Lost in Translation: What the parent says/What the kids hear

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Posted 6/17/2013 by littlefish in NSBR Board
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littlefish
Peain' in the Pool

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March 2003
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Posted: 6/17/2013 6:42:29 PM
What I say: It's time to go!

What DD hears: It's time to move as slow as possible from where I am to the door/car! Snails rule!

Your turn.


Julie

WingNut
Best Cat Evahhh!

PeaNut 18,741
July 2001
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Loc: Maryland

Posted: 6/17/2013 6:47:40 PM
What I said: Take *THAT* box there and *THAT* box over there and put them in the trash.

What son heard: nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. I'm tired of her telling me what to do. I'll take all these boxes, who cares what she said.

And $60 worth of decorative curtain rods landed in the dump. I realized they were gone 10 minutes after the garbage truck came by. Yes, I'm still a little bitter and its been 3 weeks.

:::: sigh ::::


Joy


recap.pea
AncestralPea

PeaNut 288,074
December 2006
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Posted: 6/17/2013 6:48:10 PM
What I say: We aren't buying that

What DS interprets: She will buy it if you keep begging for it over and over and over and whine as much as possible






(PS: his interpretation is wrong, you would think he'd figure it out by now)

littlefish
Peain' in the Pool

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March 2003
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Posted: 6/17/2013 6:56:23 PM
Oh Joy, that's terrible!

recap, my DD is the same way sometimes.


Julie

alisatj
PeaFixture

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February 2004
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Posted: 6/17/2013 6:58:00 PM
What I say: Come help me with this, please.
What DD hears: Nothing, apparently.

3PSoup
AncestralPea

PeaNut 216,327
July 2005
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Posted: 6/17/2013 7:12:32 PM
What I say: Don't forget it is garbage day. Take the garbage(s) out and the garbage can to the curb.

What DD hears: Take kitchen garbage out. Done!

What I say: Damn it! As I'm running out at 6am hearing the garbage truck roaring down the road only to discover DD, as usual, has forgotten to take it to the curb. I'm sure the garbage man loves my wide array of jammmies. LOL...

twinsmom-fla99
AncestralPea

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May 2005
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Posted: 6/17/2013 7:49:00 PM
What I say: Dry the dishes and put them away.

What my DDs hear: Dry the dishes and leave them scattered around the kitchen, somewhat in the general vicinity of the cabinet in which they SHOULD have been placed.

Drives.me.crazy.

megmc
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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January 2011
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Posted: 6/17/2013 8:38:43 PM
wash your dirty clothes

what they hear-

throw all your clothes in the hall.

candleangie
Sequin Sewer

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April 2004
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Posted: 6/17/2013 8:45:43 PM
What I say: Please go stick this basket on top of my dresser for me?
What they hear: Please go stick this basket directly in front of my bedroom door so I can break my neck on it.

What I say: Emma, go put your crochet project away.
What she hears: Emma, go transfer this pile to the middle of your bedroom floor, so I can break my neck on it.

They. Are. Trying. To. Kill. Me.......


The blog, finally resurrected!





PhotoHorse
PeaFixture

PeaNut 66,309
February 2003
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Loc: Central Iowa

Posted: 6/17/2013 9:23:36 PM
Mine is as a coach:

We say, "You need to eat good things on meet day" (for track meets).

The girl heard, "Meat" and ate a candy bar because it was hard to bring chicken with her on the bus.


Another coaching:

We said, "Everyone will run a half mile this year."

Girl's mom, "She doesn't want to run another one. You said everyone had to run a half mile, and she's already ran hers."


Kate-pea
PeaFixture

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Posted: 6/17/2013 9:30:46 PM
What I said: "We are leaving in five minutes. Please have your teeth brushed and your shoes on."

What DD heard: "Goof off for the next five minutes, then scramble for your toothbrush as soon as you hear me ready to leave at the door."

Lumo
Carolina dorkburger

PeaNut 233,457
November 2005
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Loc: Stuck in the middle

Posted: 6/17/2013 9:41:39 PM
What I say: Stop doing that.

What DD thinks: I must keep doing this thing ad infinitum! I will never ever ever stop!!! And I probably should do it as loudly as possible!!!!!!!

What I then do: Bang head against wall.


---
Kelly


cmpeter
PEAceful Pea

PeaNut 14,521
April 2001
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Loc: Washington State

Posted: 6/17/2013 9:42:35 PM
LOL...I call my dd the slowest fast person in the world. I think she goes slower on purpose when I am in a hurry.

She is also famous for telling me "one more sec" and then taking 20 minutes.


Cindi

littlefish
Peain' in the Pool

PeaNut 78,065
March 2003
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Loc: Sunshine State

Posted: 6/17/2013 10:06:42 PM
TFS, everyone. I'm glad I'm not alone!


What I then do: Bang head against wall.


No kidding.


She is also famous for telling me "one more sec" and then taking 20 minutes.


Cindi, mine is only 5 and she already does this! She loves to clean at bedtime. Not just pick up, but clean and organize everything. Since it's summer I've been letting her stay up a little later. Tonight I let her take her time getting ready for bed...she started just before 9 (and all she had to do was go potty and brush her teeth) and didn't fall asleep until after 10! I told her she's on a timer tomorrow night!


Julie

ladypop
BucketHead

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June 2008
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Posted: 6/17/2013 10:40:39 PM
I say: Everyone, can you clear the table and stack the dishes in the kitchen please?

DH hears: Boys, can you clear the table and stack the dishes in the kitchen please?

DS#1 hears: DS#2, can you clear the table and stack the dishes in the kitchen please?

Ds#2 hears: nothing. Straight after dinner he put headphones on.

Dog hears: In about 5 minutes it will be safe to climb on the dining table and help yourself to the leftovers.



Step away from the chocolate and nobody gets hurt....
My blogs....
http://kjirstenhartwell.blogspot.com/
http://planethartwellgallery.blogspot.com/

shelley36
She who peas to avoid grading papers

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Posted: 6/17/2013 11:13:48 PM
I say: Take out the garbage, unload the dishwasher, and bring down your laundry.

They hear: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bring down your laundry.

Ah, the amazing wonders of the teenage brain!

Shelley in WA


Ya Ya Princess Had-it-up-to-here

freecharlie
What happens in NSBR, stays in NSBR

PeaNut 109,127
September 2003
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Posted: 6/17/2013 11:23:26 PM
What I say: No
What they hear: Ask Why or beg saying Please

What I say: Stop doing that
What oldest DH hears: Do it at least one more time before stopping

What I say: Pick up your dirty clothes
What they hear: Throw all your dirty clothes in the hall ignoring the hampers. And hey, while you are at it, throw your clean clothes that you didn't put away when I asked you to into the hallway.


Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you

MizIndependent
Is there another word for synonym?

PeaNut 256,623
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Posted: 6/17/2013 11:39:44 PM
Me: *anything*

What they hear: "wah wa-wah wah wah"

*sigh*



Youtube: Hungry For Change - Your Health is in Your Hands. Dieting doesn't work, this movie tells you why.

Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does.


benem
I live for the applause applause applause...

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Posted: 6/17/2013 11:50:23 PM
Ladies these are hysterical! I'm sorry to laugh but I can't help it!


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gar
Whoopea!

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Posted: 6/18/2013 1:27:40 AM

Ladies these are hysterical! I'm sorry to laugh but I can't help it!


Me too.


Not these days but we went through a stage with DD#2

when I said "It's time for bed/Please go and do the dishes/have you finished your homework"

She heard "Do you want to fight about about it!?"







Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.


sportymom
BucketHead

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Posted: 6/18/2013 6:27:41 AM
What I say: If we get our chores done, we can go to the pool

What they hear. We're going to the pool and they start getting dressed for the pool.


SM

matleavepea
PeaFixture

PeaNut 382,038
July 2008
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Loc: hogtown

Posted: 6/18/2013 6:46:21 AM
what i say to DS: you are acting like your sister

he hears: you are a terrible person, you are a horrible person, you are mean, you suck, you are a jerk. and bursts into tears.

clearly he does not think much of his sister these days....

Oliquig
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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June 2005
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Posted: 6/18/2013 6:58:19 AM
I say: It's time for bed.

Niece hears: Let the negotiations begin.

I am often heard saying (much to the amusement of others) to my niece and my Girl Scout troop: Come on, faster than sloth please.


-Rachel

I just don't see why people think I'm too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they were stupid.)






Monklady123
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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July 2010
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Loc: Northern VA

Posted: 6/18/2013 7:08:27 AM
Oh yes, I can relate to most of these at one time or another. My latest one is this:

Me, to ds: "Hey, can you please take the recycling out to the bin? As soon as you come to a good stopping place [from whatever he's doing at the moment]."
Ds: His mouth says "okay" but his ears hear "________"

Ten minutes later:

Me, as I fall over the bag of recycling in the kitchen: "Hey, what about this recycling?"
Ds: "What?"

Sigh.



WingNut
Best Cat Evahhh!

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July 2001
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Posted: 6/18/2013 7:30:01 AM
Probably the #1 thing I love about this board is knowing I'm truly not alone in things like this! Aaaahhhhhhhhh!!!


Joy


hop2
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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Posted: 6/18/2013 8:27:50 AM

What I said: "We are leaving in five minutes. Please have your teeth brushed and your shoes on."

What DD heard: "Goof off for the next five minutes, then scramble for your toothbrush as soon as you hear me ready to leave at the door."



This is my DD. OMG it drives me nuts. She is late to everything.

SharlaG
Kingpin of something undisclosed, but important

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May 2003
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Posted: 6/18/2013 9:06:50 AM

Dog hears: In about 5 minutes it will be safe to climb on the dining table and help yourself to the leftovers.
Hee!







--If you see someone crying, ask if it's because of their haircut.




Blind Squirrel
All is well

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May 2005
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Posted: 6/18/2013 9:33:14 AM
I say, "Take 10 minutes to finish up on the computer."

They hear, "I would like you to turn off the computer by next week."

gorgeouskid
You gots to access your uncrazy side.

PeaNut 83,119
April 2003
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Layouts: 10

Posted: 6/18/2013 10:01:36 AM
Me: "I'm leaving for work. I'll miss you so much the week you are going to camp (leaving today.) Make sure you call me before you go to bed (it's a sports camp where they are in dorms and have access to their cell phones at night) because I'll miss you so much and want to hear your voice."

Him:"................................................................................................ huh? Oh bye."

(This exact conversation happened this morning. And he was gone to Denver for five days and just got back yesterday.)

TheSeabee&Me
StuckOnPeas

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February 2009
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Loc: you can take the girl out of the country...

Posted: 6/18/2013 10:46:45 AM
Me: Everyone, we need to leave the house in 10 minutes. Finish getting ready and in the car. I"m getting YDS's stuff ready. DH, grab him and put his shoes on please.

DH: You have 10 minutes. You can sit a while longer. It doesn't take you 10 minutes to get in a car. I've got this, so don't worry about helping the 2 yo get his shoes on.

13yo DS: You have 10 minutes. Plenty of time for some Angry Birds. You definitely don't need 10 minutes to gather your stuff and get in a car.

2yo DS: Strip down to your diaper and hide your shoes while Mom's busy restocking your snacks, diaper bag and finding your favorite car toys. Dad's not looking. Woo hoo! Par-tay! Go hide yourself. It'll be fun!

10 minutes pass...ODS has his shoes on because he's seen my one eyebrow raise but is now debating which hat to smack on his head and if he needs a drink for the car. DH looks at me dumbfounded when he steps out of the bathroom that he entered at the 8 minute mark to find me searching for YDS's clothes and shoes...YDS himself. He's puzzled that the 2 yo hasn't managed to get himself ready to get out the door since he managed just fine.

fredfreddy
chatty chatty

PeaNut 120,522
December 2003
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Loc: San Jose, CA

Posted: 6/18/2013 11:18:05 AM
At last night's Webelos meeting:

Me: Be quiet.
Scout: Talk louder.

Me: Serious answers only.
Scout: Includes "whoopee cushion" in every answer.

Me: Raise your hand if you have an answer.
Scout: Oh, oh, I forget.

Me: Give one answer.
Scout: Rambles on for 30 seconds before giving no answers.


Alana

it rhymes with banana

mom to a 21 yo dd, 14 yo ds, and 11 yo ds and a scrapper for 13 years

perumbula
oooh, what you said!

PeaNut 27,933
January 2002
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Posted: 6/18/2013 11:48:35 AM
Fredfredy, that right there is why I was a den leader for one year only. I was going to strangle someone if I did it any longer.

My kids have selective hearing as well. But my "favorite" is when they think that if I don't use the exact word they would have used to describe the inappropriate action then they can keep doing it. For example:

Me: stop jumping on the couch
child: I'm not jumping I'm bouncing. (Said while continuing to jump.)
Me (using most repeated line in my house): I don't care what you want to call it, stop doing it!

They also feel that if it's not bothering them it shouldn't bother me.

Me: Son, put your clothes away properly so your drawers can actually close.
15 year old: I like it like that. (Continues to play video game.)

There are days when I wish we could afford summer camps. Lots and lots of summer camps.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Notes From Bedlam
The Project Princess Strikes Again-my craft blog

Melmag
PeaFixture

PeaNut 412,747
February 2009
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Posted: 6/18/2013 11:53:56 AM
I say: Please get started mowing the lawn.
DS12 hears: Please come outside wearing sandals, as that's the most appropriate footwear available for lawnmowing.

I say: What are you thinking? Go inside and get some closed-toed shoes on!
DS12 hears: Go inside and fart around for 20 minutes until Mom comes inside to see if you're still alive. And then be barefoot.


May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows!

Katybee
PeaFixture

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June 2008
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Loc: Enjoying the summer sun!

Posted: 6/18/2013 12:19:18 PM
I would do the kindergarten teacher version of this, but it would just make me cry...


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fredfreddy
chatty chatty

PeaNut 120,522
December 2003
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Loc: San Jose, CA

Posted: 6/18/2013 1:24:34 PM
This morning with Alex.

Me: I'll walk with you to swim practice. Get your goggles and towel.
Alex hears: Get rip stick.

Me: Why do you have your rip stick, when I said we were going to swim and walking there?
Alex: I don't know. (Gives me the cute sad face).

Me: (smile and sigh)


Alana

it rhymes with banana

mom to a 21 yo dd, 14 yo ds, and 11 yo ds and a scrapper for 13 years

leftturnonly
Will trade mosquitoes for cookies.

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March 2009
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Loc: Living in Kim's Perfect World, again.

Posted: 6/18/2013 2:00:05 PM
Me: Dog, come here.
Dog: I bet I can make her believe I'm deaf.... pretends not to hear.

Me: Dog, sit.
Dog: I don't hear you.

Me: Dog, stay.
Dog: LALALALALALALA


the teeniest sound of dinner:
Dog: Well whadaya know? I can hear again! It's a miracle! I've been cured! Look how thankful I am! I'm going to do my happy dance for all the world to see!






If PC is the way to get to Heaven, I'm going straight to Hell.



Mimima
Stay Gold, Ponyboy

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July 2002
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Posted: 6/18/2013 2:14:11 PM

What I say: Stop doing that
What oldest DH hears: Do it at least one more time before stopping



This typo (I'm assuming) made me giggle

This whole thread is so, so, so true.


~Mimi
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." - Louisa May Alcott

JustCallMeMommy
Magical Pea

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January 2003
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Posted: 6/18/2013 2:22:19 PM

Me: Be sure to drain the tub, Alison.
Alison: OK
Me (12 hours later): Why is there water in my tub?


Me: Alison, grab your bag and get in the car. I'll be right there. We're in a hurry.
Alison: Mom wants me to carry everything I own to the car, set it in my seat, and stand outside the car. Perhaps I'll carry a shoe.


Me: Time for bed!
Alison: Time to play with the dog!


-Jennifer


leftturnonly
Will trade mosquitoes for cookies.

PeaNut 416,788
March 2009
Posts: 22,257
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Loc: Living in Kim's Perfect World, again.

Posted: 6/18/2013 2:27:21 PM

Perhaps I'll carry a shoe.






BTDT!






If PC is the way to get to Heaven, I'm going straight to Hell.



justbecause
Useless Information

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February 2006
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Layouts: 1

Posted: 6/18/2013 2:34:07 PM
ME: any question regarding to bathroom habits
DS1: No idea but I'll just say yes so she'll go away
ME (anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour later): WTH? I thought you did X! (this usually applies to him forgetting to pick up wet towels, to dry the puddle of water he tends to leave after a shower, or even flushing the damn toilet )

ME: Get off the computer
DS1 and 2: keep playing, you have time
ME: Turn the game off before I unplug things
DS1 and 2: You still have a few minutes
ME: *hits escape and turns off the monitor* It works and now they get off the first time I say to. Usually. damn minecraft



pretzels
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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August 2010
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Posted: 6/18/2013 3:33:30 PM
Me: Kids, go wash your hands. Supper is ready.

Kids: Maybe if we just walk to the bathroom door and then walk back, she will think we did wash our hands.

Do they think I'm stupid?

CeeScraps
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

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July 2003
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Posted: 6/18/2013 5:04:49 PM
OMG I can hardly see I'm laughing so hard! I'm so glad to know I am not the only one!!

I say: put your stuff away when you're done
DD responds:I will
DD does: nothing because she claims she forgot.

Yeesh, I'm the old one and get to forget not you.





Ginger

Tech is always teaching!

SabrinaP
ABC & 123 Pea

PeaNut 21,381
September 2001
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Loc: Dallas, Texas

Posted: 6/18/2013 5:11:40 PM
Me: ok boys time to do some cleaning before bed. Go work on your rooms

Boys: time to play in our rooms and make an even bigger mess.

Now we need to do the DH version!



********
Wife of a wonderful DH and mommy to Caden 12-21-04 and new little guy Carson 8-28-08! Teacher Pea

My Pinterest

*Shannah*
You know what grinds my gears?

PeaNut 242,768
January 2006
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Loc: Where the rabbits roam free....

Posted: 6/18/2013 5:28:32 PM
my dd gets speech therapy, partially to help with her talking LOUDLY at all times.

me: Alandra, you need to use your bunny voice in the house please.

Alandra: RAWR!!!! I'm a mutant ginormous zombie bunny! RAWR!!! Feed me brains! BRAINS!!! BRAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS! (and all this while she's jumping on anything standing still and screaming at the top of her lungs.)

and her father laughs hysterically the whole time.

fredfreddy
chatty chatty

PeaNut 120,522
December 2003
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Loc: San Jose, CA

Posted: 6/21/2013 11:40:28 PM
Just now...

Me: Fill the dishwasher
Calvin (13 yo): fill the dishwasher with half the dishes, leave half on the counter and then run the dishwasher even though it is only 20% full

O MY GOD!!!


Alana

it rhymes with banana

mom to a 21 yo dd, 14 yo ds, and 11 yo ds and a scrapper for 13 years

grammanisi
peaing from my beach room

PeaNut 142,772
April 2004
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Loc: Northern Indiana...Fighting Irish Country

Posted: 6/22/2013 1:35:17 AM
I say: please put your clothes away.

DH hears: please put your clothes on top of the dresser.



Denise
~*~*~*~*~


AussieMeg
How about you, Lash LaRue?

PeaNut 51,689
October 2002
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Loc: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: 6/22/2013 2:34:19 AM
Ladypop!!!

I say: DD, make sure you put the towel back in the bathroom after your shower.
DD hears: Make sure you put that wet towel on the huge pile of other previously wet but now just mouldy towels on your bedroom floor.

I say: DS, stop <insert annoying / noisy / dangerous activity here> right now!
DS hears: Please do that <insert annoying / noisy / dangerous activity here> One.More.Time. Maybe two. Because it's so much fun to see mum lose her shiz!

gar
Whoopea!

PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
Posts: 15,755
Layouts: 0
Loc: England UK

Posted: 6/22/2013 3:00:16 AM

Me: Everyone, we need to leave the house in 10 minutes. Finish getting ready and in the car. I"m getting YDS's stuff ready. DH, grab him and put his shoes on please.

DH: You have 10 minutes. You can sit a while longer. It doesn't take you 10 minutes to get in a car. I've got this, so don't worry about helping the 2 yo get his shoes on.

13yo DS: You have 10 minutes. Plenty of time for some Angry Birds. You definitely don't need 10 minutes to gather your stuff and get in a car.

2yo DS: Strip down to your diaper and hide your shoes while Mom's busy restocking your snacks, diaper bag and finding your favorite car toys. Dad's not looking. Woo hoo! Par-tay! Go hide yourself. It'll be fun!

10 minutes pass...ODS has his shoes on because he's seen my one eyebrow raise but is now debating which hat to smack on his head and if he needs a drink for the car. DH looks at me dumbfounded when he steps out of the bathroom that he entered at the 8 minute mark to find me searching for YDS's clothes and shoes...YDS himself. He's puzzled that the 2 yo hasn't managed to get himself ready to get out the door since he managed just fine.



That's funny....from my perspective obviously





Today, I will be colouring outside the lines.


Jenny Lilac
For Esme with Love and Squalor

PeaNut 45,964
August 2002
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Loc: Pioneer Valley, Massachusetts

Posted: 6/22/2013 8:09:13 AM
Me: I'm getting out of work at 2 today and when I get home I have a lot to do.

What DD hears: My mommy will come come and take me to the children's museum, the park, bike riding, for ice cream, we'll scrapbook together, and more!



Super Soda
BucketHead

PeaNut 269,431
July 2006
Posts: 892
Layouts: 6

Posted: 6/22/2013 8:52:45 AM
What i say: please have your bags for camp completely packed by the time I get home.

What they hear:: please pack 2 shirts and 1 pair of shorts, no underwear, and no socks for five days at camp.
----
What I say: please do your laundry so that you will have everything clean to pack for camp

What they hear: please pack dirty laundry into your suitcase for camp
---
Sadly, these kids have packed for Girl Scout campouts many times. But puberty has hit and apparently their brains have been abducted by aliens.
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