Moms of RECREATIONAL soccer kids...need input...PLEASE read!

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Posted 10/8/2012 by kms66 in NSBR Board
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PeaNut 69,081
February 2003
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Posted: 10/9/2012 10:25:12 AM
I will also add that as they get older there can be alot more bench sitting. My son made varsity soccer but was on the bench more games than he played. He would have preferred to be first string on a team where he could get more play.

He didn't play football even though he loved it because there were 50 kids on the team and most never ever played. But on his rec team he got to play quarterback.

Some kids just really love to play, and for them I would always want a team that allowed them to play, regardless of how well the team did.

On my son's current college baseball team they have abut a 50-50 record, but he gets to pitch and play several different positions, and is even his team captain this year. On a more elite team he probably would not have these opportunities, and if you are not going to play pro, playing time is more important than wins.

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PeaNut 370,521
April 2008
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Posted: 10/9/2012 11:03:02 AM
Last year DD tried to do the travel soccer group - it was a similar experience in that we had often NO subs or 1, sometimes 2 - it was a miserable experience for her from that alone -

Rather than distribute the girls from the "have played together forever" team so taht we would have more players, DD team had JUST enough and the other team had 4 subs/extra players. Of course they were leaders in the league as well, no kidding, it helps to have so many subs, hello? DD team though would often have to borrow a player if someone were sick just to qualify to have enough to play and as I said often more than not had NO subs -

It left a horrible taste in my mouth and was extremely unhappy with the situation.


PeaNut 472,567
June 2010
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Posted: 10/9/2012 11:22:32 AM
In our community the teams stay together until they move up to the next age group. Soccer, Baseball, Softball, Football, Volleyball, Basketball, etc.

When someone new starts OR the youth moves up in a higher age bracket, they have an evaluation day in which the kids complete different drills and all the coaches are there.

They have a system for determining the "picks": who picks first etc. That way, the ages, skills, and depth are more evenly distributed among all the teams.

The same team that was in the 7/8 age group will not be the same team for the 9/10 age group.

Only the coaches child OR if a sibling is already on the team get to bypass the evaluation. Teams are limited to 2 "official" coaches.

It's not always perfect, but much better than in past years.


I feel your pain because my son was on the same baseball team for 2 years and they won 2 games in two years. And yes, "some" opposing teams coaches kept in their starting pitcher to strike out our boys continuously. I remember the comments that the boys made about our team and not all of them were told to be quiet by their parent nor their coach.

Our town has just 1 middle school and 1 high school so these kids would be playing for the same school soon.

My "mom memory" never forgot that and I well remember the coach and the kids who acted that way.

I will freely admit that this petty part of me was secretly pleased when my son absolutely flattened his son a couple of times in football last year.

I also had to bite my tongue last fall when I heard the same parents complaining about how "Johnny" or "Brenden" weren't getting playing time on the middle school baseball team nor the traveling team during the summer or the middle school football team.

I sooooooo wanted to say, "How does it feel to be on the other side?", but I didn't.

Jillsie Pea
We Will Never Forget

PeaNut 226,757
October 2005
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Posted: 10/9/2012 11:40:31 AM

I don't give 2 shits about what our team's winning record is. What I do care about is that DS has the opportunity to participate in a team sport, to get some exercise and to have some fun. Rec soccer is and should be designed for kids like him.

Hitting the nail on the head!

This is why I love indoor soccer, no score is kept and the kids have so much more fun because of it.


PeaNut 184,535
January 2005
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Posted: 10/9/2012 11:57:08 AM

I don't give 2 shits about what our team's winning record is. What I do care about is that DS has the opportunity to participate in a team sport, to get some exercise and to have some fun. Rec soccer is and should be designed for kids like him.

Hitting the nail on the head!

This is why I love indoor soccer, no score is kept and the kids have so much more fun because of it.

I totally agree with this too. It's not that we keep score...not officially, but I guarantee the teams and people watching know when it's 10-0.

I'm not the kind of parent that pushes scores either. It's about learning the sport, having fun, learning sportsmanship, etc. I just think the teams should be created a LITTLE more fairly.

AGain, everyone, I appreciate so much all the input.

A member of the 53%.

PeaNut 184,708
January 2005
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Posted: 10/9/2012 12:36:19 PM
The question I have is what does your daughter think?

Does it bother her to be on a losing team? Does she have friends on her team that she enjoys playing with? Or is it a chore just getting her to go to practice/games because she hates it?

You said she's a leader on the you think that in and of itself might be a better learning experience than scoring a few extra goals? After all, a child learning leadership skills can't be a bad thing, even if the team loses. And isn't that what we put our kids into organized sports for anyway? My older son was on a soccer team one year that only scored one goal all season...and they scored it for the other team accidentally. Did it kill He enjoyed himself, made friends and had a good time and a good laugh out of it all. It didn't scar him for life. He went on to play college sports (not soccer admittedly but that's not where his passion was).

Honestly, unless your child is miserable, I'd take a step back. You admitted this is only your second year in the league. Who knows what might happen next year, or the next year. Kids mature at different times and their abilities come through differently. You may have a killer team next just don't know. There aren't any college coaches out there scouting out the 6 or 8 year old teams, so you have time. If your child is enjoying herself, let it go and leave it be. Bite your tongue and keep on keeping on.

Being on a losing team is much more of a character builder than being on an winning team. The most important thing here isn't winning or losing, it's getting your child out getting exercise and making friends. If the team can win too, that's just gravy, but not the most important part.

"There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer."

- Ansel Adams


PeaNut 285,319
November 2006
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Posted: 10/9/2012 1:42:18 PM
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Contact some of the other "stacked" teams and find your daughter a new team.

Okay fine, I'll probably never skinny dip, but I'm having fun in smaller swimsuits!

Ancient Ancestor of Pea

PeaNut 87,597
May 2003
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Posted: 10/9/2012 1:51:51 PM
They usually keep teams together by the time they are 10 in our area. Younger kids, they are usually on different teams each year. Not always, but usually. That is how it has been for my 9 yr. old, she has played soccer since she was 4.

My 13 yr. old was with the same team from ages 9-11. They switched to a different team for ages 12-13. She loves this team.

My 15 yr. old has played on a co-ed team this year and last. She LOVES it! Yes, probably the cute boys have a lot to do with it. But the boys make it fun for her! They make her a better player and we have found that the girls on this team are just as good as the boys! The boys are not as aggressive as the girls on her former all girls teams. Maybe you could look into the co-ed team for your daughter. I wish my girls could have been on the co-ed teams from the beginning. My husband and I credit playing with the boys for making our daughter love soccer and become very good.

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