My Dogs Attacked Baby Jesus - Updated in OP
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 12/9/2005 by Dharma in NSBR Board
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LOST-IN-WEST-TEXAS
Kickin' @ss and takin' names!

PeaNut 132,147
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Posted: 12/23/2008 8:41:06 AM
BTT for Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





"Sweet mercy this has got to be the worst post ever. Bah screw it. I'm clickin' submit. - Lucky

"Seriously, only on this message board would you find advice about using a vibrator on the same page as advice about how to pour lime over a dead body.

God I love Two Peas." - Burning Feather 9/20/09


Peppermintpatty
Mother of Benedict Cumberbatch's love child

PeaNut 279,995
October 2006
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Posted: 12/23/2008 9:23:52 AM
Give it a break. Dogs not on a leash? Sheesh.

This thread always makes me laugh.

Thanks.





kateloves2scrap
Hap"PEA" to be me!

PeaNut 308,161
April 2007
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Posted: 12/23/2008 11:10:40 AM
this is still one of my favorite posts!!!

BTT


Happy Summer!


EllJayJay
PeaFixture

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Posted: 12/23/2008 12:13:23 PM
This never ceases being funny! So glad to see this back on top of the board -- just in time for Christmas!


--Laura
********************************************
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God." -- Marianne Williamson, "A Return to Love"

pixie pink

PeaNut 48,314
September 2002
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Posted: 7/6/2009 10:01:37 PM
OK that was funny!



*Michelley*
Bitch, please

PeaNut 117,887
November 2003
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Posted: 7/6/2009 10:05:27 PM
Love this thread.


Michelle
Mommy to Sasha and Tommy

"I believe if life gives you lemons you should make lemonade, then try to find
someone whose life has given them vodka...and have a party" - Ron White


lovetodigi
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 257,022
April 2006
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Posted: 7/6/2009 10:11:24 PM
That was so funny. I could almost see it going down.

mangodog
Vintage Loving Pea

PeaNut 186,782
January 2005
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Posted: 7/6/2009 10:12:43 PM
Thanks so much for bumping this - it is hilarious!!



boosmom02
PeaAddict

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October 2004
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Posted: 7/6/2009 10:14:11 PM
Legendary.

I love it when this one gets bumped. I wonder how long we could keep it here on page one? LOL


I DON'T MULTI-TASK; I MULTI-SLACK!

lucyg819
pearl-clutching nitpicker

PeaNut 201,774
April 2005
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Posted: 7/7/2009 1:24:54 AM
doin' my part to keep it on page 1.

hee hee hee


LUCYG
northern california

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."
--Bertrand Russell



SuffyAnn

PeaNut 181,774
December 2004
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Posted: 7/7/2009 1:37:52 AM
The bestest, funniest thing I have ever read anywhere. If Dharma would just add her OP to the front cover of a book, she'd be a fricken millionaire. Just keep tellin' your fabulously funny stories, Dharma!



dynardr
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 367,106
March 2008
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Posted: 7/7/2009 5:51:55 AM
So glad I opened this!! I needed to start this day off with a good laugh!!

Peppermintpatty
Mother of Benedict Cumberbatch's love child

PeaNut 279,995
October 2006
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Loc: Rockville, MD

Posted: 7/7/2009 7:49:48 AM
Ahh yes, good old Baby Jesus. Good times, good times.





frugalchick
PeaNut

PeaNut 240,966
January 2006
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Loc: In the KitchenAid mixer bowl......

Posted: 7/7/2009 8:46:44 AM
I have started my 'Christmas in July' ornament crafting, so this thread fits in quite nicely! rofl........ AND it is still just as hilarious today as it was the first time I ever read it!




~frugalchick~

Brandy327
WWP

PeaNut 122,227
January 2004
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Posted: 7/7/2009 8:59:44 AM
This one only gets better each time I read it!!





disney834
GirlScoutPea

PeaNut 52,050
October 2002
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Posted: 7/7/2009 9:07:42 AM
Respect the classics, man.

Our favorite 2peas Christmas story. Now if we just had the 2peas Thanksgiving turkey story still...:

mythreeboys
Lady of Ledgers

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October 2002
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Posted: 7/7/2009 10:16:17 AM


Wife to my sweetie for 18 years

Mommy to:
Timothy - Feb/00
Benjamin - Jun/02
Gabriel - Sep/05

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." - Thomas S. Monson

frugalchick
PeaNut

PeaNut 240,966
January 2006
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Loc: In the KitchenAid mixer bowl......

Posted: 11/27/2009 8:19:35 PM
btt for the upcoming season....




~frugalchick~

love labs
10,000,000 post poster

PeaNut 143,394
April 2004
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Posted: 11/27/2009 8:21:46 PM
Thanks, frugalchick! This has to be one of my all-time favorite threads!

Now I can get in the holiday mood!

ETA: HEY! Where's the OP???


----------------------------------------------------------

If life is a journey, shouldn't you be moving along?

beadhound
Do I have you on ignore too?

PeaNut 233,604
November 2005
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Posted: 11/27/2009 8:22:07 PM
Thank you frugalchick, I was just thinking about this thread this week. The season wouldn't be complete without it.

eta: Well carp, the original op is gone




Pea-T-A-Mom
Scrapmaven is stalkin my Kitteh!

PeaNut 159,334
July 2004
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Posted: 11/27/2009 8:23:00 PM
Wait, where's the OP????


~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~


dizzypea
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 246,912
February 2006
Posts: 2,789
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Posted: 11/27/2009 8:27:53 PM
My very favorite pea holiday story ever! Where did the op go? Bummer.

Chopped Liver *U*
Running from the drama llama

PeaNut 43,514
July 2002
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Loc: South Jersey

Posted: 11/27/2009 8:28:35 PM
Are all Dharma's posts gone?


Sam



I live to die another day...until I fade away. Until the End

frugalchick
PeaNut

PeaNut 240,966
January 2006
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Loc: In the KitchenAid mixer bowl......

Posted: 11/27/2009 8:30:01 PM


I just bumped it....what the crap happened to the original content?!




~frugalchick~

**ScrapWench**
Seems a pity to miss such a good pudding.

PeaNut 247,139
February 2006
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Posted: 11/27/2009 8:31:31 PM
I was opening this thread, anticipating a good laugh and the OP is gone!
What is the deal?


----Theresa

Velouria
Pixie Pea

PeaNut 41,800
July 2002
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Posted: 11/27/2009 8:40:03 PM
Oh, this sucks. This was one of the best threads ever.



shelley36
She who peas to avoid grading papers

PeaNut 9,119
January 2001
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Posted: 11/27/2009 8:50:05 PM
SO.VERY.SAD to see the op gone. I hope it wasn't because she got crap for not having her dog on a leash.

Truly, this was one of the funniest threads EVAH.

Shelely in WA


Ya Ya Princess Had-it-up-to-here

lovetodigi
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 257,022
April 2006
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Posted: 11/27/2009 9:15:06 PM
I would love to read the OP if someone has a copy of it. Sounds like it was really good. I always seem to miss the good stuff.

Just Lizzy
Original Pea #5005

PeaNut 19,817
August 2001
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Posted: 11/27/2009 9:27:25 PM
All that remains is the punch line:

I am so sick, all I could do was moan and point while SO chased them down the street screaming "Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"


Feeder of Denali, Dakota, Shadow & Kai

Goddss
It's all about the Shoes

PeaNut 119,192
December 2003
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Posted: 11/27/2009 9:28:42 PM
BWA HA HA!!!

Best ever. It doesn't matter how many times I read this. Tears are streaming down my face in laughter.

but today I just have the memory of the laughter. BRING back the OP!!!

M



Holy Heack I have a BLOG!!! http://goddss.blogspot.com/


SuffyAnn

PeaNut 181,774
December 2004
Posts: 7,862
Layouts: 17

Posted: 11/28/2009 12:47:18 AM
Where's the damn OP? Oh no, it can't be gone. How messed up is that?



SuffyAnn

PeaNut 181,774
December 2004
Posts: 7,862
Layouts: 17

Posted: 11/28/2009 12:49:50 AM
No posts showing under her name and now they only go back six months? I wish they would tell us when they change the formats!



greenmatter
BucketHead

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August 2009
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Posted: 11/28/2009 3:32:34 AM
what did i miss...someone recite from memory


Don't Worry Be Happy!

**GypsyGirl**
Well, Bless Her Heart.......

PeaNut 142,890
April 2004
Posts: 15,940
Layouts: 1
Loc: I am Switzerland!

Posted: 11/28/2009 9:04:37 AM
Here is the story to the best of my recollection:

Dharma has 2 dogs. Neighbors have a nativity set in their yard. Dogs escape and attack the nativity set. The donkey is barked at and hay goes flying. Then one of the dogs steals Baby Jesus from the manger and runs down the street. Dharma and SO pursue the dogs, which brought this quote:


I am so sick, all I could do was moan and point while SO chased them down the street screaming "Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"


Baby Jesus is retrieved but is mangled. SO wants to give him to the dogs, but Dharma refuses and Baby Jesus is hid in the garage.

The dogs were bummed and we hid the mangled child in our garage.


She and SO then go out in search of replacement Baby Jesus for neighbors. Turns out after talking to other neighbors that said nativity set was purchased in the 1970's from a door-to-door salesman. This neighbor happens to have the set in garage and gives them the Baby Jesus.

They go to neighbors to explain the situation and give them replacement Baby Jesus. DH of the couple is furious and threatens to call the sheriff on them.

If anyone else can add to the story, please do so!

So now whenever there is a news story about a missing Baby Jesus from a nativity set, someone will come to the NSBR and post, asking Dharma if her dogs have been in the vicinity of the missing Baby Jesus!

Good times! Definitely my favorite 2Peas post ever!



Toni
Professional Expat Wife, Hell Holes are my Specialty!


Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Lao Tzu (604 BC - 531 BC)



scrap4maddie
Sometimes you harm the cause more than you help.

PeaNut 175,985
November 2004
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Posted: 11/28/2009 9:19:52 AM
I can't believe the best thread in NSBR history is gone.


~Erica~







mpscraps
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 52,226
October 2002
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Posted: 11/28/2009 9:21:20 AM
Man, I saw this and was so looking forward to reading it again.

LolaBee
I worked hard for this title

PeaNut 116,596
November 2003
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Posted: 11/28/2009 9:26:55 AM
Dharma is gone? WHY? And this thread is my favorite of all time. WHY is it gone? What happened?????



queenofshoes
PEAce, Love & Shoes

PeaNut 93,437
June 2003
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Posted: 11/28/2009 11:05:03 AM
I loved this story....so sad that the original post is gone.

Lesa



Kelpea
Owner of "best tacky invitation" thread EVER

PeaNut 176,832
November 2004
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Loc: Stalking Dave Gahan

Posted: 11/28/2009 11:49:12 AM
So mad. Doesn't SOMEONE in Peadom have the link????????



wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack sniffer!

PeaNut 29,699
February 2002
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Loc: SE Washington

Posted: 12/12/2009 1:45:22 PM
Okay, someone HAD to have copied the OP and saved it, right? This was a classic!


Kris
Mom to Kyrie(11), Isaiah(9), and Jayden(6)
my blog


jganote
StuckOnPeas

PeaNut 150,991
June 2004
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Loc: southeast

Posted: 12/12/2009 2:27:48 PM
No Way!!!! Where is it?!?!?!?!

I have been waiting to see this again - I was talking to me husband the other night about this - and soooo wanted to read him the original.

Surely somebody had the original thread?

I can't believe it's gone


Jennifer



"give me chocolate...or I will cut you"

mackeysmom
AncestralPea

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Posted: 12/12/2009 4:16:43 PM
Awww I liked it too. I think the owners of the nativity wanted the mangeled baby back too. It was a pea classic




People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. George Orwell
** For those who have fought for it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never know. *MIA<>POW*

lascrapper
PeaAddict

PeaNut 12,690
March 2001
Posts: 1,842
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Loc: Minnesota

Posted: 12/12/2009 5:02:46 PM
It's a tragedy--the best Pea post ever is GONE! I can laugh just thinking about the memory, though!

WiiPii
Dirty little freaks!

PeaNut 374,795
May 2008
Posts: 7,583
Layouts: 0
Loc: too far away....

Posted: 12/12/2009 5:04:15 PM
That makes me so sad. Not just that the post is gone but that it appears Dharma is gone too.

This was one of the best posts ever in NSBR history.

I feel like a little piece of "us" has died with this post.


Mostly it's just a silly message board. Except when it isn't.
-missbitts


This is NSBR. Peace is not important to us. We LIKE drama. We seek it out. We create it if need be.
- Voltagain




In honor of my previous self!

freecharlie
Trying to think of a new title

PeaNut 109,127
September 2003
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Loc: Colorado

Posted: 12/12/2009 5:21:12 PM
Dear Santa Pea,
All I want for Christmas is the original post to this thread.

Thank you,
Freecharlie


Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you

**GypsyGirl**
Well, Bless Her Heart.......

PeaNut 142,890
April 2004
Posts: 15,940
Layouts: 1
Loc: I am Switzerland!

Posted: 12/12/2009 5:27:18 PM
I sent Dharma a peamail a few days ago, but have yet to hear from her. All her posts seem to have been erased as well. Looks like she may have left the pod.


Toni
Professional Expat Wife, Hell Holes are my Specialty!


Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Lao Tzu (604 BC - 531 BC)



gar
Whoopea!

PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
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Posted: 12/12/2009 5:33:44 PM

scoobers
Why, YES!, I am a princess.

PeaNut 417,049
March 2009
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Posted: 12/12/2009 6:23:56 PM
Several years ago in St. Louis a family had a nativity set out in their yard, a nice one. Well Baby Jesus disappeared on Christmas Eve night. Of course it hit the news, being the season and all.

Well over the course of the year, they would get letters from Jesus and pictures with him in it. The letters talked of all the places that he was traveling. He went all over the world.

Then, on Christmas Eve the next year.....Baby Jesus came home to the manger. St. Louis news was all over it. It was the best story! We always thought that a young flight attendant took him and took pictures when they flew on their trips. I wish I had kept the newspaper stories about it.



ChloeSweetpea
PeaFixture

PeaNut 177,160
November 2004
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Layouts: 7

Posted: 12/14/2009 2:30:59 PM
This made me laugh until I cried the first time I read it. Dharma is a talented writer and I miss her posts.


My Dogs Attacked Baby Jesus

Ripped his little plastic self right out of the neighbor's nativity. Knocked Mary down, jumped on Joseph, barked at the donkeys. Hay was everywhere.

I am so sick, all I could do was moan and point while my SO chased them down the street screaming "Bring the Savior back here RIGHT NOW!"

As an adult, that is the closest I have ever come to peeing my pants on a public street.

Now we have to tell the neighbors and spring for a new babe in the manger. The dogs were bummed and we hid the mangled child in our garage. How many stores do you think we'll have to visit before we find a match?

::Updated Later That Afternoon::

Well, the wife took it well, the husband not so much. He said "Well I'm glad you came over with an explanation, because we were calling the Sheriff just now." OMG! How to explain this to the cops?!

After about 2 hours of searching stores for Jesus, I came home and as luck would have it, our other neighbors gave us the 411 - someone sold those nativity sets door to door in the 70s. Yes, the 70s. And they still had theirs. Yes! Jesus was returned to the manger with a new Mary and Joseph to boot!

I told my SO, NO the dogs may not have the stolen Jesus to play with. We were going to take the dogs to see the big light display in town, but they can just forget it now.

freecharlie
Trying to think of a new title

PeaNut 109,127
September 2003
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Layouts: 4
Loc: Colorado

Posted: 12/14/2009 2:35:49 PM

I told my husband, NO the dogs may not have the stolen Jesus to play with.
I love this line.


Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you
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