Do you realize the impact you have on other people's lives?

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Posted 6/16/2013 by enjoytotheend in NSBR Board
 

enjoytotheend
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 6/16/2013 11:52:09 PM
I have really struggled with self esteem my whole life. Mainly from abuse issues. I have questioned my worth more times then I would like to admit. I had this very good guy friend that has been one of my best friends for almost 20 years now. I texted him to wish him a Happy Father's Day. I am super close to his wife too.It's actually been awesome having him be like a brother to me and her like a sister.

Anyway tonight as we were texting back and forth he gave specific examples of how much I had impacted his life. How I helped him see his worth and how important he was. How I helped him grow into who he today which is a very successful person in every area.

I was shocked. Yes we have been great friends. Yes I have tried to encourage him and everyone else in my life. I am not writing this to say look at me. This truly isn't about me. It's about all of you that wonder if you are making a difference in this world and in the lives of others. I just want you to know that you likely are in ways that you can't even see at this time. I know I sure wasn't aware of them.

It also made me think of the people who have impacted my life at the most pivotal times. I should write or call them and thank them so they can really understand that their life matters.

I just want you all to know your life matters and affects more than you know. And then the ripple affect takes place. So if you ever doubt your worth just know someone's life is different because YOU were in it. You truly are irreplaceable.

PaperTulip
PeaNut

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Posted: 6/17/2013 12:17:00 AM
I had no idea until I moved to the town I'm in now and started a new relationship. Because apparently I'm broke my SO's marriage up from across the country. Her ex claims we were together before I moved and that broke them up. Yeah. I didn't know her then!

imaskrapper
BucketHead

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Posted: 6/17/2013 1:17:04 AM
enjoytotheend....timely post....this was something I needed to "hear"....thank you



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PeaFixture

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Posted: 6/17/2013 5:23:00 AM
Just one example - dd is 14. She dreamed that I had died one night last week. I could tell it had rattled her when she told me about it the next morning. That night she slept on the floor at the end of the bed so she could be closer to me. She tells me often how much she appreciates me. It's delightful to hear from my child, and especially from a TEEN.

I think I have an impact on ds's life, but he is so stoic, it's hard to tell. I joke that I could be gone for a few days before he'd ask where I was.

Woobster
The Banana Under the Couch Pea

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Posted: 6/17/2013 6:04:17 AM

enjoytotheend....timely post....this was something I needed to "hear"....thank you

I agree.

I am my own worst critic and have beaten myself up quite a bit lately. I often wish I could see myself as others do... Whether that's good or bad.

myboysnme
Living life on the left

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Posted: 6/17/2013 7:10:47 AM
Yes, I do realize it. In fact, I think I realize it more than I am acknowledged for. It never gets old to hear that stuff.


My choice is to not take it personally - people have opinions. Particularly people here.-Peabay 12/29/11
I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
When someone elects you Queen of Two Peas, then you can make the rules. - Sue_Pea 12/22/13
"Myboysnme,...I bow down to you, oh queen of the scrapping goodness" - Irish Eyes 3/9/14
"Myboysnme -- ... Whoa. I bow to thee." - Jill S 4/26/14









GrinningCat
Proudly Canadian

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Posted: 6/17/2013 7:20:50 AM
I probably have made an impact on specific people or on my community, but I don't like thinking about it or having it mentioned because it seems like ego to me. I do things for people because I want to, I don't think about it beyond that.

PeaCeaRyder
BucketHead

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Posted: 6/17/2013 7:25:04 AM
How true, enjoytotheend. I don't think we often give much thought of our impact (whether good or bad) on other people's lives. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.



"It is the duty of nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God...and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord." - Abraham Lincoln

Proclamation of a National Fast-Day, March 30, 1863.
Quoted in Marion Mills Miller, ed., Life and Works of Abraham Lincoln, Centenary Edition, In Nine Volumes: Volume VI (New York: The Current Literature Publishing Co., 1907), p. 156.

"The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it." - George Orwell

genny
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Posted: 6/17/2013 7:26:53 AM
Probably not fully, but I did get a good idea this past fall when 2 of my closest friends threw me a suprise birthday party. It was totally unexpected since it was not a milestone birthday and I was completely taken (their plan was oh so good!). But the things they said about me to my other friends and family that night really humbled me. I knew of course that the 3 of us are 'besties' (only known them for a couple of years now, but our chemisty was immediate and tight) but some of the stuff they shared with others who are important to me really made me quite happy, and more than a little embarrassed.

Embarrassed because I try to live simply by the golden rule and I don't expect any kudos for it.
It was very, very nice stuff to hear.

After a horrible end to what I thought was a very close friendship about 3 years ago (which turned out to be complete sham and broke my heart in so many ways) I was very guarded for a while. I questioned myself, my worth in every way as a woman and a person, and why the hell I am so damn nice and trusting and do so much for others with nothing in return. I was so jaded and bitter and just kind of faded into the woodwork for about a year. I was lonely and sad and completely unfulfilled.

Anyway, these two girls, who are relatively 'new' friends for someone my age, really let me know what I meant to them and because of some of the things we had done and shared and went through together or helped each other through in our short time together need ME as much as I needed them. And that being ME is just perfectly fine and that I am loved and appreciated 'as is'. Ex BFF's bullshit, while it still hurts if I allow myself to think on it, is really just a blip on the radar and it was her NOT ME. I was good and kind to her and loved her quite unconditionally. It was like a divorce for me - and I am so glad I am over it and have that toxicity out of my life now.

Thanks for sharing this - probably something we all need to be reminded of from time to time. Glad you are feeling the love today! <3 Sorry I got longwinded...


All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope. ~ Winston Churchill

Mom to beautiful, creative, talented and kind Sarrie, 14, and handsome, intelligent, wise, and witty Dev, 16

enjoytotheend
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 6/18/2013 4:37:11 AM
I am glad you were all reminded and shared your stories. It really is those small things. Most of the time the good doesn't go noticed or we are too hard on ourselves. This was just one of those times that made me step back and think and vow to tell others how much the have influenced my life too!

NativeNewYorker
black eyed pea with soul!

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Posted: 6/18/2013 6:18:28 AM

Do you realize the impact you have on other people's lives?


Not anymore.


Staci
original pea number #3450
This Black Butterfly

Mary Kay Lady
I'm thinking . . .

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Posted: 6/18/2013 7:46:15 AM


I have really struggled with self esteem my whole life. Mainly from abuse issues. I have questioned my worth more times then I would like to admit.


This.

There have been a few times in my life where someone has shared with me the impact I've had on their life. At this point in my life I'm going through a real challenge and honestly, it's been very difficult. I know that things will be better on the other side. It's just getting through to the other side that has been hard for me.

I hate those "voices in my head" that tell me I can't do it, that challenge my sense of self-worth.


auntkelly
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Posted: 6/18/2013 7:51:37 AM

It also made me think of the people who have impacted my life at the most pivotal times. I should write or call them and thank them so they can really understand that their life matters.



I think we should all do this. I can't imagine how great it would feel to receive a letter like that.


Ginny

SouIN Scrapper
PeaNut

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Posted: 6/18/2013 9:12:06 AM
I never realize how much I have impacted the young lives that I coached. THen they give me a card thanking me for making them accountable, hard working people in their lives. I strive for this, but you never know if it sinks in or not!

Peabay
Happy now?

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Posted: 6/18/2013 9:13:16 AM
I just got a text from my 10 y/o dd's friend's father that said: "since we met you in preschool, you have done nothing but better my child's life."

Made me cry!



needmysanity
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Posted: 6/18/2013 12:58:36 PM
Thanks for sharing your post!

Many times I wonder if I am making a difference with the foster kids I advocate for. Every so often I get a phone call or email from a former kiddo or parent just to say they are doing okay...it's those times when I stop wondering if I am doing the right thing.



~Steph~

Mom, wife, CASA advocate, baseball fanatic and wine drinker

Blogging my way through life at Meandering Steph






tamhugh
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 6/18/2013 4:46:08 PM
A few years back, when I first joined facebook, one of my younger brother's friends sent me a friend request. After I had accepted it, he sent me a message telling me that when he was in middle school, he was very depressed and self conscious about his weight, appearance, etc. He wanted me to know how much it had meant to him that I always nice to him. He said he had perceived me as a "popular" high school kid who always took the time to talk to him and be nice on the bus. It really meant a lot to me to hear it, because I never thought of myself as particularly popular or pretty in high school. It came at a time when my own self esteem was hurting a little so it meant a lot to me that he took the time to tell me.

scrappysailorswife
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Posted: 6/18/2013 5:19:41 PM
I always hope that I have a positive impact on other people's lives, but it's not something I often think about. If I do make a difference for someone, it's very nice to be told.

Just recently, a friend let me know how important I was to her. She is going through some challenges. She moved here from another state with her 2 daughters and her husband. I met the family through work, as the husband was hired to be part of our installation team. I left my job in September. Not long after that, the husband was fired. He sat on the couch playing video games and refused to look for a new job. Needless to say, things got very difficult for them very quickly. Instead of manning up and taking care of his family, the husband packed up his stuff and moved back to their home state. He abandoned his family in a place where they have very little support. My friend was 100% disabled in her home state, but was denied disability here.

My family helped move my friend out of their 4 bedroom home in to a small apartment. She immediately set out to find a job to support herself and her girls, and was able to find a position in her field. Last week, we took them out to dinner to celebrate her new job. I told her how proud I was of her and how she had handled a rough situation. She thanked me for my support and said that she didn't know how she would have gotten through it if I had not been there. I didn't really feel that I did anything other than try to be a good friend. It totally made me cry...in the restaurant!



dulcemama
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Posted: 6/18/2013 5:44:55 PM
I work with adults with disabilities so I sort of assume, by the nature of my work, that I impact lives. But it really came home to me one year when I received a mother's Day card from the mother of one of the people I work with, thanking me for being her child's "second mother". And it hit me again a few years later when this same mother chose me as back up guardian for her child should anything happen to her. It was both the proudest and most humbling day of my life.




~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hey! Where's my theme music?!?


aerobigirl
Insert witty title here

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Posted: 6/18/2013 6:45:53 PM
I'm in a job that allows me to impact people's lives in a positive way so I'm grateful for when it happens and hope that it happens.

What really humbles me is the rare instances where I've seen impact on others not related to fitness, family or friends.

I got that extraordinary privilege just 3 days ago.

Driving to work 2 summers ago, I was the first car on the scene after a van had run over a bicyclist. I put my car between him and traffic, checked him, called 911, stayed with him until help arrived, etc. He was wearing an ID tag so I called his wife as well to let her know he'd been hit and was being taken care of, and I called the next day to check on her. For a long time, I had nightmares, but even though I had his wife's number in my cellphone, I didn't want to intrude further on them.

On our way to do Father's Day shopping Saturday afternoon, I recognized him walking into Starbucks! My son thought I was crazy for walking after him and I didn't take time to explain. I introduced myself, asked him if he'd been in a bike accident 2 years ago, and then told him I was the girl who had stopped and called 911. And then I started to cry. Hard to explain. I didn't talk to him so that he would thank me, it was because I was so relieved to see him alive, walking, and at Starbucks with a bicycling group. He told me I'd saved his life; I told him he had changed mine.


Nancy

swim mom
BucketHead

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Posted: 6/18/2013 10:25:24 PM

My dh and I recently celebrated our 27th anniversary. We have had a young couple (my ds's friends) living with us for the past year, along with their 3 yo and newborn. They moved in a couple weeks after they got married, when their living situation went bad. They gave us a framed photo of ourselves and a card with a note that said they hope their marriage will be as strong as ours is. It made me cry because I really do believe that one reason for them living with us is to show them what a committed, loving marriage is, and to be an example for them. Their note said that we are making a difference in their lives.

I think we touch people in ways we will never know.

enjoytotheend
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 6/19/2013 6:29:31 AM
These just warmed my heart! I wish everyone saw the difference they are making in others lives. You are ALL awesome!
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