s/o vent post - why is your husband/ex-husband/boyfriend/so an a**?

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Posted 11/14/2012 by icedpea in NSBR Board
 

icedpea
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Posted: 11/14/2012 2:27:04 PM
One person wanted to vent that their husband is an a**. I'm sure many agree and I'm not sure the text count here will allow me to "voice" all of my reasons. However, I will start. He lies to me and doesn't understand why I cannot trust any word that comes out of his mouth. He feels he does NOTHING wrong EVER.

sammi71
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Posted: 11/14/2012 2:31:13 PM
Mine is an a** (not sure why we are using the * here, but will go with it) for a few reasons, but lying to me constantly to the point I can not trust him and then being an arrogant prick (my interpretation) after the fact does not come into that. Two different levels of a**.

ETA - what does he lie about? If it's whether he washed the dishes or not, you are strange. If it's about what he did last night, that's another matter.

JBeans
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Posted: 11/14/2012 2:32:34 PM


I'll be shocked if people sell their husbands out like this.

If your relationship is built on lies, then is this really a good relationship to have?


Well Peas, I believe this thread has gone Thrusday.
"The Pot has not just met the Kettle, they are getting jiggy on the top of the stove." -Lanus

icedpea
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Posted: 11/14/2012 2:37:21 PM
Sammi71- maybe we are married to the same person and he's lying about that too!

Jbeans- sometimes a person is stuck in a relationship.

Bumpsy
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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:06:24 PM
I'd never say that my husband is an ass, simply because he isn't. I think it's really poor form to bad mouth the man I'm married to on the internet.


I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear.

KikiNichole

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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:09:38 PM
My husband is an ass because he's human. I'm an ass because I'm human. But that's the nature of marriage. However, I do not believe in sharing those things with just any Tom, Dick or Harry in the world. Sometimes I will confide in a best friend...but I would sure be hurt if he denounced me publicly. I'm not about to do it to him.


~Kristen~

KikiNichole

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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:10:44 PM
And I have a great deal of compassion for people in loveless marriages. I know how much those hurt. But I rarely think one is *stuck* in one.


~Kristen~

sammi71
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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:18:32 PM
icedpea - I doubt that very much. I have certain boundaries which do not get crossed and he seems to have more respect for me than to display the behaviour you are talking about.

Bumpsy - good on ya! I kind of started a quest for the perfect man when I was a lot younger and finally settled on one who was a total a** from time to time but didn't do anything too bad and is great to be aroud, so I am happy to live with that. I see his imperfections and don't mind saying he can be a bit of an a**!!

After all, I am FAR too behind on manners to realise that having a joke about my OH is such a no-no and will occasionally venture into 'bad form' territory. Sorry.


JBeans
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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:23:07 PM

Jbeans- sometimes a person is stuck in a relationship.


You're never stuck. You choosing not to look for a way out.


Well Peas, I believe this thread has gone Thrusday.
"The Pot has not just met the Kettle, they are getting jiggy on the top of the stove." -Lanus

KikiNichole

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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:25:36 PM
I joke about my husband all the time. Like I said, we're both human.

And I've even posted here before...but learned really quickly the old adage: I can call him an a$$ but no one else can. Posting about a spouse here garners one of two results: It's a dealbreaker and I'd leave his ass or you're a nag with no respect for your husband. Either way, that's not what I want to hear, so I just don't say it.

So I find when it involves things that *really* bother me, beyond the comical, occasional minor irritations, it's best to keep those mainly to myself.

I remember the advice my mom first gave me after I'd only been married a short while and was constantly complaining about my husband. She said...'if you want me to continue to like this man that you love, you need to quit telling me every bad thing he does'...

and she was right. I don't want people to think poorly of my husband, so I tend not to talk poorly of him...but then, it's not often that I think poorly of him either. So, it's all good.



~Kristen~

Bumpsy
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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:32:42 PM
Sammi, I can see my husbands imperfections too (and I'm sure he can see mine!) but I don't think Icedpea meant this in a jokey way and I don't believe this is the place to enlighten everyone in what I think my husbands imperfections are.
Oh and here in Ireland he wouldn't be an ass he would be an arse


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irishscrappermom8
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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:37:14 PM
My DH is an ass because it took him 4 months to buy a new doorbell (wireless one) since he decided to take the old one down when i was painting last April. I tried to buy one and he didnt lime it and rook it back and didnt buy another one! he finally bought one in July and its been another three months and he hasn't put the actual push button part by the door. Why hasn't he done it? Because now he's lost them. We're expecting our phones to be delivered tomorrow and DD can't sit all day by the door; she'll be home for several hours between classes.

He also won't get off his butt and help DD research used cars. I told him I didn't know what type of questions to ask, things to look for and that I didn't want DD calling and/or meeting people without someone else there (actually he said he wanted this before I said it). I have filled out loan papers, DD and I have gone to the bank and signed the forms, gone to the insurance agent to get info and I have gone through the classifieds we have at my work and sent info about car prospects home. He's "too tired".

I have had to decide what to get/how much to spend on DD for her birthday (next week) and what to spend/get for DD and DS for Xmas.

And he does not say it, but whenever I state something or answer a question I am wrong and he is right. I could say the sky is blue and he'd say "it's more gray than blue", stupid stuff like that. I am SICK and TIRED of it.

I am also extremely hormonal because I am officially perimenopausal according to the doctor. I know the hormonal thing is making it worse, but right now he is making me so frakking angry and he doesn't get it.




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icedpea
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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:54:01 PM
I don't talk about my husband to anyone. This is not berating him publicly, but anonymously. None of you know him. This was my vent for the day and I thought it might lead to some funny, playful stories. Nothing more.

KikiNichole

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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:59:17 PM
I'm sorry, icedpea. I am. It's so emotionally stressful to be in a difficult relationships.

But funny, playful stories are things like...I sent my husband to the store for butter and he came home with 23230 cases of pop and 92 boxes of Little Debbie (true story, btw).

When every word he says to you is a lie...that's not funny or playful...and it makes me feel badly that you have to vent about it.


~Kristen~

UkSue
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Posted: 11/14/2012 3:59:46 PM
My ex lied to me about everything- and I mean everything. Which is why we are no longer together. I didn't really talk about it until we split though- and my kids don't know the details either.


It's not the passage of time that heals. It's what you do with that time.
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