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scrapnchick
I'm not a pea, I'm a cherry
PeaNut 26,297
December 2001
Posts: 8,411
Layouts: 42
Loc: In my own little corner, in my own little chair
 |  Posted: 10/10/2012 12:05:03 PM
off to work BBIAB |
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shannoninkc
PeaAddict
PeaNut 304,038
March 2007
Posts: 1,374
Layouts: 0
Loc: Where you vacation.
 | Posted: 10/10/2012 12:05:45 PM
I just have to say I understand when are the one with the BIG car or van or SUV because you want one, or because you have three kids, like me....it seems some people think, "hey, she has room, she can just take my kids.". I have one kid I drive to a lot of cheer practices and to games, because my kid asks, and I have room, so I don't care. I do care that I've assumed the role of nanny for this kid and have not once been offered a thank you or a ride for my kid. I just take her because quite honestly I feel bad that her parents don't seem to care to even show up for her games.
So I get when you say you are just tired.  | |
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Dalai Mama
La Pea Boheme
PeaNut 49,641
September 2002
Posts: 24,386
Layouts: 85
Loc: Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn
 | Posted: 10/10/2012 12:12:42 PM
DS just texted me (They are at lunch at school) friends' mom wants to know if I can drive him because she will still be at work, and she will come later with the cake when she gets off.
So, who's hosting? What a farce. 
Here's how the conversation would go with my kids - I'm driving you and your brother. I am not helping at the party. I am not driving any additional kids.
If they are relying on you that's too freakin' bad. |
Jo Mama
***********************************
Gotta kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight. - Bruce Cockburn
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams
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AnniesPaperGarden
PeaAddict
PeaNut 387,494
August 2008
Posts: 1,469
Layouts: 0
Loc: Central Minnesota
 | Posted: 10/10/2012 12:14:18 PM
scrapnchick-
I don't blame you for not wanting to drive your kids to the party and then supervise too! It is the other mother's responsibility to host the party, not yours. Good luck! | |
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*Lena*
PeaFixture
PeaNut 463,295
April 2010
Posts: 3,444
Layouts: 3
Loc: New York City
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2boysandwill
My turn to hit the PEAnata!!!
PeaNut 121,208
December 2003
Posts: 13,134
Layouts: 71
Loc: SCV, CA
 | Posted: 10/10/2012 12:37:30 PM
I was just thinking though, if it were ME, I would include the other mom and younger child in the party, since I did ask for her help. I don't have any expectations,
If it were me throwing the party, I would invite your 12 yo on the fact that he's close in age and knows my child (the birthday boy/girl). And, if I knew I would be asking you to stay vs. just drop off your twins, I would also make sure you were aware that your 12 y.o. was welcomed.
To me, this is basic, common courtesy. I'm just being courteous to my invited guests. While I don't judge parents who "draw lines" on this sort of thing, I still don't understand *why* they do this. Or better yet, I don't agree with drawing "the invitation line" at the expense of another child (no matter what age). *I* don't like doing this, but don't judge those that do. | |
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yungmom
Just Me
PeaNut 15,437
May 2001
Posts: 28,629
Layouts: 111
Loc: Salt Lake
 | Posted: 10/10/2012 12:38:06 PM
I'm irritated that this mom couldn't even be bothered to ask me herself. She just assumes that I will be there because I always have been.
Maybe she isn't assuming that. Maybe since this information has come through your son, though his friend that his mom has said something else altogether. I've heard a lot of things through my kids that weren't really true, but were said because of communication problems.
Since you don't have her number have your son get it and call the mom or at least have her call you if she wants help. |
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luckywife
PeaAddict
PeaNut 390,178
September 2008
Posts: 1,397
Layouts: 0
Loc: Sittin' on my front porch
| Posted: 10/10/2012 12:41:19 PM
DS just texted me (They are at lunch at school) friends' mom wants to know if I can drive him because she will still be at work, and she will come later with the cake when she gets off.
Wait, am I reading this right? The other mom has not even talked to you, but expects you to take her son to his own party because she has to work? And she is telling you the day of the party? That mom is a wack-job!  |
Mrs. Steven Rudy
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paigepea
I'm PEAchy Keen!
PeaNut 74,479
March 2003
Posts: 17,033
Layouts: 116
| Posted: 10/10/2012 12:53:16 PM
How would the son get to his own party if you couldn't drive him.
Sounds absurd. I'd say I'm taking my kids only and plan to have a fun time with my kids if no one else shows up.
dumb dumb dumb dumb duuuuumb.
Paige. |
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KatieBPea
PeaFixture
PeaNut 30,940
February 2002
Posts: 3,994
Layouts: 0
Loc: NJ
| Posted: 10/10/2012 2:00:26 PM
The additional details you're sharing about this whole situation make me feel sorry for the birthday child. (That doesn't mean you should be the one to transport all the guests and basically host the party, though). |
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Sharl
Gotta Have My Starbucks!
PeaNut 6,748
September 2000
Posts: 6,111
Layouts: 106
Loc: I'm thinking Starbucks
| Posted: 10/10/2012 2:31:30 PM
Call me a cynic, but this whole story seems a bit far fetched now. The OP didn't get the answers she wanted to her first post, so along comes all this other stuff to add to it. If it is all true, sorry. But still, it seems off to me. |
Sharl
*NEVER SAY NEVER!!!!!* | |
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BudgetMama
StuckOnPeas
PeaNut 138,670
March 2004
Posts: 2,193
Layouts: 2
Loc: Oregon
| Posted: 10/10/2012 2:46:10 PM
are you sure that this boy and your sons aren't trying to plan a party themselves - without the mom's involvement?? | |
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kimberly38
Ancient Ancestor of Pea
PeaNut 198,401
March 2005
Posts: 6,159
Layouts: 0
Loc: Wernersville, PA
 | Posted: 10/10/2012 3:07:18 PM
If I were the parent, I would not be getting information from a child where I am expected to help at a birthday party, I would be talking ot that parent directly.
They invented phones for a reason, you know?
I think you need to get this chick's phone number and talk to her directly and ask her what in the world is going on? Is this a birthday party that she planned or one that her son is planning? It seems really fishy to me that she does not even p;an to be at her own child's birthday party until it is time for cake. You need to talk to her directly and find out the deal.
And if she says something along the lines of, "Oh, I am working, can you do this for me until I get there?", "No, I am afraid that will not be possible.". | |
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**cindyupnorth**
Tony is MY hoochie!
PeaNut 3,902
April 2000
Posts: 24,403
Layouts: 9
Loc: MN
 | Posted: 10/10/2012 7:24:48 PM
I'm still shaking my head at the part where the MOM wanted you to take HER son..the BDAY boy to his OWN party??!! WTH??
so what did you say when you called her?? |
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gmcwife1
SamFan
PeaNut 33,625
March 2002
Posts: 8,104
Layouts: 0
Loc: Washington State
| Posted: 10/10/2012 7:40:53 PM
Love your update!!
I'm glad you are trying something new and even a little out of your comfort zone
I'm driving my 13 yr old, two 14 yr olds and two other 13 yr olds to a weekend retreat this weekend. I can't imagine if their parents had to go with them - mine would be the only one there 
I'm really glad you are able to let your boys go
~ Dori ~
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rugrtmom
PeaAddict
PeaNut 18,589
July 2001
Posts: 1,866
Layouts: 116
Loc: CA
| Posted: 10/10/2012 11:40:04 PM
Well I won't even comment on most of the drama, but this...
PS- RSVP was done word of mouth, as was the invitation. There was no actual paper, or even email invitation.
Would have been avoided at the very beginning. My youngest dd tried to get me to take her to a birthday party that was supposedly done this way. I told her that until I had a paper invitation (or at least an e-mail) in my possession the party did not exist to me!
I also don't communicate with the parents of my kids friends through the kids. Not to say that I'm friends with their parents or anything, just that if my kid has been invited to something I am going to talk with that parent myself.
OP, not to sound harsh, but it sounds like you really need to learn the word NO! I mean just because someone asks you for a favor does not automatically mean they are taking advantage of you. And if you really are the mom who refuses to let her 13yo boys  be dropped off a party without you then of course people are going to ask if they can get a ride!
If I was going to stay at a party anyway it would be no big deal to take someone else's kid (although not the birthday child--that's drawing the line). Hey, I carpooled with a girl from my dd's soccer team last year which really consisted of me driving the girls to and from practice twice a week and I never once felt taken advantage of because I was staying at practice and the girl lived near us (of course that also meant I didn't feel bad when the carpool situation stopped working for us and she had to find her own ride). |
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GIPfunny
PeaNut 147,074
May 2004
Posts: 25,947
Layouts: 521
| Posted: 10/11/2012 12:05:08 AM
Call me a cynic, but this whole story seems a bit far fetched now. The OP didn't get the answers she wanted to her first post, so along comes all this other stuff to add to it. If it is all true, sorry. But still, it seems off to me.
You're a cynic. I choose to believe her. She's been around for a while. She's not asking for money for the prom, or to pay her bills and then go to Disneyland. Eh, no skin of my nose if it's not true. | |
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Miglets
PeaAddict
PeaNut 19,198
July 2001
Posts: 1,163
Layouts: 2
Loc: NJ
| Posted: 10/11/2012 4:14:03 PM
Good for you! I tend to be a people-pleaser too (but am getting better as I'm nearing 50), so I know how hard that must have been for you. And since it all worked out, it won't be so hard the next time you have to take a stand.
So how is birthday boy getting to his own shindig? |
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CnBsmommy
PeaAddict
PeaNut 308,331
April 2007
Posts: 1,134
Layouts: 0
Loc: Southwest
| Posted: 10/12/2012 9:43:58 AM
glad you said no & that someone else will help with driving.
I will add, at 13, they should be able to be at a party without the need of you being there. | |
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