Class reunions.... If you didnt graduate ... can you still go?
Post ReplyPost New TopicPosted 4/3/2009 by supermom_ttf in NSBR Board
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supermom_ttf
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:13:59 PM
I know this is a weird question but I want to know what the etiquette is on this.
I went to the same high school for 3 years but then dropped out in my senior year. This year is our 20 yr class reunion and they are planning the reunion right now. I have some of my high school friends on my facebook and also joined a group for my class. I feel stupid asking.... Is it ok to go to the class reunion when I dropped out of high school?

(disclaimer.. Im only a HALF loser.. I went back and got an HSED later)



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valincal
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:15:39 PM
For sure--go for it!





supermom_ttf
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:30:30 PM
Im thinking about it but its across the country. I would feel stupid going if people are going to be thinking "what the heck is she doing here!"


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Beadhound
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:32:17 PM
I would be the bitch in the crowd wondering why you were at my reunion. To me that is one of the perks. Sorry, I am probably alone in my feelings.




Susieq8579
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:34:43 PM
I moved to Bermuda in the 6th grade and when I came back 3 years later they double promoted me....(Yay British School System) anyway...all the kids I had gone to grammar school with were now a year behind me. I felt a connection to them so when the 5th reunion came around I went to it and this November will be the 25th and I will be there again!!!



Creative Cricket
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:36:08 PM
I say go!




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tallydale
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:36:51 PM
I lived in a small town and moved away in the middle of my junior year. Next year will be our 30th reunion. I go to my old hometown reunions even though it's not officialy where I graduated. My old classmates have always made me welcome. I went to school there longer than some who did graduate from there!

I have gone to the reunions where I did graduate, but my lifelong connections are not there.

I hope you go and have a wonderful time.





MsChiff
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:41:26 PM

I can't imagine why not. I think people's reaction might vary. If you attended a large high school like I did (700+ grads in my class), most people may not even know you dropped out. If you attended a small high school and knew a lot of people well for the 11 years, then they'd probably enjoy seeing you again and finding out what you've been up to.

FWIW, I consider a reunion to be for the entire class that would have graduated that year (i.e. the group of students you progressed through school with) and not just for those that walked across the stage and received their diploma that specific graduation.


.emily.
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:44:03 PM
I would go. If you don't feel comfortable, wait until everyone has a few drinks in them to go in.


Ca-Woman
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:49:44 PM
GO! One of my best friends didn't graduate either and she goes and I'm sure no one thinks a thing about it, I am guessing no one really remembers or cares anyway. Heck, we have people from other grades attend ours and it just makes it more fun. The more the merrier!!



Jumperhop
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:51:07 PM
Go, they don't check for diplomas at the door.
Jen

Lizaanne
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Posted: 4/3/2009 5:55:52 PM
My first boyfriend, we were in in 6th grade, moved after 8th grade. He came to our 10 year reunion just to see all of us that grew up together. I say that you should go and see all your old friends!


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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:00:58 PM
My mom got pregnant her junior year in high school back in 1968 (Catholic high school to boot!).
She has always gotten an official invitation to attend every reunion and it means the world to her. She goes, and has a great time.
If invited, GO. If anyone has a problem with that, well, that person is probably such a miserable petty hag that I wouldn't give a rip....

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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:05:36 PM
If you are sure that you have a group of friends that will make you welcome, then go.


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Joannepea
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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:06:09 PM
Yes, go! I am on the reunion committee for my class (we are planning our 20 right now actually) and we invite anyone who has attended with us. We had 3 or 4 people at our 15 who didn't actually graduate, but attended with us at some point. No one thought a thing about it, and I don't think they were uncomfortable at all. On our reunion website, we even say that we welcome anyone that was with our class at some point.




MtnMama
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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:09:50 PM
We have one classmate that feels weird about coming. She never has, but we always invite her and tell her that it is a "class" reunion. Not a graduation reunion! She was in our class for 11 years! We want to see her!

omarakbt
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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:17:00 PM
Yes, no one will question you. I actually go to two high school reunions. One the school I really graduated from, two the school with all the kids I grew up with until high school. I moved away before my freshman year in high school but because of ongoing orthodontia I went up monthly and stayed with friends. Went to games, did things with groups. One friend was on the year book staff so someplace in each yearbook is a photo of me, maybe in a group something. Anyway there are people that really don't realize I didn't graduate with them. I guess they saw me often enough it never occurred to them I really wasn't in school with them. And truly I still have more of those friends than my high school friends. I have a reunion coming up this year. I'm not sure if I want to go or not.


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creatableme
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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:20:25 PM
I'm in sort of a similar situation. I only went to my local hs for a year, then transferred to private school. We have our 20 yr this summer as well, and I've been trying to decide whether or not it's ok to go to both. I moved out of state 16 yrs ago, but have kept in touch with quite a few people from both schools. SO...
I've asked several people about this, and all have said as long as I'm confortable there's no reason I shouldn't go. I think that graduation at the school is not a prerequisite for attendance, so I'm going for it!
If you're comfortable, you should too! Let us know what you decide, and if you go, good luck and enjoy!


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deputydog
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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:24:43 PM
I went to an "alternative" high school and I'm going to my public high school 25 year reunion next year. Technically my diploma is from the real high school, but I was only there for about two months during my sophomore year.

I went through elementary and junior high with most of these people, though, and have reconnected with a bunch of them through facebook.

So I'd say yes, you should go!

Margaret



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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:31:08 PM
I always wondered this too (I didn't graduate with my class, but they were my class). And I was always scared that someone would be rude (like Beadhound-sorry, but it is rude).

go. It is a class reunion, not a graduation! I missed mine a couple of years ago because we were far away, but I will go next time.




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midwesternmuse
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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:31:43 PM
I'd go.

I dropped out 3 months before graduation due to family issues. I got my GED that same year, I still hung out with some of my classmates, later went to college courses with them - when we have our 10 year or 20 year reunion, I'd have no problem going.

I wasn't uber popular but I wasn't a total loner either - there were over 450 people in my graduating class, I highly doubt that every single even knew I was, let alone cared that I dropped out. But I was surprised - even amongst those that weren't friends/close to me, the word spread pretty quickly about how and why I dropped out. Everyone was really supportive and great so again, I really wouldn't have an issue going.


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h*pea*ing
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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:46:03 PM

I would be the bitch in the crowd wondering why you were at my reunion. To me that is one of the perks. Sorry, I am probably alone in my feelings.


You're not alone..


~heather~


Legacy Girl
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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:47:53 PM
I haven't read all the replies above, but as one who has chaired two of my class reunions, I say "GO, and enjoy yourself!" To me, you were a member of the class even if you didn't walk across a stage and accept a diploma. And reunions are all about reliving the fun times and memories you shared and catching up on the lives of your classmates. Please don't be dissuaded from going. I'm sure there are many people who would be thrilled to see you, and they may not even remember that you weren't there on graduation day. Have fun!


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deputydog
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Posted: 4/3/2009 6:53:48 PM

I would be the bitch in the crowd wondering why you were at my reunion. To me that is one of the perks. Sorry, I am probably alone in my feelings.

You're not alone..


But why? If it was someone you went to school with for years and years but they just didn't get their diploma with you?

Would you feel that way about spouses or partners, too? Most of them probably weren't at your graduation, either. How about someone who was in an accident and spent their last year in the hospital?

I don't get why you'd even care enough to expend the negative energy necessary to look at someone that way.

Margaret



Joannepea
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:02:43 PM

I would be the bitch in the crowd wondering why you were at my reunion. To me that is one of the perks. Sorry, I am probably alone in my feelings.

You're not alone..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



But why? If it was someone you went to school with for years and years but they just didn't get their diploma with you?

Would you feel that way about spouses or partners, too? Most of them probably weren't at your graduation, either. How about someone who was in an accident and spent their last year in the hospital?

I don't get why you'd even care enough to expend the negative energy necessary to look at someone that way.


I dont' get that either. What's the big deal? These were my classmates, some my friends, I think the more the merrier!




Beadhound
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:08:26 PM

But why? If it was someone you went to school with for years and years but they just didn't get their diploma with you?


Because you didn't get the written invitation in the mail and are crashing the party.




Joannepea
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:10:40 PM

But why? If it was someone you went to school with for years and years but they just didn't get their diploma with you?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Because you didn't get the written invitation in the mail and are crashing the party.


Actually, that isn't necessarily true. My class sends out invites to anyone who attended with our class any of the four years we were in highschool.




eebud
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:11:05 PM
I was on our reunion committee. There were people we actively tried to find that we know didn't actually make it to graduation. I don't think we actually found any of them but we tried.

Our main reunion was on Saturday night but on Friday night, everyone who was in town and could make it met up at a long time fixture bar. We had people who heard about our reunion that were in the class before and the class after that came. Some that were not from our class even traveled for it. It was HUGE fun and we didn't care. We wanted to get together with our classmates......all of them.

And last.........would anyone even remember that you didn't graduate with the class (other than Beadhound Heather ) ? Heck, I was on the committee and I talked to them about trying to find an old friend of mine that I haven't seen in years and nobody else on the committee even knew that she didn't graduate with us.





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eebud
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:12:33 PM

Because you didn't get the written invitation in the mail and are crashing the party.

This was definitely not true for us. We mailed invites to everyone we could find and used word of mouth to try our best to find others and then use the website to get the details to those that we didn't find via mail.





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sunluver
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:14:18 PM
If you had been in my class, we would welcome you with open arms. Go if you can.

Beadhound
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:14:38 PM

Actually, that isn't necessarily true. My class sends out invites to anyone who attended with our class any of the four years we were in highschool.




Oh, I guess they aren't all the same. Hey, I am not trying to convince anyone I just know what I would be thinking.




StampNScrap1128
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:15:02 PM

I don't get why you'd even care enough to expend the negative energy necessary to look at someone that way.


I don't understand that either. I say life is too short - go and enjoy renewing your friendships with your classmates!

Mary in OK

mom2amh
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:16:15 PM
I would go!!!! Seriously, go. You will have a blast. No one will care.

I attended my 20 year class reunion last summer. I graduated with close to 800 people, but I would say only about 200 came to the reunion. I had to miss the 10 year reunion and I was sooooooooo nervous to go to the 20 year. My high school was so cliquey and people could be really harsh, but by the time you get to 20 years removed, its all different. I had so much fun. DH and I are not big partiers, but we stayed until the end of the party and then went to the bar with a bunch of people after. I would not have cared if people who didn't graduate attended. Frankly, I wouldn't have known, since there were so many of us.

You need to go. You won't regret it.

paparazzimommy
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:18:32 PM
My school sends out the invites no matter what! No crashing. We just want to see everyone.




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mom2amh
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:20:15 PM
BTW, we didn't have invitations at all. I had to find our group online-as did everybody else. It was totally a word of mouth thing. I imagine the work involved in finding so many people would have been crazy, not to mention the cost. As it was, it was for DH and I to attend, it cost us well over $100, probably. Worth every penny.

Carolina Girl 71
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:23:09 PM
I say go - you were there with these people for almost all of the time - we have a couple of people who actually graduated a year later, but started out with our class and prefer to come to our reunions. Everyone is fine with it. Actually, most people will probably not even remember that you didn't walk the stage with the class.


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deputydog
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:24:32 PM

Because you didn't get the written invitation in the mail and are crashing the party.


But how would you even know?

I'm not trying to argue with you, beadhound. Usually I agree with the things you post.

It just seems mean-spirited, and that surprises me.

Margaret



Wildcatmom
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:40:20 PM
I say go! Our class invites everyone we can find who was in our class, graduated with us or not, and we have others older and younger who show up too. We have a blast.


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RobynJoi
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:46:14 PM
GO!

In my last tow reunions, we had people who went to school with us for a while,but graduated elsewhere and people from other classes. It's not a matter of who graduated from there - it's a matter of friends and memories. PERIOD!



Beadhound
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:51:49 PM

But how would you even know?

I'm not trying to argue with you, beadhound. Usually I agree with the things you post.

It just seems mean-spirited, and that surprises me

Oh I don't mean to come off as mean spirited. I just view it as a party and when you are invited along with guest that is what you do. It is not something I would do and I went to many schools. I just wouldn't dream of going to their graduation unless I was part of the class. I wouldn't go to a wedding either even if I grew up with the bride or groom. I wouldn't attend a retirement party if I worked for a company even though I knew everyone there at the office. Sorry to sound mean-spirited. I guess I am not conveying my thoughts well




bugaboo49
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:54:07 PM
my very best friend left mid-way through our senior year, and she went to our reunion. I thought it was really cool. We had lost touch, and I was thrilled to see her there so we could catch up.

I say, go.


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wholarmor
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Posted: 4/3/2009 7:59:35 PM
Bead, so it's just about the invitation? Is your high school class that good at sending out invitations? What if someone was missed who DID graduate? Should they still be able to come if they found out about it by word of mouth?

For some reason, our class has never had a reunion, but my husband's class did, and they sent out invites that said that if anyone knows of someone who might not have received an invite, to invite them to come. It was on a cruise ship with dinner and stuff, so they needed RSVPs, but I doubt they would have turned away someone who didn't actually walk across the stage with them. What if a person has gone to that school for most of the time, but had to suddenly move in their senior year? Should that person not be allowed to attend?

Love ya, Bead, but I definitely don't agree with this position.


Kris
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wholarmor
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Posted: 4/3/2009 8:04:51 PM
Tammie, do you know who is putting the reunion together? You could always e-mail them or contact them on Facebook and ask if it's alright. I'm sure most people wouldn't mind- especially if you RSVP'd.

BTW, my high school class was over 500 students. I probably wouldn't notice if someone who didn't graduate with us showed up, lol.


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RobynJoi
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Posted: 4/3/2009 8:14:07 PM

I just wouldn't dream of going to their graduation unless I was part of the class.
Bead, I have to disagree with you. I was on my reunion planning committee and we were excited to have classmates who didnt graduate at our school or even classmates from other classes. For us, it wasnt about "pomp and circumstance", it was about fond memories of an unforgettable time in our teen years.

Someone who went to our school (or not) and PAID to come to the reunion is hardly in comparison to someone who crashes a wedding. To me, a class reunion - the more the merrier!

I've been to my 10, 20 and 25 year and we've had people from other classes attend each time. Is that tacky too? I dunno about you, but all of my friends didnt graduate along side me.

I guess after seeing my parents attend their reunions-class independent. (all classes attended) Their school closed in 1972, so now teachers feel more comfortable attending because they dont feel odd going to the class of 68, but not class of 70.

Again, it is all about memories and people. Period!



Nicole2112
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Posted: 4/3/2009 8:30:11 PM
Can the OP come back and answer a couple of questions that have been posted in the thread:

- How long did you attend the high school?
- Are the invitations being extended or is it an "everyone's invited" type of party?

The answers to these questions would help me lean one way or the other. If it's a get together of everyone that was in that class at one point in time and invitations aren't being sent to everyone then I would say go.

Otherwise, I would be standing by Bead wondering why you were there. Sorry...

Beadhound
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Posted: 4/3/2009 8:31:21 PM
Hey, I didn't expect anyone to agree with me. This cheese stands alone




TreeLover
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Posted: 4/3/2009 8:54:01 PM
I think it would depend on the individual reunion organizers.

At my school they only send invitations to people who were given diplomas that year (both Jan and June grads) and they they are open to bring family.

teachNpea
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Posted: 4/3/2009 9:00:44 PM

- How long did you attend the high school?
- Are the invitations being extended or is it an "everyone's invited" type of party?

The answers to these questions would help me lean one way or the other. If it's a get together of everyone that was in that class at one point in time and invitations aren't being sent to everyone then I would say go.

Otherwise, I would be standing by Bead wondering why you were there. Sorry...




same.



AngieandSnoopy
Michel's Mom ~ Sugar Plum's Mummie

PeaNut 52,307
October 2002
Posts: 5,701
Layouts: 80
Loc: Land of Enchantment - Louisiana girl in a Southwest world.

Posted: 4/3/2009 9:01:03 PM
GO! It is a class reunion, not a graduate reunion! I went to the only reunion that we had and loved it. Absolutely NO one graduated at that school. We were split up after 9th grade. Most of us graduated but not all. Two went to summer school and graduated a year early, some of us graduated the "correct" year, some the year after. We found all but one person to send an invitation to. I went to school with them 4 years, many went to school together for 9 years.

I was the one they ALMOST didn't find to invite when one of my classmates suddenly remembered that her pastor's wife was a cousin of mine. I traveled the most miles to get there. NOW, if they have a reunion, I would want to go and hope that I could but I'd have to travel half of New Mexico, all of Texas and half of Louisiana to get there! If they wait another year or two, hopefully I can make it!


Angie ~ Snoopy, Amanda, Michel, Davy, Benji, & Onkita - my fur kids!
Red, Black & Tan, & Double Dapple mini Dachshund's! Is it Snoopy or Snoopea?
Michel 9, Onkita 14, Jeannie the Chiweenie 14, and Sugar Plum 16 years!

Fiskateer #2358

alwaysa4Hmember
baseball is love.

PeaNut 154,126
June 2004
Posts: 15,362
Layouts: 217
Loc: Arkansas

Posted: 4/3/2009 9:08:24 PM
I say go.

I went through school with a group (class of 2003). Well, I didn't graduate that year, even though I had went from K to the senior year with them. I ended up graduating in 2004. Do I regret not graduating on time? I do to a point, but I think that extra year helped me, and without it I wouldn't have met my two best friends. Many of the people in the 2003 class still consider me as part of their class, and I still feel like a part of that class, even though I graduated in 2004.

FTR, both graduating classes had about 250 people in them (each).


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formerly alwaysa4hmember
No Fear. No Regret.

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