S/O sharing tables at Starbucks--

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Posted 10/5/2012 by peawii in NSBR Board
 

peawii
PeaNut

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Posted: 10/5/2012 8:38:10 AM
I have never went to a restaurant or coffee shop alone. Drive-thru sure, but to actually sit down alone by myself- it's never happened. Is this odd?

aprilfay21
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Posted: 10/5/2012 8:40:57 AM
Me either. They're always too crowded for me. If I'm going to relax and read or something then I'd rather chill in my car.

ETA: I've went to restaurants alone and to the movies once. I enjoy it occasionally, although sometimes I feel awkward. lol




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GrinningCat
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Posted: 10/5/2012 8:41:32 AM
I don't think that's strange. I do it all the time, but I don't think it's strange that you haven't. Is there a particular reason why you haven't, or has it just not occured to you to do it?

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StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 10/5/2012 8:48:25 AM
I never did - then I had to wait for someone once, decided to get a drink & sat down. Now I do it often.

Sometimes I feel it's great to get lost in a "crowd" so to speak. I usually have my iPad with me, a lot of times with earbuds in - which to me is a signal that I want to be left alone, and I usually am.

If another wants to sit at my table or couch, I personally don't see what the big deal is, a polite nod or smile is all that I feel is required.

FWIW - I have also dined alone, gone to the movies alone & even attended a concert solo.

peawii
PeaNut

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Posted: 10/5/2012 8:48:35 AM
I think it's out of my comfort zone. If I'm alone I would rather go shopping and get a coffee to go. Or better yet stay home. It's something I never think of doing I guess.

biochemipea
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Posted: 10/5/2012 8:49:35 AM
I have been at coffee shops plenty by myself.... to work, study, because I had time between dropping off kids and picking them up, because I was taking an afternoon to myself.

I am sure there are millions of people in the world who have never had coffee by themselves.






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eriusa
BucketHead

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Posted: 10/5/2012 8:52:31 AM
I do it often. I even go to the movies by myself.


Erica

GrinningCat
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Posted: 10/5/2012 8:54:28 AM

I think it's out of my comfort zone. If I'm alone I would rather go shopping and get a coffee to go. Or better yet stay home. It's something I never think of doing I guess.
Fair enough. It's good to be cognisant of our personal comfort levels. Everyone is different... and that's a good thing.

*Lena*
AncestralPea

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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:04:12 AM
I have never went to a restaurant by myself or sat in a coffee shop, even when studying. I preferred to study in the library where it's not so busy and loud. I'm an extrovert so I don't like to do these types of things by myself. If I don't have anyone to go out with I'd rather stay home and order food in and watch a movie in my pajamas.
I will say that lately the idea of going by myself to Barnes & Noble, grabbing a coffee and reading some magazines there seems kinda nice.




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maryannscraps
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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:05:07 AM
I do it all the time. I work alone at home, and sometimes the walls of my house close in on me. I try to work in a coffee shop about once a week -- breaks up my day a little bit. And they have great coffee.

I like to go to a restaurant and read a book while I'm eating. It's a treat. I hardly ever go to the movies at all (with or without someone else), but it wouldn't faze me at all to go alone.

TheBiscuitScraps
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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:23:34 AM
My parents dropped me off at a hotel in Atlanta, one block from my first real job...I did not even have a car or an apartment. I lived in the hotel for a couple of weeks. That is when I realized I could eat alone (at a Walgreens counter or a fine dining restaurant), go to the movie alone, etc.

That was in 1968 and I've never looked back.

I travel to Europe alone for vacation. I've been married for over 40 years, but DH and I are very independent if we want to do something the other person does not or has time to do.

But not every one has done nor wants to do that...and that is OK.






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pretzels
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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:27:06 AM
I got lunch alone pretty much five days a week. I enjoy it because it is one of the few times I am truly alone.

Maizie
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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:31:57 AM
I **LOVE** to go to a restaurant, starbucks, wine, etc. ALONE!!!! At one point in my life I would not have been comfortable doing that, but have matured into appreciating it... that along with a meal, beverage or quiet time alone without my children pestering me, solitude and quiet *bliss* I mean that with the upmost love of course!!!

In fact just last night I was meeting a friend for a drink and meeting and I went over an hour early just to get a bit of me time first. Brought my book, notebook and Ipad.... I loved it!



blondiek237
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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:35:04 AM
Biscuit--I am envious. I will eat alone, but I can't even imagine going on vacation alone--I think that is awesome (my sister did it once and I am still in awe about it)I could never do that.

eebud
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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:37:53 AM
I can only think of one time that I have ever gone to a coffee house to sit. I was out of town and was meeting up with a friend for a visit. Restaurants on the other hand, I have gone alone many times. For one thing, in the past, I used to travel for work occasionally. If I was on a work trip, I either went to a restaurant or get something to go and sat in a hotel room. There was one city I used to go to where I would sit at the bar at Applebee's, have a drink, order food and chit chat with others who were there for work doing the same thing.

I think for me, what I find weird is when someone can't go do some of these things alone. Not saying that is a bad thing but to me, it is weird.





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ScarlettForever
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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:42:00 AM
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BucketHead

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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:45:40 AM
I don't think it's odd, but I'm one who will do anything by myself. The only time I don't like it is if I'm in a new city by myself (until I get comfortable and know I won't get lost! Lol!)
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crimsoncat05
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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:50:21 AM
before I met my BF, I did that stuff all the time- I'd never have gone to the movies if I didn't go by myself! So, I'm assuming, OP, that you're married or in a relationship (?), but I do still think that's kind of odd...

I love going to the bookstore or to the library by myself and just hanging out. My BF hates things like that, so he would never spend the day like that... but then, I'm an introvert, so I don't have a lot of female friends that I hang out with, either.

And, if I'm spending the day at a bookstore, estate sale, or library, I'd actually rather do it by myself so I don't have the *pressure* of being entertaining to another person; I can just browse, read what I want, go to whatever stores I want, and spend however much time I want in them, because I don't have to worry about whether the other person I'm with is having a good time or not. I also love going to the movies by myself.

ETA: I don't like coffee, so that is the only reason I would never hang out in a coffee shop- a meal at a restaurant, though, would be no problem.



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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:55:59 AM
I have no problem with dining or traveling solo. When I was younger, it made me a basket case, but over the years I've gotten used to it and now look forward to it!

I've met some really interesting people over the years, enjoyed some quiet me-time in restaurants (usually with a book or iPad). Along the way, I've developed a pretty good sense of independence and more self confidence.

I refuse to be one of those women who cannot do anything alone, and then end up miserable when they become widowed or divorced. I've seen it happen too many times and just refuse to become that.


I think it's out of my comfort zone. If I'm alone I would rather go shopping and get a coffee to go. Or better yet stay home. It's something I never think of doing I guess.


But isn't it better to push the edges of those comfort zones? By doing so you grow. That which does not grow becomes stagnant and eventually dies. Better to be reaching for the next step, no matter how small.


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Posted: 10/5/2012 10:05:49 AM
My DH doesn't like to go out into crowded places. So I go to a lot of places by my self, my BFF is in a different town so I don't get to go with her as often as I'd like. I also go to lunch my self when I am working.

It took me a long time to be brave enough to do that though.

I don't think I could go to vacation by myself yet.


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AncestralPea

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Posted: 10/5/2012 10:32:08 AM
I love spending time with my friends and family, but at my heart I am a total loner

I eat out, go to movies, shop alone and for the most part prefer it that way. Especially now since having a child, it's the only time alone I get.

Aside from trips to the cottage with my family, I have never taken a vacation with anyone else. I travelled Asia and Europe alone for a few years when I was younger, and it was just awesome. Sure you meet people along the way, and I am more apt to meet people when I am alone it seems. I liked only ever having my schedule to worry about and I never felt the need to do anything that anyone else wanted to do, I SHOUlD get around to taking a vacation with my husband one day!

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Posted: 10/5/2012 10:41:22 AM
I hate to be all handslappy and grammar police like, but three people have done this on this thread, I can't help myself.
It's I have never gone...not I have never went.

And yes I have gone to eat or have coffee by myself, but I don't find it weird if you have not.


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KathrynPea
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Posted: 10/5/2012 12:18:26 PM
I have no problem doing things alone. On my ten year anniversary of leaving my ex husband, I went out to dinner, to the movies and took a stroll. I had a wonderful time.

I kissed my hand at the door and asked myself to meet again next year. I find that I enjoy my own company.

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Posted: 10/5/2012 12:23:20 PM
I don't think it's odd. It's just your personality.

Personally, I enjoy going to the movies & out to eat alone. But, I also know that this is very much my nature.




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myshelly
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Posted: 10/5/2012 12:35:13 PM
I have gone plenty of places by myself - restaurants, movies, concerts, theatre, opera.

But I just don't understand the appeal of sitting in Starbucks. At all.

If I wan to enjoy a nice coffee by myself, I do it a home where I know I can have peace and quiet. If I need to work I work in my office. If I need to study I study at my desk.

I'll sit in Starbucks when I'm meeting friends. Or when my 5 yr old begs to go inside and have a snack and talk and play.

But it is not somewhere I would enjoy being by myself.

And don't get me started on the jerks who look shocked that you are talking in their "office" when you chat with a friend over coffee.


2boysandwill
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Posted: 10/5/2012 1:00:09 PM
is it odd that you've never dined alone? No, of course not.

I've done that a few times and actually enjoyed it

gmcwife1
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Posted: 10/5/2012 1:20:25 PM
I won't say it's odd. I have a few friends that are not do things alone and some friends that are do a lot alone

I love driving to Oregon by myself and I of course stop and have lunch (or breakfast) on my way down


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divinghkns
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Posted: 10/5/2012 4:40:53 PM
I never used to and then I travelled a ton for work which meant dining alone quite a bit. I don't think I would enjoy it if I didn't have a smart phone or a book/magazine to look at, or in the case of coffee, perhaps a laptop to use. In other words, I wouldn't want to just sit somewhere with nothing to do. But with a form of entertainment, I love it once in awhile.

You might enjoy it if you try it. I wouldn't want to do it all the time but once in awhile is very nice. Especially if I need to get something done (like a book for book club, or a Bible study lesson) because then I can't be interrupted by friends/family and I can't get up and just do one more load of laundry (because we all know then you never sit back down).

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Posted: 10/5/2012 8:31:23 PM
Yep


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GIPfunny

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Posted: 10/5/2012 8:55:12 PM
If I have alone time I don't want to spend it in a coffee shop or restaurant. I don't think it's odd.






TXDancermom
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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:16:51 PM
no, I didn't really eat at restaurants alone until I started traveling on business - then it was either room service all the time, or tables by myself (with a good book!!)


camcas2
BucketHead

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Posted: 10/5/2012 9:23:39 PM
i think coffee shops are the perfect place to sit and relax by yourself,get a nice hot drink to sip, and people watch. Lovely bit of quiet rejuvenating me time.
I love to do this when i am forced to wait -eg getting the car serviced , or between appointments. sometimes I take my hand stitching projects with me and sit and sip and watch and stitch.
in fact...now i feel like doing just that!
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