Anyone here just spend Thanksgiving on your own?

Two Peas is Closing
Click here to visit our final product sale. Click here to visit our FAQ page regarding the closing of Two Peas.

Posted 11/25/2013 by ladyinblack1964 in NSBR Board
 

ladyinblack1964
PeaNut

PeaNut 443,660
October 2009
Posts: 445
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/25/2013 2:52:03 PM
We usually go to my sister's for holidays.
It's always been a stressful thing for me, though.
Anything involving food prep is stressful for me. I do get along w/my family, but I get very stressed out before any family gathering.

The past couple of years, we have bowed out of some holidays.

I know T-giving is only three days away, but I have this strong desire not to go to my sister's. Last year DH and I spent it on our own (he had had a tooth pulled the day before and couldn't really eat). I felt like it was a relief not to have to go.

Yet, I feel guilty, as if I have no right to spend the holidays in any other way. When I was growing up, NO ONE missed the "big holidays" at grandparents' houses. I feel like a traitor or something.

How about you? Do you ever just stay home on your own?

P.S. We don't have kids, and we wouldnt be going to any other relative's house. I just feel kind of tired out, and DH isn't feeling well this week.

awkward
BucketHead

PeaNut 295,825
February 2007
Posts: 922
Layouts: 3

Posted: 11/25/2013 2:56:38 PM
My family always gives everyone an "out" especially if there's any travel involved. They're flexible people, how would your family react?

Woobster
The Banana Under the Couch Pea

PeaNut 295,941
February 2007
Posts: 8,089
Layouts: 0
Loc: Somewhere over the rainbow...

Posted: 11/25/2013 2:57:25 PM
That's how we always did it growing up. It was just my family.

My mom still cooked most of the time, but there was no traveling and no stress. We saw family other times of the year.

Do what makes YOU happy.

looser
The Craft Curmudgeon

PeaNut 256,594
April 2006
Posts: 14,669
Layouts: 365


Count: 31
Posted: 11/25/2013 3:00:37 PM
If I could spend T-Day just by myself I would! A TV dinner or Turkey sub would be just fine by me!


Daniel R. Boone

purpledaisy
Calm

PeaNut 116,261
November 2003
Posts: 25,809
Layouts: 102

Posted: 11/25/2013 3:17:32 PM
We've done that in years past. We kind of do something different each year. If your dh is not feeling well, stay home. You have the perfect excuse.


Becca

May we be consumed with the Creator of all things rather than with things created.

6 rings - no cheating! Go STEELERS!

Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head.
Uploaded with iPhone client

Peabay
Happy now?

PeaNut 156,993
July 2004
Posts: 46,562
Layouts: 13
Loc: Connecticut

Posted: 11/25/2013 3:31:42 PM
I was just talking to someone whose husband is traveling and son is spending Thanksgiving with his girlfriend's family. She's thrilled. She said she's going to eat cheese and crackers and sit in front of the TV all day.



Mary_K
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 85,710
May 2003
Posts: 2,338
Layouts: 0
Loc: NW Washington

Posted: 11/25/2013 3:48:40 PM

She said she's going to eat cheese and crackers and sit in front of the TV all day.


OMG - That sounds like Heaven!

I'll be having 18 for dinner. sigh.

Mary K

crimsoncat05
PeaFixture

PeaNut 273,602
August 2006
Posts: 3,993
Layouts: 99
Loc: Phoenix, AZ area

Posted: 11/25/2013 3:56:02 PM
yes, it's usually just us two on Thanksgiving. I always tried to do up 'the whole shebang' with a duck, sweet potato casserole, potatoes, stuffing, vegetable, etc. etc. that would take hours to do .... and it always seemed to end in us fighting over something, and me tired out.

So this year I suggested that we might 'simplify' it somehow, because it seems like such a big production for just the two of us and for 15 minutes of eating. That suggestion didn't exactly go over well, so I'm not sure what we're doing. Probably just hanging out.

eta: cheese and crackers sounds like a good idea, actually! cheese, crackers, salami, veggies and dip... sounds like a plan!



"Accepting anything without question is the antithesis of critical thinking and education. ~wren*walk, 8/20/12"


ladyinblack1964
PeaNut

PeaNut 443,660
October 2009
Posts: 445
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/25/2013 4:31:11 PM
Last year we had a "field roast" and made a real pumpkin squash puree. It was really very nice.

Growing up, we always, always went to my dad's mother's for dinner, then went to the other grandmother's to visit. They lived in the same town, not far from where we lived. My husband's family doesn't live around here and they're not close, so we haven't gone there in years.

We've skipped a couple of holidays, and the world didn't stop spinning. I think they would accept it. In fact, my sister had outpatient surgery today, and I'm thinking maybe if she had two less people to feed, she might feel better. (I don't even know WHY she wants to host this year! but hey...)

JamieMN
BucketHead

PeaNut 142,548
April 2004
Posts: 993
Layouts: 13
Loc: my own little world

Posted: 11/25/2013 4:48:15 PM
We will be with my parents, but it will just be the 4 of us. This year we have decided not to do a turkey. We are doing marinated chicken wings as the main and some other items.

Hubby and I decided to do a turkey on Friday, but that's because we want the leftovers.

I'm happy to have a scaled back holiday this year.

Maryland
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 87,597
May 2003
Posts: 11,075
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/25/2013 4:56:21 PM
We always spend Thanksgiving with my husband's family 5 hrs. away. But one year we have been living 10 hrs. away and I had to work the day after Thanksgiving. My husband was off, so he went to his families and I just stayed at home. I just found out I was pregnant a few days before Thanksgiving, so I was so tired and just rested on Thanksgiving weekend (worked on Friday). He enjoyed the long weekend with family so that worked for him too. We went out to dinner for our celebration the day I told him I was pregnant, so it was a great time!



Pridemom
Pride of the Peas

PeaNut 25,575
December 2001
Posts: 19,818
Layouts: 45
Loc: Stuck in the Middle With You

Posted: 11/25/2013 5:25:28 PM
We spend the holidays usually at home with our kids. We try to invite others who live far from family to join us. This Thanksgiving we are having a Pea for dinner.




Proud Wife and Mom to four big goons!
I cannot be old enough to have three teens and a tween.

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially formed you to
go through it, not without pain but without stain.
-- C. S. Lewis

Uploaded with iPhone client

Just Lizzy
Original Pea #5005

PeaNut 19,817
August 2001
Posts: 20,981
Layouts: 54
Loc: On the rocky shores of life... AKA Mid-Missouri

Posted: 11/25/2013 6:43:52 PM
I just popped in to say that the last few years I have spent Thanksgiving alone, but this year a lovely pea has invited me to have dinner with her family. And guess who posted before me?


Feeder of Denali, Dakota, Shadow & Kai

MichyM
Macro PhotograPea

PeaNut 15,409
May 2001
Posts: 8,157
Layouts: 17
Loc: Queen Anne Hill

Posted: 11/25/2013 6:53:54 PM
About half our thanksgivings when my son was growing up was just me, my husband, and my son. I actually preferred it the other half of the time when we had a group of about 10 people. To me that seems like a good number.

This year is my first year on my own (son lives across the country and my husband and I split the beginning of the year). My other family members have passed on. I was "ok" being by myself and made plans to take a long walk with a couple of girlfriends that morning, and then come home and work on holiday gifts.

However a new friend of mine has invited me to join in at her house that afternoon/evening. While I have no idea what to expect, I'm looking forward to spending a few hours sharing a meal and visiting with others. With no family "issues" to deal with

That said, if you can bow out without bursting people's feelings, I'd just explain as best I could and enjoy the day at home, just the two of you.


Lauren




MichyM
Macro PhotograPea

PeaNut 15,409
May 2001
Posts: 8,157
Layouts: 17
Loc: Queen Anne Hill

Posted: 11/25/2013 6:54:48 PM
Oh and Pridemom and Just Lizzy....


Lauren




mommy_x3
BucketHead

PeaNut 300,181
February 2007
Posts: 653
Layouts: 0
Loc: right where I need to be

Posted: 11/25/2013 6:57:04 PM
This year dh and I decided to spend Thanksgiving on our own with just our 3 kids. I have hosted Thanksgiving for dh's family for the past 16 years. With spouses and kids the total has grown to 40. We used to do a potluck but then there were times when, despite offering to bring a certain dish, people would show up with nothing at all or they would stray from the "list" and everyone would show up with a pumpkin pie and we'd have no sides... Everyone is always critical about what we make or how we make it and for the days leading up to Thanksgiving it is very stressful for the 5 of us. So this year we voted to make it as stress free as possible. We got a hotel room about an hour away and we will be swimming, eating pizza, playing board games and watching movies for the holiday. The kids are thrilled!

MIL was not happy about our decision, not because we won't be together but only because that means someone else will have to be inconvenienced this year and no one else wants to do it.

I have so much to be thankful for and *this* year I I plan on focusing on that and I will be spending it with those I cherish most.

ladyinblack1964
PeaNut

PeaNut 443,660
October 2009
Posts: 445
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/25/2013 7:06:57 PM
That sounds like a great plan, with the hotel room etc.!

GramaSue
BucketHead

PeaNut 57,202
November 2002
Posts: 555
Layouts: 37
Loc: Central Ontario, Canada

Posted: 11/25/2013 7:28:52 PM
One year, we "boycotted" Thanksgiving. We were just so tired of having the kids over all the time for dinners and spending so much money and so much time on preparing meals, and cleaning up after them. So, we announced that we were not having Thanksgiving dinner that year. They were all shocked, of course. [Too bad] It's not like they weren't capable of having their own, or going to their in-laws. Actually, the usual question was "When is your dinner?" so that they could figure out how many free meals they could get from all the parents, as long as we all had different schedules for putting out the big spread.
Being Canadian, our Thanksgiving is in October. We went to the track [Fort Erie] and spent the afternoon watching the horses and placing a few bets. We had fun! After that, we stopped at a nice restaurant that was having a lovely buffet Thanksgiving dinner and had a lovely meal with all the trimmings.
I have to say I don't regret doing that, but we've never done it again, in spite of talking about it every Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas! The kids are all adults, have their own homes and families, but I think we have been invited to dinner at one of their places only once or twice for a holiday dinner. There's only two of us, how hard would it be to invite us and do a dinner once in a while?
If it's something that stresses you out, then just stay home and have your own celebration with the two of you. And be thankful for that!

Scrappersue
PeaNut

PeaNut 3,728
April 2000
Posts: 143
Layouts: 0
Loc: Washington

Posted: 11/25/2013 9:45:27 PM
The first year after my divorce my kids went with their dad for Thanksgiving. I could have travelled 2 hrs over 2 mountain passes to my moms house, but I just didn't want to. I stayed home and decorated for Christmas. I actually had a great time!


Uploaded with iPhone client

CADoodlebug
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy

PeaNut 178,445
November 2004
Posts: 18,132
Layouts: 0
Loc: Northern California

Posted: 11/25/2013 10:11:10 PM
This year it is just DH, DS and me. We love it! We're going to an early
showing of Hunger Games then we'll come home and I'll roast a small turkey with a few sides.


Joy

"I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me!"



Mary Kay Lady
I'm thinking . . .

PeaNut 367,913
March 2008
Posts: 5,459
Layouts: 0
Loc: The state of Confusion!

Posted: 11/25/2013 11:25:13 PM

If you DH isn't feeling well I think ya'll should stay home. He might be contagious. It's the perfect "out" for you. Enjoy your holiday.

My family lives a thousand miles away. I've never spent Thanksgiving with them. I've always celebrated in my own home. Some years we've had company, most of the time it's just us. This year it will be myself and my two sons.



www.marykay.com/sneff2

Hol-meister
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 274,252
August 2006
Posts: 2,244
Layouts: 0
Loc: Back in Eastern WA

Posted: 11/25/2013 11:31:37 PM
We are a family of 4 and my mom lives close. So it's usually just the 5 of us. I don't remember when it was more than us. We never go to anyone else's house, we don't have any other family here. We don't typically travel at Thanksgiving. This year we are going out to eat. None of us want to cook. DD isn't too happy about breaking tradition.


Holly
Uploaded with iPhone client

Mewcat
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 465,849
April 2010
Posts: 5,354
Layouts: 0
Loc: Southern, CA

Posted: 11/25/2013 11:48:10 PM
This year we have decided to just do Thanksgiving as a family, on our own. We were invited to other family members' houses, but I don't have the desire to go and deal with their drama.


~*Melissa*~

luvcookies
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 409,644
January 2009
Posts: 2,242
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/26/2013 5:26:19 AM
This year it's just 4 of us (me, my son, my dad and my niece.)

We were invited to my sisters but they eat late ( like 7pm ) then we'd have drive 2 hours home.

We all prefer to eat around noonish. Usually we have a few more but it's fine.

We are ordering Wegmans prepared dinner that you just have to heat up, then we are going to the movies.



Uploaded with iPhone client

dotingmom
PeaAddict

PeaNut 113,004
October 2003
Posts: 1,390
Layouts: 1
Loc: New Jersey

Posted: 11/26/2013 7:23:13 AM
Read the title of the post and had the immediate thought… I WISH!

I have no family left at this point in my life aside from DH and my kids I mean. BUT, I still end up cooking and cleaning and serving for 10 because his parents, his brother and nephews, and his uncle all come here. When I was younger I had patience for it, the past couple years since I hit 50, I just think it's a pain in the butt. I was actually happier last year when we had to go out because I was on crutches (just a bad sprain).


peano
Helicopter Dog Mom

PeaNut 43,034
July 2002
Posts: 6,992
Layouts: 4
Loc: Connecticut

Posted: 11/26/2013 7:34:37 AM
We are. DH's family has all moved away and we visited mine already this year.

After a crazy autumn and a week-long trip to Miami recently, it feels good to do our own quiet little Thanksgiving. DH is smoking a turkey, I'm doing the sides, and we're going to Catching Fire on Thanksgiving Day.


My stuff:
Canon 7D
Canon Rebel XT
kit lens 18-55mm
28-135mm IS 3.5-5.6
50mm 1.8
85mm 1.8
580EXII Speedlite
CS5
LR4




ladyinblack1964
PeaNut

PeaNut 443,660
October 2009
Posts: 445
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/28/2013 1:37:58 PM
I finally emailed my sister and told her we were staying home.
Now, I think, she is mad at me/us. I had to text her to ask if she even rec'd my email, and she wrote back two lines: "Yes I got your message. I wish I could say I wasn't disappointed."

Now I feel like a bit of a sh*t.

I guess everyone's just supposed to do what they've always done, unless they have a great excuse like, "I have the flu," or "I'm going to volunteer at a shelter." I doubt that the shelter would even be a good excuse.

Bingcherry
PeaFixture

PeaNut 198,489
March 2005
Posts: 3,254
Layouts: 8
Loc: Sunny Orlando, FL

Posted: 11/28/2013 1:45:05 PM
My husband and I cooked Thanksgiving dinner yesterday because I was supposed to work today. He had made plans to go to his friends house today so he wouldn't be alone. I ended up getting cancelled from the hospital today so I sent him on his merry way to his friends house and I am all alone peaing and checking out the sale ads. I am going to clean the house and then study a bit for a test I have next week.

I love peace and quiet.

We don't have family nearby so we don't have to worry about upsetting anyone.




Burning Feather
I conceived but I can't see you

PeaNut 158,336
July 2004
Posts: 37,887
Layouts: 3
Loc: Ain't no black widow serial killer going to get between me and my man

Posted: 11/28/2013 1:54:48 PM
You know, people are always at different points in their lives than other family members might be at that time. There are times that the big, traditional, being surrounded by family event might be important in your life. And there are times that just having a down day where you can stay in your pajamas, watch football, and eat frozen pizza is what you need.

You don't have to feel bad about being at a different point than other family members this year.


Carla




kaferber
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 100,378
August 2003
Posts: 2,186
Layouts: 481
Loc: Maryland

Posted: 11/28/2013 2:24:44 PM
I am this year. I ran a 5K this morning and have enjoyed doing nothing but spending time with my cat and 2 hedgehogs. I have been watching football and have pork/sauerkraut in the crockpot. And I am going to bake chocolate chip cookies for dessert. The only thing I miss is having stuffing and sweet potatoes but those I can make anytime.

I am enjoying it immensely.



Kelly

Mom to my three sweet furry girls.... Hope, my cat & Zoe and Bailey, my hedgehogs.

LJsMom
BucketHead

PeaNut 121,836
January 2004
Posts: 523
Layouts: 11
Loc: Long Beach, CA

Posted: 11/28/2013 2:31:37 PM
Our DD (6 yrs old) came down with strep throat. She is on the mend but Dr said no go to thanksgiving with small cousins. We quickly reacted and got stuff to throw together a small feast, just the 4 of us. Beats having to drive the hour to my sister's. A bit ago I joked I was DD to get strep every year. We are relaxing, kids are playing. Kinda nice.


Random Soccer Mom thoughts: Soccer Mom Musings


MissMeegz127
PeaNut

PeaNut 596,666
October 2013
Posts: 78
Layouts: 0
Posted: 11/28/2013 3:37:17 PM
This is the first year that I'm alone for most of the day anyways. Normally we would go out to dinner with my mom, brother, sister in law and her parents. However my mom passed away in august so I really wasn't looking forward to today. I received many invites to visit and eat with friends and family which at first sounded like a good idea. However today I decided that all I wanted to do is have lunch with my brother and sister in law and then do some early Black Friday shopping. So far it's been relaxing and I'm enjoying myself. I even have a small prepared turkey dinner in my fridge in case I get hungry later.
Uploaded with iPhone client

ladyinblack1964
PeaNut

PeaNut 443,660
October 2009
Posts: 445
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/28/2013 4:05:03 PM
You guys rock! Thanks for listening and being so supportive.

I just took a peak at some of my journals for the past several years. I wrote about: being late for dinner (we just have a hard time getting our act together), family members acting inappropriately (one year my mom practically had a fit and made DSis and her family leave our brother's house early, leaving all the desserts we had labored for HOURS to make), being up all night preparing food, bratty kids, snooty in-laws...

Yes, I needed a good reminder why every year, I say, "This is it--next year, we're staying home."

Still not sure what we'll do for Xmas, but I feel better about being home w/just the two of us on Thanksgiving.

ladyinblack1964
PeaNut

PeaNut 443,660
October 2009
Posts: 445
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/28/2013 4:08:12 PM
You guys rock! Thanks for listening and being so supportive.

I just took a peak at some of my journals for the past several years. I wrote about: being late for dinner (we just have a hard time getting our act together), family members acting inappropriately (one year my mom practically had a fit and made DSis and her family leave our brother's house early, leaving all the desserts we had labored for HOURS to make), being up all night preparing food, bratty kids, snooty in-laws...

Yes, I needed a good reminder why every year, I say, "This is it--next year, we're staying home."

Still not sure what we'll do for Xmas, but I feel better about being home w/just the two of us on Thanksgiving.

ladyinblack1964
PeaNut

PeaNut 443,660
October 2009
Posts: 445
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/28/2013 4:08:35 PM
You guys rock! Thanks for listening and being so supportive.

I just took a peak at some of my journals for the past several years. I wrote about: being late for dinner (we just have a hard time getting our act together), family members acting inappropriately (one year my mom practically had a fit and made DSis and her family leave our brother's house early, leaving all the desserts we had labored for HOURS to make), being up all night preparing food, bratty kids, snooty in-laws...

Yes, I needed a good reminder why every year, I say, "This is it--next year, we're staying home."

Still not sure what we'll do for Xmas, but I feel better about being home w/just the two of us on Thanksgiving.

ladyinblack1964
PeaNut

PeaNut 443,660
October 2009
Posts: 445
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/28/2013 4:08:37 PM
You guys rock! Thanks for listening and being so supportive.

I just took a peak at some of my journals for the past several years. I wrote about: being late for dinner (we just have a hard time getting our act together), family members acting inappropriately (one year my mom practically had a fit and made DSis and her family leave our brother's house early, leaving all the desserts we had labored for HOURS to make), being up all night preparing food, bratty kids, snooty in-laws...

Yes, I needed a good reminder why every year, I say, "This is it--next year, we're staying home."

Still not sure what we'll do for Xmas, but I feel better about being home w/just the two of us on Thanksgiving.

TexasBorn
PeaNut

PeaNut 543,185
February 2012
Posts: 425
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/28/2013 9:40:09 PM
I keep thinking life is too short to let ourselves get stressed out over crazy families but like every body else we all have one at times.
My youngest sister turned 50 last week and she said she can now be old.
My youngest daughter had Thanksgiving at her house this year. She is 35, single, has a 13 and 16 yr. old works full time and has a part time job and will get her bachelors degree in May. Plus she had her gall bladder removed almost 2 weeks ago. Oh to be young again.

TexasBorn
PeaNut

PeaNut 543,185
February 2012
Posts: 425
Layouts: 0

Posted: 11/28/2013 9:40:52 PM
I keep thinking life is too short to let ourselves get stressed out over crazy families but like every body else we all have one at times.
My youngest sister turned 50 last week and she said she can now be old.
My youngest daughter had Thanksgiving at her house this year. She is 35, single, has a 13 and 16 yr. old works full time and has a part time job and will get her bachelors degree in May. Plus she had her gall bladder removed almost 2 weeks ago. Oh to be young again.
Show/Hide Icons . Show/Hide Signatures
Hide
{{ title }}
{{ icon }}
{{ body }}
{{ footer }}