I know, I'm anon...but a WWTPD question.

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Posted 10/2/2012 by Annoyedanonymous in NSBR Board
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brab74
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Posted: 10/3/2012 2:47:12 PM

She sent me a text today:
" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority."

The mom needs to let it go already. You've handled it - your child will apologize for it, now move on. I don't think it is as horrible of an offense as the woman is making it out to be.

What's the kid supposed to do in the back of the vehicle for an hour while the other children are playing???

wholarmor
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Posted: 10/3/2012 2:48:37 PM
Oh my. She sounds a little(okay, a lot) obsessed about this. I hope it goes better on future rides. I'm glad that you are telling your child that they were in the wrong, too, though.


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julieberg
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Posted: 10/3/2012 2:48:56 PM

Yes, it was disrespectful, but I'd be concerned about carpooling with someone who sounds like she can become unhinged at something so small. SO angry. And such a BAD INFLUENCE on her sheltered homeschooled kids?


This. I also agree with the pea who said to fill your car up with games and let them go at it. Just curious? Do you let your child play with his/her hand held games when you are driving this carpool?

KristinL16
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Posted: 10/3/2012 2:55:41 PM
I agree with Batya on all of the reasons to stay anonymous. I also agree that the woman overreacted, and I would have been put off by her demanding an apology. IMO, when someone demands and apology it turns the apology into a shameful consequence rather than a way to right a wrong and express how you truly feel.



cricket_7
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Posted: 10/3/2012 3:11:19 PM

" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority."



Please tell me that after this you will not be allowing your child to get in the car with this crazy f-tard! If she is sending you texts like this, just think about what she and her kids will be saying to your child.

She is a lunatic!!


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nicolequinn
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Posted: 10/3/2012 3:11:24 PM

She sent me a text today:
" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority."


OMG.
That would be it for me.
What a bitchy, ugly thing to send you.
Even if she DID pray for that this morning, you don't TELL someone.
She is sending you another jab to let you know that she'll be watching your child and he better obey.
PSYCHO! It's also disgusting to use prayer in such a calculated, manipulative fashion.

I think I'd be sending a text back to her that reads...
"Thank you for your prayers. I also spent time in prayer with my child, too. We prayed that you would have an open heart to accept those with different interests and to not be so full of rage and anger. That the heavy-hand you set forth in your rules will soften from grace and forgiveness from our Lord. During prayer, it was laid upon my heart that I don't think our carpool arrangement will work out as the needs and desires of my child are more important than the rules in your vehicle. Thank you for being open to the carpool and we wish you the best of luck in school this year."

I'm so sorry, Anon, I have no idea why I'm so bothered by this, but it wouldn't be something I'd subject my son to anymore knowing it was my decision to commute him to school for such a long distance... then it is my responsibility to get him there.

Good luck!




cricket_7
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Posted: 10/3/2012 3:15:42 PM

I think I'd be sending a text back to her that reads...
"Thank you for your prayers. I also spent time in prayer with my child, too. We prayed that you would have an open heart to accept those with different interests and to not be so full of rage and anger. That the heavy-hand you set forth in your rules will soften from grace and forgiveness from our Lord. During prayer, it was laid upon my heart that I don't think our carpool arrangement will work out as the needs and desires of my child are more important than the rules in your vehicle. Thank you for being open to the carpool and we wish you the best of luck in school this year."



THIS!!!! It's perfect!


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Posted: 10/3/2012 3:30:01 PM

" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority."


drop her, drop her now!!






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Posted: 10/3/2012 3:37:49 PM

She sent me a text today:
" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority."


And that would be the last straw for me. We would be done carpooling after that. This woman is not going to let it go.



Miglets
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Posted: 10/3/2012 3:44:31 PM

A prayer? As Whitney would say, hell to the no. You need to get out of this arrangement.

And this is exactly how you should do it!



I think I'd be sending a text back to her that reads...
"Thank you for your prayers. I also spent time in prayer with my child, too. We prayed that you would have an open heart to accept those with different interests and to not be so full of rage and anger. That the heavy-hand you set forth in your rules will soften from grace and forgiveness from our Lord. During prayer, it was laid upon my heart that I don't think our carpool arrangement will work out as the needs and desires of my child are more important than the rules in your vehicle. Thank you for being open to the carpool and we wish you the best of luck in school this year."




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MrsPibb
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Posted: 10/3/2012 3:53:18 PM

She sent me a text today:
" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority."




Wow. Yeah I'd be done. However - and I am ashamed to admit this -I'm looking forward to future stories about this woman since you are sticking with the carpool, even if it's only for a few more days.



Wendy

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Posted: 10/3/2012 4:06:04 PM
Just one more on the band wagon who loves the text that you should use. I feel sorry for your kid riding an hour to school with this nutcase. I see nothing wrong with your kid playing a gameboy. She can drive her own kids everyday from here on out. I'd carry my kid on my back before I would make them suffer another minute with this crazoid.


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crimsoncat05
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Posted: 10/3/2012 4:16:41 PM
WTF is she thinking?? especially if you say carpooling benefits her and her kids more than you.

from what I read early in the thread, if it was me, I was inclined to say 'over-the-top' but maybe I could let it go... But, after reading that they PRAYED for you, and the fact that it was really a not-so-subtle dig about your child's upbringing, then I would say good bye and good riddance.






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KatieBPea
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Posted: 10/3/2012 4:20:01 PM

It's also disgusting to use prayer in such a calculated, manipulative fashion.


I couldn't put my finger on it when I first read the update, but this is what was bothering me and I completely agree with this.

ETA: It isn't even so much the praying--I pray for people for all sorts of reasons--it's holding up your son as some sort of example of willful disobedience to her children, making it a family event and then reporting back to you that is repulsive to me.

I know you said you're staying in the carpool for now, but I would keep *very close tabs on what she is saying to your son during the days she drives. I wouldn't put much past her, such as trying to shame your son for his behavior, all the while using her religious convictions to justify her behavior.




twinks
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Posted: 10/3/2012 4:38:32 PM
After the text today, I would so be getting out of that carpool. I can't believe that you would continue to subject your child to that situation.

Red flags went up for me when her little darlings didn't include your child in a game. Other red flag when her little darling (who I assume is around the same age as your child) was tattling - that is 6 to 7 year old behavior. Already Lunatic Mom has decided your child is a bad influence and therefore isn't letting her darlings interact with your child. Already she has the eagle eye on your child. To take it further she is even praying for your child. That is WAY over the top for me.

What does your child want to do? I think the tears speak volumes. Already your child isn't liking it or there wouldn't be tears. Your child is already trying hard to fit in and be included in a situation that is going to just become more and more impossible.

Kids will break rules and make mistakes. This was a tiny mistake and one that should be dealt with in a calm manner. It is a teachable moment.

I just pray that you will see the situation and have the heart to get your child out of that carpool before Friday.


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Posted: 10/3/2012 4:52:50 PM

She sent me a text today:
" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority."


That's nice that she would pray for you and your family.

It is not nice that she would include her children to use prayer as a way to denigrate your child.

Now that you know, you have a decision to make: Is your child so willful that they need extra help obeying those in authority, or does your child give those in authority the proper respect?

It sounds like this other mother and you may have very very different ideas of right and wrong. The American culture as a whole treats authority with some skepticism. When authority gets out of hand, we try to change it, not just submit to it. Some very religious or cultural groups believe in submission no matter what.


This mother feels bound to "help" your child and you may find that "help" totally inappropriate and uncalled for. I would.












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Posted: 10/3/2012 5:41:02 PM
I'd be dropping this carpool chick ASAP! That was my gut reaction at the beginning of this thread and finding out about her self-righteous text this am, cements my feelings. This woman is a nutter. Your child should not be subjected to her any further.




caz hancock
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Posted: 10/3/2012 5:57:28 PM
OMW seriously??

She sounds like a dragon to me, So what if your child played the DS in the car, he/she was feeling left out and an hour is a long trip for anyone never mind a small child. I do not have a problem with my DD playing her DS if it keeps her busy on a trip.

I would not allow anyone to talk to me about my child that way, and i would rather my child was like yours than the snot she has brought up

I would think about stopping car pooling if it were me


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matleavepea
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Posted: 10/3/2012 6:11:57 PM
ya, i think that final text would be the nail in the proverbial coffin. the idea of them all sitting around, as a family, and praying for my child for having no heart??? that is bizarre. and doesn't sound like it is for my child's wellbeing, it sounds like it so they can feel superior.

i'd make other arrangements. and as a rule, i tell my kids we don't get along with everyone but we can all put on a nice face to get through a situation.

Really Red
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Posted: 10/3/2012 6:18:59 PM
I'm guessing it would be very difficult to drop this carpool, because she is seriously not sane. I love this

"Thank you for your prayers. I also spent time in prayer with my child, too. We prayed that you would have an open heart to accept those with different interests and to not be so full of rage and anger. That the heavy-hand you set forth in your rules will soften from grace and forgiveness from our Lord. During prayer, it was laid upon my heart that I don't think our carpool arrangement will work out as the needs and desires of my child are more important than the rules in your vehicle. Thank you for being open to the carpool and we wish you the best of luck in school this year."


I really do. It is respectful and not mean and I know it will mean nothing to her, but you will know that you didn't do anything wrong. I'd surely add "We will also keep your Little Tattletale in our prayers since both we, Christ and Judas know that is not a good example to set for any child."

And for those of you who don't want electronics in the car for an HOUR ride? WTH? If someone's kid wanted to play electronics, it would not bother me at all. How incredibly controlling when it doesn't affect you at all.


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batya
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Posted: 10/3/2012 6:20:15 PM

" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority."


Passive aggressive, manipulative prayer. How spiritual.

I'll say this as gently as possible. You are putting your child in a vehicle with a sick manipulative bitch b/c of convenience. It's good you posted anon b/c if you came back to the peas and said something else happened to your child after all these warning signs, you, the regular pea would get 250+ I told you sos and handslaps, et al. You know this is an uncomfortable situation for your child. He told you, a pod full of peas told you. And this woman is a nut who is not on this earth. What you do now is up to you. You're backpedaling and rationalizing why it's not so bad--her DH is laid back and he drives more often... I would not send my child with this person. On the road. In a car. With a family who is being fed how terrible your villainous child is. The outcast. My convenience would take a backseat to my child's safety, wellbeing and comfort.


OK. Newbie. This is how it works. If your post consists of 80% sanity, 10% stupidity and 10% all kinds of crazy, we immediately focus on the 20% b/c it discredits the 80%.




cocoanmom
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Posted: 10/3/2012 6:22:57 PM
I would be so done after that text.No more carpool. Really Red posted a great response. That mom is really horrid to text you that. How rude and passive aggressive.

leftturnonly
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Posted: 10/3/2012 6:25:08 PM
Batya hit the nail on the head. Soundly.






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scrapbean
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Posted: 10/3/2012 6:38:25 PM
She is CRAZY! No way my child would be in a moving vehicle with someone like that!

PBev
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Posted: 10/3/2012 6:40:59 PM
My kids carpooled to a private school close to an hour away when they were about that age. Unfortunately, I did not pay enough attention when they complained about certain negative things that took place during the commute. My kids are now adults but it affected them more than I ever realized. If it were me - I would get them out. Today.


Bev

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Posted: 10/3/2012 6:42:44 PM

I'll say this as gently as possible. You are putting your child in a vehicle with a sick manipulative bitch


LOL...I think you should have your own advice column

I'll put it in prayer

batya
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Posted: 10/3/2012 6:48:17 PM
OMG! Where have YOU been?! Hi!!!!!

That didn't come out too gentle, did it?



OK. Newbie. This is how it works. If your post consists of 80% sanity, 10% stupidity and 10% all kinds of crazy, we immediately focus on the 20% b/c it discredits the 80%.




always dieting
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Posted: 10/3/2012 7:02:38 PM

I think I'd be sending a text back to her that reads...
"Thank you for your prayers. I also spent time in prayer with my child, too. We prayed that you would have an open heart to accept those with different interests and to not be so full of rage and anger. That the heavy-hand you set forth in your rules will soften from grace and forgiveness from our Lord. During prayer, it was laid upon my heart that I don't think our carpool arrangement will work out as the needs and desires of my child are more important than the rules in your vehicle. Thank you for being open to the carpool and we wish you the best of luck in school this year."

PERFECT

OKtrae
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Posted: 10/3/2012 7:06:36 PM
"She sent me a text today:
" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority."

Danger Will Robinson....

She's really nutso. And your post about them needing you would make me more likely to dump the pool. But I have an evil streak.


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Posted: 10/3/2012 7:23:51 PM

She sent me a text today:
" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Lets have some perspective here... This woman is clearly off her rocker and I'd keep my kid away from her before she starts performing an exorcism on him during the carpool hour.





^^^^^that !

The woman's a nutcase, she needs to be locked up, not driving kids to school - drop the carpool now !

If she send you text like this what do you think she's telling your child when you're not there !




hollymolly
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Posted: 10/3/2012 7:43:23 PM
I'm thinking of myself at 11, and how I would feel in that situation. The apology will be painful, but it is necessary. Making your child ride with that woman again is cruel. Please don't do that to your child.



SammieJay
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Posted: 10/3/2012 7:52:41 PM
O_O After that text this morning I would most certainly not be putting my child back in that situation and I would not be letting that crazy woman down as nicely as Nicolequinn put it!

ladygarter1574
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Posted: 10/3/2012 7:54:43 PM
OP,

As others have said, have DC apologize for disobeying the car rules.

Continue the carpooling if you need to for now but pay VERY VERY close attention to the vibe and words of your child about the ride. Is your DC always put in the worst seat, being left out of conversations, being 'discussed', being "prayed over"?

I would be very concerned about car discussions about him and him being prayed over because he's being isolated/excluded/ostracized because he doesn't belong to that family and he isn't completely kowtowing to the mom the way she believes is proper. He isn't one of her angels so he will always be wrong.

If you see any signs of continued over-reaction or "praying over" a past or minor transgression, bow out of the carpool. This is probably why her family needed to find an unfamiliar family to drive with.

To me, those who use Prayer and Faith to beat others about are people to avoid because they use these gifts as weapons not invitations.

Christina

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Posted: 10/3/2012 8:03:36 PM

I think I'd be sending a text back to her that reads...
"Thank you for your prayers. I also spent time in prayer with my child, too. We prayed that you would have an open heart to accept those with different interests and to not be so full of rage and anger. That the heavy-hand you set forth in your rules will soften from grace and forgiveness from our Lord. During prayer, it was laid upon my heart that I don't think our carpool arrangement will work out as the needs and desires of my child are more important than the rules in your vehicle. Thank you for being open to the carpool and we wish you the best of luck in school this year."


This!

I was going to reply to the "boiling mad" comment and say that I wouldn't let my kid back in her car. Then I saw her prayer.

But back to "boiling mad" - do you want someone who gets that upset over such a small infraction driving your child around? She doesn't sound stable to me.


Mary




LemonaideLinda
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Posted: 10/3/2012 8:24:49 PM
PM'ing you, anon.

caz hancock
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Posted: 10/3/2012 8:38:13 PM
just wanted to add, that i think it is unsafe to put your child in this position of a clear lunatic. Can you imagine the distress he is feeling just worrying about that car ride, do not let this ruin how he feels about schooling. Either get him to a closer school or drive him your self, you are his mother and it is your responsibility.

What is so annoying is that he was playing so quietly to himself that she did not even notice, she is a weirdo and needs help, i pity her poor family


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sweetandsour
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Posted: 10/3/2012 8:46:55 PM
Well I pray that this nutjob finds a great psychologist quickly. And I pray that her children don't lose limbs or cause accidents during the waving game!

I would not make my child apologize to this nut in person alone. Please be there with him/her to make sure nothing inappropriate is said or done. Besides, since this woman likes texts so much, your child can text her the apology.

If she gets so unhinged over a Nintendo DS, imagine if someone cuts her off in traffic and the road rage she might unleash?


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Posted: 10/3/2012 8:47:02 PM
There are several really rigid peas responding, and I do not feel your child was disrespectful and does not owe an apology to this woman.

The kid is trying to survive an untenable situation. Thank God your kid is resiliant enough to recognize they are trapped with a crazoid and if they try to distract themselves and get their mind to a chill place to be ready for the learning environment, I'd be proud of my kid.

Some peas are going to end up with some sneaky, rebellious kids. I can't imagine my mom making me apologize for that.



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I know this is assuming, but I'm really starting to think you are one of those "entitled" peas - Dalayney 4/2/12
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rainbow_scrapper
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Posted: 10/3/2012 9:22:09 PM
This thread makes me glad that I only see you all here and not in the real world. No wonder kids are the terrors that they are. Nevermind that this kid clearly doesn't care about the rules at school, carpool or at home. That woman is trying to deal with a kid that obviously and repeatedly doesn't care about authority and/or rules. Heaven forbid that she say a prayer for that family, too. Off with her head, eh?



sues
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Posted: 10/3/2012 9:31:42 PM
I don't care how much the carpooling situation benefitted us, I'd stop. This nutter is going to watch your kid like a hawk to catch him doing anything she deems unacceptable. And sorry- sticking a kid in a windowless corner for an hour drive and expecting him to just stare at other kids playing all the way there? No way.

Yes, it was disrespectful, but I'd be concerned about carpooling with someone who sounds like she can become unhinged at something so small. SO angry. And such a BAD INFLUENCE on her sheltered homeschooled kids?
I'd be happy to discontinue this carpooling relationship. I don't know if I could trust this person with my child. Something about this raises a red flag with me. I just can't put my finger on it.
ITA. I wouldn't subject my child to this BS to save a few bucks on gas.

It's also absurd for this woman to have demanded an apology before the chance was given for one to be offered. Ridiculous. It's like she's so sure you'll handle the situation ineffectively, she's going to force you to do it her way.

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Posted: 10/3/2012 9:42:22 PM
hello my beautiful batya life sort of took over...now that the dust has settled some...I can pea again

let's chat it up via email send me pmail if you wish

AussieMeg
How about you, Lash LaRue?

PeaNut 51,689
October 2002
Posts: 7,844
Layouts: 16
Loc: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: 10/3/2012 9:50:45 PM
Even though you have said that you will be continuing with the car pooling:


She sent me a text today: 
" this morning the girls and I prayed for your family, and for the Lord to intervene and give ________ a heart to obey those in authority." 


Wowsers, that would really be the last straw for me!

On the one hand I want you to be ungracious and dump her nutty ass. But on the other hand I selfishly want you to keep car pooling so we get to hear more stories about this fruitcake!

doesitmatter?
Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 509,811
May 2011
Posts: 6,639
Layouts: 27

Posted: 10/3/2012 9:55:07 PM
I don't understand the anon part - this just doesn't seem like a big deal to me- but you didn't ask about that, huh? Well the other mon sounds a little high strung - think I'd make other arrangements if possible. And I know your child disobeyed - but I think it's a dumb rule - I can't imagine not wanting the child to entertain his / herself for an hour long car ride
Something is off here - either the lady is "off"or she just wanted out of the carpool. Weird.


Child of God, follower of Jesus, and so thankful for His presence in my life <><
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AussieMeg
How about you, Lash LaRue?

PeaNut 51,689
October 2002
Posts: 7,844
Layouts: 16
Loc: Melbourne, Australia

Posted: 10/3/2012 10:10:25 PM
ETA: And I can see now why it was probably a good idea for you to remain anonymous. Most people here think you are doing your child a great disservice by forcing him/her into such an uncomfortable situation.

wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack sniffer!

PeaNut 29,699
February 2002
Posts: 24,524
Layouts: 92
Loc: SE Washington

Posted: 10/3/2012 10:47:00 PM
I think the child should apologize- not because of the stupid video game rule, but that he continued to play even though he was told to put it away- even if it was stupid. He knew the rule, and broke it.

I do like the response Nicole posted, though.


Kris
Mom to Kyrie(11), Isaiah(9), and Jayden(6)
my blog


cmpeter
PEAceful Pea

PeaNut 14,521
April 2001
Posts: 37,572
Layouts: 31
Loc: Washington State

Posted: 10/3/2012 11:22:30 PM
Oh wow, that text...she is way over the top. I hope she is gracious about accepting your child's apology and is forgiving!

My dd is an a carpool that takes an hour. It's just once a day though. The time flies because the kids (all 7th and 8th grade girls) get along very well and no one is excluded. No one has broken out the ds or any other electronics, but I wouldn't mind if they did.


Cindi

Skybar
Perfect Peaing

PeaNut 188,727
January 2005
Posts: 24,389
Layouts: 0
Loc: AZ desert

Posted: 10/4/2012 12:04:49 AM
time to not carpool with her




"A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education."
- President Theodore Roosevelt

On June 28, 1787, as Governor of Pennsylvania, Benjamin Franklin hosted the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, where he moved:

"That henceforth prayers imploring the assistance of Heaven, and its blessing on our deliberations, be held in this Assembly every morning."

Franklin wrote April 17, 1787:

"Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters."

Benjamin Franklin wrote his epitaph:

"THE BODY of BENJAMIN FRANKLIN - Printer. Like the cover of an old book, Its contents torn out, And stripped of its lettering and gilding, Lies here, food for worms; Yet the work itself shall not be lost, For it will (as he believed) appear once more, In a new, And more beautiful edition, Corrected and amended By The AUTHOR."

pelirroja
PeaFixture

PeaNut 21,146
September 2001
Posts: 3,301
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right Here, Right Now

Posted: 10/4/2012 4:36:23 AM
I'd send NicoleQuinn's text to her and cease carpool as of this morning. Please don't send your kid anymore with this maladjusted mom. Even if her DH is "OK", he lives with her and is condoning her nutty behavior by not guiding her towards more socially-appropriate behavior and responses. Not stopping nutso behavior is tacitly approving of it, IMHO. She has crossed the line and you need to stop her from interacting with you and your family.

You said a red flag went off for you. PLEASE give your kid a break and get said child away from that lunatic. Time to call it quits. NOW.



Pelly





ashazamm
PeaAddict

PeaNut 217,769
August 2005
Posts: 1,056
Layouts: 18
Loc: NY

Posted: 10/4/2012 6:51:11 AM
Your child was being a typical child and the mom made a mountain out of a mohile!!

I almost got talked into car pooling with a mom, she has 3 kids. I talked to the woman who car pooled them the year before and said one of the kids was a trouble maker who started fights with her son every single day. So I thought, no thanks.

If I were you, I'd drive my own kids.

Susie_Homemaker
AncestralPea

PeaNut 337,804
September 2007
Posts: 4,492
Layouts: 1
Loc: In the Know

Posted: 10/4/2012 8:04:42 AM
After 4 pages I can't remember if your child has apologized to her yet.
I would love to know how she reacts to it. There is no way she'll be gracious about it, she'll lecture him I'm sure. And as soon as she starts I'd say none of that is needed, she/he apologized and doesn't need a lecture from you(you crazy bat!).

eta: I'd totally send that text from Nicole!




It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
- Sam Levenson




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