S/o crazy spelled names... Anyone have a child they call by their middle name?

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Posted 2/19/2013 by cdnstorelady in NSBR Board
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Posted: 2/19/2013 4:44:31 PM
When DD#1was born 18 years ago we were going to name her after me and call her by a variation of it. Then after before she was born, like the next day, my husband asked if maybe we should call her what we had chosen for her middle name. That was easily spelled, not very common, well at that time anyway, and such a pretty name that we didn't want to just have it as her middle name. So all was good except I thought order wise it sounded better to put second if you were saying the entire name. So we decided to just keep it as her middle name but call her by that name.

Well by the time she had her first birthday, I knew that was a bbbaaaddd idea. Computers don't let you just underline the middle name to indicate preference like we did in school way back when....and having her first name be the same as mine made it worse.

So now we typically put her first initial and her middle name in the first name field on forms,etc...but even that can sometimes cause confusion...man if I'd only known then what I know now!

By the time DD#2 came along 3 years later, there was no way I was going down that road again. I told DD she's welcome to legally change it to her first name if she wants..

Anyone else regret doing that?

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Posted: 2/19/2013 4:47:55 PM
My nephew is a junior....he goes by his middle name and it really suits him. It's also a family name. He has had no issues even at graduation from College as his first and middle name are on his diploma.

Teachers at school knew him as his middle name as my SIL put it that way on all his papers. Anyone who knows him would never call him by his first name and if they did....so what?? He doesn't care...LOL

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Posted: 2/19/2013 4:48:46 PM
I did it to my 3rd son. He hates it.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 4:49:23 PM
I go by my middle name. The name flows much better that way, but it is definitely a pain when it comes to legal stuff - driver's license, credit cards, filling out forms, etc.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 4:50:53 PM
Since kindergarten I have gone by my middle name. Much easier to spell Renee than Jennifer when you are learning! 2 of my kiddos we call by first name.

Now oldest DS is a different story. He is a 4th!! I fought it up to the time the lady came into the hospital room for the SS # info. All names were taken that we could have called him. We could have gone with Bart but Bart Simpson was big at the time along with it being my ex's name, just wasn't going to happen. We call him Buddy. He is ok with that. Says everybody calls you Buddy here in the south so he says everyone already knows his name. He is such a good kid!

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Posted: 2/19/2013 4:56:11 PM

All names were taken that we could have called him.
I don't understand this. Explain please?

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PeaNut 33,042
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Posted: 2/19/2013 4:56:44 PM
My 90-year old grandma has only ever gone by her middle name. Her parents had two names chosen but they sounded better going B A instead of A B.

Not something she recommends others do.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 4:59:11 PM

All names were taken that we could have called him.

I don't understand this. Explain please?

I assume that all of the nicknames for the first name were in use by his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 4:59:27 PM
We did that with our oldest- he's the 5th generation "same First name" various Middle name, Last name. I didn't want him to be "little ______" and I am not a fan of any of the variations of said name. So, we kept the family name, and call him by his middle name. It has been frustrating at times, but I knew that going into it. He recognizes both, and is learning to say, "That's me, but I go by _______".

It was very important to by DH that if we had a boy, that we carry on that tradition; I wanted him to have is own name- not his dad's. This was a (fairly) peaceful compromise for us.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:00:19 PM
I almost did, but the next day my dh suggested we not do that and I agreed. It just took me one time to answer the name question to realize I didn't want to explain or correct all the time.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:01:43 PM
I go by my middle name, always have. In college, I put my first initial and then my full middle name. When I got married, I dropped my first name, moved the middle to the first spot, my maiden to the middle and added my new last name.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:03:28 PM
My daughter has always gone by her middle. She just simply puts her first initial down and spells out her middle name.

My granddaughter goes by both. In school, she goes by her middle name, again putting her initial and spelling out her middle name.

No problems at all this way.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:03:42 PM
My dad has gone by his middle name his entire life. When we were naming our kids he was very insistent that I name them the name I intended to call them. He talked about the problems it caused and how he regretted all the important documents in his life had his first name written in sideways in the margins instead of written correctly on the signature line.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:04:55 PM
No regrets. We named our first son after his dad, but called him by his middle name. He uses his first initial, then his middle name and last name. It looks classy, and he likes it. He's an adult now.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:06:10 PM
One of my brothers is a junior and we call him by a nickname for his middle name. It was my dad's nickname when he was growing up, too.

When he started high school (switched from public to private at the same time), my brother just let the teachers all call him by his first name. Old friends and family still use the middle name/nickname though.

ETA: it seems like something that would really only become a problem in adulthood, if it ever did. My parents just listed his nickname as his preferred name on forms when he started school; never had problems.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:12:10 PM
my grandma was named A B and was always refered to as B. I didn't even know for longest time that her name was "A". But


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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:18:13 PM
All of my mother's 4 older siblings went by their middle names. I don't know how that came to be. Then came my mother - the last child. She has no middle name. I always said it was grandmother's way of putting a stop to that nonsense.



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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:18:14 PM
I have several relatives who go by their middle names. They don't seem to have a problem.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:26:51 PM

I have several relatives who go by their middle names. They don't seem to have a problem.

Me too. No biggie. Just like a nickname. "Hi, my name is William. Call me Bill."

I know several sons, grandsons, and great-grandsons who share a family name and it doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

My cousin is Harvey Louis Lastname IV. He goes by Harvey.
His dad is Louie (public) or Sonny (family).
Our grandpa was Louis.
Our great-grandpa was Harvey.

As far as computers not being able to find you, I experience that with having a maiden/married name. I still use my maiden professionally. If it's not one, it's usually the other. No biggie.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:31:29 PM
I have 3 cousins that go by their middle names. I don't think it's been a big problem. One of them did the same thing to his son (calls him by his middle name) so I assume he doesn't think it's too bad to live with.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 5:42:20 PM
We use my middle daughter's middle name instead of her first name. It hasn't caused too many problems except when she was really, really young and the teachers would call out "Where's Rebecca?" and she wouldn't answer because she didn't even know that was her name. She goes by Paige. We named her this way because we thought Rebecca Paige flowed better than Paige Rebecca. Rebecca is my mother's name.

Actually, I'm the one who created the biggest problem because of it. I had to take her to an ER while we were on vacation and I filled out the paperwork with Paige instead of Rebecca. Of course, the insurance company denied the claim. That took some back and forth, but it all worked out eventually.



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Posted: 2/19/2013 6:05:35 PM
My DH goes by his middle name because from a very early age he hated his first name. I think it's a pain, and sometimes he thinks it's a pain too... wouldn't do it to my kids. He formally goes by W. Bruce Lastname, but of course, is always being called the dreaded W name. I think using an initial then middle name and last name works better for guys than girls, but that's just my opinion. I had a friend in college who went by K. Olivia Lastname. Always seemed odd to me.

I grew up without a middle name and that was odd too. Glad I had a good maiden name I can use now!


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Posted: 2/19/2013 6:07:58 PM
I can do one better. We call my son by a shortened version of his middle name lol. His middle name is Elliot. We call him Eli. He's 2 and I don't think he even knows what his first name is

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Posted: 2/19/2013 6:09:22 PM
Neither of my boys are, but I know a whole lot of kids that are where I live.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 7:33:49 PM
I have two friends that go by their middle names. Funny thing, they both are men and they both have the same name.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 7:43:04 PM
DH goes by his middle name. There were 3 generations named Paul (second name starts with E)

So they had Paul Emmitt
Paul Edward
Paul Eric

We kidded for years that we would name our son Paul Elvis.

MIL thought we were serious, so we kept kidding her the whole pregnancy. In the end: He's Ryan Anthony. DH really didn't care about the tradition.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 7:52:07 PM
My mom did and my DH does. It's a pain in the butt with regards to my DH because his first name is also a last name that you hear once n a while and our last name is a very common first name.

Thank gawd I don't go by my middle name because then I would have the same first and last names, although spelled differently


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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:06:28 PM
Yes. our ds is named after is father and grandfather, and his dad did not want him called "jimmy" so we call him by his middle name. It suits him, and he doesn't have a problem with it.

we would fill in forms with his first initial and then his middle name and it wasn't a problem. He did get used to the first day of school having to tell the teacher that he used his middle name.

my stepmom goes by her middle name, and one of dd's friends does too. I worked with an atty who did too.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:31:59 PM
My mother goes by her middle name. I've never heard her complain about it. Her checking account says L. Jeanette XXxxxxx

My husband is even worse, he goes by a nickname of his middle name. His first name is the same as his bio dad's so they started calling him by his middle name, which is eugene - but he goes by Gene. It's never been a big deal to him either. If someone calls him by his first name, he's ok with it.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:37:41 PM
I go by my middle name and have found it a PITA all along. Paging me at the hospital by my first name and I don't recognize it... forms... I would not do it to my kids.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:43:08 PM
I have always gone by my legal middle name.

It's a real PITA when it comes to anything "official" or legal.

Getting married gave me the opportunity to make some changes.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:46:07 PM
My oldest is named after my husband. My husband goes by his first and middle name. John David.

We named our son John David but call him David.
When I fill out a form, I write John "David."

It rarely comes up as an issue.
If a Dr. or someone calls him John, my son politely says he goes by David.

It is handy to know that if someone calls the house for either my husband or son and just calls them by their first name, I know they are not people we know.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:52:23 PM
My dh goes by his middle name. It only causes a problem when he has to do something legal for his business (i.e. stamp a drawing). I'll usually get a call to confirm that dh did, in fact, do the work.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:52:42 PM
It's very common where I live. So many parents give their children a saint's name as their first name, a family name, or a common name, such as John or Mary. They call the child by their middle name. Just about everyone in DH's family did that. If you looked at my class roster, you'd see it full of overrides because so many kids don't even recognize their legal name.

Before the days of callerid, it was very helpful to know instantly if it was friend or foe (telemarketer). We've only had a few blips with insurance, and that's about it.

Te other thing that's very common into call the boys Trey if they are the third of that name. I have a class with three Trey's.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:52:52 PM
Both of my kids are called by their middle names which are not normal/unusual family names. To make it more confusing, DS has the same first name as DH. DD and I have the same first name, same middle initial(hers is her name, mine is my maiden name initial).We didn't realize this until my dad pointed it out to us when she was 2 weeks old. She is the 6th or 7th to have the name we share. She shares first and middle name with my grandmother. FWIW, my dad and his sister are both called by their middle name.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 8:58:05 PM
Haha this thread reminds me of a story Step-MIL tells all the time.

DH's Dad and Little Brother are both Rudy (Rudolph). Little Rudy had no idea his legal name wasn't Rudy. On the first day of Kindergarten the teacher kept calling, "Rudolph" and he didn't respond, until finally it became obvious he was the only one who could be Rudolph. Then he felt stupid, and too shy to tell the teacher to call him Rudy.

He came home and mom asked how his day had gone.

Through tears, "Mom! They called me... ... RUDOLPH!!"

LOL! Poor little traumatized thing.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 9:03:32 PM
My oldest is Kristian Charles....to everyone he's Kit, but to me he's Charlie. Don't know why, just worked out that way. He signs himself as Kristian on paperwork.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 9:09:12 PM
We started calling #1 by his middle name. We didn't want people calling him "Junior".


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Posted: 2/19/2013 9:10:53 PM
I was named after my grandmother. I didn't know this until I was a teenager. She never went by her first name and I never knew what it even was! I also never go by my first name unless there is no choice.

Personally, I find it handy. If you ask for Elizabeth, I know you are 1. trying to sell me something or 2. I'm about to be arrested. It is my username on here because it is a great way to hide!

It has never been an issue for me. I know that banks, insurance, etc want my "real" name. I am asked to list an alias on most official forms anyway. My diplomas all have my common name as I was asked what I wanted and I wrote it that way. Nobody ever wants my diplomas, just my transcripts and if they need my transcripts they probably already have my official name. Really, not even a big deal.

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PeaNut 180,263
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Posted: 2/19/2013 9:16:32 PM

All names were taken that we could have called him.

I don't understand this. Explain please?

It is like someone above stated. Grandfather used the initials and that is what everyone called him. DH uses a shortened version of the first name. The shortened version of the second name would be Bart. Explained that reasoning for not using in above post. We talked to him in utero and would say things like "hey, buddy, how are ya?" and that name just stuck. He is really a Buddy now and I couldn't think of calling him anything else. Oh and the My Buddy dolls came out around the time he was born or was little. We would sing the commercial song to him a lot.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 9:24:02 PM
XH goes by his middle name. He's named after his dad "Charles" and grandfather "David." When telemarketers would call the house and ask for Charles, he'd say "Charles doesn't live here."

My dad was a jr. and only had a middle initial. No name. He was Carpenter L. Lastname, Jr. Went by C.L. his whole life. My mama told me one time she never wanted her husband to be a jr. or go by his initials. She got "C.L. Lastname, Jr." LOL

My nephew is called by his middle name. When folks who don't know call him "John", he just says that's my first name. Please call me James. He's never had much of a problem.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 9:25:50 PM
Our first was a boy and, I wanted him to be named after my husband, with "Jr." The only way my DH would agree is if we called him by his middle name, "Gary" since we already had three Phils and a Phyllis in the family. Don't regret it at all and neither does my son.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 9:26:18 PM
Dh, bil, mother, uncle, and grandfather all go/went by their middle names. It's never been anything more than a blip on the radar.


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Posted: 2/19/2013 9:49:56 PM
If I liked the middle name more, I would use that as a first name.


PeaNut 346,032
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Posted: 2/19/2013 10:01:14 PM
I have a friend who has always gone by her middle name. I would guess that most people don't even know that it's not her first name. She has the same first name as her mother. What is really strange is that her mother always hated her own name - but chose to give it to her daughter also. I have never understood that.

I actually always said if I had children I would NEVER give them the same name as another in the family; I think every kid should have their "own" name and identity.


PeaNut 307,675
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Posted: 2/19/2013 10:04:25 PM
I have always been called by middle name. We moved a lot & it was a huge pain to have all my forms & teachers calling me a different name.

When I got married, I had it officially changed.

My sister and cousins also go by their middle names & it is a pain for them as well.

I would never do that to my kids!


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Posted: 2/19/2013 10:05:13 PM
DH's mom swapped around his name.

He was supposed to have a name that started with A. It was a group decision first boy and all that. She made it his middle name and named him after an old friend instead.

By the time he was at school he had forgotten his middle name is his true first name and his family slowly got out of the habit. He looks at me odd if I mention it. lol.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 10:16:41 PM
I've only read the OP:

DH goes by his middle name and he HATES that fact (though he likes the name he goes by). His parents started calling him by his middle name before he was twoish. He says it sucks and was so irritated by it, that he didn't want our children to have nicknames at all. He always said we would call them their names and that is that.

My dad goes by his middle name as well and it irritated him.

It isn't something they are going to change. By the time you are 18 and allowed to change it, you have a driver's license, social security card, high school transcripts, bank accounts.... All things that would have to be changed.

On many things DH goes by first initial. middle name. On others he just puts down his first name.

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Posted: 2/19/2013 10:43:31 PM
My 4 yo dgs is named Samuel Solomon. His dad is also Samuel or Sam. Dgs has never liked to be called Sam because that is his dad's name. So he is called Solomon - except my Mom calls him SamSol. He is named after my grandfather, Solomon Harold. Grandpa never liked his first name, so he always used Harry!


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Posted: 2/19/2013 10:51:47 PM
My sister's husband, his father and all three brothers ALL go by their middle names. They all have different first names, too. It's their family tradition.

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