S/O NOT a drama free Thanksgiving

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Posted 11/28/2013 by MaryMux in NSBR Board
 

MaryMux
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Posted: 11/28/2013 6:12:08 PM
I am cowering with my laptop as my SIL just ripped my BIL (inlaws themselves) a new one about some Christmas gift he gave her years ago and for that reason we are NOT exchanging gifts this year.

Wow....uncomfortable and awkward and so uncalled for


Now tell me what happened today with you all that was awkward or uncomfortable....

I'll be hugging my laptop a safe distance from the fray....

PinkShirley
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Posted: 11/28/2013 6:15:20 PM
I'm so sorry you are having to put up with that. Episodes like that would make me say "thank you" to the host and make an immediate exit to the car.

If it's your home, you can always give them two big pillows and show them the front door...

KittenOnTheKeys
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Posted: 11/28/2013 6:18:39 PM
Sorry that happened.

We spent the day with friends, not family. It was peaceful.

mikklynn
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 11/28/2013 6:20:27 PM
Nothing this year. A few years ago DH's nut job sister called on Wednesday and yelled and screamed at me, crying because we didn't invite her for Thanksgiving. Well, we haven't had Thanksgiving with any of DH's family in 10 years. We all agreed to spend it with our own families. She has 2 grown daughters.

I STILL didn't invite her because of the way she screamed at me. If she had asked nicely, I would have. Then the next day I got a call from one of their brothers chewing me out! I handed the phone to DH who said "why would we invite her? We haven't in 10 years!"

There is a LOT of backstory about this sister. She has been downright vicious to our daughter, without reason.

This year was lovely, just our family and my parents.


Lynn



AKathy
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Posted: 11/28/2013 6:21:36 PM
My DD and her family live two short blocks from me. She has my 10 year old and soon to be 12 year old grandsons. The rule at my house is if you start fighting, you have to go home. I end up sending them home almost every time they're here together and today was no exception at least they waited until after dinner and dessert

I'd have no qualms telling your BIL and SIL my house rule and none enforcing it either. You poor thing, that's got to be miserable for everyone else!


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MaryMux
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Posted: 11/28/2013 6:27:17 PM
Not my house...counting the hours til we leave....

GramaSue
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Posted: 11/28/2013 6:36:32 PM
Hopefully, it won't be hours ... I could not put up with that. Family fights should be private. You must feel so uncomfortable! Can't you develop a severe headache or something and have to leave? LOL. Hope it all settles down soon!

smilesnpeacesigns
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Posted: 11/28/2013 8:01:34 PM
{{{HUGS}}}

When I grew up all the Holidays were filled with drama, my Mom was the Drama Queen! We all quit going to Holidays at her house after my Dad passed away.


Even with the snark, trolls and spelling police you are a great group of ladies!

SueSume
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Posted: 11/28/2013 8:06:47 PM
I MUST know---what on earth was the horrible gift that caused the (delayed) no gift exchange action?


*********Sue Who? *******


Reality is made up of words.-Ferdinando Buscema

Words are hard.-Hannah Kelly



NSBR: "We're like a big damn disfunctional family. We'll beat the crap out of each other, and it's ok, but dammit, if an outsider turns on one of ours, we circle the wagons." -Free~Bird
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Deena714
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Posted: 11/28/2013 8:07:45 PM
Oh boy. Gotta love inlaws fighting.

It was just the three of us for dinner this year - because of drama a few weeks ago. But it was great. The dog was happy because she got some leftovers. And my husband and I were happy because it was so quiet and easy.


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*ingrid*
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Posted: 11/28/2013 8:12:31 PM
That's really uncomfortable to be around, I'm so sorry

I agree with Sue though, I've got to hear about this gift.

I dated a guy whose family would drink to much and end up fighting about the most bizarre stuff. It's the only family I've ever been around that went full-on nutso around the holidays and I remember feeling like I wanted to get the heck out of there so badly. It isn't fun at all.



schizo319
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Posted: 11/28/2013 8:15:19 PM
I grossly overestimated the amount of time the turkey would need, then mom called and had forgotten to turn her oven on, so she was going to be about 1/2 an hour late. That was it here, but it was only 4 of us, so that reduces the drama quotient by quite a bit. Used to have all sorts of drama when we still heard from dad's side of the family. It can really screw up a holiday, I'm sorry you had to endure that today.



lana
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Posted: 11/28/2013 8:23:28 PM
I spent the day at my daughter and son-in-law's house with my EX mil, EX bil, EX hubby and his new wife... And had a very pleasant afternoon!

MaryMux
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Posted: 11/28/2013 8:34:53 PM
We are on the road
So I just got the scoop from DH since it was before my time....more then 8 years ago but DH couldn't remember

They were a pair of gloves that she found to be cheap and ill fitting and they went straight to Goodwill...so I guess she has grudgingly been exchanging gifts all these years and finally said this year she was having none of it!

It was just weird how she went off...needless to say there must be
more under the surface to their relationship then just a pair of gloves!!!
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pretzels
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Posted: 11/28/2013 8:36:59 PM
My side of the family had Thanksgiving at my brother's house. It was my brother, his wife and their 5-year-old, me, my DH and our two teen/tween kids, my mom and dad, and my unmedicated bipolar sister's two kids (9 and 6). She is crazytown, 110 percent.

My brother has two dogs: an older big dog and a Basset hound. My sister's kids, who have never been scared of either dog before, freaked out when they got in the house because of the dogs. So my brother put the dogs in a bedroom.

After we ate, the kids were in my nephew's bedroom playing and the dogs were whining. My SIL told the kids she was letting the dogs out for a bit and shut the bedroom door.

The bigger dog went back to the bedroom after a while, but the Basset hung out for a bit. He is a very calm, sweet dog.

My DH decided to go talk to the kids in the bedroom and let the door open a bit. The dog came in the bedroom and my nephew freaked out. The dog wasn't jumping or anything; he was just standing there.

My mom got all huffy and started crying and packing to leave.

I'm not going to be an audience to her drama, so we left. DH feels really bad that my nephew freaked and he apologized, but it wasn't accepted.

So whatever. I was mostly done with my mom and now I can totally let go.


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MaryMux
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Posted: 11/28/2013 8:40:42 PM
Oh and not a drop of alcohol was consumed!


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SweetieBugs
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Posted: 11/28/2013 8:54:58 PM
My MIL mentioned something about last weeks Amazing Race episode so I asked, "who do you hope wins". My FIL pipes in super loud "WHO CARES"!!! Nice huh. He is so beligerent he was arguing with his wife and my husband before he even got in the house. So, so annoying. I'm just fed up with his toxic behavior (he always argues and he thinks he is always right but he is mostly wrong).

On the plus side, my SIL brought me a hostess gift. However, it was pancake mix she expects me to use for breakfast tomorrow for everyone and it's gluten free so we'll see how great of gift that really was.

SueSume
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Posted: 11/28/2013 9:06:55 PM
Hey Sweetie Bugs,
It's a start!
May she contribute even more next year!


*********Sue Who? *******


Reality is made up of words.-Ferdinando Buscema

Words are hard.-Hannah Kelly



NSBR: "We're like a big damn disfunctional family. We'll beat the crap out of each other, and it's ok, but dammit, if an outsider turns on one of ours, we circle the wagons." -Free~Bird
Used with permission & with 9% royality fee paid annually. Starting next year. Honest.

IScrapCrap
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Posted: 11/28/2013 9:10:15 PM

Now tell me what happened today with you all that was awkward or uncomfortable....


I told my BIL he was an a$$hole before Thanksgiving. We avoided the awkwardness and didn't go to the family dinner (well and my son would not do well traveling over 10 hours). Does that kind of count?

Nani ke Ola
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Posted: 11/28/2013 11:19:06 PM
It was small, just dh, my parents and brother. Everything was going great until the end of dinner when my mom started in on her depressive - "in the future just send me to a home, I don't expect either of you to care for me" speech.
Then proceeded to tell my brother he was a wonderful man and that I was trying. Yea. Left 5 min after that crap. Sorry mom that I decided to go to university and try to get an education instead of going into Boeing as a line (wo)man.


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Darkchami
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Posted: 11/29/2013 12:47:09 AM
No huge drama. I did have to take a deep breath at one point. My SIL explained to me that she is glad my niece is getting married young. She doesn't want her to end up like me, unable to have children. I calmly explained that getting married at 30 didn't cause the issue.


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Swordscrapping
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Posted: 11/29/2013 1:15:39 AM
Ours are usually drama free but DH got a random, out of the blue late night "your the worst dad ever and you ruined my life" call from his adult dd.

So we ended on a drama note.


JenKate77
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Posted: 11/29/2013 1:23:16 AM
We were almost 100% drama free, which is pretty impressive with 36 of us here for dinner.

A few hours after dinner some of the little kids went into the garage and drew on the walls and the floor and Granddad's truck... but that was the extent of it!

danammm
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Posted: 11/29/2013 2:09:13 AM
We had a lot of dh's family here, and I mostly like all of them, but neither one of us gets along with his mother. She is rude and negative and pretty mean to me (in a very passive aggressive way. But my sister-in-law can't see it, so insists on mom coming along) (long story). Anyway, MIL has lots of mental health issues, but is better behaved when there are strangers around, so we invited friends who were alone for the day.

It was two-fold, we wanted them to not be alone, but we also wanted to give MIL a reason to behave. Well, a LOT of people took us up on our offer, and it was a great and fun day! Lots of laughter and interaction. For everyone except MIL who couldn't be mean to me without other people noticing.

I am sure she'll call dh tomorrow and complain that I "ruined" a "family holiday" by trying to have a loud, drunken party with my friends. And I wasn't *that* drunk..... lol (I drank some wine, but I didn't get drunk until she left.)


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Dana in OR not MN
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AngelKriC
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Posted: 11/29/2013 7:05:09 AM
We had a very low key thanksgiving. Only my dad and step-mother came over. My dad is EXTREMELY 'right' when it comes to politics and I'm a bleeding heart liberal. Typically we don't discuss politics and we do ok. Today, he wouldn't shut the hell up and some of the crap he was spewing makes some here seem sane, it's that bad. I'm usually able to roll my eyes and ignore him, but this time he was going too far and I told him, "we're done!" He replied, "No, we're not." Um, excuse me? You don't come into MY house, spewing your conspiracy theory BS and tell me we're not done when I ask you to stop. My step-mom, love her heart, stepped in the middle and told him to shut up. I think she knew that we were about to ask him to leave.

Then he went and sat down and tried to start poisoning my son's brain with his shit. I told him not to spread his propaganda onto my children and he said that I was the one who was brainwashed. Ok.

I have republican friends. Ones that we even discuss politics. However, they don't knock on the door of the tea party. We can respectfully agree to disagree and still remain close. He REALLY soured me today and I'm pretty sure it did some permanent damage to our relationship. I think some of the crap he was saying probably made the tea party look sane as well. I don't know where he gets his info, but I think he wears a tin foil hat to receive it.


Krissy

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Peabay
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Posted: 11/29/2013 7:31:07 AM
If my sil tells my bil (they are siblings) to lower his voice one more time, I'm going to lose it. They are ALL loud. He is no louder than anyone else, but she feels this need to ride his ass and it makes everyone crazy. They are in their 50s and she is saying things like: "Please! Use your indoor voice!"

They all slept over last night and everyone's still sleeping. At least for right now I don't have to listen to her treat him like he's a 5 year old.



Sharon K
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Posted: 11/29/2013 7:42:05 AM
We almost made it.
Was just going to be my two sons and their families. The one sons ex brought their 2 kids, traveled 2 1/2 hours to do this. She brought her 13 year old son from another relationship, fine, we have watched him grow up and he was always a little sweetheart.
They came Wed. evening and spent the night here, she treated us all to dinner, and he complained the whole time, I'm not going tomorrow, didn't want to come in the first place, I just want to go home. Thursday morning he starts in on his mom again, look at all these sales, you need to go get me these games for X-mas. She told him, I didn't come here to shop, we are not going to any stores. We came here so your little brother and sister can spend today with this part of their family. He would NOT shut up, no matter what she did.
Finally she told my son, he is being such a problem, we will just go home, I can't let him ruin everyone's day by his nasty attitude.
My son asked him why he was giving his mom such a hard time? His response, "It's just who I am" My son told him, well you need to straighten your act up and let your mom enjoy the day.
Then it happened, this 13 year old punk, looked at my son and said, "F@#$ you"

My son told him, "You are in our house now, and I don't care if you are my son or not, you will not talk like that, to anyone". The kid got up, walked out the door, flipped my son off and got in his mother's car.
Yep, they left, he won, got his way by being an obnoxious, rude little asshole. His mother called later in tears, he had been hitting her all the way home while she was driving.
Thankful she took him, but felt so bad for her.


~~Sharon~~




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jeremysgirl
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Posted: 11/29/2013 11:05:42 AM
So my mom asked me to bring the stuffing and I made mine in the crockpot. I get there and my mom opens the oven and her turkey is stuffed!! Her boyfriend threw a fit about stuffing being too dry if it was made outside of the bird so she stuffed it. Did I mention that I'm allergic to sage? So no turkey, no gravy as she made it with the turkey drippings for me. And my mother acted completely stupid about it, like I could just go ahead and eat the turkey anyway because she was sure none of the sage from the stuffing got on the turkey. Never in my life has my mother been so thoughtless, I don't know what to make of it. Then, I felt like I had totally wasted my time making stuffing when she did the same thing. So I ate nothing but side dishes but everyone commented on how great my stuffing was. Everyone ate mine, not hers. Even her boyfriend, who caused the whole problem said that he was so surprised my stuffing wasn't dry at all. Well, duh! I was so pissed she did that without even considering my allergy and then acted like I should just eat it anyway.

yivit
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Posted: 11/29/2013 11:56:52 AM
There wasn't much drama, but it wasn't the tension-free gathering I was hoping for either. My cousin showed up with his latest fiancee (he was dating my next-door neighbor this summer but dumped her when she didn't want to move her and her kids in with him, then he moved (I'm assuming) this one in a week later). I expected him or my uncle to make some homophobic remark (like they usually do), but they didn't - that kept me from standing beside my brother and his partner and walking out (which we were ready to do). My middle sister showed up with my nephew (it was anyone's guess as to whether they would show or not) and she acted as though everything was unicorns and rainbows (even though we hadn't seen each other or talked since last Christmas, including her not calling, coming by, attending the memorial service or even sending a damned card in September when DH passed away). I was on the noon-to-six shift for monitoring things for work so that gave me an out on having to actually engage in any small talk with her.

I'm SO looking forward to a repeat at Christmas.



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LemonaideLinda
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Posted: 11/29/2013 12:01:30 PM
I'm sorry your Thanksgiving was tense and stressful because of family members' bickering. When things like this happen, I really have to ask myself if the day is worth it.

Pardon the slight hijack:

My cousin showed up with his latest fiancee (he was dating my next-door neighbor this summer but dumped her when she didn't want to move her and her kids in with him, then he moved (I'm assuming) this one in a week later).


I have always marveled how such Prize Winners as your cousin, find "the next one" so quickly.

PEAcefulmind
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Posted: 11/29/2013 12:27:50 PM

Posted: 11/29/2013 7:42:05 AM
We almost made it.
Was just going to be my two sons and their families. The one sons ex brought their 2 kids, traveled 2 1/2 hours to do this. She brought her 13 year old son from another relationship, fine, we have watched him grow up and he was always a little sweetheart.
They came Wed. evening and spent the night here, she treated us all to dinner, and he complained the whole time, I'm not going tomorrow, didn't want to come in the first place, I just want to go home. Thursday morning he starts in on his mom again, look at all these sales, you need to go get me these games for X-mas. She told him, I didn't come here to shop, we are not going to any stores. We came here so your little brother and sister can spend today with this part of their family. He would NOT shut up, no matter what she did.
Finally she told my son, he is being such a problem, we will just go home, I can't let him ruin everyone's day by his nasty attitude.
My son asked him why he was giving his mom such a hard time? His response, "It's just who I am" My son told him, well you need to straighten your act up and let your mom enjoy the day.
Then it happened, this 13 year old punk, looked at my son and said, "F@#$ you"

My son told him, "You are in our house now, and I don't care if you are my son or not, you will not talk like that, to anyone". The kid got up, walked out the door, flipped my son off and got in his mother's car.
Yep, they left, he won, got his way by being an obnoxious, rude little asshole. His mother called later in tears, he had been hitting her all the way home while she was driving.
Thankful she took him, but felt so bad for her.


~~Sharon~~




OH HOLY CRAP NO!

That poor mother and for that 13-yr old snot to be that awful and disrespectful and win. UGH. I want to just smack him!

Sharon K
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Posted: 11/29/2013 12:32:50 PM
^^^^EXACTLY^^^^
I would've loved to have smacked his teeth down his throat and broken his finger!!


~~Sharon~~




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yivit
I thought this was an autonomous collective

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Posted: 11/29/2013 1:17:12 PM

I have always marveled how such Prize Winners as your cousin, find "the next one" so quickly.

It amazes me too. At least with this one he didn't propose at Christmas like with the other two. The sad thing is that he and my neighbor (and their parents) have known each other for a long time (the parents since before cousin and neighbor were born) and are all involved in local FFA and rodeo. It made for some awkwardness this fall during rodeo. Neighbor started off saying she didn't want to say anything bad about my cousin until I told her it was okay and I knew he was an asshole.



If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

AngelKriC
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Posted: 11/29/2013 2:52:32 PM
Sharon - that makes me so sad for her. I hope she's getting professional help for both her and her son.


Krissy

"My husband said it was the scrapbooking or him, so I took some pictures of him packing and made the cutest pages ever!"
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