| |
Ms. GreenGenes
PeaFixture
PeaNut 140,500
April 2004
Posts: 3,617
Layouts: 44
Loc: Just this side of crazy!
 |  Posted: 2/8/2013 3:21:24 PM
And in it is an invitation to a birthday party, for one of his best friends.
The party's TOMORROW, at lunchtime. So, less than 24 hrs notice.
Not only are we supposed to be headed out of town to help my newly-widowed MIL take care of some legal stuff, but we are packing up to move on Monday.
I'm irrationally irritated by the fact that I have no other resources that I can call on at this late date to help my son get to his best friend's party.
Is this common, to not give much notice? Am I just out of the loop?
And FWIW, no, the invitation wasn't lost anywhere, they were just handed out today. Several other kids were exclaiming over them and discussing the party when I got there. |
|
|
PEArfect
AncestralPea
PeaNut 452,048
January 2010
Posts: 4,468
Layouts: 0
Loc: Indiana
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 3:23:35 PM
I was wondering if maybe he left it at school for awhile, but that doesn't sound like the case. I would be aggravated too. I try to give at least a weeks notice so people can plan around it. |
|
|
UkSue
AncestralPea
PeaNut 428,374
June 2009
Posts: 4,240
Layouts: 2
Loc: Greater London
| Posted: 2/8/2013 3:25:50 PM
i would imagine that poor lad is going to have a number of no-shows  |
| Love is short, forgetting is long, and understanding longer still. | |
|
|
purpledaisy
Calm
PeaNut 116,261
November 2003
Posts: 25,155
Layouts: 102
| Posted: 2/8/2013 3:26:28 PM
That is not common to me! Yikes! |
Becca
May we be consumed with the Creator of all things rather than with things created.
6 rings - no cheating! Go STEELERS!
Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head. | |
|
|
mandolyn9909
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 183,632
January 2005
Posts: 5,056
Layouts: 57
Loc: Ontario, Canada
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 3:26:36 PM
I would just keep your schedule as is and plan to have the boy over for a play date or something. |
|
|
Ms. GreenGenes
PeaFixture
PeaNut 140,500
April 2004
Posts: 3,617
Layouts: 44
Loc: Just this side of crazy!
| Posted: 2/8/2013 3:28:43 PM
Sue, that was my thought, too, but then I wondered if maybe that was intentional. The mom actually has an RSVP request in there, and the party's at Chuck E Cheese, so maybe they wanted to keep costs down? The whole thing is odd. |
|
|
busypea
boring + nerdy
PeaNut 52,817
October 2002
Posts: 25,177
Layouts: 145
Loc: Oregon
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 3:31:42 PM
So frustrating! We got an invite for tomorrow yesterday, so we got a whopping 48 hours notice. DS, of course, is desperate to go because it's one of his favorite classmates. Commence schedule shuffling 
In your situation, I wouldn't go and wouldn't have any guilt about it. We don't have anything *major* planned otherwise, just errands, etc.. But packing to move and helping your MIL?
Send your regrets, get the kids together later and don't feel bad at all.
We get most invites a week out, which still feels too soon to me. I was surprised to get one this close and would definitely be surprised to get one the day before! Not the norm around here. | |
|
CountryHam
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 335,105
August 2007
Posts: 2,868
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 3:32:34 PM
With a BFF a written invite would be a mere formality. There is no way my daughter and her BFF wouldn't be talking for weeks about her party.
Since it's his bestfriend can you call the mom and explain the situation? Maybe you can drop him and he can hang out for the day? I wouldn't suggest that for just an aquaintence or classmate invite, but best friends are different. | |
|
irishscrappermom8
AncestralPea
PeaNut 220,508
August 2005
Posts: 4,535
Layouts: 52
Loc: IL
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 3:34:40 PM
Trying to keep costs down doesn't make sense. When you have a party like that you have to pay for a minimum number of people. I'm surprised that she didn't have to give them more notice on how many people are coming. |
|
|
Ms. GreenGenes
PeaFixture
PeaNut 140,500
April 2004
Posts: 3,617
Layouts: 44
Loc: Just this side of crazy!
| Posted: 2/8/2013 3:37:10 PM
Yeah, I'm thinking he's just not going to make it. Happily, he loves to spend time at my MIL's house, so it shouldn't be too disappointing.
I'd call the mom, but I don't know her, and I barely know her son (Our kids just met in school, and haven't been best buds for long). And due to those two factors, I'm definitely not comfortable leaving my son to hang out for the day.
Ugh, there isn't anything I can really do to change things, but sometimes I REALLY wish people would plan ahead a little better!!! |
|
|
BEF2008
PeaFixture
PeaNut 183,504
January 2005
Posts: 3,920
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/8/2013 3:40:51 PM
Ridiculous.
I woke up to a message from my 16 year old that HIS best friend's party is tonight and he needs to go out today and get a gift and a card. I woke HIM up (day off school) and said, "Start walking to the mall."
He's lucky his buddy's party starts and ends at a time when his dad is free to drive him because I am not free tonight and I'm not changing my plans to go scrapbook with MY BFF just for a birthday party that was planned last night.
At this age the kids actually don't care if they get gifts or not, or if gifts come later or never, so that's good. But what kind of mom thinks it's okay to hold a birthday party on a Friday night and invite kids to it the night before? (FTR the party was supposed to be last weekend and was canceled with a week's notice because the kid got sick. So I suppose I should have realized this was coming, but still ...)
For the OP I honestly would have no problem RSVPing and saying flat out, "Sorry, I can't change my plans and I can't get a gift with less than 24 hours notice so DS won't be coming to the party. I hope someone else is able to make it so your son isn't friendless for his birthday."
Some parents need wake-up calls. Sheesh. | |
|
Princess Pea
AncestralPea
PeaNut 57,475
December 2002
Posts: 4,815
Layouts: 0
Loc: The South
| Posted: 2/8/2013 4:42:32 PM
I'm irrationally irritated by the fact that I have no other resources that I can call on at this late date to help my son get to his best friend's party.
Relax. You are busy. He can't go. That's life. Children should be a part of our lives, not the center of it. |
Melissa
Wife, Mommy, and First Grade Teacher
Visit my blog: www.mrswilliamson.com
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."
Theodore Roosevelt
| |
|
|
scrap4maddie
Sometimes you harm the cause more than you help.
PeaNut 175,985
November 2004
Posts: 12,496
Layouts: 33
Loc: Buffalo NY
| Posted: 2/8/2013 4:57:15 PM
Did these parents really think no one would have plans tomorrow? I wouldn't be able to not ask her what she was thinking? |
|
|
Kate-pea
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 146,398
May 2004
Posts: 2,938
Layouts: 1
| Posted: 2/8/2013 5:39:29 PM
Eh, no big deal. He can't go.
I have had last-minute kid parties due to my own crummy organizational skills. I take no offense whatsoever if someone can't come.
I have also had to turn down invitations because we couldn't get our kid to a party venue due to work or other preplanned obligation. Again, no big deal. | |
|
Ms. GreenGenes
PeaFixture
PeaNut 140,500
April 2004
Posts: 3,617
Layouts: 44
Loc: Just this side of crazy!
| Posted: 2/8/2013 6:03:02 PM
Relax. You are busy. He can't go. That's life. Children should be a part of our lives, not the center of it.
Well, thanks for that, I guess.
If you knew how rarely my kids' schedule comes first, your advice would probably be the exact opposite. It's just one more reason why I'm irritated, because this is something I'd be okay with him doing, because it would be a chance for me to get to know the kid AND his family outside of school. We've been so swamped with this build and the long commutes from our boonietown rental that my kids have had no social life for eight months.
I get what you're saying, and agree, but your assumption is not the case here. |
|
|
Robbin
PeaFixture
PeaNut 11,958
March 2001
Posts: 3,384
Layouts: 30
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 6:07:50 PM
Maybe there is a story behind why the envelopes came home today. I have A LOT going on in my life these days, and that sounds like something I might do. I hope the little guy has fun at his party, and that his mom is not overcome with guilt over her son's party. |
|
|
cmcshari
PEAlicious
PeaNut 552,226
April 2012
Posts: 326
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 7:20:19 PM
When my kids were young, invites were NEVER allowed to be handed out at school......too many hurt feelings.(for my twins, we invited the whole class-they are 25 now. With the younger two who are 21 and 22, invites weren't allowed to be given out anymore.
With all the craziness, I'd call the mom and let her know what is going on and perhaps she will volunteer to get him for you. If not, then politely decline and tell her you wish you would have had more notice....blah blah blah | |
|
Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!
PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 23,525
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here
| Posted: 2/8/2013 7:32:00 PM
I wonder if the mom doesn't want a good turnout so she doesn't have a bazillion Kindergarteners if it is a situation where she is required to invite the whole class.
I would give my regrets and be done with it. Don't frustrate yourself with thinking through alternatives.
|
Dog people are a special breed! | |
|
|
kipper
PeaNut
PeaNut 13,270
March 2001
Posts: 123
Layouts: 1
Loc: Wisconsin
| Posted: 2/8/2013 7:46:04 PM
I work at a place where people have children's birthday parties. Some people book months in advance, but sadly, some book just days in advance.
We once had someone call on Saturday morning and demand to have a birthday party that day! The parties start at 1 pm and I believe the call came in around 11 am. Crazy.
I also have a lot of parents complain that nobody RSVPs anymore!
In your situation, I would not change my schedule around to accommodate their lack of planning or lack of notice.
Good luck with your move! | |
|
alittleintrepid
PeaAddict
PeaNut 345,847
November 2007
Posts: 1,765
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 2/8/2013 7:53:10 PM
At the school that my son used to attend, I know of a situation where a mom (not me) asked the teachers to hand out invitations and more than a week passed before the teachers did it. I assume they were busy. I have to assume there was some sort of reason. Otherwise, wtf was she thinking? |
|
|
freecharlie
Is the pool open yet?
PeaNut 109,127
September 2003
Posts: 19,245
Layouts: 4
Loc: Colorado
| Posted: 2/8/2013 8:01:11 PM
For the OP I honestly would have no problem RSVPing and saying flat out, "Sorry, I can't change my plans and I can't get a gift with less than 24 hours notice so DS won't be coming to the party. I hope someone else is able to make it so your son isn't friendless for his birthday."
Wow, what a bitch she is going to think you are. Can't imagine your son is going to get invited to many more when the moms who do show up start talking. |
| Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you | |
|
|
LippyMans
I like pizza Steve
PeaNut 28,105
January 2002
Posts: 14,969
Layouts: 0
Loc: West Jordan UT
 | Posted: 2/8/2013 8:01:26 PM
It seems that the norm around here is just barely a weeks notice. One day though is not very nice and you likely will not have many showing up. Most people have busy schedules now a days. | |
|
2goofy
PeaNut
PeaNut 463,272
April 2010
Posts: 66
Layouts: 0
Loc: Valley of the Sun, AZ
| Posted: 2/8/2013 8:46:34 PM
Please don't blame the child's parents.
When my daughter was in kindergarten, I sent the invitations in 8 days before the party. The teacher didn't have the kids take them home until the following Friday (day before the party). I was pissed. I wondered why I wasn't getting any RSVP's so I ask the teacher about them on Thursday after school and that's when she told me that they didn't go out in the last Friday folder but that she would make sure that they would go out the next day.
So much for sending them in early. | |
|
