Oh For Peas Sake
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:00:14 PM|
I am pretty shocked. I planned on cremation my grandma but they said they have to put a notice in the paper for the next of kin to respond. They have 30 days to respond. THEN she can be cremated by someone else. Make sure it's in your will if you want someone else to handle it. Even though my uncles never visited my grandma at all. Even though I am the executor of her will. Even though I took care of her for 6 years before placing her in an assisted living place. I couldn't even cremate her. I have to wait for my uncles to decide and if they don't after 30 days I can!
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:01:22 PM|
This is clearly a local or state law, it is not like that here.
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:05:07 PM|
That does make sense to me if it's not in writing on legal papers for her to be cremated, or you are not her POA (or whatever title they give to the non next of kin to make these decisions).
ETA:I have never heard of it, but it does make sense to me.
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:06:15 PM|
I'm sorry that this will cause you more pain, I hope after the 30 days, you can have your closure.
Loc: Southern, CA
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:07:41 PM|
in CA you have to have a Medical Power of Attorney to be able to do it. OR either the surviving spouse or all of the surviving children have to sign. We cremated my mom 2 years ago and that Medical Power of Attorney was the only reason I was able to get it done right away.
Oh For Peas Sake
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:10:30 PM|
I am in Arizona. The crazy thing is I AM her power of attorney, medical power of attorney, executor of her will. NONE of that mattered to them. It's just prolonging the grief.
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:14:51 PM|
That's insane and I'm sorry it's happening. We had both my dad and grandmother cremated (obviously at separate times) with no issues. I'm betting it's a state law.
Loc: Northern Florida
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:17:03 PM|
I'm so sorry.
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:17:38 PM|
Assemble the forms that your uncles would need to sign to transfer over the burial rights. Then either show up at their homes or offices or send them by courier. If you mail it, provide return postage.
Loc: Eastern Shores of Mobile Bay
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:33:36 PM|
My dear friend ran into that problem when her Mom died. Even though she had POA and was the Trustee of the estate, she had to have all siblings sign off. One refused to sign off saying their Mom would never have wanted that ( even though she told the entire family that's what she wanted.
She is also in Arizona-real pain in the you know what.
Don't wait the 30 days- get those forms to your uncles ASAP so you can get on with dealing with your grief.
Mary Kay Lady
I'm thinking . . .
Loc: The state of Confusion!
|Posted: 2/8/2013 12:33:59 PM|
I've never hear of that. What state do you live in?
Somehow it just doesn't seem right. So if your uncles object to the creamation she has to be buried? Would they (uncles) have to pay for the additional costs?
|Posted: 2/8/2013 6:32:05 PM|
Is it because you are not her immediate next of kin?
Or is it because her will, POA, and all the other forms do not have a section giving you the legal authority to authorize the cremation?
That is what the problem is. Your other duties etc. do not automatically give you that authority.
Arizona - Yes, Designated Agent and Personal Preference Law
The state has a personal preference law in Arizona Statute Title 32-1365.01 that gives you the right to authorize your own cremation or disposition in writing. The law clearly states that no one else's consent - not your spouse's, not your childrens' - is required. It seems likely lawmakers weren't aware of this conflict, which is unfortunate, since it may prove confusing for families and for funeral directors.
Arizona also allows citizens to designate an agent to have the authority to make funeral and burial arrangements within the form for a durable healthcare power of attorney. You can find this right in statute 36-3221. But other sections of the law contain confusing and conflicting language that makes it unclear whether the person you designate to carry out your wishes has the highest authority, or whether a surviving spouse does:
36-831. Burial duties; notification requirements; failure to perform duty; definitions
A. Except as provided pursuant to subsection H of this section, the duty of burying the body of or providing other funeral and disposition arrangements for a dead person devolves in the following order:
1. If the dead person was married, on the surviving spouse. Unless:
(a) The dead person was legally separated from the person's spouse.
( b ) A petition for divorce or for legal separation from the dead person's spouse was filed before the person's death and remains pending at the time of death.
2. The person who is designated as having power of attorney for the decedent in the decedent's most recent durable power of attorney.
This seems to conflict with rights that already exist in Arizona law.
So What Should You Do?
Your right to authorize your own body disposition still exists in state law. We're fairly sure the courts would uphold a written document declaring your wishes, including a durable healthcare power of attorney that describes your wishes and names an agent to carry them out, even if that person is not your spouse.
|Posted: 2/8/2013 6:39:35 PM|
My dad was just cremated in January here in CA and I didn't need anything. I had a medical POA, but they never asked me for it. They never even asked about other children or survivors.
Granny's Score: Boys 5 ~ Girls 2
And yes, with my background, my opinion is worth more than that of a middle school teacher who can't get her facts straight.~ Batya
Sometimes you harm the cause more than you help.
Loc: Buffalo NY
|Posted: 2/8/2013 6:41:44 PM|
I so sorry. I am sure that is just prolonging your grief.
I like pizza Steve
Loc: West Jordan UT
|Posted: 2/8/2013 8:13:24 PM|
I am sorry your loved one passed away and you now have to deal with more stress trying to prepare burial.
I can understand why a state would have this rule. Here in Utah we had an odd case a few months ago. A man died and his body was taken to the local mortuary (it is a smaller town). Half his family wanted his body given a "normal" burial. Well he was part Native American, so the other part of his family storms the mortuary, gives the mortician some paperwork saying they are taking the body, load it up and were gone before the first half the family can be notified. The second half of the family then quickly had some Native American burial ceremony and wouldn't say where the body was buried or if he was cremated. It was kind of strange and now the first family is trying to find out where their loved one is.
I am sure the state is just trying to avoid a situation where there really is no "do over" if the next of kin didn't want a cremation. I know it stinks and makes things harder. But I hope your uncles will sign off so you can move ahead with preparations.
Loc: Queen Anne Hill
|Posted: 2/8/2013 9:28:20 PM|
My Mom's wishes were to be cremated, and she was very clear about it. I was surprised to find out after she died last year that unless those wishes are signed and notarized beforehand, that all living descendants have to agree to it. She was a very organized woman who clearly had no knowledge of this or she would have taken care of it.
I had to attempt to find my brother (who has pretty much fallen off the face of the earth the last 15 years), and put a notice in the newspaper of his last known city. It caused me a great deal of undue stress at a very difficult time.
My recommendation to anyone who would like to be cremated is to put that in your signed and notarized will.