books and Each Other"
--SueSume, 3/21/13
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Tuva42
PeaFixture
PeaNut 41,763
July 2002
Posts: 3,554
Layouts: 17
Loc: Somewhere in the middle...
| Posted: 2/8/2013 3:36:13 PM
We did friend parties every year for my 2 girls up until they were 13 or so. We always did them at home and we always did just friends, not kids from school that she didn't hang out with otherwise. We usually had 8-12 kids. But we did it at home, and I made up most of the crafts, did simple food, etc. So it wasn't expensive. Mostly the kids just wanted to be together playing games, they didn't care about goodie bags or expensive food. |
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*Delphinium Twinkle*
I'm just a pea:)
PeaNut 163,613
August 2004
Posts: 68,082
Layouts: 236
Loc: *Sunny Southern California*
| Posted: 2/8/2013 8:22:43 PM
I did huge friend parties for DD every year.
DS doesn't prefer huge parties so we dont have them for him, although last year we had 35 for a st Paddys day murder mystery party.
I love doing big parties  |
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freecharlie
Is the pool open yet?
PeaNut 109,127
September 2003
Posts: 19,237
Layouts: 4
Loc: Colorado
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 8:30:43 PM
I allow both children to have friend birthdays. One is in June (11) and the younger is in July (he's 8). We do do a joint large family BBQ each year that has between 30 and 40 relatives instead of two separate ones. |
| Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you | |
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scrap-up
PeaNut
PeaNut 16,299
June 2001
Posts: 264
Layouts: 2
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
| Posted: 2/8/2013 8:47:56 PM
DS and DD#2 both have late August birthdays ( they are two years and two days apart). We do friend birthday parties every other year. This is the year for it, they will be 10 and 8. Two years ago we had both on the same day, at the same time. We rented bounce houses and an obstacle course for the yard. We did the gift opening and cake separate. DS and his friends played while DD and her friends gathered to open gifts and vice versa.
On the "off" year we do much smaller scale with family and close friends. It usually is just a cookout and cake. Or we do something fun on the weekend, like a water park with one friend.
This year we will probably do separate parties. |
Julie
Mom to a Peanut, a Slugger, and a Boo. | |
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yungmom
Just Me
PeaNut 15,437
May 2001
Posts: 28,629
Layouts: 111
Loc: Salt Lake
| Posted: 2/8/2013 9:07:55 PM
I really only do friend parties if they ask for one. When they are younger they usually ask about every other year. When they get older they ask less.
Have never had an outing for a friend party. We're pretty simple here. The kids have fun so I don't see any need of paying lots of money. |
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busypea
boring + nerdy
PeaNut 52,817
October 2002
Posts: 25,146
Layouts: 145
Loc: Oregon
| Posted: 2/8/2013 9:24:25 PM
So far, we have done a friend party each year, and we plan to continue that, but DS is only 5 (well, turning 5 next month), so who knows what will happen. I can definitely see how things would get more expensive as they get older. I think it would be just fine for each kid to have a party every other year, so there's only one party a year. Maybe the one who doesn't get a party that year gets a special dinner out with family or something for their birthday? Something fun and special to acknowledge their birthday but not nearly as expensive as a party.
Though most in my circle most certainly do it every year and 20 kids each time at places that I know cost at min $600 b/c I priced them when I was looking around.
That is freakin' nuts!!!
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