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pretzels
AncestralPea
PeaNut 479,777
August 2010
Posts: 4,433
Layouts: 0
 |  Posted: 10/4/2012 4:25:08 PM
Not in the situation you describe, I don't think so. There's a funky burger place here that has an Airstream trailer attached to it. It's for private parties, but if there's not one scheduled, it's open for everyone to use. There's a long table running down the middle of it, and random people just sit there. It's never been a problem. | |
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smilesnpeacesigns
PeaFixture
PeaNut 341,236
October 2007
Posts: 3,414
Layouts: 1
 | Posted: 10/4/2012 4:31:48 PM
I think the only thing odd is that she didn't ask, we have an outdoor cafe and I met all kinds of people when I went there for lunch.
It would probably bug me but I wouldn't say anything. I think she didn't want to sit alone. Also, she saw you were lounging kinda and she clearly came to lounge too, so she maybe thought it wasn't appropriate for her to occupy an entire table for a long while when you had space at yours, thus leaving space for others who want to eat or grab a quick cup of coffee. *shrug* As long as she is not trying to make conversation I'd be fine.
I'm going to go with that logic that she is just lounging, and why not lounge with someone else who is lounging instead of two tables with one lounger each .
That sounds way more complicated then what I was thinking... | |
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DEX
PeaAddict
PeaNut 365,020
March 2008
Posts: 1,326
Layouts: 4
| Posted: 10/4/2012 4:32:48 PM
Wouldn't even bother me a lick. Of course I am "older" so lots of things don't bother me like they did when I was younger.  | |
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graciebeth
PeaNut
PeaNut 48,795
September 2002
Posts: 201
Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 10/4/2012 4:34:07 PM
oh see Id strike up a conversation with her and talk her ear off and maybe wind up with a friend. maybe she sat down hoping she'd have someone to talk to for a bit? maybe she didnt want to sit alone.
but Id talk to her lol,but thats what I do, i work as a cashier at a grocery store so I talk to people all day long
-grace | |
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ferfers79
PeaNut
PeaNut 6,534
September 2000
Posts: 397
Layouts: 0
Loc: Torrance, CA
 | Posted: 10/4/2012 4:43:30 PM
Not weird at all. I've seen people on their computers at Starbucks hours at a time ( sometimes longer than my 8 hr shift). Strangers would often share tables if all other tables were in use. Especially if one person was sitting at a table for four people. | |
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gmcwife1
SamFan
PeaNut 33,625
March 2002
Posts: 7,962
Layouts: 0
Loc: Washington State
 | Posted: 10/4/2012 5:52:18 PM
I've had people sit at the same table as me at the CK conventions all the time when there were plenty of open tables. This was just casual breaks or lunches, not during the crops when it's expected people will share the tables.
So I guess it wouldn't bother me in the least.
~ Dori ~
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andtyler
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 251,639
March 2006
Posts: 2,281
Layouts: 27
 | Posted: 10/4/2012 7:17:00 PM
I would interpret it as she is lonely and in need of some human interaction... I would offer her that kindness. | |
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Shih Tzu Mommy
Million dollar camera, 10 dollar lock!
PeaNut 224,352
September 2005
Posts: 23,525
Layouts: 0
Loc: Right here
| Posted: 10/4/2012 8:28:09 PM
If there were no other tables, I would not find it strange. If there were many other options, then yes, odd. When I have had someone share my table they tend to ask if I mind and I do the same. I mostly want to make sure they are not waiting for someone else to join them. | |
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SnowWhite.
in Fairy Tale Land
PeaNut 341,421
October 2007
Posts: 6,334
Layouts: 0
Loc: Philly 'burbs
| Posted: 10/4/2012 8:31:57 PM
Some part of me wants to go to random Starbucks' buy a drink and sit down with other people now and see what happens 
~dawn | |
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batya
Making the WWW better, one post at a time.
PeaNut 59,094
December 2002
Posts: 31,794
Layouts: 24
Loc: up on my high horse
| Posted: 10/4/2012 8:36:44 PM
I do think it's odd that she didn't ask first. I like my alone time when I'm out and about and if she just wanted to sit there, that's fine, but if I was reading, eating, whatever and someone wanted to start talking, I admit, I wouldn't be enthusiastic about it. I'm not big on small talk. I don't think that's bad. I'm not unfriendly. Quote the contrary. I'm an outgoing introvert, but I like being alone when I plan to be alone. | |
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Mariah2
Yo, that's fifty dollars for a T-shirt.
PeaNut 526,154
October 2011
Posts: 5,476
Layouts: 0
Loc: Illinois
 | Posted: 10/4/2012 8:40:33 PM
In the suburbs here people find it weird. In the city people cram in and take every seat. So it would depend on location. | |
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Mariah2
Yo, that's fifty dollars for a T-shirt.
PeaNut 526,154
October 2011
Posts: 5,476
Layouts: 0
Loc: Illinois
| Posted: 10/4/2012 8:45:15 PM
I think it's weird that so many people want to have coffee and hang out in a public place with people.. But if one of said people tries to talk to them it's oooooohhh nooooo!!!
It's weird! Americans are weird. I said it! | |
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TXDancermom
PeaFixture
PeaNut 146,748
May 2004
Posts: 3,655
Layouts: 1
 | Posted: 10/4/2012 8:47:31 PM
I go outside to eat all the time at work - and there are times strangers sit at the table together, but if I do it I ask if I can sit down, and so do the others. If she asked first then ok, if not how did she know you weren't waiting for someone else to come?
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pennyring
Thrift Ninja
PeaNut 226,011
October 2005
Posts: 22,409
Layouts: 40
Loc: Rite Aid
| Posted: 10/4/2012 8:50:28 PM
I think it's a little weird, but if she seemed cool, I'd be cool.
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Artbabe
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 428,650
July 2009
Posts: 2,073
Layouts: 0
Loc: Columbus, Ohio
 | Posted: 10/4/2012 8:51:14 PM
Some part of me wants to go to random Starbucks' buy a drink and sit down with other people now and see what happens
Me too!
It is fun to mess with people. Occasionally I'll get in the elevator and not face the door. It weirds everyone out. The hard part is not to laugh when you do it- because then you really do look like a crazy person. | |
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SMayer
PeaAddict
PeaNut 432,055
July 2009
Posts: 1,503
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 10/4/2012 8:53:26 PM
Not weird. I think it's weird that so many people think it's weird. | |
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Georgiapea
Mom to the Wild Things.
PeaNut 96,783
July 2003
Posts: 26,414
Layouts: 0
Loc: Poss-a-Dillo Hill, Ozark, AL
| Posted: 10/4/2012 8:54:33 PM
Well, it's 9 pm. Are the 2 of you still at Starbucks, reading books and being on the computer?  Really, how did it end? Did you ever chat?
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aerobigirl
Insert witty title here
PeaNut 8,771
December 2000
Posts: 8,841
Layouts: 766
Loc: Portland, OR
| Posted: 10/4/2012 9:23:24 PM
I would interpret it as she is lonely and in need of some human interaction... I would offer her that kindness.
That.
It wouldn't bother me at all. Maybe your table was the closest to the door and she can't walk far. Maybe she's lonely. Maybe that used to be "her" table with someone she loved. If I were having an obviously tense or private discussion, then it would be wierd*, but sitting alone at a laptop, no.
*we were in a hospital emergency room a weekend ago with our son to get a staple in a cut on the back of his head. My young daughter wanted to say hi to everyone in the waiting room. I generally let her wave at people, but there was a couple seated together, in tears, talking quickly; that couple, I pulled her away from. | |
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B. Pea
PeaNut
PeaNut 453,111
January 2010
Posts: 365
Layouts: 0
Loc: midwest
| Posted: 10/4/2012 9:44:26 PM
That wouldn't necessarily bother me. She might be lonely. I'd chat with her.
Once when we were at the Cheesecake Factory, 2 guys tried to steal our table. We called them out on it and then they asked if they could share it with us. We might have said yes if they hadn't been rude, but not after those shenanigans. We noticed them sitting a few tables down with another couple a few minutes later, do I guess they weaseled their way into someone else's table. | |
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lindywholoveskids
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 168,696
September 2004
Posts: 7,185
Layouts: 0
Loc: Northern California
 | Posted: 10/4/2012 9:57:30 PM
I would be fine with it. Maybe she just didn't have the right words to ask.."Can I join you while I read my book?"
I just don't understand all the negativity either. Some of us may get older one of these days  | |
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TamraC
AncestralPea
PeaNut 120,842
December 2003
Posts: 4,032
Layouts: 8
Loc: Central Texas
| Posted: 10/4/2012 10:41:15 PM
Wow...I cannot believe this would anger some of you:.WTF?
Get over yourselves people!  | |
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*Leslie*
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 33,199
March 2002
Posts: 8,103
Layouts: 15
Loc: Southern California
| Posted: 10/4/2012 10:57:35 PM
I wouldn't be mad or angry but I would think it's a little odd, especially if there were other tables available. | |
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Jumperhop
My brain is 70% song lyrics!
PeaNut 43,833
July 2002
Posts: 16,922
Layouts: 29
Loc: The land of make believe
| Posted: 10/4/2012 11:23:59 PM
I wish I lived in a place where this was the norm. Can you imagine all the interesting people you would meet.
Jen | |
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shirt
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 34,233
March 2002
Posts: 5,059
Layouts: 99
Loc: MN
| Posted: 10/4/2012 11:35:51 PM
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meshelley
PeaFixture
PeaNut 431,262
July 2009
Posts: 3,336
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 10/5/2012 12:15:57 AM
Well, it's 9 pm. Are the 2 of you still at Starbucks, reading books and being on the computer? Really, how did it end? Did you ever chat?
LOL! Sorry, I didn't really think about updating this until I saw it back at the top just now.
No, we never chatted. I did my work and she read her book. We shared the table for at least an hour and then I left (just because I was ready to go home, nothing to do with her or sharing the table). As I packed up & left I told her goodbye and to have a nice day and she replied that it was a really pretty day to sit outside. | |
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(By The Sea)
peain' with my toes in the sand
PeaNut 12,495
March 2001
Posts: 12,763
Layouts: 438
Loc: Oregon
| Posted: 10/5/2012 12:29:33 AM
I would think it was kind of odd only in the sense that she didn't ask if the seat was available first.
Other than that, no, no big deal. | |
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aerobigirl
Insert witty title here
PeaNut 8,771
December 2000
Posts: 8,841
Layouts: 766
Loc: Portland, OR
| Posted: 10/5/2012 12:34:11 AM
...and on another message board, somewhere, she's typing about the same encounter...
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luv2scrapaboutmykids
PeaFixture
PeaNut 329,346
July 2007
Posts: 3,296
Layouts: 13
Loc: Saskatchewan
| Posted: 10/5/2012 1:16:02 AM
So I think this is weird and this post also makes me sad.
I SO SO SO desperately want to go to Europe but now I am freaked out that I will have to sit with strangers. I am super shy and that makes me uncomfortable. | |
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gar
Whoopea!
PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
Posts: 12,443
Layouts: 0
Loc: England UK
| Posted: 10/5/2012 1:48:50 AM
I SO SO SO desperately want to go to Europe but now I am freaked out that I will have to sit with strangers. I am super shy and that makes me uncomfortable.
Please don't let that put you off! Human interaction makes the world an interesting place and is almost always pleasant and innocent and I promise we don't bite
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jennyap
AncestralPea
PeaNut 379,453
June 2008
Posts: 4,183
Layouts: 59
Loc: UK
 | Posted: 10/5/2012 5:49:59 AM
she maybe thought it wasn't appropriate for her to occupy an entire table for a long while when you had space at yours, thus leaving space for others who want to eat or grab a quick cup of coffee.
That was my first thought. I wouldn't have sat down without at least asking if the seat was free/you had anyone joining you, but otherwise I might well have done the same rather than 'block' a table a larger group could otherwise use. | |
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Ros135
BucketHead
PeaNut 404,546
December 2008
Posts: 992
Layouts: 84
Loc: Australia
| Posted: 10/5/2012 6:20:40 AM
Maybe the woman just needed someone close for comfort. Not everyone feels comfortable sitting on their own. I love my own space but I would have happily accepted the intrusion and probably engaged in a conversation. Sometimes older people can go for days without talking to another person. | |
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jonell
Yankees lovin' Pea
PeaNut 5,728
August 2000
Posts: 18,702
Layouts: 4
Loc: Wherever the Air Force sends us, currently Germany
| Posted: 10/5/2012 7:04:10 AM
Maybe she is European.
This was my first thought.
I have to say that I find it so sad that something like this provokes such strong negative reactions in so many people.
I think it's because you were brought up as this being the norm, whereas, it's not like that in the US in most places.
That being said, I'm used to the custom over here (Europe) and you are welcome to sit at my table anytime, Gar. I'll let you do most of the talking though, because I love the English accent. | |
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scrapaholicmt
I reject your reality & substitute my own
PeaNut 183,518
January 2005
Posts: 12,103
Layouts: 64
Loc: Big Sky Country
| Posted: 10/5/2012 7:04:46 AM
Sitting at Starbucks and someone I don't know shares my table. Is that wierd?
I'm a people person, sit with me, chat with me...doesn't bother me a bit. IF I'm busy, I'll tell you. IF I'm waiting for someone, I'll tell you the seat is taken. We have a very small restaurant, just 28 seats. Sometimes it's packed and people have to share. Sometimes two people will strike up a conversation between tables and before you know it one has moved and they're sitting together. We call it friendly. Not weird. | |
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peawii
PeaNut
PeaNut 512,090
June 2011
Posts: 178
Layouts: 45
| Posted: 10/5/2012 8:30:32 AM
I'm a quiet person and I don't think I would be bothered by this at all. If I was trying to work on something and she was talking my ear off then it would bother me. | |
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GrinningCat
Proudly Canadian
PeaNut 43,061
July 2002
Posts: 31,526
Layouts: 2
| Posted: 10/5/2012 8:31:40 AM
That was my first thought. I wouldn't have sat down without at least asking if the seat was free/you had anyone joining you, but otherwise I might well have done the same rather than 'block' a table a larger group could otherwise use.
That has never crossed my mind. I pick a table and sit at it. Unless I'm sitting alone at a table for 6 or more, I'd never consider that I'm "blocking" a table for a group because I'm sitting alone. It's a table and I'm using it.
And yes, I'm the one that was bitchy about her sitting down without a query or any kind of introduction. I value my private space, I don't want people looking over my shoulder while I work. Yes, I'm aware that people may be watching while I'm working in public, but not some random stranger just plopping themselves down as if they knew me. Again, if the place was jammed and she asked, sure... sit down. But the thing that pissed me off was her lack of courtesy, not necessarily the sitting down part. | |
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annecards
PeaNut
PeaNut 562,879
August 2012
Posts: 52
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 10/5/2012 8:46:43 AM
I would feel uncomfortable, as well. I'm very cautious with strangers | |
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Maizie
* Happy Camper *
PeaNut 223,117
September 2005
Posts: 16,350
Layouts: 22
Loc: Heffalump Hollow
| Posted: 10/5/2012 9:23:32 AM
I frequent coffee shops a lot and I see it all the time!! I have offered up my table before to someone looking. I think it is just coffee culture!
ETA: I am in the great land of Starbucks though, Washington state. I honestly feel like it is just part of coffee culture here and NOT AT ALL UNCOMMON! Just relax, enjoy and sip -- they are just looking for the same. | |
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yellow5
PeaNut
PeaNut 491,305
December 2010
Posts: 489
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 10/5/2012 9:28:33 AM
I think it's weird. So much so that I would've gotten up, gathered my stuff and moved. If I go to a Starbucks, I'm there to get stuff done -- you know, work. I don't want to be stared down by a stranger sitting at my table making me feel weird.
It's NOT weird if the coffee shop was so busy that all the tables are full. It's rather presumptuous of her to sit there - how does she know you're not waiting for someone?.
Honestly, I *don't* like interacting with strangers and I'm not a "people person." I *like* my me time. I don't enjoy small talk and yes, in this particular situation, I would rather be left alone with my headphones, computer and paperwork. If I'm sitting at Starbucks alone w/ my computer, I'm there to get away from home distractions so I can focus. A stranger sitting across from me would be a major distraction. | |
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TheBiscuitScraps
Bubbie is my most prized title.
PeaNut 99,833
August 2003
Posts: 5,226
Layouts: 2
Loc: Raleigh, North Carolina
| Posted: 10/5/2012 9:41:48 AM
I just finished reading "the rest of the story" here...and now I want a Starbucks, but cannot go out. I have our Grandson with me and DH took the car with the carseat!!
BTW, (off topic) DGS knows I'm going for coffee when we turn into the parking lot where our *bucks is located. I just think that funny. | |
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ScarlettForever
PeaNut
PeaNut 283,414
November 2006
Posts: 271
Layouts: 0
Loc: Louisiana
 | Posted: 10/5/2012 9:44:42 AM
Yes gar I agree - what's the big deal? | |
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purplenightowl
PeaAddict
PeaNut 533,578
December 2011
Posts: 1,038
Layouts: 0
Loc: the planet earth
| Posted: 10/5/2012 10:03:23 AM
I think our culture has become so space controlled and isolated within our laptops and other electronics that we (the general American public WE) are the crazies.
Humans are social animals and it is a shame we are so afraid of interaction.
I love riding Amtrak and being seated with strangers for meals and on cruise ships. We have had some of the nicest conversations that way.
I really like how you phrased this...what you said is so very true. | |
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auntkelly
BOOMER SOONER!
PeaNut 142,266
April 2004
Posts: 8,203
Layouts: 0
Loc: Texas
| Posted: 10/5/2012 10:38:31 AM
I do think it's strange that she didn't ask before she sat down, but I don't think it's strange that she sat at your table. She probably noticed you were alone at a table for four and didn't want to take up another table for four in case the place did get busy.
Maybe she is European. When I grew up in Europe, it was the norm to sit at tables with strangers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma and we did the same thing. There were two restaurants in town and they were very busy during the lunch and dinner hour. If you noticed two people in a booth for four when the restaurant was full, it was the custom to ask if you could join them, regardless of whether you knew them. If you shared a booth with someone, you could choose whether to carry on a conversation with them. | |
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gar
Whoopea!
PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
Posts: 12,443
Layouts: 0
Loc: England UK
| Posted: 10/5/2012 12:16:53 PM
That being said, I'm used to the custom over here (Europe) and you are welcome to sit at my table anytime, Gar. I'll let you do most of the talking though, because I love the English accent.
Well, please do come and sit with me but we'll have to share the conversation because I like your accents too
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2boysandwill
My turn to hit the PEAnata!!!
PeaNut 121,208
December 2003
Posts: 13,118
Layouts: 71
Loc: SCV, CA
| Posted: 10/5/2012 1:03:26 PM
It is fun to mess with people. Occasionally I'll get in the elevator and not face the door. It weirds everyone out. The hard part is not to laugh when you do it- because then you really do look like a crazy person.
ITA...I wanna ride the elevator with you now!! LOL!! | |
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MerryMom937
PeaFixture
PeaNut 472,567
June 2010
Posts: 3,076
Layouts: 0
| Posted: 10/5/2012 1:16:19 PM
When she sat down she just smiled and said "Hello"... and now we are just sitting here... 2 strangers sharing a table at Starbucks.
Did you say Hello back? | |
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shannoninkc
PeaAddict
PeaNut 304,038
March 2007
Posts: 1,354
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Loc: Where you vacation.
| Posted: 10/5/2012 1:34:01 PM
I'm funny about stuff like that too. I call it "elevator rules".
Two Saturday's in a row, I was the first person in the gym to run on the treadmill. 20 treadmills. I pick the very last one cause I don't like to see people, look at people, talk to people or anything else deemed sociable while trying to work out.
Five minutes into my run, girl gets on the treadmill right next to me. All others are open. Okay, fine. It's not my treadmill. Then she does her "routine". Runs for about 30 seconds, hops off to the side bars, towels off profusely for about 60 seconds, reads her book, walks on treadmill at an insane incline while holding on for dear life (don't get me started on that action...) and doing the whole thing over again. She arranged and toweled off more than she worked out. But more importantly it was completely distracting to me. So, guess what, she did it again the next Saturday! I wanted to punch her...and was totally talking bad about her in my head. I wouldn't say anything though...cause well, whatever. Luckily the heat dropped off and I'm back outside.
So..."elevator rules"...she should have left at least one treadmill between us! Just like you space yourself out on an elevator! Just like you don't sit in someone's spot at church! Just like you don't put your mat next to mine in bootcamp when I've sat in that same spot for over a year! Sheesh people, come on!!! | |
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nicolemartel
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 298,188
February 2007
Posts: 2,123
Layouts: 560
Loc: MARYLAND
| Posted: 10/5/2012 1:59:43 PM
It would be wierd for me too, but I wouldn't be upset... just a little uncomfortable... | |
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Sparkleplenty
BucketHead
PeaNut 79,514
April 2003
Posts: 539
Layouts: 6
| Posted: 10/5/2012 2:19:36 PM
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gar
Whoopea!
PeaNut 172,235
October 2004
Posts: 12,443
Layouts: 0
Loc: England UK
| Posted: 10/5/2012 2:22:55 PM
I'll get in the elevator and not face the door.
It's even funnier if you say "I guess you're wondering why I called this meeting."
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