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jennifercw
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 |  Posted: 10/7/2012 7:43:34 PM
Oldest dd has been on a recreational soccer team with most of the same girls for a few years now. They've had ups and downs - pretty sure they didn't win a single game their first season playing U12. But their current season has been going great.
Two weeks ago they played an obviously inexperienced team - despite our coaches moving the highest scorer into goal, and switching the defensive and offensive players - the final score was 10-0. The other coach pitched an absolute fit with the league. Our coaches were admonished and an email was sent around to ALL coaches that a team is not allowed to score again once they are up by 5. I'm a little unclear about exactly how this is worded but pretty sure that's the jist...
So yesterday they were up against another inexperienced team. Our coaches, knowing there might be an issue, started my dd as a center forward - she plays center back. I think she scored in the first 2 or 3 minutes of the game and the score was 5-0 by halftime. So for the entire 2nd half our girls did almost nothing but pass the ball back and forth to each other. They were literally told not to score, even on a penalty shot. If the ball got anywhere near the opposing goal our girls would turn it around and kick it back to our side of the field.
I have mixed feelings about this - it sucks to lose, and sucks worse when the other team runs up the score. Our girls have been there so they know how it feels. On the other hand - they aren't 8 any more, these are 13 year olds. And I almost think what our girls were doing in the second half could have made it worse for the other team. It was VERY obvious that our girls were not even trying to score and their girls still couldn't make anything happen. In the end - both teams walked away from the game bummed out.
So what's the answer? Is there a better way to handle this type of situation? |
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Burning Feather
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myshelly
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 | Posted: 10/7/2012 7:48:18 PM
Hmm, I came in here to answer this question bc my DS plays on a rec team and their league has the same rule.
But they are a team of 4 yr olds.
I think the rule is good for them.
But there's a huge difference btwn 4 yr olds and 12 yr olds, so I'm not sure what the answer is. | |
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Just Tricia
StuckOnPeas
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 7:49:56 PM
I've only seen mercy ruling in softball / baseball / kickball. Once you're up by so many at the end of a specific inning, the game is over. I don't know that it would work in soccer? Either end the game early, or you end up doing what your team was, which seems more humiliating. I think what they did in the first game, moving everyone's position, makes more sense. If they're really THAT bad, they should be in a different league, I'd possible. |
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Georgiapea
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 | Posted: 10/7/2012 7:51:09 PM
So did your girls win 5-0? An inexperienced team needs to gain experience and learn from their mistakes, right? Every team is inexperienced at one time. So the other team didn't really feel good about your team 'giving' them the advantage?
Switching player positions might be ok, but to absolutely 'give' the other team points isn't right. They won't feel good about a win they achieved that way. | |
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voltagain
OklaPhoma
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 | Posted: 10/7/2012 7:53:35 PM
When my boys were playing rec sports the mercy rule simply ended the game early once the point spread was deemed to be wide enough (don't recall what it was) |
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gmcwife1
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 7:56:05 PM
I think that the rule is fine at the very, very early ages of organized sports.
Beyond that, no. That's life and kids need to learn to deal with it.
People do not get better at anything by being lowered to the lowest denominator. They only get better when they are pushed to achieve.
I completely agree with this.
How sad for both teams 
~ Dori ~
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LolaLayout
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 | Posted: 10/7/2012 8:01:04 PM
I don't have kids in competitive sports, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.... Mercy rules are ridiculous and defeat the purpose of playing a sport. The whole purpose is to win. And win gloriously if that is possible. Could you imagine what the Olympics would look like with mercy rules?!
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skish
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 8:02:19 PM
I can see it for the younger kids. But older kids? No way. I think we coddle kids way too much. My son plays rec league soccer. This season, they've won all of their games. We've had scores 8-0, 14-3, 7-0. The others have been closer. The other teams need to learn from it. I'd feel the same if it was my son's team losing (and he's been on a losing team in the past).
One problem I think we have here, is that it seems like all the other teams have players playing up. My son is U15 and his team has just towered over most of the other teams. Yesterday, there was a little boy on the other team who didn't look any older than 8. |
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moveablefeast
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 | Posted: 10/7/2012 8:08:45 PM
Some teams, when posed with this scenario, would simply run the score up as high as possible. It's an attempt against severely unsportsmanlike conduct. It wouldn't need to be there if there weren't teams that would take advantage of a significant skill differential with the opponent. At some point, you're not just winning a game.
I don't like it, but I understand why it's there.
Our softball league (beer league) simply ends the game at the sixth inning should there be a 10-point scoring gap. Since we play doubleheaders, it's just as well - you simply move on to the next game or you go home, the winning team has a W in their column, done and done. Nobody gets any benefit out of continuing to play at that point anyway. | |
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GIPfunny
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 8:17:55 PM
I say end the game early. My ds plays rec basketball and his team is usually the worst. Seriously, by the 4th quarter if there's a big point spread just stop the game already! It's painful to watch. | |
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walkerdill
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 8:26:23 PM
I dont have a problem with mercy rules but I think its crazy to be told not to score. Changing up the positions is fair and alot of times you find out that other players that dont norally play certain postions end up being pretty good | |
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purpledaisy
Calm
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 8:27:18 PM
Some teams, when posed with this scenario, would simply run the score up as high as possible. It's an attempt against severely unsportsmanlike conduct. It wouldn't need to be there if there weren't teams that would take advantage of a significant skill differential with the opponent. At some point, you're not just winning a game.
I agree with this.
Nobody gets any benefit out of continuing to play at that point anyway.
And with this as well.
I am a fan of mercy rules for the most part. Having been on the receiving end of a JV volleyball coach running up the score with one server, I can see how things like that can be absolutely demoralizing to a inexperienced team. I also understand that as kids get older, the need for mercy rules should lesson. |
Becca
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Dock Master
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 8:47:03 PM
My dd plays rec soccer on the military base. Every season they have a skills assessment and then a draft. The kids are seldom on the same team from season to season. They may have the same coach and some of the same players, but for the most part the coaches pick a new team every season. In my experience this keeps the teams pretty even within the league. The teams in each group, in our case U14/U16, only play the other teams on base. We don't travel, except in the fall after regular season play when All Star teams are formed for tournaments out in town.
We seldom have runaway games. Are some of the teams better than others, sure. We end the season with an in house tournament. To me this format ensures that all the kids get to win in one season or another. After all it is Recreational Soccer, not League or Middle School or High School.
Mommy brag: DD tried out for her MS team this year (1st year eligible) and made the team no problem. Her coach pulled me aside the other night to tell me what a great attitude she has, and how she appreciates her can do attitude.
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Jordy
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BrinaG
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 8:53:47 PM
I have seen it handled well, and I have seen it handled stupidly.
My son and daughter play travel hockey. The rule in the league is that if the team is up by more than 5 in the third period they run the clock - it, if play stops for an off side or an icing call the clock keeps running. They also stop posting the score on the board, but it is kept officially. In league play most coaches will make their teams pass a certain number of times before shooting. I like this system, as it doesn't unduly penalize the talented team, while at the same time limiting just how high the score gets run. In tournament play total goals scored is sometimes used as a tie break, so coaches are more likely to run up the score.
My daughter also plays AYSO soccer. This year they seem to have a new system - during the fourth quarter the team that is leading plays short one player. It is the stupidest rule I have ever come across. It is U10. The goal at this age is to work on positional play. To suddenly take a team down a player works against that goal. | |
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Fraidyscrapper
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 8:58:39 PM
It's rec sports.
Not for school, not for travel. Shoot, in our rec league, no one even keeps standings.
My dd is 9. Her division is 4th and 5th grade. Well, somehow all the 4th graders are on dd's team. First game of the season, the older girls were up by 3 in five minutes. What is the point of making the girls play 90 minutes to lose that badly? It's rec sports - it's supposed to be fun. So the other coach told his girls not to score. Everyone played 90 minutes of soccer - which means they got better - instead of moping on the field muttering about the age differential. | |
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SinCity2003
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:01:35 PM
This plays right into the "everybody wins" mentality that I believe has done nothing but harm children. | |
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FlaMom
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:07:34 PM
In Little League Baseball (I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong), a team may score no more than 5 runs in an inning and the game ends when one team is up by 10 runs (if the losing team can't close the gap during their next at-bat). This is at the 9-11yo level.
I think the 10-run-rule is in effect for the 12-13yo level as well, but I'm not sure about the 5-run per inning rule. I seem to recall it doesn't apply to the older boys.
In my opinion, knowing nothing about soccer, the "don't score" rule is silly and pointless. |
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hop2
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:13:35 PM
I cant really care either way. bit i have seen a scenario where i thought it made sense. Each year players are rated by the coaches and each season we have a draft. We rarely have runaway games. However on the off chance that we do our 'mercy rule' is that once a team is up by 5 we have to remove a player. Each time we score after that we have to remove another player.
We did one time play a team who had 2 of their best players out for the game. So we were up by 5, sat a player out, scored again sat another out etc. we ended up playing with 2 defense a goalie and a midfielder the rest of the game and they still could not score. Well not for themselves, our last 2 goals they accidentally scored for us. We just wanted to go home, it wasn't fun it was painful to watch and painful to play. These are children, it want their day that day. What purpose would it serve to keep going.
There are benefits to running upbthe score. When league standings are tied at the end of a season many of the tie breakers have to do with scores for example total goal scored all season is the first tue breaker. So some coaches will run up their scores. | |
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SmallTownGirlie
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 | Posted: 10/7/2012 9:14:51 PM
Last year at our first round high school football game, it was something like 48-0 just before half. Our Athletic Director was on the sidelines telling the coach, "Do not score again before half." "Do not be over 50 points at half" Our coach had already put in some 2nd string players, and said they would only run one play, hand off and run straight up the middle. Our coach asked what he should do, if our player breaks free.
We were not trying to run up the score, the other team just could not stop us. The final score was 70 something to 0. No starters played the second half. | |
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gryroagain
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 | Posted: 10/7/2012 9:20:42 PM
In rec leagues, I am fine with a rule like that. Even at 12-13, there are kids who never played before, want some exercise, want to play. So many sports (soccer is one, where I live!) if you don't start at 3, forget playing. It's supposed to be fun sport and exercise, not a super competitive thing where you wipe the floor with the other team. They have competitive, travel league, picked teams kind of leagues for that.
IMO, the lack of truly recreational sport is a big problem. Kids can't really start to play anything after 9 or so, they are just too far behind. With a mercy rule, it stays fun, like it should, to encourage more kids to play.
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Peabay
Happy now?
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:25:32 PM
IMO, the lack of truly recreational sport is a big problem. Kids can't really start to play anything after 9 or so, they are just too far behind. With a mercy rule, it stays fun, like it should, to encourage more kids to play.
ITA. |
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voltagain
OklaPhoma
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:31:33 PM
MO, the lack of truly recreational sport is a big problem. Kids can't really start to play anything after 9 or so, they are just too far behind. With a mercy rule, it stays fun, like it should, to encourage more kids to play. >>>>>>>>>>>>
I agree. So I think a mercy rule in a recreational league is fine and should be geared to not prolonging the humiliation of losing.
Different types of leagues serve different purposes. A mercy rule might not be appropriate for an all stars league or any other highly competitive (to get on the team) league. |
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jennifercw
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:36:43 PM
So the other team didn't really feel good about your team 'giving' them the advantage?
The other coach allegedly was upset that our girls were "messing with them." But I take that with a grain of salt because I heard it from my dd.
Some teams, when posed with this scenario, would simply run the score up as high as possible. It's an attempt against severely unsportsmanlike conduct.
I get that. Running up the score just for the sake of running it up is not cool. But I don't believe it is unsportsmanlike conduct simply to put the ball in the net. That's the whole point of soccer. So where is the line between scoring goals and running up the score? It seems that our league has set that line when a team is 5 goals up. If so, it might be a good idea to end the game at that point.
To keep playing creates a no win situation for everyone involved. If the better team keeps playing as usual they risk being accused of unsportsmanlike conduct for doing exactly what they practice 3 hours a week to do - put the ball in the net. And a team like my daughter's feels kind of bad about the win because they realize that it probably made the other team feel bad. Or they are told not to score, don't get to play to their potential, and are still accused of "messing with" the other team (which would definately be unsportsmanlike, don't you think?).
The not-as-good team either feels humiliated that they lost by such a significant margin or they feel humiliated because their shortcomings were made so obvious.
So the other coach told his girls not to score. Everyone played 90 minutes of soccer - which means they got better
All the passing our girls were doing back and forth in the second half absolutely gave them a good chance to work on those skills. I just worry that it was still at the expense of the other team.
So I think a mercy rule in a recreational league is fine and should be geared to not prolonging the humiliation of losing.
That's the problem with our so called mercy rule. I don't think it did anything to not prolong the humiliation of losing.
With a mercy rule, it stays fun, like it should, to encourage more kids to play.
Pretty sure this game wasn't fun for anyone involved. (Well I did rather enjoy seeing my daughter score a goal. Since she's a defensive player that pretty much never happens! But that was the only fun part.)
You know what might have worked, and been fun? Ending the regular game at halftime - then finding some pinnies or just having some of the girls switch jerseys - to send half our team to their side and half of theirs to ours. Then scrimmage for the second half. The other team could have gotten some good experience and everyone could have played to their full potential. |
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Scrapalotomous
2 Headed Tasmanian Pea
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:39:37 PM
Having played on a hockey team that used to be beaten, on everage, 12-0 and one time (or more LOL) by 20+ to 0 - well it's just life.
We were high school. We sucked and we knew we sucked but we had a ball. We never stopped trying, we were always good sports and it got to the stage that when we scored a very rare goal (like only a handful of times a season) the opposition players and their supporters cheered and celebrated as much as we did LOL..... Man I miss that. 4 years of sucking at a game taught me more about good sportsmanship and how to be a team player than any thing else!!!
I think that after a certain age kids just have to learn that they aren't going to win every game but how you play, how you handle defeat etc are more important.
I clearly recall after one game where we were thrashed the opposing coach came over and spent about 20 minutes with our team (we didn't have a coach, just a parent supervisor) teaching us how to approach a short corner better. He used the opposition players to help us out. Now that was good sportsmanship, being gracious in their winning and just all round nice people stuff!! |
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ksuheather
low-information individual
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:41:12 PM
I don't have a problem with mercy rules for little bitty babies. When I played softball we had a 10 run rule.
My daughter plays soccer on base and at all ages it is rec. there is no official score kept and they emphasis is on learning skills and having fun. Coaches are not allowed to draft but players may request a coach each season. That said, she had an awesome coach and several people requested him. The kids all moved up to the next age level and we had a team of tiny
people and that season we could have used a mercy rule! However at the end of the 4th season playing together and getting to the top of the age level they were playing great. |
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wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack sniffer!
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:42:25 PM
I don't think it means "everyone is a winner." I think it means,"This isn't fun anymore- just claim the win, and stop the slaughter. It's like when coaches put in their 2nd string in college games. In our city rec league, they don't keep track of score- of course, the kids know when they win a game and lose a game, but there is no championship and whatnot. They do that in the competitive leagues.
I don't believe in the "every kid a winner," but I don't find watching soccer games that are 10-0 or football games that are 50-0 to be fun to watch- no matter who is playing. At some point, I stop enjoying a team's win, and feel for the other team who is not obviously in our competition. |
Kris
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mdoc
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:45:23 PM
My kids have been on both sides of the mercy rule in AYSO. I was on the board and we occasionally got complaints about coaches running up the score, but if the coach said he tried to prevent it, we didn't get excited about it. What we expected coaches to do was first put anyone who had scored on defense, then pull a player, then tell anyone who had scored not to score again, then tell everyone that any shots on goal could be made only with the non-dominant foot (which, IMO, was great skill development for the team that was winning). If that didn't work, then it was too bad for the team that was behind. Some coaches would go further and pull two players, or not let anyone shoot at all. Frankly, I always found the no shots at all, just dribble and pass around the other team, to be rather demeaning. I'd rather see the score run up. | |
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jennifercw
5,000 FINALLY!
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:45:25 PM
Scrapalotomous - If 2Peas had a like button I'd be pushing it on your post!  |
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wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack sniffer!
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:46:38 PM
Oh, and if I were in charge of the league where the OP was the case, I wouldn't think it was cool that the other team had to try so hard not to score. I would have wanted the game called- at whatever reasonable point, declared the winners, and then maybe mix up the teams and play a fun scrimmage. |
Kris
Mom to Kyrie(9), Isaiah(8), and Jayden(5)
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wholarmor
I'm NOT a sack sniffer!
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 9:53:41 PM
I always found the no shots at all, just dribble and pass around the other team, to be rather demeaning.
I do agree with that. That's why I think the game should just be called, and they should mix up the teams and play the rest as a fun scrimmage. |
Kris
Mom to Kyrie(9), Isaiah(8), and Jayden(5)
my blog
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Chopped Liver *U*
Running from the drama llama
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 10:04:14 PM
Hmm, my son is almost 14 and there is a mercy rule in every sport he plays in.
In football it's 28 points.
In hockey it's 7 goals.
In wrestling it's 15 points.
In baseball it's 10 runs.
That being the deficit, not the total score. In any of those cases, the game is over. You don't just dick around with the other team for the rest of the game.
Today Corey's football team was up 26-0 at the end of the first half. Our coach tried to be nice and wouldn't let our kids score. I think that's just frustrating for everyone. His heart was in the right place, but it makes for a terribly boring game. And I always feel bad for the kid who gets the opportunity to score and can't especially if it's not one of the better players on the team. |
Sam
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KimberlyR
StuckOnPeas
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 11:12:58 PM
In my son's highschool football league, the mercy rule kicks in when one team is up by 35 or more but only in the 2nd half. The mercy rule just means the clock runs continually instead of stopping. It just shortens a game but doesn't stop it when the score gets out of hand.
I think this mercy rule works well. | |
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LonghornMom
BucketHead
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| Posted: 10/7/2012 11:45:20 PM
We have mercy rules in our rec baseball league (only 5 runs per inning and they stop keeping score at 15). They play the game out (time wise) but no score is kept on the board. This is 8U boys, by the way.
DS also plays rec soccer but there is no mercy rule that I know of. Of course there is no official scores kept in our league at 8U, so our kids never notice what the score is - they could be up ten or down 5. 
I do think what happened at your daughter's ge seems a bit ridiculous. They should either call the game at a certain point or do away with the mercy rule. At 13 they know if they are good or not... | |
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Tnkrbell13
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
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| Posted: 10/8/2012 1:04:15 AM
Could you imagine what the Olympics would look like with mercy rules?!
From Wikipedia:
In international baseball competitions sanctioned by the IBAF, including Olympic competition and the World Baseball Classic (WBC), games are currently ended when one team is ahead by 10 runs, once at least seven completed innings are played by the trailing team. In women's competition, the same applies after five innings.
When my daughter's softball team was killing an inexperienced team our coach had all the girls bat opposite of their norm. We play in "friendlies" which are a way for the teams to practice in between Tournaments, there is no mercy rule in friendlies, which is what we were doing. I think he did the best thing he could think of to help end our girls running up the score too high.
I don't think they should ever have to stop competing, this gave them a challenge and some of them still did really well. |
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Fraidyscrapper
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| Posted: 10/8/2012 3:59:32 AM
It makes me sad to see all the comments about how a mercy rule is responsible for the decline of character in our country. I guess that might be true, if the only goal in participating in rec leagues was to win.
Not physical fitness.
Or to learn a sport.
Or being on a team.
Or graciousness.
If I wanted my daughter to win, win, win, then my happy ass would be driving her all over the state on travel soccer.
Why is competition and winning a more important takeaway than the other benefits of rec soccer?
Btw, my daughter's team did get a new player this week - midseason! She is a lovely girl and works hard on the field. I am so glad the team opened a spot for her. | |
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Kelpea
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| Posted: 10/8/2012 5:00:13 AM
don't think it means "everyone is a winner." I think it means,"This isn't fun anymore- just claim the win, and stop the slaughter.
Indeed. We saw this Saturday. Our son's football team was creaming the other team. It was so painful to watch. They stopped scoring when they were winning so easily. The final score was 41-0. By the fourth quarter the kids, instead of running it in for yet another touchdown, would just catch the ball and kneel down. I was proud of them. |
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Sarah*H
Bring me that horizon!
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 | Posted: 10/8/2012 5:17:59 AM
We don't have a mercy rule in our rec or travel soccer programs but they did institute one last year for the indoor soccer league. When a team is up by 5 points, they stop counting any additional scores. (Electronic score boards in that league.) In addition, the other team gets to add a player to the field for every point the other team scores. If the team runs out of players, coaches are allowed to play.
I guess I don't care about the rules at the recreational level but for a travel team, yeah, I think they are a problem. If the score is lopsided, a good coach is going to start moving kids into different positions, putting kids in positions that aren't their strength, and that's an important part of development for those kids too. |
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greenpeakk
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 | Posted: 10/8/2012 5:53:52 AM
I think that it depends on the sport and the intentions of the coach. It is unsportsmanlike conduct to run the score up, but they are kids and have been taught to play to score. You simply cannot tell a kid to all of a sudden not do what they have been coached to do.
That said, sometimes the intentions of the coaches is what should be questioned. My son played mighty mite football this year. His team wasn't good at all. It was pretty obvious that they weren't going to win and maybe not even score during the last game. The other team was ahead my two touchdowns, and with five seconds to go before half-time, the opposing coach called a time-out. He then proceeded to score another touchdown right before half-time. The kids are going to score when the opportunity is there , but that was a cheap shot by that coach to try and cram it down our team's throat right before half-time. | |
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pyccku
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 | Posted: 10/8/2012 11:05:18 AM
don't think it means "everyone is a winner." I think it means,"This isn't fun anymore- just claim the win, and stop the slaughter.
Exactly. If it's a travel team where you are in it to win (and there might be benefits to running up the score, maybe scouts will view the stats, etc), then go for it. But in a rec league?
Our football team has won ONE game in the past 2 years. This year they have been outscored something like 243-41. They get clobbered every time they take the field. Friday night it was 0-50. And this was against a "bad" team!
The kids lose any interest in playing. Sure, they still show up - but they know they're going to lose before they even take the field. The AD at our school decided that it's good for the kids to play against really good teams, because that will make them better. Except that might be true playing against slightly better teams - not playing against teams where you are going to be beat by 50+ points every time!
I play rec league hockey, it's a beginners league. I'm actually in two leagues. In the one league, we are 3-0. We go on the ice and we may or may not win - but we are going to give 100% because we have a chance. The team we beat last week was a great game, we were up 4-1 in the first, then down 4-5 in the second, and brought it back to 8-5 in the third. We fought for every single goal in that game, and it was FUN for both teams. We've also played some teams where the scores was 7-0, and the first week there was a game that was 18-0. That team got bumped up to the advanced league after that. We have a mercy rule that if either team is up by 6, they switch to running time. When we've been up by 5, the captain tells everyone to hold back because we don't want to switch to running time, we want to play.
Anyway, in my other league it's also 'beginners' but there are obviously some who are not. There is one team that won every single game last season - by a large margin. The other teams start to feel that they can't even win, so why bother? You just go out and take your lumps. We still like to play, but it's not even close to being an even match. Some of us on the bench last night were saying that there are some players on that team that really don't belong in the beginner's league, and that it's not a good way to grow the program by allowing them to play. We wouldn't have trouble with them IF they held back against, considering that they are playing AGAINST BEGINNERS. We have a few guys who are not beginners, but who want to skate with their friends/spouses/kids etc. or just work on the basic skills. During games, they hold back a bit to give everyone a chance to play and learn without getting beat down. But there are a couple of guys on that one team who just don't give a damn about that - they are going to play all out, and if you're a beginner, you can just deal with the fact that they are going to go around you. Fine, but that's a good way to kill the program. There are a couple of us who have realized that we can't win against that team, so our goal is instead just to get the puck away from that guy. Last night he did a pass and I was able to grab it from him and boy did he curse!
Anyway...as an ADULT who does rec sports, I like the mercy rule in games because it serves no purpose to humiliate another team. I can only imagine how much more upsetting it would be for little kids. We play rec sports for FUN. And if they're not FUN, why will they want to keep playing? | |
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Cutesuzyq
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| Posted: 10/8/2012 12:57:38 PM
That is ridiculous! What exactly are we teaching these kids these days?! Not everyone wins everything in life and some times life kicks your butt to the extreme and kids today have no clue how to handle it because they never have to deal with disappointment. |
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pyccku
Bagpipes - not just for funerals anymore!
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| Posted: 10/8/2012 1:08:01 PM
What exactly are we teaching these kids these days?! Not everyone wins everything in life and some times life kicks your butt to the extreme and kids today have no clue how to handle it because they never have to deal with disappointment.
Personally, I'd like my kids to learn how to be good sports and how to do their best, even if they don't win. I'd like them to learn to win AND lose graciously. I'd like them to learn how to not take advantage of an opponent's weakness to the point that the opponent no longer cares to play because they've been defeated so badly.
Disappointment at losing a game where you gave your best shot and just didn't come up with a victory? Fine. But losing a game by a huge margin doesn't teach the lesson of how to lose with dignity and sportsmanship any better than losing by a smaller margin.
In my Monday night league, we've played 1 preseason and 3 regular season games. One of the teams is made of true beginners. They have lost ALL of their games so far. It would be fine if it were 3-4 or 5-7. But no - it's been 0-8, 0-6, 1-9. Should we be rejoicing that they are learning a lesson of how to deal with great disappointment?
4 weeks into the season and people on that team are already choosing to forfeit games, players aren't showing up because it isn't FUN. It's recreational league - it's supposed to be FUN. If you want kids to grow up with a love of a sport, it needs to be FUN. The mercy rule helps to keep it FUN. It's really no more fun to be on a side that is winning by 20 points than by 3 points. But it's a heck of a lot more demoralizing to be losing by 20 points than by 3. Demoralizing enough that people stop trying, because they know that they simply can't win. How is that good for the league or the sport, if you have kids (or adults) quitting because they aren't having fun playing?
There are leagues where the goal IS to win at all costs. But in a rec league? Keep it fun so people will want to play. Because you can only have so many house/travel teams. It's the rec leagues that will end up paying the bills.
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