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NewfCathy
PeaFixture
PeaNut 268,368
July 2006
Posts: 3,868
Layouts: 27
Loc: North of Boston
 |  Posted: 3/5/2013 9:14:32 AM
Ds has a date this week with a girl who is being fostered. Originally I had been enlisted to drive them from the high school to the bowling alley, but now her foster mom has to drive her.
I have no problems with that and want to comply with any regulations. Other than the driving thing is there anything else to consider? Ds doesn't have his license yet and even when he gets it he can't drive any kids until he is 18.
They attend the same HS, and met over a year ago, but only recently started the texting thing. They have different classes but their trades/shop are both scientific and in the same area.
It's his first date!!!
Cathy | |
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PEAce sign
i'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious.
PeaNut 274,722
August 2006
Posts: 12,909
Layouts: 0
Loc: OH-IO!
| Posted: 3/5/2013 9:26:03 AM
aww, that's sweet.
unfortunately, kids in foster care won't be able to go many places unsupervised. my teen was finally able to be out 'in the public', meaning at the mall or going for ice cream or something, after i begged the agency and then got a written note from her caseworker that she had to keep in her purse!
some parents/agencies have 'bendier' rules than others. kids should not be at other kids' homes without the parent doing a background check and brief home inspection. they can't get licenses and need special permission even for school field trips. it's not fair and it's no fault of these kids!
thank you for being sensitive to her special circumstances. i'm sure she feels awkward about it. maybe you can ask her foster mom to let you know what you can do to help. | |
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NewfCathy
PeaFixture
PeaNut 268,368
July 2006
Posts: 3,868
Layouts: 27
Loc: North of Boston
| Posted: 3/5/2013 9:30:30 AM
Wow! The poor kid. I didn't realize all of that. That must be tough.
It's a regional school so we live about 20-30 min. apart. Hopefully I'll meet the foster mom at pickup afterwards.
Cathy | |
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PEAce sign
i'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious.
PeaNut 274,722
August 2006
Posts: 12,909
Layouts: 0
Loc: OH-IO!
| Posted: 3/5/2013 9:34:18 AM
i know! nothing like plopping a girl into a new school (sometimes), making her conspicuous, and then on top of that having her tell her brand new friend that she needs her family to do a home inspection if they want her to come to visit. | |
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NewfCathy
PeaFixture
PeaNut 268,368
July 2006
Posts: 3,868
Layouts: 27
Loc: North of Boston
| Posted: 3/5/2013 9:42:49 AM
True, it's a fine line between keeping a teen safe and stifling them.
Cathy | |
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smurfie
PeaNut
PeaNut 216,659
July 2005
Posts: 499
Layouts: 9
Loc: On the Scrapheap
 | Posted: 3/5/2013 10:24:52 AM
aww how nice of you to be so considered and supportive of them both
im in the uk, so different rules yet again, but both dd and ds have bff's that are both foster kids, ds's friend also has special needs.
with d we had the social workers contact us to ask if we would be willing to maintain contact while he was in care, and of course, we said yes.. all adults living in the household had to be crb checked and we had a homevisit from his caseworker. but he was allowed to spend weekends with us and go on family outings, though we had to apply for new permissions for each new venue we took him along to.
dd's friend is pretty much the same, though we only met with her SW and foster parents and, as we are already home and crb checked, jumped that queue.
plus, dh has adopted our 2 youngests since moving to this area, so we were known to the department and vetted through.
with each of them i just always double check what time their curfews are, what time i should pick up mine/drop them off and that i countersigned the permission slips.
hope he has a wonderful time with her  | |
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SonjaW
PeaFixture
PeaNut 123,540
January 2004
Posts: 3,123
Layouts: 0
Loc: San Jose, California
 | Posted: 3/5/2013 2:42:19 PM
The rules are really going to depend on what state and county you are in. I would just follow the foster mom's lead. She will know what is required. Here, foster children can be in someone else's care up to 24 hours without a background check, they can go on overnights to friends' houses and such. It really depends on your state. | |
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SonjaW
PeaFixture
PeaNut 123,540
January 2004
Posts: 3,123
Layouts: 0
Loc: San Jose, California
| Posted: 3/5/2013 2:43:06 PM
The rules are really going to depend on what state and county you are in. I would just follow the foster mom's lead. She will know what is required. Here, foster children can be in someone else's care up to 24 hours without a background check, they can go on overnights to friends' houses and such. It really depends on your state. | |
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PEAce sign
i'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious.
PeaNut 274,722
August 2006
Posts: 12,909
Layouts: 0
Loc: OH-IO!
| Posted: 3/7/2013 11:51:27 AM
proposed new rules
i saw this update on facebook this morning and found it timely, regarding this conversation/thread. | |
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PEAce sign
i'm not superstitious, but i am a little stitious.
PeaNut 274,722
August 2006
Posts: 12,909
Layouts: 0
Loc: OH-IO!
| Posted: 3/7/2013 11:51:43 AM
proposed new rules
i saw this update on facebook this morning and found it timely, regarding this conversation/thread. | |
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peapermint
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 9,321
January 2001
Posts: 8,594
Layouts: 0
Loc: all up in your business
 | Posted: 3/7/2013 1:26:45 PM
This is interesting to me -- I was briefly in foster care in the late '80s, and had a lot of close friends in foster care, and I don't remember any of us being closely supervised at all. We did whatever. The only difference was, I don't think anyone had a driver's license. One of our friends who was not in foster care drove us around. I don't even think there was a curfew. We had sleepovers and everything. | |
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momocarly
PeaAddict
PeaNut 169,727
September 2004
Posts: 1,872
Layouts: 57
Loc: Houston, TX
 | Posted: 3/7/2013 1:33:10 PM
Dd had a friend in the foster system last year and she was not allowed to come over to our house. The foster parents didn't want to go through the trouble of getting home studies, etc. for her friends so just said no. The girl eventually went back to the mom over an hour away and I hear has gotten into serious trouble since then. I feel so bad for that girl! Thanks for being supportive. |
Debbie
Mom of Carly (16) and Nathan (14)
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grannydiana
BucketHead
PeaNut 186,738
January 2005
Posts: 620
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 3/7/2013 2:27:15 PM
My experience with foster care is 10 years ago before we adopted our DD, but at that time even my Mom and Dad had to have a background check and home visit before they could babysit her. We are in Arizona. I would love to see that bill passed and some of the requirements lifted.
Diana | |
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