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 Gsquaredmom One step closer to Pea hD PeaNut 259,367 April 2006 Posts: 7,945 Layouts: 0 Loc: Chicago suburbs
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:28:13 PM
UPDATE: My father passed away peacefully, surrounded by family, this evening (11/18/12). Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.
Original:
I feel like I am in-between.
We just found out he has Stage 4 Glioblastoma, the most aggressive brain cancer there is, along with bleeding and ischemic strokes caused by the tumor.
This is on top of advanced Parkinson's Disease. I have medical POA, so have been dealing with that for three years. Over the last couple of days, we have had to plan a funeral, sit with him through lucid and hallucinatory periods, and look at end-of-life-care options, such as hospice. We got him on a list, and can only hope a bed opens soon. But I feel bad that my hope for a bed relies on the end of someone else's life and sorrow for another family.
I am exhausted.
I am sad.
I am relieved that he will not meet his end through Parkinson's, but rather something swift and most likely painless.
I was always my dad's buddy and helper. Today, I told him his work here was done. He said there is more work to do. I told him, no, that he was done, and any work that was left to do, I would finish. Today, I told him that if he sees his parents, Bob, Aggie, or Millie (his siblings) or God, that he should go. Today, I reminded him that I would always take care of him. He told me he wanted to sleep, and I told him it was OK to sleep and that I would come back tomorrow.
My mother is losing her husband of over 52 years. Five children are losing their father, and four grandchildren are losing Grandpa.
He will not turn 81 in January.
It all feels surreal. Waiting. Knowing. Just being in-between.
Please pray or just have good thoughts as he and my family go through this. |
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 modie-may PeaNut PeaNut 490,277 December 2010 Posts: 377 Layouts: 1
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:30:36 PM
I am so sorry. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. | |
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 scrap-tag BucketHead PeaNut 97,528 July 2003 Posts: 917 Layouts: 6 Loc: Oregon
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:30:57 PM
I'm so sorry. Prayers for peace and comfort. Soon your father will be wrapped in the loving embrace of our Father.
Prayers for you and your mom. | |
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 lovetodigi Ancient Ancestor of Pea PeaNut 257,022 April 2006 Posts: 7,665 Layouts: 5 Loc: Metro Atlanta
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:31:45 PM
So sorry that you are having to go through this. Prayers for your family and your Dad. It is so hard to have to let go of the ones that we love. (((HUG))) |
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 Pretty In PeaNK PeaFixture PeaNut 417,489 March 2009 Posts: 3,981 Layouts: 2
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:32:23 PM
I'm so, so sorry. I'll have already said a prayer, and will continue to pray for your father and your family. | |
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 ~KellyAnn~ Calligra-pea PeaNut 82,382 April 2003 Posts: 7,774 Layouts: 8 Loc: southeastern Wisconsin
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:32:29 PM
I can't imagine what you are all going through right now. Your post brought me to tears...especially how you told your dad that he can go, that you will finish his work and that his loved ones will come for him.
My prayers are with you. |
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 lynlam Don'tcha wish your girlfriend had spurs like mine? PeaNut 46,248 August 2002 Posts: 6,366 Layouts: 41 Loc: Ohio
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:33:21 PM
I'm so sorry  |

"We demand entire freedom of action and then expect the government in some miraculous way to save us from the consequences of our own acts... Self-government means self-reliance." Calvin Coolidge
Lynlam, the second-tier Pea, paid (except it appears she is not) political shill. | |
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 caroscraps babies, babies, babies.................. PeaNut 20,301 August 2001 Posts: 11,670 Layouts: 0 Loc: The PEAch State
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:34:51 PM
I am sorry for all your family is enduring. I remember when my dad was dying and yes, feeling in between is a good way to phrase it.
Hugs to you. |
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 DanaLZ StuckOnPeas PeaNut 146,346 May 2004 Posts: 2,597 Layouts: 126 Loc: Peatown, WI
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:35:02 PM
Your post has hit very close to home for me. My dad is 80 and has numerous health issues. Your story brings tears to my eyes.
Huge hugs and prayers that both of you
will find peace and comfort. |
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 revirdsuba Wise~old Pea PeaNut 17,460 June 2001 Posts: 22,100 Layouts: 94 Loc: Central NJ
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:47:15 PM
Wishing your dad and your family peace and comfort through these difficult days. | |
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 TheBiscuitScraps Bubbie is my most prized title. PeaNut 99,833 August 2003 Posts: 5,226 Layouts: 2 Loc: Raleigh, North Carolina
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:50:37 PM
Prayers lifted for you and your family and all those who love your Father. Yes, it is surreal. I'm so sorry you are losing your Dad and friend and I know he will miss his "little helper". I'm still my Daddy's little girl and he has been in heaven since 1992.
I wish you peace sooner, rather than later. |
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 2peafaithful People not perfection PeaNut 35,457 April 2002 Posts: 27,819 Layouts: 0 Loc: Right where I should be
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:52:57 PM
I am very sorry.
I fear losing my parents and don't know how anyone is ever ready for that.
Praying now for you and your family. | |
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 TXMary That's my island! PeaNut 174,226 October 2004 Posts: 7,385 Layouts: 0 Loc: Central Texas/Port Aransas
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:55:56 PM
I am so sorry. It is so hard to lose a daddy. My dad also had five children and four grandchildren when he died in 1993. You are a good daughter and your dad loves you. Your family is in my prayers.
(((Hugs))) |
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 FlaMom Thread Killer Extraordinaire PeaNut 29,166 February 2002 Posts: 6,006 Layouts: 12 Loc: BFE
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 8:56:14 PM
I am so very sorry. |
Tammy
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 chickenscrap PeaNut PeaNut 500,569 February 2011 Posts: 182 Layouts: 0 Loc: Central Texas
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:02:19 PM
Hospice is a wonderful and amazing program. I know first hand. I just lost my Mom 2 days ago. I wish you peace and strength. |
***Liz***
Purple Awareness (Alzheimers)
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 WiiPii Dirty little freaks! PeaNut 374,795 May 2008 Posts: 7,326 Layouts: 0 Loc: too far away....
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:05:32 PM
I am so very sorry.  |
Mostly it's just a silly message board. Except when it isn't.
-missbitts
This is NSBR. Peace is not important to us. We LIKE drama. We seek it out. We create it if need be.
- Voltagain
In honor of my previous self!  | |
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 fwscrapper PeaAddict PeaNut 348,818 November 2007 Posts: 1,492 Layouts: 0 Loc: Cowtown
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:08:42 PM
I am very sorry for your pain. I lost my mom 2011. It was heartbreaking. Prayers of peace as you continue down this path. |
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 mommyto2c StuckOnPeas PeaNut 113,894 October 2003 Posts: 2,384 Layouts: 237 Loc: illinois
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:09:33 PM
I experienced a similar situation in 2009 with my dad. He was 71, had been battling dementia and Parkinson's for over 5 years, my sister and I shared medical decisions and POA for him and it was so sad to see him become a different person almost daily. When he experienced a fall and developed a hematoma (sp?), we began yet another journey into medical terms and experiences.
He only lived almost 2 months after the fall and my sister and I struggled between it being a blessing that he wouldn't continue living with dementia and Parkinson's but knowing we will miss him terribly.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this sad time. When my mom passed in 2004, hospice gave our family a booklet called "Gone from Your (or maybe it was My) Sight". It was a great comfort to us as we went through the stages of dying with her and then him with hospice.
Thinking of you!
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 Mystie Dancing to the end of love. PeaNut 8,446 December 2000 Posts: 11,790 Layouts: 173 Loc: Newport News, VA
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:12:14 PM
Oh sweetie, your post brought tears to my eyes. I pray that your dad will have a peaceful ending. And that your family will be comforted and surrounded with love. |
Janelle
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 peano Lead With Love PeaNut 43,034 July 2002 Posts: 6,188 Layouts: 4 Loc: Connecticut
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:13:37 PM
It is a surreal experience to lose a parent, and I'm sorry you are dealing with that now. My thoughts are with you. |
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 BuckeyeSandy Old Dogs are Best! PeaNut 92,987 June 2003 Posts: 22,352 Layouts: 364 Loc: With my dogs
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:18:54 PM
I went though something similar in 1999 with my dad. P&PTs for your family at this most difficult time. |
Sandy
Every MOM is a working mom!
"Retired" after 22 years of an Air Force Career
REMEMBER this Veterans Day
To quote Wayne Gretzky, "You miss 100% of the shots you never take."
Aesculus | |
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 megan_in_pink PeaAddict PeaNut 286,312 December 2006 Posts: 1,790 Layouts: 17
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:19:14 PM
Can't read and run. (hugs) |
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 tenacious *e* Ancient Ancestor of Pea PeaNut 56,147 November 2002 Posts: 7,722 Layouts: 34 Loc: back in the USA
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:19:43 PM
((hugs))
it is so hard to lose a parent. it is obvious you love your father, and my thoughts are with you as you deal with the changes in life.
erin | |
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 Kate-pea StuckOnPeas PeaNut 146,398 May 2004 Posts: 2,937 Layouts: 1
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:26:06 PM
I'm so sorry. God bless you and your dad as you both go through this journey. He's fortunate to have a daughter like you.
Prayers for chickenscrap, too! | |
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 janet r AncestralPea PeaNut 22,327 October 2001 Posts: 4,073 Layouts: 17
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:26:25 PM
I am so sorry. | |
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 PEArfect AncestralPea PeaNut 452,048 January 2010 Posts: 4,464 Layouts: 0 Loc: Indiana
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:28:14 PM
Your post brought tears to my eyes. It sounds like you have had a wonderful relationship with your dad. I wish your family peace and comfort during this difficult time. |
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 scoobers Why, YES!, I am a princess. PeaNut 417,049 March 2009 Posts: 12,860 Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:31:59 PM
I am so very sorry. |
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 leftturnonly Will trade mosquitoes for cookies. PeaNut 416,788 March 2009 Posts: 19,567 Layouts: 0 Loc: Living in Kim's Perfect World, again.
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:32:43 PM
I am relieved that he will not meet his end through Parkinson's, but rather something swift and most likely painless.
Hold onto that. It helps you and it is absolutely true.
It all feels surreal. Waiting. Knowing. Just being in-between.
{{{hugs}}}
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If PC is the way to get to Heaven, I'm going straight to Hell.
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 CupcakePea PeaNut PeaNut 465,236 April 2010 Posts: 191 Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:32:48 PM
Oh I am so sorry (hugs) | |
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 KatieBPea PeaFixture PeaNut 30,940 February 2002 Posts: 3,947 Layouts: 0 Loc: NJ
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:34:34 PM
I'm sorry. Prayers being said for your dad, you and your family. |
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 TinyDogMafia PeaAddict PeaNut 171,402 October 2004 Posts: 1,681 Layouts: 92 Loc: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:36:22 PM
I am so very sorry for all you are going through.
Losing a parent is terribly hard.
((hugs)) | |
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 lucyg819 pearl-clutching nitpicker PeaNut 201,774 April 2005 Posts: 14,373 Layouts: 15 Loc: gone to chemo with BethAnne
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 9:41:00 PM
I'm sorry. It's so hard to lose a parent, no matter what their age. Good luck, I hope it goes easily for him and for you. |
LUCYG
northern california
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."
--Bertrand Russell
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 batya Making the WWW better, one post at a time. PeaNut 59,094 December 2002 Posts: 31,790 Layouts: 24 Loc: up on my high horse
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 10:04:38 PM
I'm so sorry. |
OK. Newbie. This is how it works. If your post consists of 80% sanity, 10% stupidity and 10% all kinds of crazy, we immediately focus on the 20% b/c it discredits the 80%.
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 Pam in MN Half Way There! PeaNut 273,328 August 2006 Posts: 250 Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 10:11:58 PM
I'm so sorry and pray for a peaceful time for your family. My Dad passed away in January at 93 years old and I felt it was too early for him to go. It's always hard to loose a loved one. | |
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 mirabelleswalker My president has 6-pack abs. PeaNut 175,521 November 2004 Posts: 10,932 Layouts: 14 Loc: Here today, gone to Morocco.
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 10:15:30 PM
I'm very sorry that you and your family are facing such a sad transition. Prayers for your father. |
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 Mimima Stay Gold, Ponyboy PeaNut 41,779 July 2002 Posts: 32,567 Layouts: 58 Loc: The Left Coast
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 10:16:55 PM
I am so sorry. Prayers.
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~Mimi
"She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain." - Louisa May Alcott | |
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 finally~a~mama StuckOnPeas PeaNut 438,682 September 2009 Posts: 2,592 Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 10:17:33 PM
I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) and prayers for you. |
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 ktNryansmom *REDEYED PEA* PeaNut 51,842 October 2002 Posts: 13,294 Layouts: 189
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 10:51:46 PM
I'm so sorry |
Karen
**Children should be seen and heard and BELIEVED** | |
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 tidegirl PeaFixture PeaNut 343,259 October 2007 Posts: 3,072 Layouts: 0 Loc: SW USA
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 10:53:14 PM
I am sorry. You have/are doing an incredible job. You all will be in my prayers. Hugs. | |
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 Quinlove BucketHead PeaNut 30,457 February 2002 Posts: 847 Layouts: 2 Loc: Texas
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 10:57:40 PM
I am so very sorry. There are no words. I will pray for you and your family. |
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 llnutswife BucketHead PeaNut 266,242 June 2006 Posts: 988 Layouts: 0 Loc: Hershey PA
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 11:05:27 PM
Hugs to you. I know how you feel. 11 days ago we buried my loving father in law the day before he would have turned 91. The pain is so hard but for us it was also a blessing.
Dad's death was a true testimony to a good man with strong beliefs. He turned to my husband and his sister and told them he needed to take a long journey. They told him it was okay to go on his journey and told him how much he was loved. Five minutes later he was gone.
It still brings tears to my eyes just thinking that I don't get to see him anymore. You will be heartbroken but you will also feel comfort in knowing he is without pain. | |
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 KelleeL Eye pea ;) PeaNut 29,130 February 2002 Posts: 5,445 Layouts: 67 Loc: 01826
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 11:08:45 PM
I'm so sorry. It's so difficult when you know it's best but it hurts so much. |
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 Lmz1234 AncestralPea PeaNut 81,972 April 2003 Posts: 4,239 Layouts: 0
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 11:11:04 PM
I am so very sorry you are going through this. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. |
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"Remember to play after every storm"
-Mattie Stepanek
Lisa | |
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 Kristalina Never mind, I forgot what I was going to say. PeaNut 40,938 June 2002 Posts: 8,443 Layouts: 45 Loc: Middle of the Monterey Bay - Ca.
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 11:20:37 PM
I'm so sorry. It does feel surreal. I've been through it w/both my parents and my dh's parents. You'll look back and remember this time, all the admin. hassles will fade but your time with him won't. |
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XOXO, Kristi . . . . . my Pinterest !
When you see crazy coming, cross the street! | |
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 SunBakedPea BucketHead PeaNut 56,444 November 2002 Posts: 953 Layouts: 7 Loc: Some where near by!
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 11:43:09 PM
I feel your loss and pain.... Just lost my dad to leukemia 3 months ago. I too planned his funeral while we got him on hospice. As I look back now it seems like a bad dream, and some times I say to myself, did that really happen? I cant believe I sat by his bed side holding his hand praying for god to take my father quickly.
Yes, surreal is the perfect way to describe it. I'm so sorry for what you are going thru now, and what is to come. Surround yourself with loved ones and draw strength from your siblings. I will be praying for all of you. |
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 chktrk Al Ask A Pea PeaNut 50,177 September 2002 Posts: 8,942 Layouts: 21 Loc: Alaska
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 11:55:50 PM
My heart ache for you. |
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 Angieh1996 PeaFixture PeaNut 49,998 September 2002 Posts: 3,226 Layouts: 191 Loc: Cedar Rapids, Iowa
 | Posted: 10/27/2012 11:58:58 PM
I am so sorry! I pray for peace for your whole family and strength as you say goodbye. |
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and will sing it back to you when you forget the words.
Author Unknown
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 mamashosh Sugar Snap Pea PeaNut 257,999 April 2006 Posts: 13,355 Layouts: 3
 | Posted: 10/28/2012 12:01:31 AM
I'm so sorry. I know first hand how surreal it all is. I also know that your dad is very lucky to have you as his daughter. |
| "Some people should exercise their compassion a little more and their mouth a little less."-- Burning Feather | |
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 bethany1023 StuckOnPeas PeaNut 315,499 May 2007 Posts: 2,404 Layouts: 3 Loc: Midwest
 | Posted: 10/28/2012 12:18:00 AM
I lost my dad 5 years ago last month. I am so sorry this is happening, and how amazing you are for being that person for him. | |
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 Luvnlifelady Ancient Ancestor of Pea PeaNut 289,166 December 2006 Posts: 17,315 Layouts: 7 Loc: Southern California
 | Posted: 10/28/2012 12:20:32 AM
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I'm crying as I type this since it's a lot like I went through with my own dad. It's such a range of emotions since for us, his passing did bring a bit of relief. We knew he was no longer in pain.
If your dad has to go, I wish him a speedy passing and onto better things for him. It's been 12 years and I still miss my dad terribly. He was only 68!  |
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