UPDATE---He passed. My father is dying and it feels so surreal

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Posted 10/27/2012 by Gsquaredmom in NSBR Board
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Gsquaredmom

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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:28:13 PM
UPDATE: My father passed away peacefully, surrounded by family, this evening (11/18/12). Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Original:

I feel like I am in-between.

We just found out he has Stage 4 Glioblastoma, the most aggressive brain cancer there is, along with bleeding and ischemic strokes caused by the tumor.

This is on top of advanced Parkinson's Disease. I have medical POA, so have been dealing with that for three years. Over the last couple of days, we have had to plan a funeral, sit with him through lucid and hallucinatory periods, and look at end-of-life-care options, such as hospice. We got him on a list, and can only hope a bed opens soon. But I feel bad that my hope for a bed relies on the end of someone else's life and sorrow for another family.

I am exhausted.

I am sad.

I am relieved that he will not meet his end through Parkinson's, but rather something swift and most likely painless.

I was always my dad's buddy and helper. Today, I told him his work here was done. He said there is more work to do. I told him, no, that he was done, and any work that was left to do, I would finish. Today, I told him that if he sees his parents, Bob, Aggie, or Millie (his siblings) or God, that he should go. Today, I reminded him that I would always take care of him. He told me he wanted to sleep, and I told him it was OK to sleep and that I would come back tomorrow.

My mother is losing her husband of over 52 years. Five children are losing their father, and four grandchildren are losing Grandpa.

He will not turn 81 in January.

It all feels surreal. Waiting. Knowing. Just being in-between.

Please pray or just have good thoughts as he and my family go through this.



modie-may
BucketHead

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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:30:36 PM
I am so sorry. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
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scrap-tag
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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:30:57 PM
I'm so sorry. Prayers for peace and comfort. Soon your father will be wrapped in the loving embrace of our Father.

Prayers for you and your mom.

lovetodigi
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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:31:45 PM
So sorry that you are having to go through this. Prayers for your family and your Dad. It is so hard to have to let go of the ones that we love. (((HUG)))




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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:32:23 PM
I'm so, so sorry. I'll have already said a prayer, and will continue to pray for your father and your family.

~KellyAnn~
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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:32:29 PM
I can't imagine what you are all going through right now. Your post brought me to tears...especially how you told your dad that he can go, that you will finish his work and that his loved ones will come for him.
My prayers are with you.


~Kelly~

lynlam
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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:33:21 PM
I'm so sorry





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caroscraps
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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:34:51 PM
I am sorry for all your family is enduring. I remember when my dad was dying and yes, feeling in between is a good way to phrase it.

Hugs to you.


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DanaLZ
StuckOnPeas

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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:35:02 PM
Your post has hit very close to home for me. My dad is 80 and has numerous health issues. Your story brings tears to my eyes.

Huge hugs and prayers that both of you
will find peace and comfort.


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revirdsuba
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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:47:15 PM
Wishing your dad and your family peace and comfort through these difficult days.

TheBiscuitScraps
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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:50:37 PM
Prayers lifted for you and your family and all those who love your Father. Yes, it is surreal. I'm so sorry you are losing your Dad and friend and I know he will miss his "little helper". I'm still my Daddy's little girl and he has been in heaven since 1992.

I wish you peace sooner, rather than later.


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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:52:57 PM
I am very sorry.

I fear losing my parents and don't know how anyone is ever ready for that.

Praying now for you and your family.

TXMary
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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:55:56 PM
I am so sorry. It is so hard to lose a daddy. My dad also had five children and four grandchildren when he died in 1993. You are a good daughter and your dad loves you. Your family is in my prayers.

(((Hugs)))



FlaMom
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Posted: 10/27/2012 8:56:14 PM
I am so very sorry.


Tammy

chickenscrap
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:02:19 PM
Hospice is a wonderful and amazing program. I know first hand. I just lost my Mom 2 days ago. I wish you peace and strength.


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WiiPii
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:05:32 PM
I am so very sorry.


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fwscrapper
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:08:42 PM
I am very sorry for your pain. I lost my mom 2011. It was heartbreaking. Prayers of peace as you continue down this path.


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mommyto2c
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:09:33 PM
I experienced a similar situation in 2009 with my dad. He was 71, had been battling dementia and Parkinson's for over 5 years, my sister and I shared medical decisions and POA for him and it was so sad to see him become a different person almost daily. When he experienced a fall and developed a hematoma (sp?), we began yet another journey into medical terms and experiences.

He only lived almost 2 months after the fall and my sister and I struggled between it being a blessing that he wouldn't continue living with dementia and Parkinson's but knowing we will miss him terribly.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this sad time. When my mom passed in 2004, hospice gave our family a booklet called "Gone from Your (or maybe it was My) Sight". It was a great comfort to us as we went through the stages of dying with her and then him with hospice.

Thinking of you!


Judy

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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:12:14 PM
Oh sweetie, your post brought tears to my eyes. I pray that your dad will have a peaceful ending. And that your family will be comforted and surrounded with love.


Janelle



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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:13:37 PM
It is a surreal experience to lose a parent, and I'm sorry you are dealing with that now. My thoughts are with you.


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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:18:54 PM
I went though something similar in 1999 with my dad. P&PTs for your family at this most difficult time.


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megan_in_pink
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:19:14 PM
Can't read and run. (hugs)



tenacious *e*
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:19:43 PM
((hugs))

it is so hard to lose a parent. it is obvious you love your father, and my thoughts are with you as you deal with the changes in life.

erin

Kate-pea
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:26:06 PM
I'm so sorry. God bless you and your dad as you both go through this journey. He's fortunate to have a daughter like you.

Prayers for chickenscrap, too!

janet r
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:26:25 PM
I am so sorry.

PEArfect
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:28:14 PM
Your post brought tears to my eyes. It sounds like you have had a wonderful relationship with your dad. I wish your family peace and comfort during this difficult time.


Jen


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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:31:59 PM
I am so very sorry.



leftturnonly
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:32:43 PM

I am relieved that he will not meet his end through Parkinson's, but rather something swift and most likely painless.



Hold onto that. It helps you and it is absolutely true.



It all feels surreal. Waiting. Knowing. Just being in-between.


{{{hugs}}}






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CupcakePea
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:32:48 PM
Oh I am so sorry (hugs)

KatieBPea
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:34:34 PM
I'm sorry. Prayers being said for your dad, you and your family.


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TinyDogMafia
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:36:22 PM
I am so very sorry for all you are going through.

Losing a parent is terribly hard.

((hugs))

lucyg819
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Posted: 10/27/2012 9:41:00 PM
I'm sorry. It's so hard to lose a parent, no matter what their age. Good luck, I hope it goes easily for him and for you.


LUCYG
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Posted: 10/27/2012 10:04:38 PM
I'm so sorry.


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Pam in MN
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Posted: 10/27/2012 10:11:58 PM
I'm so sorry and pray for a peaceful time for your family. My Dad passed away in January at 93 years old and I felt it was too early for him to go. It's always hard to loose a loved one.

mirabelleswalker
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Posted: 10/27/2012 10:15:30 PM
I'm very sorry that you and your family are facing such a sad transition. Prayers for your father.



Mimima
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Posted: 10/27/2012 10:16:55 PM
I am so sorry. Prayers.


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finally~a~mama
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Posted: 10/27/2012 10:17:33 PM
I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) and prayers for you.




ktNryansmom
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Posted: 10/27/2012 10:51:46 PM
I'm so sorry


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Posted: 10/27/2012 10:53:14 PM
I am sorry. You have/are doing an incredible job. You all will be in my prayers. Hugs.

Quinlove
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Posted: 10/27/2012 10:57:40 PM
I am so very sorry. There are no words. I will pray for you and your family.




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llnutswife
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Posted: 10/27/2012 11:05:27 PM
Hugs to you. I know how you feel. 11 days ago we buried my loving father in law the day before he would have turned 91. The pain is so hard but for us it was also a blessing.

Dad's death was a true testimony to a good man with strong beliefs. He turned to my husband and his sister and told them he needed to take a long journey. They told him it was okay to go on his journey and told him how much he was loved. Five minutes later he was gone.

It still brings tears to my eyes just thinking that I don't get to see him anymore. You will be heartbroken but you will also feel comfort in knowing he is without pain.

KelleeL
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Posted: 10/27/2012 11:08:45 PM
I'm so sorry. It's so difficult when you know it's best but it hurts so much.





Lmz1234
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Posted: 10/27/2012 11:11:04 PM
I am so very sorry you are going through this. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


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Posted: 10/27/2012 11:20:37 PM
I'm so sorry. It does feel surreal. I've been through it w/both my parents and my dh's parents. You'll look back and remember this time, all the admin. hassles will fade but your time with him won't.


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SunBakedPea
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Posted: 10/27/2012 11:43:09 PM
I feel your loss and pain.... Just lost my dad to leukemia 3 months ago. I too planned his funeral while we got him on hospice. As I look back now it seems like a bad dream, and some times I say to myself, did that really happen? I cant believe I sat by his bed side holding his hand praying for god to take my father quickly.

Yes, surreal is the perfect way to describe it. I'm so sorry for what you are going thru now, and what is to come. Surround yourself with loved ones and draw strength from your siblings. I will be praying for all of you.


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chktrk
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Posted: 10/27/2012 11:55:50 PM
My heart ache for you.





Angieh1996
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Posted: 10/27/2012 11:58:58 PM


I am so sorry! I pray for peace for your whole family and strength as you say goodbye.


A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and will sing it back to you when you forget the words.

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mamashosh
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Posted: 10/28/2012 12:01:31 AM
I'm so sorry. I know first hand how surreal it all is. I also know that your dad is very lucky to have you as his daughter.



bethany1023
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Posted: 10/28/2012 12:18:00 AM
I lost my dad 5 years ago last month. I am so sorry this is happening, and how amazing you are for being that person for him.
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Luvnlifelady
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Posted: 10/28/2012 12:20:32 AM
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I'm crying as I type this since it's a lot like I went through with my own dad. It's such a range of emotions since for us, his passing did bring a bit of relief. We knew he was no longer in pain.

If your dad has to go, I wish him a speedy passing and onto better things for him. It's been 12 years and I still miss my dad terribly. He was only 68!


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